“Never leave a trail when it comes to family drama,” he said laughing.
“Sounds like you’ve dealt with it before?” I prodded.
“Who hasn’t?” he asked.
I nodded and in the same instant saw an alert come over my email for a dinner date with my dad.
“Speak of the devil,” I said, clicking on the message. I read it through and sure enough there was no mention of my brother attending.
“So you’ll be coming?” he asked, sitting back in the seat.
I bit my lip and glanced back at Jason. “I will. But I’ll bring Brandy with me. My dad won’t want drama to be seen by anyone outside of the family; so hopefully, he’ll behave with two outsiders around.”
“You know I’ve been thinking about what you told me back at the coffee shop,” he began. “And I’d just hate to think that fear is holding you back from your dreams.”
“Sometimes fear can be a driving force for change too,” I countered. But I had to admit I was in complete shock that he’d really paid attention to any of the things I’d told him at the coffee shop.
“Yeah. It can be.” He nodded and leaned closer to the desk. “But that’s not what I see when I watch you here. I see you getting absorbed into a system you don’t want to be part of.”
“You wanna know my biggest fear?” I whispered, leaning forward across my desk.
His lip quirked up slightly in amusement and he nodded.
Placing my index finger on his chin, I gently turned it toward the glass overlooking the cubicles and pointed. I felt especially bold in this position and enjoyed the energy that was running between us.
“That. Out there. On your way out, take a look inside all of the offices. You’ll see pictures of family plastered everywhere, but if you ask them about their kids, they don’t really know them. One guy even missed his first two kids’ graduations because of business trips. He actually bragged about it to me like that would prove how loyal he was to the company. Who does that? So in a nutshell that is my fear. I don’t want to become inhuman and forget what’s really important in life…because this isn’t it.”
Jason turned to face me and his eyes locked on mine. I was still leaning across my desk, and he was only inches away, but I didn’t move. My pulse accelerated as his eyes fell to my mouth, lingering on my lips. I took a deep breath in, and a light mix of cologne and soap mingled in the air between us.
“I think that’s a legitimate fear,” he murmured, his eyes still searing through me as his gaze shifted. “But that’s not who you are. You would never become that no matter what your circumstances were.”
I felt heat run through me and began to slide back in my chair. After all, I was in the office with the blinds up. I didn’t want to provide a complete show for my coworkers.
“I think I also timed this visit pretty well…” his voice was light as he wiggled his brows, bringing me back to reality.
“How so?” I asked, while typing back to my father.
“It’s almost quitting time, isn’t it?” The look in his eyes was intoxicating. I felt like he drugged my senses. “I thought it would be nice to take you out for a pre-dinner date before Friday. Make sure you really want to commit to an entire dinner with me.”
“Is there a reason I wouldn’t want to commit?” I teased.
“Well…” His eyes never left mine as he teased out a feeling of desire and need that was crazy-intense.
“You know what? Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.” I held up my hand and waved it around, turning my attention back to my monitor. I had to get a grip.
“There were a few people going over to Pinky’s after work. We could…”
He arched his brows. “Is that really what you want to do?” he asked.
“Not really,” I confessed, shutting off my laptop. “I already told Bennett I wasn’t interested.”
“The guy that gave me the look of death, is that Bennett?”
I nodded.
“He’s got a thing for you,” he said, smiling as if this bit of information was fascinating.
“Doubtful.” I shook my head and grabbed my purse. “Anyway, Brandy and I carpooled in, and I can’t leave her stranded. She needs a ride home.”
“What. You don’t trust her to drive your car home?” he asked, as amusement filled his eyes.
“It’s not that, but we were going to go down to Pike Place Market on the way home. I don’t want to ditch her.” My list of excuses continued to spiral out of control.
He shook his head and rose up from the chair, shoving his hand into his pocket. “I get it. Not a spur of the moment type of—”
“I am too,” I protested. I hopped up from my chair so hastily I almost made the keyboard fall off the desk. I spotted Brandy putting things away in her file cabinet, which always signaled a day’s end. “I’ll go talk to her.”
“She’s more than welcome to come,” he offered.
Nah. Thanks but no thanks. The thought of getting Jason all to myself over dinner was too good to jeopardize. I walked past him and opened the office door. Feeling his gaze run down the back of me did something that was beyond my recognition, and I wasn’t sure if I was ready for what that could really mean.
“Would you mind if…” I peeped over the cubicle wall to see her tidying up her drawer.
“If you turned that down for me, I’d never speak to you again,” she interrupted, grinning, as she pointed at Jason.
“Thanks. And thanks for letting him up to our floor,” I said, handing her my Jeep keys.
“And try not to blow it,” she whispered. “I’ve seen a few of your expressions, and you look like a deer-in-headlights at times.”
“You were spying on me?” I teased and smiled at her, but I took the instructions to heart. It was probably true.
Walking back into my office, I felt confidence fill me back up. “Ready?” I asked.
He threw me one of his brilliant smiles, and I immediately turned to mush.
“I don’t have my bike, but maybe I should’ve brought it,” he said, reading my mind.
As I imagined my body pressed against his, it was all I could do to walk straight. “Probably better you didn’t,” I murmured too embarrassed to look at him. I was standing next to him, feeling the electricity run between us and I wondered if he felt it too.
His phone buzzed, and he grabbed it out of his pocket. I didn’t mean to glance at the screen, but I caught the name ‘Kayla’ on the text message. My heart sank as my stomach began turning. Kicking myself for falling right into the hands of another player, I wanted to push him to the elevator and send him on his way. No wonder Kayla was eyeing me suspiciously around Jason. She had already staked her claim.
A sigh escaped my lips as we walked by Brandy. She noticed my sudden turn in mood and mouthed to see if I was okay. That was a good question. I had done this so many times before—gotten into relationships that had red flags all along the way as I continued to nose dive-right into the mess—that I, for once, had the ability to stop before it went anywhere. It was like I was a glutton for punishment, and I promised myself I wouldn’t do that any longer. So yes. I was okay because I was going to stop this before it went somewhere it shouldn’t. I nodded at her as we walked by while Jason texted away.
“Sorry,” he muttered as we climbed on the elevator. “I don’t usually ever text or check email.”
“Whatever. Doesn’t matter,” I said, brushing him off as jealousy and anger duked it out on my behalf. “Where’d you want to grab a bite? I want to get home early.”
“Wow. Ending the date before it’s even gotten underway,” he said, raising a brow. Jason was leaning against the elevator wall, his hands were behind him as he propped himself up. My eyes fell along his torso as I mustered something snappy to say, something that would put him on notice. But nothing came to mind.
“You doing okay over there?” he asked, grinning as he caught my gaze. “You look like you’ve got World War III going on in that mi
nd of yours.”
Enough with that smile! I turned and faced the elevator doors as they opened on a floor below us, allowing more people to filter into the elevator. I felt him watching me through the crowd and continually punched down the feelings of glee, knowing that they weren’t anything more than lust…the kind of lust that would allow me to lose control and get into trouble.
The elevator sprinkled us into the lobby, and I continued walking with the crowd, not waiting for Jason. But it didn’t matter. I felt him come up behind me.
“Did something happen between your office and this lobby that I don’t know about?” he asked. His voice was full of concern, and I didn’t think it was an act. Not that I was the best judge of that, however, so I kept walking.
We turned out onto the sidewalk, and I spotted his Jeep down the block and began walking toward it.
“You’re hard to keep up with, in more than one way,” he muttered, following beside me.
“It seems like you’ve got your hands full, and I’m not a fan of being one of many. That’s not my style.” I turned to look at him, and his expression changed from concern to pure amusement, which I didn’t find encouraging.
“Hmm.” He opened the passenger door of the Jeep and I climbed in. Keeping the door open, he leaned against the metal frame. “I’m assuming this had to do with the text?”
I shrugged and buckled myself in, facing the front. “It’s not my business.”
I didn’t want to give him any of the power by looking at him. Yes. He was that good-looking.
Jason closed the door and walked in front of the Jeep, shaking his head. But he wore a smile that seemed to tell him something more than it told me anything. He opened the door and hopped into the driver’s seat.
“Sushi okay?” he asked. “It should be quick so we can get you home like you wanted.” His lips turned upright in the corners as if it was a struggle to keep a straight face.
“Sounds good.” I looked out my window at the bustling city sidewalks, wishing I hadn’t had a momentary lapse where I let myself dream of something more with Jason.
We were sitting on the deck overlooking Lake Union at Sushi Take Two. Sushi Take One was on Fifth Avenue and had been such an immediate hit that the owners quickly found a place for the second restaurant. My father actually owned the building where the first one opened and had become friends with the owners. He was horrified when they decided to name the second restaurant Take Two because he thought the implications of leftover sushi sounded awful. Looking around the packed restaurant, I think it was safe to say that there was nothing to worry about, and for once, my dad was wrong. Needless to say, I’d become addicted to a few of their specials. But I was determined to hide the oinker in me for as long as possible as I scanned the menu for the lightest rolls.
“So I’ve been debating how long to let you sit there and stew,” Jason said, his expression bemused. “I’ve got my theories on what you think the text was about, but I’d love to hear your ideas.”
The sunlight was bouncing off the lake, shimmering right into the line of sight between us. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a pair of black Oakley sunglasses and slipped them on. I grabbed mine out of my purse and pushed them on, avoiding his gaze and wondering what he wanted me to tell him.
“Doesn’t really matter to me. It’s none of my business,” I told him, taking a sip of my iced tea. The walls were building nicely around my heart just how I liked it.
“If I believed that for a second…” He shook his head. “You wouldn’t have turned on me. You and I felt the same thing in your office. You can’t deny what was running between us. The text came and you turned into a frigid—”
“A frigid what?” I interrupted, unable to hide the smile that sprung onto my lips.
“Meh,” he said, grabbing a piece of edamame from the basket. “You already know. No reason to rub it in. So back to what you think that text was about.”
The more he prodded, the more certain I became that it had involved nothing romantic, but I’d already stepped in it too deep to back out now.
“She was probably thanking you for a fabulous night,” I murmured, stirring my tea.
He propped his elbows on the table, his hands steepled. “A fabulous night, huh?” he chided. “Fabulous is how you’d see it?”
“Possibly.” I shrugged and looked out to the lake at the outbound yachts.
“I’ll have to keep that in mind,” he murmured. “Any other ideas?”
“My first guess was that she didn’t want to be abandoned after her fabulous night and was hoping for dinner tonight,” I continued. “Some girls can be very needy.”
“I don’t date girls. I prefer women. They’re usually less maintenance, but you’re giving me a run for my money.”
“Maybe you’re mistaken and placed me in the wrong category,” I told him.
“No. I know exactly where you belong,” he smirked.
And that was all it took. The heat began pumping through my blood as I watched him. He knew the effect he had on me. He had to. Even though he hadn’t denied my accusations, I was hooked.
“And where is that?” I asked, my voice almost hoarse.
He ignored my question, his eyes narrowing with resolve as he began. “I know there’s more to you than the rich girl façade you like to put on. The one who acts wounded from small things when it’s the big things that are crushing you. But I’m willing to wait. To find out who’s really behind that wall you’ve put up. I know it’s worth waiting for.”
“How can you be so certain?” I asked.
“I’m seldom wrong,” he answered.
The waitress came and took our order, which bought me a few seconds to get my thoughts organized.
He nodded, gazing at me as the flush of adrenaline ran through me at my latest confession. He still wasn’t denying either scenario. Bastard!
“So I feel it’s only fair that I show you the text message that got you so riled up. I have to admit, I was tempted to let it go on the entire evening…” He reached in his pocket and pulled out his phone. Clicking on the text, he slid the phone across the table. I felt the muffled wave of blood pounding in my ears as I looked down at the message from Kayla.
Espresso Machine is down A.G.A.I.N. Repair guy won’t be able to fix it until tomorrow afternoon.
His laughter contained nothing but pleasure as he watched my reaction of confusion and relief surface.
“The espresso machine is down?” I asked, eyeing him suspiciously.
“I own the place.”
“You own the coffee shop?” I asked in disbelief.
He nodded and leaned back in the chair, completely enthralled with the set of circumstances that unfolded perfectly to his liking.
“It’s for sale too,” he replied.
“I know. I saw the sign. Is that why you’re trying to woo me?” I asked.
“I didn’t know I was wooing you. Striking out? Yes. Wooing you? No.” He laughed some more, and I felt the knot in my stomach begin to diminish.
“So you’re not dating Kayla,” I repeated aloud once more.
He tilted his head to the side. “I thought we’d established that.” He reached his hand across the table and placed it on mine. “There’s something about you that I can’t get out of my mind.”
“This is a lot to take in,” I said.
“Which part?” he asked puzzled.
“I had convinced myself on the car ride over here you that you were just a typical player,” I stopped myself, realizing there was no saying he wasn’t.
“Listen,” he began, his voice low. “I don’t play around. Life is short. I don’t want to waste my time dealing with shit that won’t mean anything. Maybe when you get to be my age you’ll understand.”
“Right. Cause you’re so old,” I teased, trying to lessen the feelings that were coming over me. The kind of feelings that would lead me right into his arms for the night, the very kind of feelings I’d vowed to ignore.
/>
“I haven’t been in any serious relationships for several years,” he said, his eyes darkening.
“But I’m sure you’ve been in plenty of non-serious ones?” I arched my brow as I waited for his comeback. I was sure he had one.
He twisted his lips into a pucker as he debated what to say, how to work his way out of my accusation.
“Actually, I’ve spent the last several years working nonstop to get where I want to be.”
The waitress brought our rolls and sashimi to the table and asked if we needed anything else. We both shook our heads.
“And where is that?” I asked.
“Right here. Able to have a wonderful dinner with wonderful company, doing a job that I enjoy.”
“It seems odd. You barely got out of the service and in less than five years you’ve got a bike shop, a coffee shop, and two houses?”
“It’s complicated,” he said, placing a couple of the California rolls on his plate.
“It always is. I’ve got time. No place to be,” I replied.
“Not in a rush to get home any more?”
I shook my head, watching his eyes light up slightly at my change of heart.
“It has to do with your brother. Think you can handle it?”
“Let me have it,” I said, grabbing sashimi and cucumber rolls. I ignored the sinking feeling that went along with my words.
“I developed an app that—”
“You program?” I interrupted. What couldn’t he do?
He shrugged. “The basics. When your brother and I were overseas, we realized that civilians, on a much smaller scale, could use the surveillance programs that the military had adopted. We spent the last year in the service daydreaming about how to get a start-up going.”
“Yeah?” I prompted.
“So the short of it is that we developed an app that can be used by home owners or businesses that allows them to watch over their property from their phone or tablet. We originally developed it for PCs, but quickly realized that an app was the way to go. It also expanded to Pet cams and Nanny cams. Aaron thrived on the business side of it. The conventions, sales meetings, he loved it all.”
Beyond Control Page 11