by Desiree Holt
She certainly wasn’t about to throw herself at him. She’d watched women do that for years. No, whatever happened she was going to wait for him to take the lead. But she’d certainly be a willing participant.
She just had to keep her emotions under control. No way could she let Joe be aware of her real feelings for him. Ever. She’d never let him know she’d been in love with him all these years.
Love. Crap.
Yes, Shay. You’re in love with him. It’s your little secret, and it’s going to stay that way.
Because she knew it was pointless. He’d never see her as a woman, never have those feelings for her. It was easier just to be at odds with him. Then she’d never get hurt. Everything she’d ruthlessly suppressed over the years, that she buried behind a snarky attitude whenever she was with him, had just boiled over last night and now here she was.
God. Make up your mind, Shay. Bring it up, don’t bring it up, but quit driving yourself crazy.
For one fleeting moment she’d thought, from the look in his eyes, he might feel the same way. Yeah, right. Joe might be in lust with her, but that’s all it would ever be. Of course, she could always tell him she thought he’d turned into Joe Montana.
Yeah, right.
Dumb, dumb, dumb.
Why did life have to be so friggin’ complicated?
“Cookies?”
Joe’s voice nudged her into awareness. “Oh, yeah. Cookies. Coming right up.”
At least, she thought, it seemed like they were going to be friends instead of adversaries. Maybe she could get through his stay without letting her real feelings show, as long as he wasn’t here for too long. She was strong. She could handle it. As she plated the rest of the cookies, she swallowed a sigh. Maybe she should have stayed in New York after all.
Chapter 4
Joe turned off the shower, slid the door open, and reached for the towel he’d left on the vanity counter. The hot water relaxed his muscles and the tendons around his knee, but he was sure what he really needed was ice-cold spray. Since the first night here, when he’d given in to temptation with Shay, bringing her to climax with just his hands, he’d sported a perpetual boner. Just looking at her made his balls ache and the blood rush to his cock. He didn’t seem to be getting very far in his campaign to woo her. With each passing day—hour—he found himself wanting her more and more. What an unexpected switch. He hadn’t felt this strongly about a woman since—ever. Go figure it would be Shay Beckham who tied him in knots.
At night, his dreams were filled with erotic images of the two of them. Naked, on the king-size bed in his room. Her blond hair like a curtain of hot sunlight dusting her shoulders, her breasts lifted to him, her rosy nipples swollen and wet from his mouth. In his dreams, he felt the silken smoothness of her skin beneath his hands, the wetness of her hot pussy as he slid his cock into it. Her inner walls gripping him like a heated fist as he pumped into her. Yet when he woke up, he was still harder than a spike and had to resort to his hand for relief.
Jesus H. Christ! Where did all this come from? Her effect on him totally blindsided him, leaving him scrambling for a way to deal with it. She was the first woman ever who made him feel uncertain. Joe Reilly uncertain? His friends would kill themselves laughing if he told them that.
He didn’t know how long he could go on this way, keeping his feelings for her in check while he tried to convince her he was now a nice guy. Not that he hadn’t been nice before. At a distance now, he knew his overindulgence in female company could have created a negative image. But holy crap! He was a healthy guy with a healthy appetite. It wasn’t as if he’d fucked them naked on Main Street.
This was not going to be as easy as he’d hoped. He wanted her with a desire so fierce it shocked him. He’d just have to keep working hard to maintain his famous self-discipline if he wanted to keep a leash on himself as he worked on making her comfortable with him and convincing her he was someone she could trust. Especially making her believe his sudden craving for her went beyond just sex.
His brain was still trying to sort things out when his phone signaled an incoming text. Hank’s contact picture stared at him from the screen.
Shit!
“U and Shay doing ok?”
Yeah. Just dandy.
“All good. When will I C U?”
A long pause.
“Sorry. Client needs me. L8tr.”
Well, this message was highly unsatisfactory. Of course, it was probably better for Hank not to show up right now. He’d take one look at Joe, read his thoughts, and punch his lights out. He needed more time for Project Shay. Slow and steady, he kept reminding himself. Slow and steady.
For the past three days, he’d brought her stuff like the special cookies and a bottle of the wine she’d mentioned she liked. Taken her out for hamburgers, just something casual. Nothing to frighten her off. She seemed to be bewildered by his behavior. Confused, even. Not that he could blame her. He’d spent more than two decades looking at her as a pest and treating her like one. Now he’d experienced an unexpected awakening, a jolt of awareness that drew him to her. Convincing her of how he felt was going to be a difficult task.
Sometimes he wondered if he should just address the situation head-on. Tell her how he felt. Make a real pitch. Because this friendship thing and dropping little hints wasn’t doing a damn bit of good. He wasn’t very good at this because he just wasn’t used to it. He saw a woman, he liked her, he asked her out, and they went from there. Even in the past few years, when he’d been a lot more discriminating with his dating habits, he’d had a confidence that came easily to him. In fact he hadn’t been this uncertain since high school when he asked a girl out for the first time.
He’d already been for his run this morning. Now he had work to do on his laptop. He pulled on a pair of jeans and a Fox Sports T-shirt and fastened his watch around his wrist. Glancing at it, he realized it was almost ten o’clock. He could hear computer keys clacking in the den and knew Shay would be hard at work. He wondered if she’d eaten anything. The last two mornings he’d only seen her with coffee, so today he’d taken a detour to a bakery and picked up fresh chocolate chip muffins. The way to a man’s heart was through his stomach. Maybe it worked for women, too.
In the kitchen, he filled a mug with fresh coffee, plated two of the muffins, and carried them to the den. Any other woman would have hugged and kissed him and slobbered over him for his thoughtfulness. Shay just looked up from her computer and frowned.
“What are you doing?”
“Bringing you some breakfast. I heard you in here when I got up. I took a chance you hadn’t eaten anything yet.” He grinned, setting the mug and plate on the desk. “Gotta feed the brain cells.”
She stared at the muffin as if it might bite her.
“It’s not poisoned,” he joked. “Go ahead and taste it.”
“Thank you.” But she left it sitting on the plate, staring at it as if it might attack her. “Shouldn’t you be meeting some hot chick for breakfast? Or getting ready for a nooner?”
Shit! Were they back to that?
Joe ground his teeth and reached for his patience. He supposed this was no more than he deserved. As far as she knew, it was the same old, same old. Who was it who said our sins always come back to haunt us? He nudged the plate closer to her.
“Take a bite. Chocolate chip. Gives you energy.”
“Chocolate chip? Honest to Pete?”
“Yeah, honest to Pete. Or anyone else. Go on. Take a bite.”
A smiled teased at her mouth. She broke off a bit of the muffin and popped it into her mouth, then closed her eyes and hummed with satisfaction. “Mmm. Yum. Love the chocolate.”
Joe glanced at the computer screen. “Nice design, Shay. Can you tell me who it’s for?”
She shook her head and swallowed the piece of muffin. “I wish. In-process designs are sort of under wraps until the big unveil.”
“Even for close friends?” he teased.
She stare
d up at him. “Is that what we are? Close friends?”
“I hope so. At least to start with.” He stroked his fingers along her cheekbone, her skin silky soft beneath his touch. “Maybe I’d like us to be more, but not until I have a chance to show you who I am now. How I’ve changed.”
For a moment she sat absolutely still, studying him. A thick stew of emotions flashed in her eyes—distrust, anxiety, pleasure, uncertainty, even—yes—desire. When the snarky mask dropped in place again, he wondered if he’d misjudged his plan. Was he moving too slowly here? Damn, she was just so hard to read.
“Changed? Uh-huh.” Skepticism outlined her words even as he saw the barest flash of hope in her eyes. “We’ll see.”
“Come on, Slick, give me a break, okay?”
Her eyes widened. “Slick?”
“Yeah, I think that’s a good nickname for you. I reach out for you and you slide away from me. Slippery. Will I ever be able to catch you?”
The pulse at the hollow of her throat fluttered. She swallowed, and then slid her
tongue along her lower lip, his dick hardening at the sight. He wanted to press his
lips to hers and run his tongue over her full lower one. Was he going too slow here?
Had he lost whatever edge the other night had given him?
“If I let you, will it be okay?”
“Try it and see. I think it will.” His eyes fell on an item on her desk, a signed Joe Montana in a silver frame. “He’s a lot of competition for me to overcome.”
“You know Montana will always come first,” she teased.
He lifted an eyebrow. “Always?”
“Live with it. But thanks for the muffin and coffee.”
“You’re very welcome.”
Joe was a Montana fan, too, only right then he wanted to toss the picture out the window. Stupid idiot. At least she’d given him a very tiny indication she’d be open to “friendship.” That was a good starting place. Who knew he’d want something like this—whatever this was—with Shay Beckham. His instincts told him he’d better proceed with caution. One wrong step and they’d be back where they were before the other night. Maybe even worse. And Hank would definitely cut off his balls and roast them over an open fire.
This would require a lot more thought on his part.
Meanwhile he had a phone call to make. An edgy sensation at the back of his neck reminded him he hadn’t heard from Lisa about Gina’s job interview. The other day he hadn’t been too happy with their conversation. He reminded himself again how uneasy he’d been with her tone of voice. Lisa sounded as if she was holding something back.
He decided to take it out to the screened-in deck. For a lot of reasons, he didn’t
want Shay to accidentally overhear any of it. He wandered to a corner of the outside
deck to make his call and punched the numbers for Lisa’s cell. If Gina had screwed
it up like she’d done a few other times…
“Hi, Joe.” Today Lisa’s voice sounded friendlier, more relaxed. Maybe he’d been reading something into it when he didn’t need to.
“Hey, Lisa. Just wanted to make sure Gina was still doing okay.”
She chuckled. “Just as good as she was when we spoke the other day. I’m keeping an eye on her.”
“Job hunting going okay for her? The interviews go well?”
“Yes, they did,” Lisa assured him. “Callbacks on three of them. She seems very positive about the whole thing.”
“You can wait until she gets one of the jobs for sure before letting her know the bank is closed, okay? But make no mistake. I mean what I say.”
He didn’t think he could repeat it too many times.
“You’ve done a lot for her,” Lisa assured him. “You always have. I’ll do my best to handle it from here on out.”
“Just keep me in the loop.”
“I will. I promise.”
Still, the feeling of apprehension persisted after he disconnected the call. He didn’t need the situation with Gina to explode in the middle of everything going on—developing his relationship with Shay, meeting with coaches, and working on the fundraiser. He had too many balls in the air and he was juggling as fast as he could. Everything he was working for—had worked for—could be destroyed in a heartbeat.
* * * *
Shay saved the work on her screen, took a last sip of coffee, and picked up her cell. Earlier when Joe came into her office she’d more than half expected him to finally—finally!—bring up the other night. Was he playing some kind of game with her? The looks he gave her melted her panties, so what was with this ignoring the whole episode?
It wasn’t that she didn’t know how to act with men. She was hardly a shy virgin, for God’s sake. She’d had her fair share of dates and three somewhat serious relationships. But as secure and confident as she was in every other area of her life, she couldn’t seem to kill the tiny bit of insecurity that swept through her when she compared herself to the other women she’d seen with Joe. He seemed to go for the tall, willowy females with an air of sophistication who knew what the game was, not short women with too many curves. She was so totally the opposite.
Had she disappointed him in some way the other night? Was that it?
Could she drive herself any crazier?
What would Hank think about what was happening here? She could sure use him as a sounding board.
Hank! Was her rat-fink brother ever coming home? She typed in a text.
“When r u coming home?”
She pushed Send and waited for Hank to answer her text. Five minutes passed before her phone chimed at her.
“When I’m finished here.”
Oh, great. Swell answer.
“U have a houseguest.”
The next answer came back almost at once. “I know u can be a good hostess. It’s just Joe.”
Shay wanted to slam the phone on the desk. Good hostess. Right.
“Get ur ass home.”
She waited long minutes for an answer this time, ready to send him another angrier one when her phone chimed.
“Have fun.”
Fun? Have fun? Who the hell was he kidding? She was wound up tighter than a drum, hoping Joe would get on the stick and make his next move. More coffee, that’s what she needed. She carried her plate and mug into the kitchen and popped a fresh cup into the Keurig machine. As she was waiting for it to brew, she glanced to her left through the sliding glass doors. Joe was outside on the big deck Hank had built onto the back of the house, cell phone to his ear, one foot propped on the cover of the hot tub and his hips leaning against the picnic table as he talked.
Shay snorted. Probably one of his “babes.” She figured he was making the call outside so she didn’t hear him making arrangements for a hookup. Not that she gave a tinker’s damn…or a damn of any kind. If he was still going to be the old Joe Reilly, he could go poke his penis in any woman he wanted to.
And yet she knew, felt in her melting bones, that he’d been just as involved in it as she was the other night. Give it another shot, the devil in her head whispered. Put it out there a little more. She’d already made up her mind whatever happened she’d walk away with whatever memories she had and her pride intact.
Damn, damn, damn. Why was she making this so difficult?
The coffee finished brewing and she grabbed the mug, lifting it to take a sip. And burning her lips because of course it was scalding hot.
“Damn!” This time she said the word aloud, jerking the mug away from her mouth and sloshing some of the hot liquid over her hand.
“Hey!” The glass door slid open as Joe came back inside. “Careful there. Hot-coffee warning.”
Before she realized what he was doing and could protest, he’d removed the mug, set it on the counter, and was holding her hand under cold water. When she tried to jerk it away, he simply tightened his fingers around her wrist.
“Just another few seconds,” he told her. “To make sure you haven’t done any seriou
s damage to your delicate hand.”
“Don’t make fun of my hand,” she snapped, automatically on the defensive.
His gaze locked with hers, so penetrating she could feel it deep inside her core. “I’d never make fun of you. Don’t you know that?”
“Yeah?” She quirked an eyebrow. “Seems to me you spent a lot of years doing just that.” Ohmigod, couldn’t she just shut her mouth? This was no way to get him out of his clothes and into her bed.
But his eyes darkened, and there was no mistaking the lust flaring in those pools of polished ebony. An answering warmth surged through her, sending moisture to her panties and igniting spasms in her cunt. Holy fucking damn! Apparently her body had its own control mechanism where he was concerned. Or lack of one.
He turned off the water but held her hand for a long last moment, his thumb brushing the pulse point on her wrist. It reminded her of his touch on her body the other night.
Shay stood there, his fingers holding her, and for a moment time stood still and they were back in the mood of the other night. Joe had a stunned look on his face and she was sure hers wore a matching one. The kitchen suddenly seemed much smaller, the air in the room much heavier. She tried to draw in another breath but her lungs constricted. She looked back up at Joe’s eyes, and from what she saw, he was having the same difficulties. She wanted to wrap herself around him and press her lips to his firm, cool ones. From the look in his eyes, she guessed he wouldn’t stop her.
Then she recalled the sight of him on the deck with his cell phone and it shook her out of her trance. Joe reached for some paper towels, dried her hand, and released it. Shay turned away, pulling up the edges of her sarcastic self.
“You didn’t have to go outside to call your latest hot date.” She emptied a packet of sweetener in her coffee and lifted the mug. “It means nothing to me if you want to schedule hookups every night. Every hour, even.”
He chuckled. “You give me a lot of credit for stamina.”
“Are you saying you’re not up to it?”
He moved to stand in front of her, blocking her path. “You’d be surprised what I’m up for.” He blew out a breath. “Let’s start over here. I wasn’t making a hot date, Shay. Or any kind of date. In fact, I was hoping you’d let me take you out to dinner tonight.”