by Dana Piazzi
“He is my brother.”
“What?” I asked, more than astounded. If he was the king’s son, and if he was older than Gregory like I imagined, why was he just the prince’s advisor?
“I am Gregory’s brother. I am the king’s son. However, my mother was a servant in the castle and not the queen. I was born around the time they got married and might have had the same fate as you, becoming a servant. As much as I couldn’t be legitimate, and couldn’t be in line for the throne, the queen had a good heart. She didn’t want any family member to be cast off, so she insisted the king put me through school. She wanted me to have some sort of future.”
I couldn’t imagine how the queen would care so much about a child that was a product of her husband’s affair. “She sounds amazing.”
“She was. When my mother died, the queen felt very much like a mother to me. I know that even if Gregory has grown a little bit more egotistical since he grew up, he was raised by that same woman, and he has to have some of that goodness inside of him,” he explained.
I thought of Sebastian growing up in this world, but knowing he would never be truly part of it. How strong he was, and how it seemed he got a lot of the queen’s goodness. Even if he wasn’t truly her son. My heart skipped a beat. “What if I have strong feelings for another, though?” I asked.
He looked at me, and I could see a longing in his eyes. I also felt sure he knew I was referring to him. “Perhaps that other person is just as incapable of love as the prince. More incapable. You are too special to waste your time on someone with nothing to give you. Marry the prince.”
Sebastian walked away without a second look back. I had a feeling that he wouldn’t be spending as much time with me from that moment on.
Chapter 8
I was right. Sebastian didn’t return to the house for a week. During that week, I was stuck with servants and tutors. After dinner, I played both sides of the chess board. I had truly enjoyed learning the game, and didn’t want to give it up. I wondered if he left to kill any feelings I had for him, or if he thought I would have some epiphany that I wanted to marry the prince. If Sebastian thought I didn’t know my own mind, he was mistaken.
I knew from my time alone that I would never be happy in this castle. The servants were all pleasant and worked hard, but I didn’t picture Gregory sitting with me and talking to me. I didn’t have any friends who would come and visit. The only thing in the palace I liked had walked out, saying he didn’t return my feelings. Whether that was true or not, didn’t matter. If I couldn’t have true love; if I couldn’t have Sebastian, I would not be staying.
Each night I went to sleep, I wondered why I didn’t just leave. It was my intent from the beginning, after all. But each night I stayed to wait for Sebastian to return. Deep down, I think I was hoping he would come back and claim me. He would admit his feelings and ask me to choose him. As if it were actually a choice. I couldn’t leave without saying good-bye, so for a week, I endured the loneliness and kept working. Either he would show up or Gregory would and then I would leave. With Sebastian or without, but I prayed as I closed my eyes that it would be with him.
One night before the prince was to return, I was standing in the ballroom, waiting for my dance instructor. I had learned most rules and steps of most dances, but tonight I was going to learn to waltz. I looked at the clock again, wondering where the teacher was. He was an hour late, and I planned on leaving once I finished this last lesson. If he didn’t show up soon, I would have to go without finishing. I wanted to be out before Gregory returned home.
A noise came from behind me and I turned to find Sebastian striding into the room. “Your tutor cancelled,” he informed me.
“You’re back,” I observed happily.
He frowned. “The prince will be back tomorrow, and the day after there will be an engagement ball.”
“Is that the only reason you came back?” I hedged.
“There is much to do. I trust you have finished all your training and know all your dances.”
“Tonight I was supposed to learn the waltz.”
“You don’t know how to do the waltz?” he said anxiously.
I shook my head to let him know I did not, and he started pacing back and forth in front of me.
“Damn it!” he swore.
I could have let him off the hook and lied. After all, I wouldn’t need to know it, when I was gone. Deviously, I hoped he would offer to teach me the intimate dance. He kept pacing and mumbling underneath his breath. Finally, he stopped in front of me and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “You need to know that dance for the ball. You will dance it with Prince Gregory after he announces your engagement.”
“If I leave before the ball, I won’t need to know it,” I dangled the idea in front of him, again.
“Stop talking like that!” he shouted. He grabbed my shoulders roughly. “I will have to teach you, I guess.”
At his defeated tone, I wanted to hit him. “Is it that distasteful to have to dance with me? Am I that awful?”
“You know that’s not the truth.”
He clenched his jaw and without another word, held out his gloved hand for me to take. I pushed aside my anger and frustration and put my hand in his waiting one. He put his hand on my waist and I shivered in delight. He ignored it, of course. Then he counted off the one-two-three pace of the dance and we danced the waltz.
At first we moved stiffly around the room, his arms tense on my waist and holding me from him. He hummed a tune to keep time and I grew used to the movements. His stiff arms began to relax, and my body gravitated closer into his dance space. I listened to his song, and it stuck in my heart. I began to hum along and even made up some words.
“So this is love,” I sang along to his tune.
Abruptly, his humming and our dance stopped. I had heard the phrase, “time stood still,” but I never knew what it meant before—before the moment when he held me in his arms and my eyes met his. Nothing could compare to this moment when time and place had no meaning. The fairy godmother herself couldn’t replicate this spell. His arms pulled me closer to him until our bodies met. My hands slid up his arms and wrapped around his neck.
I gasped at the desire in his eyes, and then his lips claimed mine. For a moment, we remained in each other’s arms, our lips fused together. If I hadn’t already made up my mind before, it was official now. I wouldn’t settle for less than this. Nothing less than the passion and happiness I felt when I was with Sebastian was good enough.
“Tea is served,” a footman called from the ballroom door.
Sebastian dropped me like a hot potato. He nodded to the servant, and turned back to me. “I’m sorry,” he apologized and walked away from me once again.
“I love you!” I shouted to stop him.
He did stop and turn around, but instead of joy on his face, there was only ice. His expression was dark and cold. I wanted to back down, but I held my ground to try to save my chance at happiness.
“I love you,” I repeated, a little less loudly.
“You are marrying the prince.”
“I’m not!” I denied hotly.
“If you love me like you say you do, then marry the prince. He has been different since his mother died. Now he has a chance to be happy, and he deserves it. You will make him a better man, a happier man.”
“He doesn’t want a marriage of love and happiness. I am strictly a convenience. A pretty face to bear his children,” I argued.
“Then marry him to secure your future. It would make me happy knowing you are safe and taken care of.”
I shook my head. Nothing I was saying would penetrate his head. He might as well be blowing hot air out of his mouth, with all the good his advice made to me. I had to lay it all out on the line, and hope that he felt the same.
“You would make me happy. And I would do my best to make you happy, too. I love you, Sebastian. You are what I want, and what I need. If you don’t feel the same, it won’t change
anything. I am not marrying the prince.”
“Well, don’t think you’re marrying me,” he replied angrily. “I hesitated dancing with you earlier because I knew this would happen. I can’t deny there is an attraction between us. We have spent much time together over the last month, but I have nothing to offer you. I want your body, but I don’t want you. I will not marry you, I will not love you. Kissing you was a mistake, and I won’t make it again. Give up your childish dreams of love, and marry my damn brother.”
Chapter 9
He walked away, leaving my heart in tatters, much like my stepsisters had left my mother’s dress. This time I couldn’t cry. I numbly followed Sebastian out of the ballroom, and went to my room, skipping the tea. I packed my bag mechanically. I moved in slow motion as the world flew by. After taking only the items I came with, I sat on the bed, rubbing my arms and trying to stop the chill creeping over my body.
When night came, I tiptoed out of my room and out of the castle. I forged through the dark, not paying attention to much except the chill in the air that froze my skin like Sebastian’s cruel words froze my heart. I walked for a short time, but began to shiver so violently I couldn’t continue. At the edge of the property, at the beginning of the woods, I found a cottage. It was dark, but I hoped the walls would at least shelter me until the sun rose and warmed the air.
I walked inside the dark cabin and felt around for furniture or objects in my way. My knees bumped into something and I reached down to feel a mattress. I dropped my bag to the floor and threw myself onto the bed. The tears that had been stinging my eyes finally fell. I curled up in the cold room, and cried until I feel asleep and the tears cooled on my cheek.
I woke an unknown time later to the smell of smoke. I bolted upright in the bed and saw a fire lit in the hearth. My panic lessened just a little. At least the cabin itself wasn’t on fire. But who had started the fire, I wanted to know.
“Fairy Godmother?” I asked out loud, feeling ridiculous. Why would the cranky fairy start a fire to warm me up? I didn’t see a comment card either.
I jumped as the knob turned on the cottage door. I looked around for a place to hide, or at the very least, a weapon to protect myself. I couldn’t find either before the door opened up and a man walked in holding a log in his arms. I yelped in fear before I realized it was Sebastian.
Immediately, my eyes began to water and my chest began to ache. At that moment, I would have preferred some stranger, nice or not. “How did you find me here?” I asked, holding back my tears so he wouldn’t see me cry.
“It wasn’t hard. You left a trail of footprints in the mud,” he answered.
I looked down at my feet and saw my slippers caked in the drying, brown mess. The bed cover and the floor was full of evidence from my night time escape. “Oh no!” I exclaimed in surprise. “I’ll clean it up.” I got up to look for a mop or some linens to clean up the mess I made.
“Don’t worry about it. A little dirt won’t hurt anyone,” Sebastian said, stopping me in my tracks and leading me back to the bed.
Once I was sitting back down, he went back and threw the other log onto the fire. He sat down in the chair across the room. We sat for awhile in awkward silence. My emotions were running amok. I wanted to go over to him and ask him why he had a troubled look on his face. Part of me wanted to walk out the door, even though it was still dark outside. After a few minutes, I had to say something or I would go crazy.
“Why are you …”
I tried to ask him why he was there, but he interrupted me. He stood over me, and shouted. “Do you know how worried I was when I found out you were missing? Why did you leave like that?”
“You know why. I’ve been telling you for weeks that I would. What made you realize that I was gone?” I asked.
He looked embarrassed and lowered his head. “I went to your room to apologize for my behavior earlier.”
“You already said you were sorry about the kiss.”
“Not about the kiss. Well, not just about the kiss, anyway. I might have been a little harsh.”
“A little?” I scoffed. “You didn’t need to follow me; it’s pointless. I am not coming back, and I’m sure Gregory will find another woman he deems pretty enough to have his children one day. Don’t worry about him.”
“I wasn’t worried about him. I was worried about me,” he said with a rasp in his voice.
“Excuse me?”
“I lied, Ella. I told myself that if I even got to see you occasionally from afar, that would be enough. I just needed you to be safe. I thought if you married Gregory, I could still see you at the palace. I really thought I would be okay with that, that it would be enough. The moment we kissed, though, I knew it wouldn’t be. Then I was angry with myself for betraying my brother. We might not be as close as we were when we were kids, but he let me stay here, in the only home I have ever known. I didn’t want to repay him by taking the only woman he has ever wanted to marry.”
“He doesn’t care for me,” I informed him.
“It doesn’t matter. He chose you. And I…”
“You, what?”
“I have nothing to give you. If we decide to be together, I don’t know if Gregory will still keep me as an advisor. I don’t have a castle, but if he gets angry, I won’t even have a home. I won’t have money; I have no title. We could be cast adrift,” he admitted.
“None of that matters. I don’t need a castle, and the only home I ever had is occupied by three horrible women. I am strong, and I can work hard. Whatever happens, I can take it. As long as you are by my side, I can face anything. And if Gregory really does have a good side, as you say, maybe you can speak to that part of him and make him understand that we are in love. That is… if you are in love with me?”
“I am,” he spoke quickly. “I do love you, but this isn’t smart.”
“You need to stop thinking about this. Love isn’t a scientific equation; it’s about feeling, and emotion. Would you rather be smart or happy?” I laughed.
“Let me think about this, please. Promise me that you won’t leave. Just give me time to think.”
“If you haven’t decided by the ball, I will leave. With or without you,” I warned.
“I won’t let you leave without me,” he said.
He sat next to me on the bed and stretched out along the length. His arms drew me down next to him. Even fully clothed, lying in his arms did strange things to me. My heart beat rapidly in my chest, and I couldn’t get enough air.
“Now this is probably not smart, or proper,” I said in a breathless whisper.
“Ella, we haven’t even begun to be ‘improper’,” he said and bent his head to mine and kissed me.
It was just a brush of his lips. He didn’t linger too long, and then he kissed me on my forehead.
“Sleep now. Tomorrow we will figure out how we are going to tell the prince and where we will go, if he ousts us from his home.”
I couldn’t fall back asleep immediately, due to the quickened beating of my heart. But, eventually, the security of his arms wrapped around me lulled me into a deep sleep.
Chapter 10
Sebastian
I woke up in the morning, content with holding the woman I loved in my arms. It felt natural and peaceful, until the many worries I had about this relationship disrupted my harmony. How would Gregory react when I told him that I wanted to marry Ella instead? Was I being disloyal to him? Was I leading Ella down a path of poverty and heartbreak?
A horse whinnied in the distance and I looked out the lodge window to see the prince returning in his carriage. As careful as I could, I untangled myself from Ella and tucked the blanket around her. There was no need to wake her up from her peaceful sleep. Facing Gregory was something I should do alone.
I put my boots on and walked to the castle to greet my returning brother. He stood in his bedroom when I found him. “Your highness,” I bowed slightly.
“Sebastian, you know you don’t have to bother with tit
les,” he corrected.
“Yes, but I also know you prefer it.”
“True,” he agreed as his valet fixed his tie. “Where is my princess?”
“She is still sleeping, I believe,” I told him, omitting exactly where she was sleeping.
“Has she been made worthy of the title of Princess?”
“She was always worthy,” I said, immediately to her defense.
He gave me a droll look. I realized that I might have replied too hastily.
“She was born into this life, and she is a quick learner,” I amended.
Gregory kept looking at himself in the mirror as he was redressed after traveling. There was a glint of satisfaction in his eyes. God knew my brother had no self-esteem issues. “I need to talk to you,” I said, mustering my courage.
“We are talking.”
“No, Brother, about something serious.”
His eyes narrowed, not acting thrilled that I reminded him of our common parentage. “What is it, Brother?
“I fell in love.”
“Why are you telling me?” Gregory asked.
“I fell in love...with Ella,” I added.
A fleeting look of surprise crossed his face and then he laughed. “Oh! That is a problem, isn’t it? Well, I suggest you get over it. I am planning on marrying her within the week.” His laughter faded and he resumed looking in the mirror. “As if she would marry you, instead of a royal prince!”
“It does sound crazy. Most women would choose the wealth, the security you could offer. But, she confessed her love for me.”
This time there was no laughter, and his face turned a mottled shade of red.
“There is no reason to get angry, Brother. You don’t love her. There are dozens of attractive young women who would be honored to marry you. Let Ella be happy. Let me be happy.”
“How dare you call me brother?” he raged. “I asked you to train her, not develop feelings for her. How dare you do this to me, Brother?”