by Dana Piazzi
“Should we go?” I asked, like any other accomplished author that couldn’t put a sentence together in real life. Humphrey nodded, with a little smile playing on his lips that said he knew I was feeling completely off balance and he enjoyed it. It made me crazy, but I got Heath sorted and left the apartment, stalling at the pavement when I saw the beat up truck parked outside.
“Problem?” Humphrey asked, opening the passenger door for me.
“No, I…” I couldn’t believe it. I stared for a really long time at the chipped and battered red paint of the truck and the brand new all weather, all purpose wheels. “I had a truck just like this when I was sixteen,” I confessed.
“You? Really?” he asked, as I slid into the passenger seat. Or bench, which was exactly what it was. One long seat spread right across the front of the truck. I mentally slapped myself for the first thought that came to mind – sliding across to sit thigh to thigh with Humphrey so that every bump in the road only brought us closer.
I had to wait until he walked around and got into his seat before answering him, and by then I had brought my raging hormones completely under control.
“Yeah. It was a gift from my dad. He worked as a vet when I grew up. He didn’t get to move to the country until he retired a few years ago. Now he has his own farm,” I explained, since it seemed only fair. It seemed we were doing the whole TMI thing, anyway, so why not?
“Hmm. What kind of farm is it?” he asked, starting the truck up with a familiar, and much missed, sputter of the engine. I actually smiled and put my hand on the tattered fabric seat as I remembered all that old rust bucket and I had been through.
“Just animals, really. He’s a retired vet so he can look after them himself. He still does a few home visits to his favourite customers when he feels up to it. Mostly it’s pigs and cows, with a few horses.” I talked quietly, fading off into memories and thoughts of how much I missed my family and how I really should make more time for them. I’d forgotten until that moment just what I owed them and how close we were. “My mum runs stables, and the fees go into the care and keeping of the animals. I wrote my first published novel on that farm, when I stayed over Christmas two years ago,” I admitted.
I could almost see that little attic room, with the country quilt over the end of the double bed, the posters of my teenage boyband crushes on the eaves, and a collection of dreamcatchers just by the dormer window.
“You miss it,” Humphrey said, with a smile and a warm tone to his voice that seeped right through me. I couldn’t speak for the lump in my throat, so I nodded. Then, to my surprise, he reached across and took my hand. “You’re going to love my parents’ farm,” he claimed, looking happy about our destination. And to be honest, I was a little excited about it.
Chapter 5
The Impossible and Inevitable
Birthing a foal isn’t easy. It takes time, patience, and hands going to places that you don’t want to think about. By the time it was over, I was sitting on the straw covered floor of the barn, gazing adoringly at the newly born foal, covered in gunk that isn’t worth mentioning, right up to my elbows. Of course, I was wearing gloves, so the gunk was on them, not me. I was in such a daze, watching that little baby trying to stand up without wobbling, that I barely noticed that I hadn’t taken them off yet.
“Come on; you should eat something.” I heard that unmistakable voice of Humphrey’s. He crouched down beside me and removed the long gloves carefully before dropping them into the trash bag by his side. I wasn’t really paying attention. I was caught up in the wonders of life, and missing my parents, when he took a gentle hold of my chin and turned me to face him. “Let’s go inside,” he said, speaking softly as he reached out with his clean hands, smelling of lavender soap, to brush the tears I wasn’t even aware were falling.
When he got up and walked away, I realised what a stupid display I was making of myself. I got to my feet and checked my reflection in the compact from my bag. Not bad. No make up to run; just a somewhat healthy shine to my eyes, I noticed. My hair was messy, but not too embarrassing. I straightened it out and tied the shoulder length locks into a plait, using a hair thing I dug out of the bottom of my bag to keep it in place.
I put my bag over my shoulder and looked around to see where my date had disappeared to. I could only see his brother, Dillon, nearby, so I headed over and found him talking to Humphrey in hushed tones. As soon as they saw me, they both went quiet.
“I can disappear for another five minutes, if you want to talk some more?” I offered, sensing that something had happened that was going to be uncomfortable. Dillon opened his mouth, but Humphrey got there first.
“No. It’s fine. Come on.” He held his hand out and I took it, smiling to myself at how good a fit we were.
It didn’t quite drown out the distinct frown I noticed on Dillon’s brow, but I chose not to think about it unless it became an issue. This was just one date, after all, and I had no illusions that Humphrey would be interested in a long term relationship with a girl from the city.
“My sister’s home. She should be at school and she’s not, so Dillon’s freaking out. But Jayla’s a strong girl; she can handle herself,” he explained, as he led me into the main house and into the cosy country kitchen. I guessed there was a story in there somewhere.
“Can I meet her?” I asked, wondering if I was the real cause of the argument. Not that I’m big headed, but I always know when I’m being talked about and I sensed that I was at the heart of whatever ‘discussion’ Dillon and Humphrey had been having.
“You want to?” he asked, turning to look at me carefully. I wondered if that was the cause of the fight; somehow Jayla had heard I would be around and she had skived school to see me.
“Sure, why not?”
“You’re famous and she’s a seventeen year old fan,” he pointed out. I raised my eyebrow at that comment. Just because I was somewhat popular in my genre didn’t make me any less of a person.
“I also can’t get a date on my own, without my meddling girlfriends helping me out,” I reminded him. Humphrey actually laughed, a deeper laugh than I’d heard from him so far, and it had the most ridiculous effect on me. The sound of his laughter buzzed through every nerve in my body and I still claim to this day that I was not in my right mind. Regardless of what He Who Hovers will say.
So, like any other girl not in her right mind, in front of a guy who makes her tingle and blush and freak out like a fangirl, I kissed him. Yes, I momentarily lost my mind, as I stepped up and put my hands on those strong shoulders, gazed into those dark eyes, and had to stand on my tip toes to make our lips meet.
Shockingly enough, Humphrey kissed me back. Then, for no reason I could fathom, I was backed into the larder, the door was locked, and the hands I’d been watching all day were touching me. It was electric right from the start. I didn’t even mind being in the larder, backed into a shelving unit in the dark. It was kind of exhilarating. I’d never been kissed in a larder before.
Humphrey’s tongue invaded my mouth, and I let it. I let go of all pretence and kissed until my brain fried and I couldn’t think any more.
“Sorry,” he said when we finally parted. I opened my mouth to say he shouldn’t bother apologising for the hottest kiss in my entire life, but then he kissed me again and the point was pretty moot by then. “I get no damned privacy in this house,” he complained with a sigh. “I may as well tell you, though, that my parents are leaving to live in a retirement home by the coast. They’ve handed the farm over to me, and Jayla’s decided she’s going to stay here with me until she goes to college. If we’re going to do this, and that’s up to you, then you should know that.”
I think my heart just about jumped out of my chest. One scorching kiss and my own Mr. Perfect was actually offering me a relationship. Not a quick ‘let’s see how it goes’ thing, but one that meant I should know he was about to inherit a farm and all the chaos that came with it, as well as guardianship of his little sister.
“I understand,” was about as much as I could say with my mouth dried up. Humphrey kissed me again, delicately this time as he cupped my face in his hands. I felt like a tiny china doll in those hands, but it was the oddest thing. I had never wanted to be a fragile entity for a man to protect and care for. But in Humphrey’s hands, heck, I would let him package me up and lock me away in the attic for safe keeping if that was what he wanted.
“I’ve always had a thing for brunettes,” he said, with a little quirk to his smile that made my heart skip a beat. “So what do you say, Khloe? Is this something I should spend my time on, or should I walk away?”
For the life of me, I knew it was wrong and I knew I would probably regret it at one point in the future, but I had no self-control.
“Whatever you decide, I’m not sure I can walk away,” I confessed, confident that I would never find another man like him who would turn me into a useless pile of goo, the way that Humphrey did. “I’ve never felt anything like this before.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” He smiled, but didn’t laugh at me, so I said a little Hallelujah to myself. “But if we are doing this, then we need to talk about Ellie,” he said, before my mind could get much further into accepting that this incredible guy wanted a relationship with me. Before I could say a word, he took my hand, unlocked the larder door, and led me back into the kitchen. I was a little disappointed. Ellie was, and is, my best friend. There was no way I was giving her up, even for someone as ideal as Humphrey.
“Ellie is like a bad penny for Dillon. He’s had one night stands with her on and off for the last two years. I think there could be something good between them, but Ellie’s a flight risk and I think you know that.” He explained his problem and I was gutted. It was the first I’d heard about a potential serious boyfriend for my best friend. How was it possible? Humphrey caught a stray strand of hair from my cheek and tucked it behind my ear, keeping his hand cupped there. “Dillon can’t be happy and he can’t move on until she decides to stay or go for good. Whatever she decides, it has to be permanent. He’s waited long enough. She needs to decide, and I think you’re the only one who can talk sense into her,” he told me, shattering my image of Ellie as a good time girl.
I’d always believed there was never anyone she saw twice, but now I could tell she’d been playing me the same way she played Dillon. I worried about her. Why had she never mentioned Dillon, who seemed to be a great guy, and why had she chosen his brother as someone she thought I should date? Her choice was right on the money, but still, it seemed odd.
“So, wait a minute.”
I pushed against Humphrey’s tight abs, trying not to think about them as I put a little distance between us. I took a step back for good measure, averting my eyes from his smile and the way his eyes sparkled as if I’d done something he liked.
“Did you agree to this date so that you could ask this favour of me?” I asked, feeling just a little insulted. Humphrey just kept smiling and showing me those eyes that said he was picturing me naked.
“If I did, do you think I would have locked you in my larder?” he asked, as if he expected a real answer. But no way was I letting him get away with that.
“Don’t answer a question with another question. Did you, or not?”
“No.” He laughed, actually laughed. If I’d been capable of resisting his charms I might have been insulted. Instead, I just tried to fight off the ghostly fingers walking down my spine when I heard that laugh. “We’ve actually met before, though I know you won’t remember.” He folded his arms over his chest and leaned his hip back against the kitchen table. I was already vastly uncomfortable, but thinking that we’d met before and I couldn’t remember was bothering me. How could I not remember someone this sexy?
“We’ve met?”
“Yup. You’ve signed every book I ever bought for Jayla. You won’t remember because you were a bit of a mess.” He smiled, brushing his thumb over that full bottom lip he had. I had to mentally slap myself to drag my mind out of the gutter. “It was about a year ago. The guy behind me was snapping photos on his phone, just about blinding you with the flash. You were strong enough to suck it up, sign my books, and fake a smile through the whole thing, but you actually talked to me, so you could put the right name inside,” he explained. I felt a lot better, since I was at least off the hook for not recognising him or that sinfully low, deep voice.
“Huh. So I was blinded and chaotic and you were Mr. Composed, standing laughing at me?” I guessed, since I vaguely remembered someone having a good chuckle to himself nearby that day. I’d thought it was the paparazzi or the annoying fan. I would never have guessed it was Humphrey.
“Something like that,” he agreed, not even denying it. I wasn’t sure what bothered me more—that he didn’t deny it, or that he’d laughed at me. “I’ve had a bit of a crush on you ever since. Ellie knows that. She’s been threatening to set us up ever since Dillon told her. Not that she risked it until now. She thought you would freak out at her. When you made the deal, one guy, one night, for seven days, she convinced me to agree to it.”
My mind stalled, naturally, on the fact that someone as HOT as Humphrey actually had a crush on me. After one disastrous, stupid meeting where I probably looked a right state. It made no sense, but I wasn’t going to question it when the God of perfection from my dreams was standing there saying wonderful things about me.
“So you needed convincing?” I wondered why that sounded like a bad thing. And just why I cared. He was there, wasn’t he? He was standing right in front of me, all buff and gorgeous and tanned and strong. And I was getting distracted again.
“I needed encouragement. You are famous and you never saw me last year. Besides, Jayla keeps telling me that your ideal man is that academic cowboy from your first novel. How can I compete with that?” Humphrey kept that sure, unwavering gaze on me and it made me dizzy.
“You’re breathing.” I figured there was no harm in admitting the truth. He was real and my ‘ideal man’ book character, Delaney, was not.
“So I am.” He smirked.
“And I’m not famous.”
“You are to me. To Jayla,” he claimed, with a hint of pride in his voice.
“Do you know why Delaney is my ideal man?” I asked, deciding to be brave. I stepped over to Humphrey and managed a smile when he instantly unfolded his arms and put his hands on my hips. “It’s because he doesn’t exist. Because he’s not real and can’t distract me from my work, or my life. I’ve always been afraid that if I have a romance of my own, I might not be able to write them anymore.” I made my confession and waited to see what he would say.
“Because real life isn’t sunshine and daisies? Because a romance of your own might take the sparkle from your imagination?” he guessed. I nodded, surprised to find that he knew what I meant. Without the ability to speak, I was prepared for the kiss I was treated to.
And believe me, it was a treat. It was slow and lingering and hot. I swear, that man has magic in his lips, because every nerve in my body quivered. The touch of his tongue against mine was intense and I happily sank into his arms. It had been a heck of a long time since anyone kissed me with even half the passion of one of Humphrey’s kisses.
It was unfathomable, since we barely knew each other, but I knew there was some intense chemistry between us that defied logic.
I wound my fingers into his dark hair and welcomed each second of unadulterated bliss. I could easily imagine spending long days and even longer nights enjoying the same kisses with no interruptions. I completely lost track of time until Humphrey finally broke away. I found my arms wrapped tightly around his neck and his hands under my jumper. It could have been worse, and it could have been a whole lot better, but he was quite the gentleman, leaving his hands on my waist.
“What’s more romantic than birthing a foal together?” he asked cheekily.
It took me a few minutes to realise what he was talking about. That kiss had completely wiped
my mind, and I was not happy to have such a kiss interrupted by a very unromantic notion. Still, I couldn’t help but laugh and hit his arm lightly.
“See? That’s exactly what I’m talking about. No one wants to read about two main characters birthing a foal and getting locked in a larder for anything less than hot sex. It’s unromantic and boring,” I informed him. He really had to learn these things if he expected me to go on a second date with him.
“Really?” He raised an eyebrow at me and suddenly became much less of a gentleman, running the flats of his hands up my spine until he cupped my shoulder blades in his palms. Humphrey just smiled and leaned in to kiss the corner of my mouth. “Well, it might not have been sex, but I was sure feeling hot,” he whispered, right against my mouth.
“That’s…besides the point,” I managed to argue, lamely.
“I don’t think it is.” He brushed his lips across mine and kissed the other corner of my mouth, as if it was something he did all the time. I was on the verge of losing myself to his arms and lips again when Humphrey pulled back from me. “Why don’t we eat and you can meet Jayla? You can have a girly chat, since I’m pretty sure that’s why she came home. Just make sure you’re free around two. I’m taking you riding,” he explained matter-of-factly.
“On a horse?” I blinked and frowned. I was not riding material. Too wide hips, too large bust, and too disproportioned to be riding a horse in front of someone so finely put together as Humphrey.
“Of course on a horse.” He laughed at me, removing his arms from my body entirely and moving over to the cupboard on the other side of the room.
“I haven’t been on a horse in years,” I protested.
“Then maybe you’ll have to ride with me, until you get used to it again?” he suggested, giving my larger than average ass a comfortable pat on the way past. I was too stunned to react to his words or the pat. In fact, I was stuck on the whole riding a horse with Humphrey image in my head. I was sure it was nowhere near to what the reality would be. “Why don’t you go find Dillon and drag his butt in here for lunch?” He winked and disappeared from the room.