by Linda West
I noticed it was getting late and I wanted to get up super early to go talk to the Landers.
I manipulated the bottle cap between my thumb and forefinger and then snapped it hard. It hit the back door, ricocheted off the wall shutting off the kitchen lights, and then toppled into the recycling bin next to the sink. Two points.
My cell phone rang and it startled me. It was late. I looked down to see Lance’s handsome face on the screen.
Never again Lance.
CHAPTER 8
There are some men who come into your life that you can never forget. My fake newlywed ex-husband was not one of those men. In fact, I could barely wait to erase the memory of his lying deceiving and slightly paunchy butt. Especially after he had the nerve to trick me into marrying him on Christmas Eve in Paris, with a fake marriage certificate.
Somehow, Lance, my ex, had reasoned that the formality of legality didn’t matter when it came to the exchange of my long held and overrated virginity. Tell that to Saint Anthony. That said, there was no bringing it back now.
When I found out the falsehood that Lance had put together to fool me, I was outraged. How could he have done that to me after all we had been through together? It was a betrayal on the highest level. Literally, he planned a whole fake marriage ceremony that didn’t count? A new low even for him.
For sure I had been surprised when he flew out to meet me with his sudden wedding plans, especially after all the time I had waited for him. We’d been in a long distance relationship for two long years. The ceremony in Paris had been magic, and a big huge lie. It made no sense to me why he would concoct such a charade.
At first I just didn’t know how I could return to my hometown of Kissing Bridge with the news. I had already told my dad we were married, and goodness knows the pub news spreads fast on the mountain! Now I had to go home and explain why I was still single – officially – yet tarnished, nonetheless.
Good grief. I just prayed my father wouldn’t ask for details. I had enough Catholic guilt of my own to work on denying without my dad chiming in with his. I would never forgive Lance, and I wasn’t about to answer his phone calls.
CHAPTER 9
I came into work early the next day to talk to Ethel and Carol in person about the weird actions of Carol’s ex beau last night.
Dodie Anderson was at the counter ringing up sales. Dodie is a sweetheart, not a bad bone in her body. She’s a pretty girl with a china doll face and big blue eyes, and she is the day manager that oversees the bakery. On top of overseeing the bakery, she teaches the cooking class on Saturday mornings.
Dodie was a newcomer to the mountain, having recently moved to Kissing Bridge, but after working at the Landers Bakery she knew everyone in town by their first name. Right now she was commandeering the busy front counter with expertise, while passing orders off to the back kitchen. The place was buzzing as usual. People just couldn’t get enough of the Landers’ baked goods. I waved to Dodie as I slid past her and into the back kitchen. “Morning everyone,” I said to the crew in the kitchen, and continued on pass the myriad of ovens and bakers all dressed in white.
I found the infamous Landers sisters in the back of the bakery, both of them hands deep in dough and chatting away happily. I had to smile at the sight of them deep at work like Da Vinci and Michelangelo.
Carol was well over seventy but still a force of nature. She was tall and regal and wore her ruby red hair in an epic sized beehive, which rose an additional two feet in the air, like a red haired version of Marge Simpson.
Beside her stood her younger sister, Ethel. She was a lovely senior as well. She had ethereal blonde, nearly white hair that usually fell softly to her shoulders that was currently tucked into a neat bun. She was slight, and petite, with the prettiest soft blue eyes. She appeared very demure, but she once you got to know her...
The Landers ladies were also about as celebrity as it got in Kissing Bridge. Due to their family lineage, and their mother Izzy’s infamous recipe book – some said “spell book” – the Landers ladies had managed to win the Christmas Eve Silver Bells Cookie Contest for the last seventy years. Many believed that Izzy’s recipes held a kind of magic to the one that ingested it. Certainly the baked goods had charmed the residents of Kissing Bridge for decades.
But upon getting to know the sisters more intimately, I discovered that cooking and baking were not the Landers only gifts. The entire Landers family had talents that most of the town didn’t know about.
Unbeknownst to most of the small town of Kissing Bridge Mountain, where people prided themselves on knowing everything about everyone, the rumors of magical tendencies in the Landers’ family were completely true.
After working with the Landers now more intimately, I had learned that Carol Landers actually had some kind of superman hearing skills like the six million dollar man. She could eavesdrop on conversations from across a crowded noisy room with a 99% accuracy. Despite that you couldn’t miss her presence in any room with that tower high flaming hair, one would never suspect she could hear every word you said from a football field length away.
Ethel Landers was bequeathed with a rare gift for color. Not only did this translate into a wonderful style sense, it spilled over into near detective-like qualities of minor hue differences. Plus she had more energy than a teenager so I’m pretty sure she might have had some Dorian Gray painting hanging around her attic somewhere.
Then there was Summer, Ethel’s daughter, and a former supermodel. No one quite knew what her gift was, other than a lucky seating talent and a face to die for. Maybe that was enough for one person. But there had been rumors about her cat….
So despite things being really messed up in my personal life, at least I had a good crew of women friends. That can cure a heck of a lot. I missed my mom. And somehow the Landers ladies filled a void in me. I felt like part of a family again working with them. A kitchen can be a warzone and you make combat buddies fast and hard during a lunch rush at the height of ski season.
I got straight to the point because I have no tact.
“Hey Carol, Jackson came into the café yesterday with a group of weirdos I’ve never seen. He acted like he was going to die if he didn’t see you. I didn’t want to call and bother you at home and he seemed a little cray cray.” I made the “he’s loco” motion next to my head.
Carol looked confused. “Why would he be looking for me?”
A big hrmmph came out of her sister Ethel, and she made dramatic motions as she removed her plastic gloves covered with flour. “We’re banning him from the new cafe. I don’t want him in our new place he’s bad mojo!”
Not that anyone asked me, but I agreed with Ethel.
“Well I don’t know what he wanted, but he was pretty serious about finding you. Can’t say he is a very nice person. He was mean to his sister and I guess she came all the way here with her son to visit. They had a big fight about money.”
Carol’s dark brows rose in unison. “Sister? Well they haven’t spoken in years…I wonder what brings her here to Kissing Bridge? And with her son as well – Frankie I think it is…”
I shrugged. “It was a pretty weird day. One thing for sure is people are pretty anxious for us to open.”
I thought about Mr. Maritime hanging around out front as well. Ethel waltzed over to the sink to wash her hands.
“Thankfully we seem to be right on schedule. I see the new crockpots came in?”
I nodded. “Yep. We’re going to be the most colorful crew at the contest.”
“As planned.” Ethel tossed over her shoulder as she finished drying her hands. Carol seemed to be captivated by something in her dough bowl.
“Anyway, I’ll see you all later tonight to pick out our chili see which one of us has the best entrée for the contest!”
Ethel winked at me. She was psyched. I knew she had been secretly working on her chili recipe up at the lodge kitchen so we wouldn’t know what she was up to. I was watching that Ethel. I was pretty confid
ent my beer infused chili version would be the best, but I’d be foolish to count out any of the Landers. I eyed her up suspiciously. My beer-infused chili can take her, I thought. Ethel, you’re going down.
CHAPTER 10
The Six Pines Valley Chili Cook-Off was the biggest crockpot chili show down south of Burlington.
Bakers, chefs, and homegrown chili experts gathered from all over Vermont to compete for the blue ribbon.
By winning the big deal Six Pines Valley Chili Cook-Off we all hoped to make our mark on the lower foothills of Kissing Bridge Mountain and advertise the grand opening of the Enchanted Cozy Cafe. We had cards and coupons printed up, and obviously the best chili in the contest. Our goal was to fill the new restaurant with new customers willing to take the jaunt up the mountain for some cozy comfort food which we specialized in.
Six Pines Valley was just down the mountain from Kissing Bridge. Its streets were narrow and there were chimneys in every home, but whereas Kissing Bridge was always kissed with snow, Six Pines got the rain.
Tonight a storm lashed out over Six Pines. The pine trees that dotted the main center swayed in the heavy winds, and rain pelted down in sheets so hard it hurt. The dour climate outside, however, was the exact opposite of the warm and welcoming party of chili lovers inside the town pavilion center gym.
The center was packed with locals, and many of the inhabitants of Kissing Bridge who had made the trek to support the Landers’ new endeavor. There must have been three hundred people altogether. Upon entry, each person was given a little golden spoon, and a red paper bracelet to show they had paid to get in. The golden spoon allowed you to taste any of the wonderful chili samples that were being passed out by the contestants.
I had learned about wine in Paris (by learning I mean drank a lot of it) and I can tell you no vino can beat good old Vermont mountain home brewed beer – especially when it came to making homemade finger licking good chili. And that deep dark specialty beer was our secret ingredient. Thanks to Earl Elkins’ homebrew, added to Grandma Izzy’s original smoke–infused, long hours simmered crockpot concoction recipe –my chili had been chosen to represent the Enchanted Cozy Café!!!
(I told you about that French liquor thing being the magical dove up my sleeve.)
We were so packed at our booth we could barely keep up. We were passing out cards and coupons left and right. I was certain we had the lock on the blue ribbon. After all, the chili was based around Grandma Izzy Landers’ original recipe we had just perked up a bit -so we kind of had the win in the bag. I did mention the magic right?
Ethel, Carol, Dodie, Summer, and I donned matching uniforms, as did every team competing. We wore jeans, and our tiffany blue t-shirts emblazoned with the Enchanted Cozy Café in shiny silver thread. All in all we had five crockpots bubbling at our table, and a crowd of chili lovers pushing through to get our samples. The crowd at the Six Pines Valley Chili Cook-Off was LOVING US! I couldn’t help but smile. This was turning out to be a good time, and it looked like we were the crowd favorite.
When one of the judges waddled up to try a sample and I saw the look of love on his face – I knew we were going to win. It was six o’clock and the contest would be over in an hour. We were serving up our chili so fast we could barely keep up.
I noticed Jackson Jennings pushing up to our booth with his weirdo Goth attired girlfriend -the Poodle. His face was redder than usual. I had heard he had a house here in Six Pines but I hadn’t expected to see him tonight. He was aggressively shoving people away from the front of the booth as he made his way toward the front where Aunt Carol was stationed, all the while still tugging the skinny girl.
He finally broke his way to the front of the booth, and demanded a sample, all the while eyeing up Carol. I had heard from Ethel that Jackson was used to getting his way because he had about as much money as God. Oil man.
Rumor was he’d gotten lucky and found oil under his old family homestead. His money made him cantankerous and he was already pretty unlikeable. He had what I refer to as ‘resting b…. face. Even relaxed his face made an angry look like he had smelled something bad. He had that kind of face. People in Kissing Bridge were kind, so everyone was nice to him, but only Earl really got along with him and that was based more on their love of good cigars and tough ski runs. Ethel made a face at Jackson as she slid out from behind our booth. “Watch my pot for me darling I have to run quick and visit the powder room.”
Now, the cantankerous octogenarian with bright white hair, was screaming and making a spectacle of himself waving a fifty dollar bill around Carol’s crockpot and yelling, “What’s it take to get some service around here?”
Humph. I’d give him service all right…
But Carol didn’t have time for her old wandering beau, and ignored his attempts to get her attention with his money waving bloviating self. She was too busy for his antics. Winning the chili Cook-Off was serious business.
I looked at the masses of chili lovers hovering around our table with gleeful faces. At this rate we would run out of chili before the contest was over, and that wouldn’t leave a good taste in the judges’ mouth.
I thought it was time to alert Aunt Carol that we better get the backup crock pots from the van, and start warming them up because we needed to get some more chili going. The Landers always kept backups for everything because they’d been around long enough to know stuff happens in baking.
Carol was barking out orders to us girls behind the booth like Patton to his troops. I abandoned my crockpot post, and hastened over to explain our dilemma to the General.
“We’re all running low. We need the backups crockpots of chili in the van.” I said breathlessly.
Carol’s alert blue eyes darted down the line of crockpots taking in the dilemma of the dwindling chili supplies. Summer and Dodie were spooning up samples from their colored crockpots as quick as they could. All the pots were nearly empty.
Carol nodded with a sharp curt movement that made her large red beehive tilt over like the tower of Pisa. “I’m on it. Tell Ethel to follow me when you she comes back from the bathroom, I can’t carry all three of them and I need you here to fend off the over zealous chili eaters. Summer’s too much of a softie. One to a customer that’s it, got it?”
“Got it.”
With that she grabbed her coat and sped towards the back door of the pavilion center. I stood on my tiptoes attempting to spot Ethel over the crowd as more and more people swarmed into our booth for more of our chili.
All of the Enchanted Cozy Café coupons had been snatched up as well. Looks like the word about the upcoming grand opening had gotten out! I could see our popularity was not lost on the contest judges who kept staring over at the masses around our table. It seemed certain that the Landers were going to be taking home another culinary blue ribbon – crockpot chili style.
Obviously, then, I wasn’t at all surprised that we made the finalists in the Six Pines Valley Chili Cook- Off contest.
But the whole murder thing…
Well, I never saw that coming.
CHAPTER 11
We’d been waiting ten minutes and neither of the Lander sisters had shown up with the backup crockpots. I told the girls I better go check the van. Maybe they needed help.
Dodie moved over to Ethel’s pot and Summer switched over to Carol’s. I poked my head out the back door trying to spot Ethel or Aunt Carol. There was the van, but no seniors. I went back inside, and muscled my way through the crowd towards the powder room.
They weren’t there either.
I made my way to the front door of the pavilion center. Earl Elkins, lean and tall like an old Marlboro man, and newly married to Ethel Landers, stood outside the front door staring at the sky and looking about aimlessly. Maybe he was wondering where Ethel was too? I called out to him through the door.
“Earl! Hey Earl!”
His piercing grey eyes turned as he heard his name float over the wind. I waved. He waved back. The rain had stopped a mo
ment, and now his breath came out in frozen clouds. I yelled to him from the door.
“Earl, have you seen Carol or Ethel? We need those backup crockpots with the chili now!”
Earl looked concerned. He took a step towards me. “No, I was just out here talking to Jackson and he just went to grab a Cuban cigar to –”
He looked off down the way presumably towards Jackson’s house and then walked up to me. He shivered a bit and shook off his jacket. “What did you say? You need something out of the van?”
I nodded and explained about the backup crockpots and how we were running out of chili, and I didn’t have the keys for the van. He was a good six foot four inches tall so he scanned the packed room from above like an eagle scouting for the two sisters.
“There’s Ethel!” He pointed towards the judges’ table. The thin Spanish looking judge had Ethel deep in conversation. Ethel kept looking over her shoulder. She knew we were nearing the finish line, but she obviously couldn’t be rude to one of the judges and just walk away.
I grabbed Earl.
“Go save your wife and get those backup crockpots or we’re doomed! Carol says the last moments before the contest judging are the most crucial. People tend to remember the most recent chili they tasted. Go!”
Earl was smart enough not to question anything regarding cooking and the Landers. He hastened his way through the crowd. “Excuse me. Pardon me. Hello Cyrus nice to see you. Excuse me.”
Thank goodness for Earl, he was going to get Ethel and meet Carol to help with the backups and protect our potential blue medal ribbon.
CHAPTER 12