Close. Too close. The years of pressure to live up to the DeMille’s impossible standards and her own had taken its toll. Lacey had an ulcer—the only question was how bad. If she let it go too far, it could kill her.
Her doctor had told Dev that he’d tried to warn her, tried to find a way to get her help. She’d refused any sort of medication, denying that she’d been a bundle of nerves for years.
Then her doctor had told him that Lacey was to be kept calm at all costs. He’d agreed, after Dev had explained in confidence about the shocks Lacey had sustained, to call the DeMilles and ask them to stay away until Lacey asked for them.
He’d also made it very clear that Dev himself was on probation, warning that he’d have Dev barred from her room if he upset her.
Dev had called Murphy first, to ease the old man’s mind. Then he’d called Maddie and explained the whole sorry situation. It was a credit to Maddie’s compassion that she hadn’t told him to go to hell, especially since he still couldn’t promise her that Lacey would want to see any of them.
Maddie had said they’d be in Houston by nightfall. She’d agreed not to push it, to bide their time. She seemed to recognize that the trip could be for nothing, but she and Boone insisted on being there, just in case. Mitch and Perrie were in Dallas buying clothes for their wedding and honeymoon, but she would leave word for them to follow.
Now as he strode toward Lacey’s room, however, Dev’s only thought was for her. What he would say, how he could ever make it up to her for all the anguish.
He slipped inside quietly and crossed to the bed. They’d warned him that she would be dopey—but she would be relaxed. Very relaxed. He never wanted to see her in that kind of agony again.
Dev studied her as she lay there so still. Her hair was a mess, mascara was smudged beneath her lashes, and her lips were unpainted.
He’d never seen a more beautiful sight in his life.
He wanted to touch her desperately, but she needed rest. With trembling fingers, he brushed faintly over her hair.
All of a sudden, everything blurred. Dev squeezed the bridge of his nose and fought the memories.
He’d hurt her so badly. Even if she forgave him, he wasn’t sure he’d ever forgive himself. To the end of his days, he’d be haunted by the look of betrayal on her face.
Dev moved away from the bed, away from temptation. He’d keep watch—he’d guard her with his life, if needed. But he’d forfeited all rights to anything more when he’d lied to himself as well as to her.
She was more than a job. More than a duty to friends. More than a challenge—more important than any revenge.
Too late for it to matter, Dev realized that Lacey was simply…everything.
Lacey tried to escape from the dream but the darkness enveloped her…surrounded her with mournful sobs and lonely sighs. She was lost, forever. Alone. Afraid. She searched in vain, reaching out with fingers that could touch nothing. Eyes that could not see.
At the edge of the forest she saw the glimmer of strawberry blonde hair. Christina’s eyes begged her, but the crone’s claws stole her away, lost forever among the menacing dark trees.
You can’t have her…you’re no one…you don’t exist. Phantom voices chanted. Shrill laughter split the air.
Off in the distance, she saw a man on a black charger, racing her way. Lacey tried to run to him, knowing he would help her, but the gnarled limbs of the trees trapped her.
Revenge…sighed the wind, curling around her ankles, sliding up her spine, chilling her to the bone.
The man and the horse neared, and Lacey cried out—
A hand clapped over her mouth, rendering her mute. Revenge…he only wants revenge…he doesn’t want you.
Lacey clawed her way through the branches, certain that only he could help her, only he could save Christina. Only he could tell her the path—
The man raced closer, his green eyes dark and haunted.
Help me, Dev—
The hand muffled her screams.
And then Dev vanished.
Dev jerked awake in the chair, trying to figure out where he was.
Hospital. Lacey.
Then she moaned again. “Dev—”
He was on his feet in an instant.
Her head tossed from side to side. “Christina—help me. Don’t leave. Dev, don’t—”
“Shh,” he murmured, taking her hand in his. “It’s all right, Lacey. It’s just a dream. You’re okay.”
Her lashes fluttered, then closed. Slowly, like a curtain, they rose. “Dev?” She gripped his hand like it was her last hope.
He smiled. “It’s all right. You’re in Methodist Hospital. They’re going to take good care of you.” With one hand, he brushed the hair on her forehead. “How do you feel?”
Lacey frowned. “Hospital? Why—” She shook her head as if to unscramble her senses.
“They gave you something to make you sleep. That’s why you feel groggy.” He gripped her hand and resisted the urge to scoop her up and hold her tightly. “Sweetheart, you came so close. Too close.” He heard the roughness in his voice. “They’re going to run tests tomorrow, but you can’t keep ignoring this. You’ve got an ulcer, and you’re in danger.” He brushed her cheek. “You scared the hell out of me.”
He saw when she remembered. All of it. Her grip slackened.
He stepped back, let her hand go. Closed his mind to foolish dreams.
Lacey struggled to catch up. “Where are my—where are Charles and Margaret? Do they know?”
He nodded. “Your doctor asked them to stay away until you could decide whether or not to see them.” He turned away. “I’d better go tell the nurse you’re awake.”
Lacey watched Dev’s face close up, heard the politeness in his tone. So remote. Almost a stranger now.
She wanted to grasp his hand again and hold on tight. He seemed the only thing familiar in her world.
Then she remembered what he’d said before she’d collapsed. Remember the bitter disappointment on his face. Don’t lie to me…don’t lie to yourself. I begged you to come with me. You chose them.
She hadn’t had the courage to reach out for what she wanted then. Now she didn’t know what she wanted.
Except some answers.
“Why, Dev?” she asked quietly. Why did you do it? Why did you lie?
He halted at the doorway, turning back slowly. “Why what?” But she could see in his eyes that he knew what she was asking.
He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter now.” Resignation darkened his tone. “All that can matter now is that you get well.” He pulled open the door and left.
There was nothing he could do for her that would ever make up for the havoc he’d wreaked in her life, but Lacey’s nightmare ramblings had shown him one way to make amends.
Christina. The little girl Lacey wanted to adopt. Dev might not be able to put Lacey’s old life back to rights, but he could give her the ammunition to make a new one, if she still wanted it.
It was hard to leave her behind, but the doctor had already made it clear that the tests they would run on her would take most of the day and he was not welcome.
It would be Dev’s self-imposed penance to be at hand as much as possible until she was released. Right there to watch how she suffered and be able to do little or nothing to change it.
But Dev needed to do something constructive. He stopped by Connor’s apartment to shower and change, then got on the phone and started working.
Three hours later, he alighted from his car in front of a modest home. Christina’s social worker, Louise Wardlow, was waiting on the porch.
“Mr. Marlowe, I don’t have to tell you that you’re an angel in my book. What you’ve accomplished in one morning would have taken us weeks—if we could ever get the time at all.” Her wise brown eyes gauged him carefully, despite her words. “You mind telling me why you’re doing this?”
Dev shrugged. “Let’s just say that I owe Lacey and leave it at that.”
/>
The brown eyes didn’t leave his. “Why do I think there’s a lot more to the story? You got the look of a man with some worries.”
“If I do, they’re no one’s fault but my own.” He nodded toward the door. “Thank you for letting me meet Christina.”
“I like the look of you, Devlin Marlowe. I think you’re a man who can see past the surface. Christina’s heart is a good one. Her face doesn’t change that.”
“Lacey cares about her. That’s all I need to know.”
She put one hand on his arm as he headed toward the door. “Is Lacey going to be all right?” All she knew was that Lacey was in the hospital.
“I hope so,” he said grimly. “She’s got to ease up on herself.”
“Ain’t that the truth? That girl’s too sensitive for work like this, but she’s sure good with the children. Just eats her up inside.”
“Mrs. Wardlow—”
“Louise, hon. We’re already way past that.”
Dev grinned for the first time in hours. “Louise, if Christina wants to go, do you think she could visit Lacey? Lacey’s worried about her.”
The woman patted his shoulder. “We can do that. Lord knows where I’ll fit it into my schedule, but I will make time for that. Christina needs to see her, too.”
Dev nodded. “Thank you.” He pulled open the screen door and held it for her.
Once inside, Dev glanced around the worn but spotless house. Toys were scattered everywhere and the furniture was shabby, but the place smelled clean and every surface was covered with pictures of children.
Foster parents were surely one of the world’s kindest blessings. To take a child not one’s own and care for that child fully, knowing you might have to give the child up in a matter of days or months, required a special kind of human being.
“Hello.” The woman who greeted them was small and rounded, her hair caught carelessly back in a plain rubber band. Dev saw kindness in her eyes. “I’m Helen Carpenter.”
The social worker spoke first. “Helen, this is Devlin Marlowe. He’s helping us on Christina’s case.”
“Thank you for seeing me, Mrs. Carpenter.”
Her smile was warm but her gaze worried. “You’re here to meet Christina?”
Dev knew he could only put them at ease by his actions, not his words. “Yes, ma’am. Please.”
Around the doorway, a strawberry-blonde head appeared. Huge dark eyes followed. Slowly and shyly, the little girl made her way into the room.
Dev lowered himself to his heels and smiled. “Hello, Christina. Lacey’s told me a lot about you.”
She studied him carefully. Dev didn’t try to avoid her uneven features. He looked at her, straight on.
There is nothing so discerning as a child’s impulse toward honesty. “Did she tell you my face is crooked?”
His heart filled. “Yes.” He continued in a neutral tone. “My face is crooked, too. See my nose?” He pointed toward the bump.
“Did somebody hit you, too?” she whispered.
At that moment, Dev would have liked to tear the guy limb from limb. How anyone could harm a child—
“Yep.” He nodded. “You know what else Lacey told me?”
Christina took another step toward him. “What?”
“She told me about your beautiful heart. Crooked faces can be fixed, you know, but ugly hearts never mend. Looks to me like you’ve got what’s important.”
The little girl cocked her head and studied him. Finally, she spoke up. “Is Lacey going to be all right?”
I hope so. God, I hope so. But Dev didn’t voice his worries. “She’d feel better if she could see you. Mrs. Wardlow says she would take you, if it’s all right with Mrs. Carpenter.”
Christina leaned over and whispered, “Hospitals are scary.”
Dev hadn’t thought about that, about her past experiences. “Lacey would understand if you didn’t want to come.”
The big brown eyes looked conflicted. “Would you be there?”
“Would you want me to?”
Blonde curls bounced. “Please.”
Dev held out his hand. “It’s a deal.”
Lacey lay back in the bed, drained from the day’s exhausting round of tests. Her doctor’s warnings still rang in her ears.
I don’t care if you have to walk away from every person you know, young lady. You have to get squared away inside yourself. Diet, rest and medication will help, but they’re only bandages on the wound. What you really need is to change your life so you’re not so wound up all the time, trying to please everyone but Lacey.
You won’t be so lucky next time. You’ve never seen a patient die before your eyes from a bleeding ulcer, but I’m telling you, that’s where you’re headed. Whatever is going on in your life, you make peace with it. Do you hear me?
Not so easy. But he was right—it was time for some choices.
Someone knocked on the door.
“Come in,” she answered.
Dev poked his head around. “Is this a bad time?”
She wanted to banish this Dev forever, the one who was so polite, who had lost all devilment in his eyes. “No. I think they’re through poking and prodding.”
He walked inside, casting a quick glance behind him before the door shut. “What did the doctor say?”
“You want the whole lecture or just the highlights?”
His quick grin touched something deep inside her. If only his eyes matched it. “I might need some pointers for my own lecture.”
She tried to smile at him, wanting so badly for him to come closer, to be the reckless Dev who’d dare anything. “Go ahead. I’m beaten into submission already.”
He scanned her face. “You look tired. I can come back.” He made as if to turn.
“No—please. Stay.”
Dev settled into an uneasy stance. The silence between them was awkward as never before.
“Dev, I—”
“I have a surprise—” Both spoke at once.
“Go ahead,” he gestured.
“No, that’s okay—a surprise?” Then she pulled herself back just a fraction. “What is it?”
“I think you’ll like it.”
“All right.”
Dev moved toward the door and pulled it open. A beloved blonde head peered from behind him.
“Oh, Christina—” Joy leapt inside her.
Christina reached for Dev’s hand and glanced at him for reassurance. He nodded, and walked her to the bed. Louise Wardlow stepped into the room, nodding at Lacey and smiling widely.
Lacey returned the nod, but quickly shifted her gaze to the little girl.
“Dev said you wouldn’t be so sad if I would come see you,” Christina offered.
Dev, was it? How had this happened? She shot a quick glance at him, but his face was impassive. Lacey leaned down and tried to lift the girl. Dev picked her up and settled her on the bed beside Lacey.
Barely able to see past her tears, Lacey nodded. “I’m so happy to see you. I feel better already.”
“Want a hug?”
“More than anything, sweetie.” Lacey gathered the little girl into her arms, squeezing her eyes shut in thanksgiving. She opened them and tried to express to Dev silently what this meant. For one second, joy flared in those green eyes she treasured, then his face settled into remoteness again.
Lacey tried to push away her desolation and concentrate on the child. They began to talk.
Too few minutes later, she felt her strength waning. Christina chattered on, happily oblivious.
“Hey, muppet,” Dev said. “I think it’s time for Lacey’s nap.”
Louise spoke up. “I’d like a minute with Lacey first, please.”
She and Dev exchanged glances. He held out a hand to Christina. “How about you and I go see if we can scare up some ice cream?”
“Yippee!” Christina started to scoot off the bed, then stopped. “Sleep tight, Lacey.”
Lacey gathered her in. “I will, sweetie. Thanks
so much for coming to see me. I know hospitals aren’t your favorite place.”
“But Dev told me that it would make you feel better and that he’d be with me the whole time.” Hero worship shone in her gaze.
So Dev was here for Christina’s sake. Lacey couldn’t be jealous of a child so in need of care. “He was right.” She kissed Christina’s cheek and helped her down. “See you soon, okay?”
Christina skipped over and grasped Dev’s hand. “Okey dokey!” She turned her face up to him, eyes glowing. “Ready for ice cream?”
Dev grinned. “Always.” With a quick nod toward Lacey, he ushered the child outside.
Louise shook her head fondly. “He’s good with her. Really good.”
“He half-raised his own siblings, I think.”
“Still, he handled her just right. Didn’t look away from her, didn’t give her pity. Just treated her normal, which is all the child wants.” The older woman gazed steadily at Lacey. “A woman could have a good life with a man like that.”
Lacey flushed. “I don’t think that’s in the cards, Louise.”
“Not good enough for you, society girl?”
Lacey’s temper flared. “I don’t see that it’s any of your business.” Immediately, she was ashamed. What did Dev call it? Princess to peasant? “I’m sorry. Things are…complicated.”
“Man-woman stuff generally is, hon. None of it comes easy. But a man like that, a smart woman figures out how to keep him. Especially after all he did.”
“What do you mean?”
Louise settled a large brown envelope in her lap. “All the proof you could want that Christina’s aunt isn’t good parent material. Seems the woman’s got some brushes with the law, some real bad habits and some very unsavory friends. Nice courtin’ gift, I’d say.”
Lacey clasped the envelope in her hands and ducked her head, blinking back tears. “We’re not courting,” she whispered.
“Hmmph—fat lot you know. You’re not watching that man’s face when he’s looking at you and thinks nobody’s paying attention. He’s got it bad, girl. Whatever it is that’s gone wrong between you, there’s plenty of feelings there to tide you over.”
Texas Heroes: Volume 1 Page 50