by Joan Jonker
‘Why didn’t yer come to the house to tell me?’ Lily asked, still wearing a beaming smile. ‘Or is it all cloak and dagger stuff?’
‘I have to talk to yer, Lily, and I don’t think yer’d appreciate hearing what I’ve got to say in front of yer family. So shall we walk down the entry to the main road, save being seen? Yer know what yer mam’s like for standing at her front door.’
As they walked down the cobbled entry their two minds were having very different thoughts. Lily was thinking it was either a joke, or Mrs Bennett wanted to tell her something about the wedding, while Molly was worrying how her mate’s daughter was going to take it.
Just before they reached the exit to the main road, Molly put a hand on the girl’s arm. ‘Can we stop here, Lily? I don’t think we’ll be disturbed.’ Molly couldn’t control her shaking hands, so she folded her arms and tucked them under her armpits. ‘Before I start, I want yer to know I’m the only one who knows what I’m going to tell yer. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever had to do in me life, sunshine, and I hope yer don’t hate me for it. But because ye’re like one of me own family, I’d hate meself if I didn’t tell yer.’ She closed her eyes and let out a sigh of sadness and weariness. ‘It’s about Len.’
As Molly talked, she saw the girl’s face draining of colour and decided it wasn’t necessary to tell the full story, a shortened version should be sufficient. So she explained that it was by a strange coincidence she met someone who knew Len. They told her his parents were nice, decent people and he came from a good home. Then, before she lost her nerve, she went straight on to tell of the girl Joan, and the baby she said had been fathered by Len.
Lily went as white as a sheet and fell back against the wall. Her lips were moving but no words would come, and her eyes were beseeching Molly to tell her all this wasn’t true.
Molly felt terrible. Fancy standing in an entry with a girl she’d known since the day she was born, and telling her these awful things about the boy she was courting. ‘I’m sorry I’m the one having to tell you all this, but no one else knows and I couldn’t stand by and do nothing.’
Lily ran her tongue over her lips, and when she spoke her words were barely audible. ‘Is this all true, Auntie Molly? There’s been no mistake?’
‘I wish to God it wasn’t true, sunshine, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t. D’yer really think I’d do something like that to you? I’ve been out of me mind for a week now, wondering what to do for the best.’
‘And me mam doesn’t know?’
‘No, sunshine, I haven’t told anyone.’
‘I don’t believe what yer said about the baby, Auntie Molly, because it can’t possibly be Len’s. He only came out of the army a few weeks ago.’
‘He was going out with her before he was called up. And they were writing to each other while he was away, until she wrote and said she was expecting a baby. Then his letters stopped, and when he came home he said the baby wasn’t his. But the girl is adamant he’s the father and is chasing him. There’s trouble brewing, sunshine, and I wanted to put you on yer guard. It’s your life, and yer have to decide for yerself what to do. But if yer take my advice, yer’d be well out of it.’
‘The person yer were talking to, how do they know all this?’
‘They’re neighbours of the Lofthouses in Tetlow Street. The only reason it was mentioned is because a young unmarried girl having a baby is bound to cause gossip. But they know nothing about you. I just listened and said nowt.’
Lily moved away from the wall and squared her shoulders. The colour was slowly returning to her cheeks and when she spoke her voice was stronger. ‘I’m on me way to meet him now, so I’ll see what he has to say for himself.’
‘Are yer sure yer feel up to facing him?’
‘I’m sure, Auntie Molly. I want to ask him to his face, and if he’s telling me lies I’ll soon know. If what yer said is all true, he’s certainly taken me for a sucker with his hard luck tales about coming from a bad home, and how he was saving up for us to get married. But I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt until I’ve spoken to him. It wouldn’t be fair not to hear his side.’ Lily touched Molly’s arm. ‘Don’t look so worried, it’s not the end of the world. And yer were right to tell me. I’m not going to say I don’t care whether it’s true or not because that would be a lie. I’ve known him for two years, and I’d be devastated if we split up. I’d probably cry me eyes out for weeks, but I don’t think many people of my age die of a broken heart, do they?’
‘No, they don’t, sunshine.’ Molly cupped her face and gazed into troubled eyes. ‘If yer need anyone to talk to, yer know where I am.’
‘Don’t tell me family, will yer?’
‘That’s one thing yer don’t have to worry about. Now be on yer way, and the best of luck.’
There were tears in Molly’s eyes as she watched Lily turn into the main road and disappear from sight. Once again she asked herself had she done the right thing, because the poor girl must be feeling in a right state. With her head down, she walked back down the entry. Of course I’ve done the right thing, she told herself, there was no question about it. What would have happened if that girl, Joan, found out where Lily lived and confronted her on the McDonoughs’ doorstep? There would have been ructions then, with the whole family getting involved while the neighbours learned enough gossip to keep them going for weeks. Lily would never have been able to hold her head up in the street again. It wouldn’t have embarrassed Nellie because she didn’t embarrass easily. But she would be very angry for her daughter and create merry hell.
Molly passed the corner shop but kept her eyes averted. She didn’t want to be asked any questions and had no intention of ever talking about it to anyone. Except Jack and Corker, they would have to be told. A sigh came from deep within her. She didn’t like telling lies and she’d told Lily quite a few about where she got her information from. But she’d done it with the best of intentions. At least when the girl met her husband or Corker, she could look them in the face without feeling ashamed or humiliated.
Jack put his paper down when he heard the key in the lock and his eyes were on the door when Molly came in. ‘I expected yer before this, love. I was beginning to get worried.’
Molly glanced towards the kitchen. ‘Where’s Ruthie?’
‘She went over to Bella’s for a game of snakes and ladders. I told her to be in for nine o’clock. And the other three are out, too, so we’ve got the house to ourselves. Tell me how yer got on?’
Molly slipped out of her coat and threw it on the couch before sinking into a fireside chair. ‘Jack, I wouldn’t go through that again for all the money in the world. When I was looking into Lily’s face and telling her her boyfriend was a two-timing rotter, I felt like the wicked witch. And I didn’t tell her everything, not about him stealing and all the other things. I felt bad enough telling her about the baby.’
‘Did she ask yer how yer found out?’
‘She didn’t ask too many questions about that, thank God! I told her it was by pure coincidence I got talking to this person who lived in Tetlow Street and she happened to mention the name Lofthouse. The woman didn’t know who I was from Adam, but she was a gossip and there’s nothing a gossip likes more than a young unmarried girl having a baby. That was the gist of it, Jack, and I just pray she doesn’t ask for more details because I’ve told enough lies as it is. I keep telling Nellie she won’t get to heaven, but the way I’m going I won’t have much chance, either!’
‘What d’yer think she’ll do?’
‘I don’t know. She was going to keep her date with him and ask if it’s true about the baby. I think he’ll deny it, so it’s a case of whether she believes him.’ Molly kicked her shoes off and sighed with relief as she wiggled her toes. The shoes were on their last legs but they’d have to do until she bought new ones for the wedding. ‘Lily isn’t as boisterous as Steve and Paul, but she’s all there and I don’t think she’ll be taken in by him. I just hope anger comes b
efore the tears because anger can rid yer of a lot of pent-up emotions. But the ball’s in her court now, there’s nothing else we can do.’
‘Yer look all in, love, and I’m not surprised. I couldn’t have done what you did.’ Jack left his chair to give her a hug. ‘I’ll make yer a nice cup of tea, then I’ll fetch a bowl of warm water and yer can soak yer tired feet.’
‘Is that me consolation prize, sunshine?’
‘Is it hell! I’m yer consolation prize.’
‘Oh no, you’re the star prize that I won over twenty-five years ago. And if we live another twenty-five years, yer’ll still be me star prize.’
Molly lifted a finger when she heard a knock. ‘This must be Ruthie, she’s dead on time. Not a word about what we’ve been talking about because yer know she can’t keep anything to herself.’
‘I’m not soft, love!’
‘I know that, sunshine! Haven’t I just said that in the lottery of love I won the star prize?’
Chapter Eighteen
Even though she knew she was very late, Lily didn’t walk as quickly as she would have done any other night. She wanted to collect her thoughts and calm her rapid heartbeats before facing Len. Nothing would be gained by allowing her temper to take over and starting a row before she’d heard what he had to say. A tiny voice in her head was telling her that her Auntie Molly wouldn’t have said such things if there wasn’t a grain of truth in them. But she didn’t want to believe them, so she ignored the tiny voice. She was hoping with all her being that when she confronted him with the story, Len would laugh and say it was a load of rubbish, and that whoever was spreading this rumour had got him mixed up with another bloke.
Len saw her approaching and came out of the shadow of the wall to meet her. ‘What the hell time d’yer call this? I was nearly giving up and going home! We’ll have missed half of the big picture by now.’
‘I don’t want to go to the pictures,’ Lily said, keeping her voice even. She wanted to stay cool so she could question him in a conversational sort of way. But she was hurting so much inside she wanted to blurt it out so he could deny it and chase away the hurt. It would take just a few reassuring words from him to ease the pain. But caution overruled her heart. What if Auntie Molly was right? She would rather know the truth than carry on in ignorance. ‘There’s something I want to ask yer, so let’s go for a drink.’
‘I don’t want to go for a drink – yer know I hate the pubs around here.’ There’d been no smile of welcome on Len’s face; he looked like a spoilt child who hadn’t got his own way. ‘Let’s go to the flicks like we said.’
The first warning bell sounded. Why would he never go in any of the pubs around here? They were no different to pubs in any other part of the city. Was it too near his home and he was afraid of being seen? ‘I’ve told yer I don’t want to go to the pictures! I want to talk to yer, and a picture-house is no place for that.’
‘What the hell have yer got to talk about that is so important? Why can’t it wait?’
‘Because I say so! I’m always giving in to yer, doing what you want, but tonight is different. We’ll do what I want for a change.’
‘Then let’s take a tram or bus to the Prince Albert, by Walton Hospital. I don’t fancy going in one around here.’
But even though her heart was pounding, Lily stood her ground. She pointed across the road. ‘See that pub on the corner? Well, that’s where we’re going, Len, whether yer like it or not.’
His lips curled. ‘Considering yer’ve kept me waiting for three-quarters of an hour, it’s a bit much to start throwing yer weight around, don’t yer think?’
‘If yer want to look at it that way, I suppose it is. But I’d say it’s because I’m fed-up being told where we’re going without having a say in the matter. Most boys ask their girlfriends where they want to go. And they usually get a kiss, when all I get is a snarl and sarcasm.’ Lily walked to the edge of the pavement. ‘If yer’d rather go to the pictures, then you go. But me, I’m going over there for a port and lemon.’
Len didn’t believe for one second that she’d really go off and leave him in the lurch. And girls didn’t go into pubs on their own anyway – it just wasn’t done! But when he saw her look both ways before stepping off the kerb, he knew she was in earnest and this was one time he wasn’t going to get his own way. She had never defied him like this before and although he wasn’t very happy about it, he quickly followed and caught up with her halfway across the road. ‘I don’t know what you’ve got to be in a temper about, it’s me what’s been hanging around waiting for yer.’
‘Who said I was in a temper?’
They’d reached the pavement by now, and Len put his arm around her waist. ‘Come on, what’s upsetting yer?’ His voice was soft and coaxing. ‘Tell me all about it and I’ll give yer a kiss and make it better.’
But this time his smooth wheedling didn’t work. Until she knew the truth, Lily didn’t want him near her and she moved away from his arm. ‘Let’s go, shall we?’
There weren’t many in the pub, just a few workmen standing by the bar and a few sitting at the small round tables. Thursday night was hard-up night, and many married men with families couldn’t afford the money for beer.
Lily pointed to an out-of-the-way table. ‘I’ll sit there, you get the drinks.’ She hadn’t failed to notice his eyes scanning the room as soon as they were through the door. And she recalled the number of times he’d done that. Even when they were walking in the street he always seemed to be on the lookout. She hadn’t thought anything of it until now, but then she’d had no reason to.
Lily sat tapping her fingers on the table as she watched Len waiting for the barman to fill his pint glass. Her whole inside was turning over as she asked herself how she was going to put the questions she needed answers to. For a fleeting moment she even thought of not asking him at all in case the whole thing was a misunderstanding. But she quickly dismissed that idea. If she didn’t get it off her chest she wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight.
‘Here yer are, love.’ Len put her glass of port and lemon on the table before pulling out a stool and sitting opposite her. ‘Yer’ll feel better after that.’
‘I hope so.’ Lily wasn’t a drinker, she only ever had one to be sociable. And then she’d take ages to drink it, just taking tiny sips at a time. But she needed something to bolster her courage tonight and she drank half the glass in one go. Then, after running her tongue over her lips, she took the plunge. ‘Len, do you know a girl called Joan?’
He looked startled and dropped his eyes – but not before Lily had seen a look in them that could only be described as fear. ‘Er, no, I don’t think so.’
‘Oh, I think yer do! Yer went out with her before yer went in the army.’
Len’s face went as white as chalk. Lily was on to something, but how much did she know? He’d have to take a chance that she wasn’t in possession of all the facts. ‘Yeah, I know who yer mean now. I went out with her before I met you. Why, what made yer ask that?’
Lily was beginning to shake, so she finished off the remainder of the port and lemon before answering. ‘Because I believe she had a baby to yer.’
‘Yer what!’ Len was flustered but it didn’t stop him from brazening it out. ‘I’m going to the police about that one! She’s been spreading these rumours about me just because I chucked her when I met you. She’s had a baby all right, but it certainly isn’t mine! And I’m going to have to put a stop to her blaming me. The father of the baby could be anyone, ’cos she’s a fly turn and generous with her favours.’
‘How would yer know that unless she’s been generous with you?’
‘Because the whole neighbourhood knows!’ Len had been telling lies since he was old enough to talk, and it was second nature to him. ‘She’s a slut and I wouldn’t touch her with a bargepole.’
Lily looked at him and sighed. Either he was a bloody good liar or there was a grain of truth in what he said. ‘She also says yer were writing t
o each other after yer were called up. I suppose that’s a lie, as well?’
‘She wrote to me! Me mam was daft enough to give her me address without asking me first. But I never wrote to her and her letters stopped after a while.’ Len’s eyes became slits. ‘Who’s been telling yer all this, anyway? They want to get their facts right before they go shouting their mouth off. If anyone said it to me face I’d belt them one.’
‘I heard it by sheer chance.’ Lily felt so confused she didn’t know what to think. She thought he would have looked guilty if it was true, but instead he’d given what could be a genuine reason for the girl to want to get her own back on him for packing him in. And he seemed angry that these rumours were flying around. That is, of course, if they were rumours. She just didn’t know what to think. What she did know was, she wanted to be out of that pub and in the fresh air.
‘Look, it was such a shock to me, I’ve got a splitting headache thinking about it. So I’d like to go home.’ She reached down for her handbag which was standing between her feet. ‘You stay and have another drink.’
‘I’m not staying here on me own, I’m coming with yer.’ Len emptied his glass in two gulps. ‘Besides, yer can’t just walk out on me like that! Yer make it sound as though yer believe all this rubbish about me being a father.’
‘To be honest with yer, I don’t know what to believe. But me headache’s so bad I can’t think properly right now.’ Lily got to her feet. ‘I need to get out in the fresh air.’ Without waiting to see if he was following, she made her way out of the pub. There was a slight breeze blowing and she stood on the pavement to breathe in the welcoming air. This had to be one of the worst days of her life.
Len came up behind her and took her arm. ‘I’ll walk yer home if yer don’t feel well. And I’m not leaving yer until yer say it’s me yer believe, and not this cock-and-bull story someone’s been telling yer. Whoever it was did it to split us up, and I’m not having that.’ He led her across the road and his voice was so convincing it would have fooled anyone. ‘Last night we were talking of saving up to get married, and now this! I’ll kill that Joan when I get me hands on her, the evil cow.’