“Yeah, but the sponsors want to meet with you immediately to go over the new contracts before the race, which means I need you on a plane by the end of the day,” Arlene insisted. “Are you fighting me on this? Remember, you didn’t even want to go back to Chandlerville. What changed?”
“I’ll be on the plane,” Jax acquiesced and ended the call.
What changed?
Jax didn’t have to think about that. He wasn’t willing to share it with his manager, but what changed for Jax was undeniable. He didn’t want to deny it. Megan was unexpected. Now though, Jax couldn’t imagine returning to his life and just walking away from her. There was something special there and he didn’t want to let it go.
He had the same thoughts in his head that Megan had. He had a whole life to return to that didn’t involve her; hundreds of miles away from the girl who could be the love of his life. But what if the fantasy was over for Megan? What if he wasn’t the man of her real dreams; not the distant ones where the person is unattainable, but the real ones that determine a person’s trajectory, who they love and how they love? Maybe, after spending time with him, Megan realized that she had just been smitten and that was it. Maybe nothing changed for her…
The rest of the day went by fast. Jax contemplated how he would handle letting Megan know he was leaving. Why was it such a big deal? Leaving didn’t mean never returning; however, Jax had to be honest with himself. His life was hectic. There was always demands for his time and attention. Soon he would fall back into the pattern of working too hard and not having time for anything else, let alone anyone else. But Jax couldn’t just leave and not say anything. That didn’t sit well with him.
Megan considered calling Jax to feel him out; to see if their adventure was just that, a one-time adventure. But Megan wasn’t ready for the answer to that question especially if it was one time. It would be easier to just appreciate the experience and move on since she resigned herself to the real possibility that it couldn’t be more than what it was. So, when her phone rang, and Megan recognized the number, her stomach dropped nearly to the floor. Suddenly, Megan’s heart was racing, and adrenaline was coursing through her veins and she considered not answering it. Speculating was sometimes easier than confirming. What if he didn’t have anything good to say? What if it was just one date and not the forever connection she longed for?
“Hi,” Megan answered tentatively.
“Hi,” Jax replied. Just hearing her voice made him smile.
There was silence between them and this time it felt like it needed to be filled. This silence was awkward and neither of them liked it.
“My manager called. I have to leave.”
“Okay.” Megan’s heart didn’t break. She kind of expected that leaving would happen. It’s what he wasn’t saying that Megan held her breath for.
“I don’t want to.”
“What?”
“I don’t want to,” Jax replied. “I’m not ready to leave… you…”
The sigh that escaped Megan’s lips was matched with a quick inhale. This was the unexpected.
“Why,” Megan was brave enough to ask.
“You’re gonna make me say it,” Jax grinned.
“Say what,” Megan baited.
“That there is something there. That I can’t stop thinking about you and I hope you can’t stop thinking about me either. That I don’t want to leave you, Megan.”
She collapsed back on the couch and kicked up her feet like she did when she watched race car driver, Jax Sutton win the semi-finals. He liked her, he really liked her.
“It’s not forever, right? I mean, you’ll be back,” Megan suggested.
“But when though,” Jax replied. “I don’t live here, but you do.”
“Something we really didn’t consider,” Megan agreed.
“I don’t know when I would be able to come back home but it wouldn’t be any time soon,” Jax said.
There was that silence again.
“So even though we both have feelings for each other, distance is coming between us.”
“You have feelings for me Ms. Richland,” Jax teasingly inquired.
“That’s not the point,” Megan sighed. She sat up on the couch and thought about the reality of their situation.
“And it would be unfair for me to ask you to give up what you have in Chandlerville for a guy you barely know.”
“You’re wrong about that,” Megan corrected. “I have known you my whole life. You’re not a stranger Jax. I have loved you from a distance for as long as I can remember, so you’re no stranger.”
“You love me?”
Megan was embarrassed by her disclosure and started to fumble and stutter. But the reality was, she did have feelings for him way before they actually got together, and it was more than just a crush. Moving from loving from a distance to loving up close and in person was not a big leap for Megan and she realized it with Jax on the phone. He did, too.
“Yeah, I do,” Megan replied. “but it doesn’t matter,” she continued. “You have a whole life, a separate life that has nothing to do with me. And I understand that. So, it was nice, actually spending time with you, having the chance to get to know you for real; more than just the guy from high school.” All the thoughts Megan had apart from him she shared with Jax. He didn’t like the sound of it, but he understood where she was coming from.
“So, what do we do?” Jax asked.
“We go on with our lives. People have expectations of you. You’ve got a big race coming up,” Megan replied trying to sound enthusiastic.
“Yeah, I do,” Jax agreed, but his tone as not nearly as upbeat as Megan’s.
“So, when are you leaving?”
“Headed to the airport now, actually,” Jax replied.
“Well, travel safely and thanks for an incredible time,” Megan answered somberly.
“Yeah, it was incredible.”
“I’ll call you when I land, okay?”
“Okay, you do that.”
The line disconnected. Their conversation was over. And for Megan, she wasn’t delusional. She didn’t hold out hope that he would call let alone be her happily ever after.
Chapter Eight
Jax did call. And they had a pleasant conversation. Jax said he missed Megan already. She agreed she missed him, too. And other circumstances, where he was closer, and they could act on their feelings, it would have been a good conversation, a welcomed conversation. But it wasn’t, because there was no way they could bridge the physical gap between them. Megan was gracious and Jax was kind and they both went on about their lives. Jax had a big race in a few days and they were filled with preparation which meant there was less and less time for Megan. She understood. She didn’t hold it against him.
So, Megan did what any girl would do. She filled her days with things to do so she didn’t have to miss him so much.
Bonnie and Joanne did their best to help her through the absence of the love of her life, but it proved harder with each day that passed. Megan was there but she wasn’t there.
“Why don’t you just go out there to him, surprise him,” Joanne suggested.
“Then what? See him and then come back to Chandlerville,” Megan asked as the three women sat in Cassie’s Café, enjoying white chocolate chip and macadamia nut cookies which were Megan’s favorite. She just picked at hers though which was wildly out of character.
“Or you could relocate,” Bonnie suggested.
Both Joanne and Megan looked at Bonnie, shocked at her suggestion.
“And leave everything I know and love? My kids at the school, my parents, you two?”
“He’s not in a foreign country, Megan. He lives in Atlanta, there are planes that go in and out of Hartsfield Jackson hundreds of times a day.”
“And you would be okay with that,” Megan asked, almost disappointed in how cavalier Bonnie suggested.
“Of course, I wouldn’t be okay with that. I would miss you terribly, but it would also give me the chance to visit th
e big city. And I believe in love, doing anything for real love and you and Jax are what real love is all about.”
That Joanne couldn’t disagree with, but she didn’t like the idea of her sister no longer living a stone’s through away.
“I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to stop teaching or leave my family and friend,” Megan sighed. “I also don’t like the idea of my picture being taken everywhere we went because I’m on the arm of the famous Jax Sutton. I don’t like the idea of stepping into his world. I would rather he step into mine.”
“Isn’t that kind of selfish though,” Joanne asked. Megan’s eyes lifted from their downcast position and examined her sister.
“I know but that’s how I feel.”
“It’s still selfish though,” Joanne repeated. “Would it be fair for Jax to give up everything for you?”
“No,” Megan bemoaned. “That’s why I have accepted that this relationship isn’t going to work. It has no place to go; no non-selfish options.”
“If this conversation was designed to cheer me up, it didn’t,” Megan said.
It was race day. Just as she’d done before, Megan wore her favorite pajamas as she prepared for the big event. She popped some popcorn and uncorked a bottle of wine. She wasn’t much of a drinker but seeing Jax in living color, could be exhilarating and heart breaking at the same time. That’s what the wine was for, to assuage the potential heartbreak. Although Bonnie and Jo offered to watch the race with her, Megan preferred to watch alone, just in case.
Megan decided that volume wasn’t necessary for the preliminaries. She didn’t want to hear all the speculation about who was projected to win or his background or anything else. She was nervous about watching the race itself. This time it was different. Before, Jax was a hot race driver that she crushed on. Now, Jax Sutton was a man that she loved, and he said he loved her. It was different. There was a lot more at stake. She considered keeping the volume off during the race, but Megan she didn’t.
The pretty girl did the ceremonial flag thing. She was extra pretty since this was the final. Megan scoffed but then tried to track and see if Jax could be looking in her direction.
“Come on Meg, that’s ridiculous,” she chastised herself. “How are you going to see that?”
She was out of sorts. And then the camera panned to the line-up of drivers and all thoughts about the flag girl and anything else went out the window as the camera focused on the love of her life.
Damn he looks good, Megan said to herself.
Before long, the checkered flag was up, and the cars were moving around the track. Megan started nervous eating and drinking. Without even thinking about it, she drank one glass and then half of the other. When it got down to the final few laps and Jax was in the mix, jockeying to hold his position and not lose ground, all eating, and drinking stopped. Megan was right there with him; cheering him on and trying to keep from biting her nails the race was so sketchy. Megan’s eyes grew larger as the driver commentated what she hoped she wasn’t seeing. The driver behind Jax’s car was so close to his bumper that at any second, if Jax relaxed on the gas or the other guy sped up, there would certainly be a crash. And that’s what made her heart beat so hard it felt like it would crash through her chest because the guy in the back wasn’t letting up. And the car in front of Jax hadn’t accelerated enough for Jax to speed up or try to make his way around.
Megan couldn’t scream anymore or say anything. She was paralyzed in fear seeing the love she always wanted in trouble. And then it happened. Jax managed to make a quick move that pushed the car in front of him just enough for him to weave around and get out of the jam he was in. the car in the rear wasn’t anticipating the move, over corrected and ended up spinning out; landing in the median with his tires chewing up the grassy knoll. Megan’s heart leapt, and she thought she would pass out. Her voice returned, and she screamed loudly cheering Jax on. The crowd went wild and so did the announcer as the two cars in front fought to the finish.
“It’s down to the final two with a quarter of a mile to go. Jax Sutton and Dan Mosley are vying to be the champ and it’s down to the wire. It’s anyone’s game! Who will it be?” The announcer called. Megan was on the edge of the couch. Her eyes were glued to the screen. She couldn’t move. It was the final curve.
Come on Jax, come on baby, please, just a little bit more. Come on, were the words that were on repeated down the final stretch. One car nosed in front of the other and then the other nosed in front. There wasn’t much more space left for jockeying. It was down to the last few feet, and then, a winner was declared.
Tears flowed from her eyes as she watched Jax Sutton taking the victory lap. He did it. Jax Sutton was holding the checkered flag and grinning from ear to ear and he was the winner. Megan couldn’t be more thrilled for him. Jax worked so hard to get to that place and he did it. He accomplished everything he set out to accomplish and he was the winner. Mean watched as he drove his car to the stage and climbed out, removing his helmet and waving to the legions of fans in the stands and on the other side of the cameras; people that were watching from all over the country and maybe even the world. It was a proud moment and his family was there with Jax when he was presented with the big check and the championship trophy.
The announcer on stage with Jax asked if he had anything he wanted to say to the fans. Megan watched as Jax took the microphone. The crowd erupted again even though he hadn’t uttered a word. He smiled and waved and eventually the crowd quieted sufficiently for Jax to speak.
“Wow, that’s all I can say is wow. This has been an incredible journey and there are so many people behind the scenes that make it happen for me. Thanks to my sponsors, my crew, the mechanics who keep y car in tip-top shape. Thanks to my fans and my family. Without all of you none of this is possible.”
There was another round of cheers. Megan smiled and wiped the tears from her eyes.
Before Jax handed the microphone back, he waited for the noise to die down one more time.
“Just one more thing,” Jax began. He looked directly into the closest camera and anyone watching could see the blueness of his eyes.
“There is a special someone who couldn’t be here with me today. Megan, I know you’re watching because I feel your presence. I know you prayed for me as I felt God’s hand of protection. I know you love me, because I felt it in my soul. I love you. I love you more than words can say, and I can’t wait to see you.”
Once again, Jax Sutton left her speechless. He just announced on national television that he had a special girl, that there was someone in his life for all the world to hear and that special someone was her. The tears that fell this time were not for Jax. The tears Megan shed hearing his words, were for the girl who dreamed; who fantasized about a forever love.
Epilogue
One Year Later
It was only fitting that Jax Sutton and Megan Richland had their wedding at the first official race track Jax ever ran. They were small town people at heart and wanted their wedding to reflect that. Six months earlier, Jax proposed with a simple but beautiful two-carat pear shaped diamond ring. He took Megan back to the dirt road to do it. That was their special place, and the night he proposed, Jax and Megan danced under the stars after kicking up dirt in the 57 Chevy. And they figured out how they were going to bridge the distance gap. They would make their home in Chandlerville. During racing season, Jax would travel as he needed to, but he always had a place to come home to. They had a place to call home.
But today was the day that Megan and Jax dreamed of. Surrounded by family and their closest friends, Jax waited for Megan at the makeshift altar. Although Jax made enough money for the couple to have a high-end wedding in a fancy hotel with all the trimmings, that’s not what they wanted. They didn’t want their wedding to be a spectacle. Marrying the love of his life and Megan marrying her dream man was about more than being a spectacle. It was about those who cared about them the most witnessing the love that they shared. And so Jax s
tood at the altar, with his two brothers by his side, looking across the aisle at Bonnie and Joanne who stood there for Megan.
When she entered, to a fiddler playing Here Comes the Bride, all heads turned in her direction. Megan was a vision in a mid-calf chiffon gown that was simple yet stunning. Her hair was pinned loosely atop her head accentuated by ivory pearl combs that held her tresses in place. In her hands, Megan carried a small bouquet of ruby red roses. The stark contrast of the bight red against her pristine white gown was a vision. Jax was momentarily overcome with just how beautiful his bride was.
Megan’s father escorted her down the aisle and gave his daughter away to a man that Megan’s father knew would love her, honor her, and care for her as long as they both lived.
“Do you Megan Richland, take this man, Jax Sutton to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health til death do you part?”
Megan didn’t hesitate to say I do. She always did. Megan had always loved Jax and this ceremony was just the outward expression of what she’d always known in her heart and dreamed of in her mind.
“And do you Jax, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do you part?”
Jax didn’t hesitate to say I do. Although his love for Megan didn’t cover the many years that she pined for him, Jax’s love was true. He couldn’t imagine the rest of his life without her and now he didn’t have to. There was something that had been missing in his life that before, Jax couldn’t quite put his finger on. But lifting Megan’s veil and seeing the love she held for him in her eyes, Jax knew that the thing he had been missing was right in front of him. He no longer had to miss his forever.
The End
Note from the Author
Thank you so much for reading Missing Forever! I hope you enjoyed it and will continue to read future works by C. E. Granger! Reviews are the lifeblood of independent writers. The more reviews we get, the more Amazon and others promote the book. If you want to see more from C. E. Granger, a review will go a long way towards allowing me to write more books. If you liked the book, I ask you to write a review on Amazon.com, Goodreads or where ever you go for your book information. Thank you so much. Doing so means a lot to me.
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