All God's Creatures

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All God's Creatures Page 29

by Carolyn McSparren


  I tossed the bread to him. "You're serious. Why do you hate it?"

  "I never knew I had a territorial imperative until I sold my house in Memphis and moved to the condo in Florida. It's mine, all right, at least the inside of it is, but it's just a glorified apartment with a view of the Gulf."

  "But you hate yard work."

  "I hired somebody to do that up here." He handed me another stack of buttered slices. "All the women I know who have moved down there keep bitching about having to find a new hairdresser, a new gynecologist, a new dentist. Well, sweetheart, I have a beard, most of my hair, a prostate, and all my own teeth. So I have to hunt up new sources too. And the grocery store doesn't carry Bumble Bee Tuna. How can you live in a place that doesn't carry Bumble Bee Tuna?"

  I laughed and slid another stack of sandwiches onto Eli's good ironstone platter. "So what do you plan to do about it?"

  "I've already done it," Shep said with satisfaction. "I close on the sale of the condo in Florida next week, and a week later I move into my new house up on Pickwick Lake."

  "You're kidding. That's less than two hours from here."

  "Am not. It's a planned community, so I won't have the yard work, but cottages look like old-fashioned farmhouses with front porches and picket fences. They're sitting in the middle of the woods with a view of the lake and their own boat docks."

  "What about all that Florida golf?"

  "Let me tell you, Miss Maggie, when you golf the way I do, eighteen holes a day is the path to frustration, high blood pressure and sunstroke. Besides, I miss seasons. Perpetual summer punctuated by the occasional hurricane won't cut it." He dropped his eyes. "And I missed y'all."

  "Does Eli know?"

  "Miss Eli does not know, and you are not going to tell her, you hear?"

  I raised my hands in a gesture of submission. "I promise."

  "She'd say I told you so."

  "She did tell you so."

  "That's why I'll tell her in my own way." He turned my shoulders so that I looked him square in the eye. "Maggie, sweet thing, you have to trust me on this. You do not want to retire and move someplace else among what the Bible calls The alien com' You sure don't want to die among strangers in a strange land."

  "I don't plan to die anytime soon."

  "We never do, do we?"

  I knew he was thinking of Morgan.

  "Maggie, you don't want to give up your life's work for somebody else's agenda."

  I felt my face go red. "Eli put you up to this."

  Shep raised his eyebrows in angelic innocence. "Why, no."

  "I don't believe you." I stood up. "I know Eli is sneaky, but you, Shep?"

  "Honey, I been telling you the God's honest truth."

  "Right." I picked up the loaded platter. "You finish the sandwiches. Put them in the refrigerator. We'll replenish as needed."

  Outside, I covered the platter of sandwiches and placed it beside the chicken. Everything was ready. Now all we needed was people.

  "Yoo-hoo," called a cheery voice.

  I looked up. "Sweet sufferin' Jesus."

  "Lordy," Eli whispered. "How's she balancing on two legs?"

  Heather toddled along with Rick steering. She wore a sprigged cotton maternity tent stretched way beyond its limits.

  "I hate my husband," she said without preamble.

  "You'll hate him more when you're in labor," I said equably. "But you'll forget it eventually."

  "Honey pot," Rick said, "Let me get you a chair."

  "The tallest, straightest you can find," Heather snapped. "Then you can help me sit down in it."

  "When are you due?" Eli asked. "Next week sometime, right?"

  "Our baby girl is due two days from now," Rick said proudly.

  "If I don t pop by next Wednesday moming," Heather said, "they'll induce. I have heard that's real fun."

  "Learn this mantra," I said. "I want my epidural. Practice saying it loud and often."

  "I'm going natural," Heather said. "At least I hope I am. The doctor's not so sure he won't have to do a Cesarean."

  "Everything's fine," Rick said.

  Heather gave him a milk-curdling look. "Oh, sure. Fine. Rick's dragged me to the hospital twice. They pat me on the head, tell me I'm having Braxton-Hicks contractions and send me home. Then every time I lie down the little monster starts doing the rumba. I need to be near the bathroom, Eli. I have to go every fifteen minutes."

  "Has your mother come down to help?" I asked.

  Heather raised her eyes. "We're not telling either set of grandparents I'm in labor until the baby is bom. My mother would barge right into the delivery room, and I don't want anybody there but Rick."

  "Afterwards, I'll call both sets. If 11 take Heather's parents three hours to get down here. They farm about fifty miles east of Nashville."

  "And Rick's folks have to drive from Little Rock."

  "So we'll at least get to hold our own baby," Rick said.

  "When my sister had hers," Heather said, "My mother wouldn't let her near the kid. I'm breastfeeding, so I'll get to hold her then."

  "You're sure it's a her?" Eli asked.

  "Unless the doctors missed something on the ultra-sound." Heather squirmed and tried to get comfortable. "At least my ankles aren't swollen and my blood pressure's still normal."

  Lanier's van pulled up behind Rick's truck. As the side door opened, Rick walked over to see whether he could help Susan. She waved him off and pushed the lever that lowered the elevator on which her wheelchair rested.

  "We're used to this," Susan said. "I can do it by myself"

  The big yellow Labrador jumped out behind her and stationed himself at the right hand wheel of her chair.

  "Is this Pumpkin?" Rick asked and rubbed the shaggy ears. "I've heard a lot about you."

  Pumpkin wriggled with pleasure.

  "Why is he named Pumpkin?"

  Susan grinned. "The first time I saw a picture of him-long before he was trained-he was a little orange ball. I named him Pumpkin right that minute."

  "Now we're only missing Vickie," Eli said and glanced over at me. There was no need to mention who else we were missing. My mother told me after my father died, that getting through all the special occasions, the holidays with their traditions, that first year was the hardest part of her widowhood. So maybe next Memorial Day's picnic would be easier. I sure as shooting hoped it would.

  "Vickie swore she's coming," I said.

  "Alone?"

  "Please God alone," I whispered.

  Vickie's Explorer rolled up. She wasn't alone.

  "Lordy, she's taken Herb back," Eli said.

  But when the doors opened, Vickie was followed by two beautiful young men who towered over her.

  "Hope you don't mind. Adam and Jason leave for LSLI tomorrow. They're just home for the weekend."

  Sarah and Nathan had been grown and living away since college, but watching Vickie with her two and Lanier with Susan, I suddenly wished I could teleport my two children from wherever they were spending Memorial Day, if only for a few hours.

  "Delighted to have them," Eli said. "Introduce yourselves, guys. There's beer, but whichever one of you is still under twenty-one, stick to soft drinks." Eli pointed to an ancient oak that shaded a large area in the evening sun.

  'We don't drink" said Adam, the taller of the two.

  "Good." I turned to Vickie. "So?"

  Vickie lifted her chin. "Herb's being as big a horse's patoot as I thought he would be about the property settlement, but all he can do is flounder and swear."

  "No threats?"

  "The boys took him out for breakfast yesterday and told him how the cow ate the cabbage."

  "Good. I wouldn't want those two giants as enemies. Lord, they are gorgeous!"

  "Herb did pass down his handsome genes. Let's hope they got their discipline and responsibility genes from me."

  Everyone including Heather ate enormously, and sank into deck chairs semi-comatose. Vickie's sons left for anot
her party after Lanier and Susan offered to drive Vickie home.

  I caught the longing in Susan's eyes when the boys drove off. They were both too old for her, of course, but they were male, they were handsome college boys, and theywere going dancing. That must hurt.

  I don't know how many times I'd watched my Sarah traipse off to dances dressed in everything from jeans to formal gowns. Please, God, I thought, let Susan find a knight in shining armor who sees beyond the wheelchair and takes her to the prom.

  I moved my chair over by Susan's wheelchair. "How's the riding?"

  Susan's face was as luminous as the moon. "Aunt Maggie, it's wonderful. When I'm on Mariah, I've got legs."

  "Mariah? Patsy's old Mariah?"

  "She's not that old. She's not sway-backed or anything, and she moves so smoothly I don't have any trouble hanging on." Susan smiled. "I know she belongs to Mrs. Dalrymple, but in my heart I think of her as my horse."

  I felt a frisson of anxiety. I knew another girl who loved a horse that deeply. I didn't want that kind of tragedy to happen to Susan. She had enough tragedy. She needed joy.

  "Mrs. Dalrymple says Mariah's the mother of your daughter's horse," Susan said as though she'd been reading my mind. "I've heard Sarah was a really good rider."

  "She was. I'm glad you're enjoying the classes."

  "I never knew Mrs. Dalrymple before. She's a really super lady. Did you know she can ride?"

  I broke out laughing. "Susan, when Patsy and I were both young and a whole lot lighter and more flexible than we are now, Patsy could ride the hair off any horse that moved."

  "You too, Aunt Maggie?" Now Susan's eyes really shown. "I didn't know you rode horses."

  "I couldn't until Patsy taught me after I got married. She and I used to go trail-riding when we could work out our schedules."

  "But how could you give it up?"

  I opened my mouth, then shut it again. "You know, that's a very good question. Maybe Patsy and I ought to do more of it."

  "The kids at school are actually jealous of me."

  "Good for you."

  A pair of bats glided through the light and swooped down just over Susan's chair. "Oooh, get away!"

  "They won't hurt you."

  "Rick, I need to go to the bathroom again," Heather said. Rick unfolded from the grass, set his beer bottle down carefully, and slipped his hand under her arm. She popped up like a champagne cork out of a bottle.

  "Want me to go with you?"

  "I can still pee by myself, thank you." She waddled off.

  He watched her. "You don't think she'll fall up the steps, do you?"

  "I promise, if she's not back in five minutes, I'll go check on her and give her a hand up if she needs one," Eli said. "Get a grip, Rick. She's not going to calve right here on the lawn. How many calves have you birthed, by the way? A hundred?"

  "She's a human being. She's my human being, and that's my baby."

  "Human babies, especially first babies, take forever to be born after labor starts. Chill." Although five minutes had not passed, Eli meandered to her back door and went in.

  A moment later she came back and stood on the top step. "Uh, Rick, Heather's water just broke."

  Rick took the steps in one bound. "Heather, honey?" he called.

  "She's locked herself in the bathroom," Eli said. "Maggie, you come and talk to her."

  I squeezed past Rick and tried the door to Eli's powder room. Locked. "Heather, honey, you okay in there?"

  I heard a wail. Rick tried to push past me. I'm certain he planned to knock the door down. "Back up," I said. "Let me handle this. Go stand over there by the refrigerator."

  "But... "

  Eli grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

  I leaned against the door. "Open up, Heather. It's just Maggie."

  "I've ruined the party! I knew I shouldn't come."

  "You haven't ruined anything. Can you reach the door to open it?"

  "I've made a big mess."

  "Messes can be cleaned up. Unlock the door."

  I heard a movement, then a click. I also heard Rick behind me, but Eli had him well in charge.

  Heather sat on the john with her shoulders hunched. "I was feeling great. I haven't had so much energy in weeks. I scrubbed out all the kitchen cabinets and cleaned the refrigerator and..." She squeezed her eyes shut and caught her breath. A moment later she relaxed. "Whoa. That was a doozie."

  I dropped to my knees in front of Heather. "How long have you been having contractions?"

  "I didn't think they were contractions," Heather wailed. "It was just like menstrual cramps. Like those Braxton-Hicks things they kept sending me home for."

  "How far apart?"

  "I don't know. I wasn't keeping track. Maggie, I'm so sorry."

  "Now you are being an idiot. Babies come when they choose. You'll never be as out of control in your life as you are right now. Rick and I will lift you into your truck so he can drive you to the hospital. This time I guarantee they'll keep you."

  "But..."

  "Heather, this is your first baby. You probably won't be out of your first stage of labor for hours. Can you stand?"

  "Of course I can stand." She made it halfway. "I'm not helplessoh, shit! " She grabbed her belly. Her eyes widened, her fists clenched. "This h-h-h-hurts."

  "Heather, don't you dare push! Rememberyour breathing exercises from birthing class? Practice. Puff, damn you, puff!" I pulled out the whole linen closet full of towels and laid them on the floor in front of her. "Come on, sweetie. Let Maggie help you sit down." I had visions of sliding her along to the steps and out the back door. She had gotten into the bathroom, so she must fit through the door, but at the moment, I wasn't too sure.

  "I weigh a ton."

  "Shut up." I got an arm under Heather's legs, half pulled her off the toilet and propped her on the floor. "Keep your knees up and tight together and don't you push."

  "I'm okay"

  "For the moment. What's your doctor's number? "

  Heather gave it to me and I passed it to Eli. A moment later she stuck her head around the doorjamb. "Your doctor says he'll meet you and Rick at the hospital. He says don't worry, you have plenty of time."

  "Maggie, I'm scared."

  Of course she was scared. I remembered how I'd felt when my water broke with Sarah. It was as if my own body had turned on me. I had to find the right words to say, not that I thought she'd pay a whole lot of attention.

  "You are simply the latest in a long line of female mammals who have been doing this for millennia. Before my Sarah was born myvery wise doctor told me to stop intellectualizing and pay attention to my instincts. If you were a cat or dog you could be having a litter. I'll be right back with Rick and Shep to help move you."

  "Don't leave me!"

  "Heather? You okay?" Rick called.

  I walked out onto the back steps.

  "Her water broke?" Vickie asked.

  "Not only that. She's in real labor."

  "Good grief," Shep said.

  "Say what?" Vickie added.

  "We've called her doctor and I think Eli's calling nine-one-one. Heather's progressing faster than she should be for a first baby. She's been ignoring the contractions most of the day."

  "Poor child's probably still got hours before she delivers," Vickie said.

  "I don't think this baby read the rule book. The contractions seem to be coming about every two minutes. I think she's already starting second stage labor. If the EMTs don't get here fast, we may have to deliver it."

  "Maggie, we're vets, not obstetricians," Lanier added.

  Another long wail sounded from the house. "Oh, hell," I said.

  Eli said from behind me, "We can't get her upstairs to my bedroom. The kitchen table's not nearly big enough, and there's no room to work around it. Can we get her to the clinic?"

  "I don't think we can make it that far."

  "How about the picnic table?" Vickie asked. "She'll be on a firm surface with plenty of room.
"

  "Eli, you got a box of OB gloves in your pantry?" I asked.

  Eli nodded. "Probably half a dozen boxes."

  "Bring a whole box. And your emergency bag. We need Betadine and alcohol and soap and water and a suction bulb and scissors and God knows what all. Shep-Shep, honey, you look like a deer in headlights. Eli's always got a stack of newspapers a yard high beside the fireplace. Bring them out here and lay them on the picnic table. I've read they're more hygienic, God knows why. Vickie, you and Lanier clear everything off the picnic table."

  "Can't we leave her where she is?" Shep asked.

  "You've seen Eli's powder room. There's barely room to turn around. We'll never be able to work on the floor on our knees. Susan, drive your chair over to my house. There's towels and blankets and sheets in the downstairs cupboard inside the back door. Can you get over the stoop to reach them?"

  "Sure."

  "Shouldn't somebody boil water?" Shep asked from the top step.

  "If it will make you happy. Get the newspapers and then go help Susan." I turned towards the highway. "If that damned ambulance would get here we wouldn't have to do all this."

  The door to Eli's powder room opened into the room rather than out into the hall. Rick had to lift Heather's torso to give Eli and me room to push it fully open.

  "Hey, baby girl, how you doing?" I asked, dropped to my knees and took Heather's hand.

  "Maggie, I am so sorry," Heather wailed. "I spoiled the party. I shouldn't have come."

  "But what a special attraction. Okay, we have to get you out of here."

  "Help me up." Without warning Heather's back arched. She gripped my hand hard enough to bring tears to my eyes. "Ow, ow, ow!"

  "Whoo, whoo, whoo," Rick puffed.

  "Shut up, you bastard!" Heather shouted. "This is all your fault. "

  After several false starts that ate up an agonizing amount of time, Heather managed to struggle to her feet with Rick's support.

  "Maggie, I can't move. It feels like I've got a basketball hanging out of me."

  "Okay. Rick, can you pick her up and carry her?"

  "Sure. Come on, honey lamb."

  "Don't you honey lamb me, you... Oh, shit! "

  I suspected Rick's back would ache for days. As he struggled down the back stairs with Eli leading him and holding Heather's feet, Heather snarled, "If you ever do this to me again, I'll kill you!"

 

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