by West, T J
We’re both silent for a couple seconds before I ask, “What about Phillip?” I curl my legs underneath my butt and lean my elbow on the sofa arm.
“Well, how do you feel about him?”
She looks at me, waiting for my answer. I hesitate, then admit quietly, “I’m falling for him.”
Faith takes hold of my hand and encourages me, “Invite him over. Talk with him.”
“But -”
“Talk with him, June-bug,” she orders. “I’m here for you, alright? For you, and the baby. I’ll support you no matter what you decide.”
This just confirms it—I have Faith’s blessing if I want to pursue a relationship with Phillip. It’s so strange though—me falling for her ex-boyfriend. It doesn’t seem right. Yet it seems right for me, because I’ve always had a thing for him. Sadly I am scared to death of getting hurt again. I don’t think I can handle another let down from Phillip. Nonetheless I am going to have to think long and hard before I decide what I want, then I will give him the chance to tell me how he feels.
A week later and. . . . .oh . . . half a dozen or so texts, and voicemails from Phillip I thought it was time to talk with him. Plus I was missing my baby-daddy. Ugh! I hate myself for even feeling that way, but I can’t just turn off my heart. I need to know if we really do have a future together, if he actually feels the same about me as I do for him. I’m not in this just for our child, I’m in this for me—for Phillip.
On a good note, my mom got through to my dad and put him in his place; he’s accepted that I am an adult and can handle my own life—thank God! One less thing to worry about.
I wring my fingers together the moment I hear a knock at my door. I texted Phillip the night before to come over so we could talk. I was a hot mess all day at work knowing I was going to see him again. I take a deep breath, smooth out my dress and open the door. One look at him and I immediately go weak in the knees, and my mouth starts to salivate. Shit, that blue buttoned up shirt he’s wearing really brings out the green in his eyes—wow.
How I want to slowly unbutton—Christ! Get a grip June! Let him in already! “Come in,” I mutter, moving aside.
I offer him a beer—man, I wish I can have a long ass drink myself. I straighten my back and tell him, “Have a seat, boss.”
“Boss huh?” He smirks; gorgeous, devilish smirk.
I lead us over to the sofa. “Sit.”
He gives me that smirk again. “Who’s boss now?” Oh no he doesn’t! He doesn’t get to be all cute and . . . what was I saying? Get your head screwed back on June!
“Sit your ass down,” I order him, pointing at the sofa. We both take a seat—however I sit on the opposite side of him. I don’t want to be too close, he smells too good. God what on earth does he use? I want to lick him.
I watch him take a long swig of his beer. Those lips around that bottle. Those lips. I snap out of it when he begins to talk. “I’m really glad you finally got back to me. I’ve been really worried about you,” he says with a sincere expression.
I’ve been waiting to ask this question. It’s the perfect time to hear what he has to say—what he really sees. Although I need to pee like crazy, I turn to face him and blurt out, “What do you see when you look at me, I mean truly look at me?”
His eyes widen with surprise. “What is this, June?” He puts his beer down on the coffee table and scoots his fine ass closer.
Too close. Oh gosh, I smell his scent again. Want. To. Lick.
I shake my head out of frustration and repeat myself. “Answer me. What do you see?”
“Okay,” he starts. “I see. . . . .I see a strong, persistent—“
“No!” I shout, making him jolt. “Phillip. . . . No.” He looks very confused and taken aback. So to make this clearer for him, I look him square in the eye and sternly say, “I want to know what you see on the outside. This is not a trick question. Answer me honestly.”
In an instant Phillip’s face changes from being perplexed to now being solemn; steady. He inches his way even closer to me. I’m trapped once again—and I like it dammit. “Fine,” he clips at me. “I see a woman covered in tattoos, piercings, dyed hair and a pair of gorgeous fucking lips that can kiss like it’s no ones business. I see long, amazing legs that I want wrapped around my goddamned neck while I fuck her hard. I see hardened nipples I want to tug on and suck on until they are plump and red and calling for mercy. I see a woman who has the bluest fucking eyes that look crazy amazing right now when they are full of anger and hurt. I see that thing on your lip.” He touches my lip ring, tugging lightly on it making me feel helpless within his seduction. “. . . . I want to tug on it with my teeth.” Holy—gulp. “ . . . and this. . . . right here. .” He glides his finger along the ribbon tattoo on my upper thigh. Oh goodness, fucking me, I’m on fire from his touch. “I want to lick it and pretend it’s being cloaked around us while I’m deep inside of you.” Cloaked? Deep inside of me? Wow. He lowers his voice, huskily, and is practically on top of me. I feel his hot breath on my cheek and notice his eyes have turned into that forest green again. He continues, “I want to kiss every inch of every picture that is on your fucking fantastic body.” He pauses, making my heart beat a mile a minute. “Not only that, but I see a woman who is beautiful, sexy and extremely hot.” He is so close to my mouth I hear the letter T clamp down from his teeth. Mercy me. “Last but not least, I see a woman who wants me to fuck her until she’s blue in the face.” Yes. Yes I do. “I know you want me just as much as I want you.” You got that right, boss. “Did I answer your question correctly?” He huskily asks.
My voice comes out breathy when I state, “Fuck, yes you did,” and I kiss him. Hard. I am suddenly wrapped around his torso and shoved onto the sofa, kissing the hell out of him. Tongues collide, teeth bite, breathing gets heavy and hands start exploring—until I come to a screeching halt. “I have to pee,” I blurt out, once I catch my breath. “Really, really badly.” I push Phillip off and run straight to the bathroom, with the echo of laughter in the background—asshat! Once I finish my business I come racing back into the living room to find him slouched on the sofa, arms crossed and a big sexy grin on his gorgeous face. I give him my best “fuck me” look, bite my bottom lip and seductively walk toward him. I stand in front of him, never losing eye contact, and slowly lift my dress up over my head, letting it fall to the ground. All that’s left is my silk panties. I climb on top, straddle him and cover his lips with mine, bringing my hands to cup his face while my tits are smashed into his chest. His hands immediately slide inside my panties, down into the crack of my ass until I slightly lift up so his fingers can tickle their way to my pussy. What a dirty word. . . . .pussy . . . but hot damn it goes with the moment. Oh shit, he is making me so wet! I moan in his mouth while I move with the motion of his finger. He’s got great fingers. I immediately unlock lips, throw my head back and quiver from the intensity of how good Phillip is making me feel. I finger through his hair allowing him to get closer to my tits. I want his mouth on them. Now. He suddenly gets the message and starts sucking on those nipples of mine, giving them a plump redness with his teeth, biting, nibbling, forcing them—me to beg for mercy. And boy do I beg him for mercy. Legs wrapped, still kissing, tugging on my lip ring with his teeth, he takes me into my bedroom and crushes himself on top of me when we land on my bed. I can’t stop kissing and touching him, he’s like a drug inside my system that needs releasing; I need to see him naked, smell his body, suck his dick, make him growl and pull him over the edge. “Take off your clothes, boss. Now,” I demand, ordering him in my utmost commanding tone. Enough is enough—my hot alpha male needs to be naked! He is very good at taking orders.
His hair is deliciously fucked up as he pushes away from my body. I lick my lips as I watch him unbutton that awesome blue shirt, it turns me the fuck on! I spread my legs wide and slip my fingers inside my panties and start rubbing myself. The look in his eyes go completely dark; he is hungry. I start to move with my fingers and use my other
hand to tweak my red nipples—they’re sore, yes, but nothing is going to stop them from getting tweaked. Eyes are still locked with Phillip’s, he’s getting the best show of his life and I know he can’t wait to take over. Holy cock—his cock is massive, engorged and is releasing that glaze I want to taste on my lips. I am still touching myself when he wraps a hand around his length, stroking, eye fucking me and playing with my sexual desires. I can’t take it anymore. I slip my panties off and scoot myself in the middle of the bed, calling him with my finger to get his sexy ass cock over to me. Instead he climbs on the bed, pulls my legs up over his shoulders and starts eating me out. Every bad word ever said comes out of my mouth when that tongue of his swirls, bites, and sucks on my clit. I continue to tweak my nipples, and move to the sucking—I think I am going to burst, it feels AMAZING! More sucking, more swirls and I combust inside his naughty mouth, screaming. He’s very naughty. I really thought it was my turn, but Phillip won’t have it. I need that gorgeous cock now, my mouth is watering. I want to suck him so bad! Yet, he climbs back on top of me and kisses me slow and soft. He tastes like me, and man it’s so good and smells divine. Slowly he enters me and we start to move. Wow—just fucking, Wow. I really love how he moves, how he sounds when he moves, and how we move and sound together. It’s bliss, pleasurable and monumental. I am really enjoying being underneath him and feeling caged in. I like looking at his face when he pounds into me; it’s rigid, serious, and playful. I grip onto his amazing biceps; they are strong as they hold himself up while he moves in and out of me. I tighten around his torso when I feel him accelerate. He’s moving so fast I think I’m going to come again. My pussy is rubbing against him and feels so damn good—oh God, yes! I hit another climax. Holy crap, where did that come from? I scream from my release, begging him to come for me. He lifts one of my legs up and over his shoulders, just like he wanted to, and pounds me to no end. Every grunt he makes turns me on even more. It’s the sexiest sound ever. Harder, faster, faster and finally he is thrown over edge, growling his release like a wild animal. He’s my beast—my alpha beast.
Wow. I am spent and dazed. Mighty hot Phillip just gave me two fucking orgasms, I’ll never recover. He is definitely a beast.
What time is it? We both fell asleep and I’m not even sure how long. It’s dark outside and the air just clicked on again. I love being tangled up with him, it feels so good; my right leg is swung over his left leg, my arm hugging his torso and my head resting on his tight, muscled chest. He has me shielded and protected in the grip of his arm, I could easily die happy right here.
His hold tightens as he awakens. Kissing my forehead he caresses my upper thigh and quietly admits, “Love this ribbon.”
I place my hand on top of his, grinning. “You really do, don’t you?” I ask, surprised. I mean, I am surprised. I never thought I would hear him say that to me.
“Oh, yeah I do,” he replies, playfully. “It’s my favorite piece on this body.” We hook fingers over on my thigh.
I take in a breath. “What made you change your ways? You hated tattoo’s,” I remind him.
“You,” he quickly responds. “This art is who you are. How can I not appreciate that?” What? I can’t believe my ears. Wow! He has no idea how far I have now fallen.
“So . . . ,” I slowly start to ask. “ . . . the tattoo’s. . . . .pierci -”
Phillip lightly jerks my body in order to get my attention. He moves his body onto his side, so now we are facing each other. His hand touches the curve of my waist, braising the skin with his fingers—it tickles.
His face becomes very serious. “Hear me again. . . . without any of this,” lightly touching my tattoos, “you wouldn’t be you. I love what I see, June. I love it,” he ends on a whisper. Our chests touch as we both move in for a kiss. Mmm, so nice. He kisses oh so good. Rough one minute, soft the next. He’s a man of many talents.
“Does that mean you’ll want to get one yourself?”
He throws his head back and laughs. Oh my, I love his laugh! “I wouldn’t go that far.”
I bite my lip, grazing my finger across his chest. “Oh, I don’t know, I’d think you would look pretty sexy with one . . . right here,” my finger lands near the end of his torso. I look up into his eyes and smile.
His dark green eyes are in deep thought. What is he thinking? He’s so serious sometimes. “Maybe,” he blurts out, humorously grinning at me again. A tattoo on Phillip . . . God I can just imagine it now. Hot.
We are quiet for a minute until I decide to bring up the marriage talk. It’s time to get this out of the way. “Hey, we need to talk about this whole marriage thing.”
I hear him sigh. “I only agreed with your father because—“
“Because that’s who you are,” I cut in. “Stepping up the responsibility, I get that, but it’s not in my cards right now, Phillip. I want to be in love first.” I’m already there. “I want us to be in love, before we go down that route. Having a baby doesn’t mean having to get married. It wouldn’t be healthy for us, for our baby if we were in a marriage, unhappy. You get me?”
I can tell he’s thinking, he’s tapping my thigh with his finger. I know he wants to get his way and be all alpha, controlling beast, but he has to understand it’s not going to happen. “I get you. So, no marriage . . . for now,” he promises.
“Thank you.” I lift up, smile and kiss him. Those lips, I could eat them all day.
Then out of no where he asks, “Junith, huh?”
I gasp and smack his arm. “That is a low blow, mister.”
His hand leads to my butt, squeezing it to bring us even closer to one another, I can feel his dick against me. Nice. “Tell me your full name, ”he chuckles.
I scoff, “No.”
“No?” He raises a brow. “Am I going to have to turn you over on my knee in order to get you to tell me?”
Oh, my God! The devilish alpha is back! “What? Hell no!” I start laughing as I push him away, but he’s way too strong for me. Instead of smacking me on the ass he cages me in and starts to tickle me. I burst into screams and laughter, I cannot breathe. “Okay, okay, fine! Stop tickling me! I’ll tell you!” Still caged in and still trying to get my breath back I tell him my name. “It’s Junith Beatrice.” He stares at me for a second and tries his hardest not to laugh, yet he can’t help himself. He rolls off me and bursts into laughter. I could just kill him! “I knew I shouldn’t have told you, you big jerk!” I smack him again, pouting, yet he continues to laugh. Ugh, madness! Although he does look cute laughing.
His laughter dies down. “I fucking love it,” he chuckles.
Still laying on my back, I cross my arms. “It’s a ridiculous name.” It is! I have no idea what my parents were thinking! The only ones who were ever allowed to call me Junith Beatrice were my parents. Other than that, June was it. I hated my name growing up. Beatrice. Ugh.
“Come here,” he chuckles, yanking me over on top. One hand on my ass, the other behind my head and the lips find each other. Mmmm.
Sadly I need to break away. “I have to pee again.” Stupid bladder. I sprint to the bathroom and do my business, but as I go to grab some toilet paper I feel a heaviness, cramping. Maybe having sex brought on the cramps, but that’s not it. I wipe myself and find a massive amount of blood.
I scream, calling out for Phillip. He comes rushing into the bathroom looking alarmed. “What’s wrong!”
“There’s blood. Lots of blood! Something’s wrong!” I start to panic as Phillip wraps me with a towel. He then races to get his cell phone and dials 911. Oh, my God, 911? What the hell is happening! I suddenly feel faint . . . . . . . . .
IT’S QUIET. REALLY, REALLY QUIET. As I walk through June’s apartment it seems the whole world has gone silent; like somehow, everyone knew we had lost the baby.
There was blood—a whole lot of blood. I retrieved my cell phone, called 911, went back to June and found her unconscious. She lost so much blood she passed out, I was terrified she was going to die
on me. The paramedics rushed her to the hospital, took her straight into the ER and left me alone in the waiting room, covered in blood. I didn’t know what to do, I felt at a complete loss.
While I waited for any news about June, I made calls to Faith and June’s parents. By the time they arrived I was in a clean pair of scrubs one of the nurses gave me to change into. I dumped my other clothes in the trash; the thought of taking those home. . . . I just couldn’t.
We all sat in that damn waiting area, for God knows how long, without any news. We were going stir crazy. My mind was on overdrive, trying to figure what went wrong, and if June and the baby were going to be okay? Sadly, I knew that deep down we had lost our baby. You can’t have that much blood loss and think everything is going to be okay . . . you just can’t. In the end I could have lost them both. I’m not so sure I would be able to handle losing two people I’ve come to love, all at one time.
We were finally taken to June’s room; she was hooked up to an IV and were told she had a blood transfusion—damn, that’s really bad. Soon after, we were told June lost the baby and since she had lost so much blood she would need to stay in the hospital for a day or two, for observation reasons. Next, the doctor so kindly told me how sorry he was about the loss of our kid. Fuck you, doc. My heart sank the moment those words “she lost the baby” came out of his mouth, I wanted him to shut the hell up. I didn’t want it to be true, and I didn’t want to tell June.
Faith and Virginia were both visibly upset; they held onto each other and cried. Jasper came over to me and patted my back and did his best to keep the tears in. I just wanted to sit by June’s bedside and cry into her chest; hold her hand, kiss her on the forehead. Yet I felt glued to the floor, I couldn’t move. I couldn’t feel anything, nor did I want to feel anything. I wanted this nightmare to go away and pretend it never happened.
I stood in the background as Virginia told June the news. I should have been the one telling her and comforting her, but Virginia thought it was best she tell her. I didn’t have the strength to go through with it anyhow. I watched how calm and nurturing Virginia was explaining to June what had happened. I saw the look in June’s eyes, how devastated and gutted she was. I have never witnessed anything like it. Then the crying began and I couldn’t be in the room any longer. My vision became blurred as I exited out of the room. I took a walk down a deserted hallway, slowly crouched down on the ground and began to sob; I covered my eyes with my fists and let everything out. From what I built up inside all evening, I exploded with grief I’ve never experienced; it’s the deepest, most darkest emotion.