by Joanna Rees
But she didn’t want this to be over yet and was determined to make him part of it too. Resisting the urge to climax, she rolled over on top of him and pushed him back.
Grabbing the sides of his shorts, she pulled them roughly down.
She moved down on him. Her nostrils flared as she breathed deeply in, savouring his glorious aroma. As she took him in her mouth, she heard Aidan moan with pleasure.
Soon, he sat up and reached for her hips, pulling her round. He swivelled her so that she was positioned above him, then tugged the fabric of her knickers aside. Lois felt herself shuddering, pressing down on Aidan’s mouth.
She didn’t know how long they stayed there, exploring each other’s bodies, twisting, turning, entwining themselves around each other like vines. But finally he moved away from her and took a condom from a box in the bedside table. She noticed the box was already open. But what did it matter who’d gone before? She was here with him now. And it felt so fresh to her. This place. This man.
This might not lead to love or anything like it. It might all lead nowhere at all. But what mattered was how she felt right now.
She pulled out her hair clip and let her long black hair cascade down over her breasts.
She could see herself reflected in the tinted glass of the window. Her pulse was racing, her breath shuddering. His skin shone like burnished gold in the soft light as he held his arms out to her.
She straddled him, gasping as he entered her. She began grinding herself back and forth on top of him, slowly and sensually, her eyes locked with his as she massaged her hands up his chest.
He sat up, his face pressed against hers, kissing her again as they moved together, locked in the unison of pleasure. He sucked her nipple and she strained towards him.
When he finally came, he gripped her tightly, quivering and shaking as she bore down on him. Then she felt them again, the waves of hot pleasure, building up inside her. But this time there was no hesitation. She abandoned herself to them, surrendering to the rush and release of her orgasm, rocking with Aidan, with the boat, feeling the water swell beneath them, as she gasped for air.
CHAPTER THIRTY
The moment Savvy stepped out of the cab from the airport and found herself in front of the sleek silver façade of the Montrose Bar and Club in Miami Beach, she wanted a drink. Forget that. She wanted two drinks. Ten. She wanted a bottle of tequila and a wrap of pharmaceutical-grade cocaine. She wanted some buffed-up stud of a barman to take her back to his place and throw her down on the bed and . . .
Stop it, she told herself. Take control. Take control right now.
Dr Savage and Red hadn’t been kidding. Getting herself clean out there in Belize had been just the start. Being back here in her own world, and keeping clean . . . well, this was where the battle really began.
It wasn’t just the culture shock of being in the US that was killing her, after having been in the rainforest only hours before, it was much more that she felt as if she’d been spat into an entirely different reality. One as scary as hell. It felt as if a connection with the strong person she’d been had already snapped.
But she was strong, she reminded herself. She could do this. Red had told her that and she had to believe he was telling the truth.
She glanced across at the beach. The sails of luxury yachts littered the horizon. Powerboats churned up the water nearer to the shore. Young guys cruised the streets in their sparkling Ferraris and Porsches. Perfect girls in bikinis sashayed up from the beach, looking tanned, toned and provocative.
Everything looked the same and yet everything had changed. Because she’d changed. Instead of looking enticing, it looked artificial. Its glitz had been permanently tarnished in her eyes. Because she now knew the sordid reality that lurked beneath this fun. Addiction. Self-destruction. It was all still here. Waiting to claim her back.
The Montrose was where she and Paige had spent their first summer together, partying, when they were eighteen, before Paige headed off to college. Savvy had commandeered a free yacht for the season and had flown Paige out from England to join her for a summer of hedonism. It was here that Paige had lost her virginity. Here that Paige had learned to let her hair down. Here that the two of them had laughed until dawn and slept until dusk. This was the only place that Paige could have meant in her message.
But the comfort Savvy expected to feel at this familiar location didn’t come. Instead, she felt jittery with nerves as she stood on the sidewalk with her heavy holdall and watched the cab drive away.
With no access to money other than the stipend Max had given her to cover her journey here, she’d had to travel in the best of her old clothes from Peace River Lodge. She’d always taken such pride in her appearance, knowing what a powerful tool it was, but now she was fully aware of what a mess she looked.
Hanging around with Red in flip-flops and going horse-riding had given her a deep, uneven tan and her nose was still peeling from the last few days she’d spent on the dive boat. And since her make-up had mostly melted or curdled in the tropical heat, she’d had no chance to patch herself up.
She wished she’d had time for a makeover before meeting Paige. Because she wanted to be taken seriously. For Paige to understand the efforts she’d made. To see that she really had changed. And looking like a refugee from Woodstock wasn’t exactly going to help.
Still, Savvy had done her best. She’d put her hair up in a ponytail, but it didn’t hide the fact that it was out of condition and ratty, the ends bleach-blonde and split. And her ripped jeans didn’t look retro, she realized, they looked what they were – dirty last season’s. Even her ‘cool’ T-shirt was unfashionable now, with its faded logo and stained armpits.
As if to rub in her lack of confidence, two girls arrived at the Montrose’s famous red-carpeted entrance. They were both wearing tight, short dresses and high heels and they looked immaculate. Young and immaculate. They were giggling as the doormen un-roped the entrance and let them through, with compliments and smiles. Savvy felt like she looked old enough to be their mum.
But she had bigger worries than just her appearance, she remembered with a sinking sense of dread. She had to find out how things stood with Paige. She had no idea whether their friendship had survived. For all she knew, Paige could easily have come here to tell Savvy that getting her to rehab was her last gesture of friendship and from now on she was on her own – financially and emotionally.
And that would be a disaster.
Because Paige was her only way back in with her father. She needed Paige to smooth the water, to make things OK. To convince Hud that his little girl had come home chastened. Then he might give her back her allowance. Or – hell – let her move into the White House. Anything so long as she didn’t end up walking out of here with nothing but loose change in her pocket.
Savvy took a deep breath and crossed the road towards the familiar entrance to the nightclub, realizing that her old power strut wasn’t possible in Converse sneakers.
The Montrose Bar and Nightclub had had many revamps over the years, but somehow it still managed to be the place to be seen – at least Savvy guessed it was, judging from the number of young studs and babes on display in here.
As she walked through the terrace with its sleek white tables and low lounge beds and the DJ pumping out cool summer beats, she felt more and more out of her comfort zone.
Nobody recognized her. It was as if she were invisible. But then, her face hadn’t been in a magazine or paper in a positive way for over a year and a half and she’d been in rehab for the last two months. Enough time to become a nobody.
She almost lost her nerve and was about to turn round when she saw Paige sitting on one of the high stools over by the long bar at the back of the terrace. Her back was to Savvy, but there was no mistaking that auburn hair, or the tilt of her head, as she listened to the barman, who was polishing a glass and talking intently to her.
How long had it been since she’d last seen Paige? Socially, that w
as? Soberly? Over two years, certainly. Before Elodie’s death. Her memory served up vague flashes of conversations they’d had since then. But all of them were out of focus, obscured by the fug of drink and drugs.
Savvy shuddered, half remembering now the way she’d railed at Paige the last time she’d seen her. Could Paige ever forgive her for the things she’d said? For the appalling way she’d behaved?
She’d spent the first part of her time at Peace River hating Paige, but now she felt so overwhelmed with gratitude for what her friend had done.
Had Paige spoken to Dr Savage? Had he reported back favourably? Was Paige expecting the old Savvy with added fury and resentment? Or something new?
Paige still didn’t turn round or notice Savvy approaching. Savvy couldn’t help smiling at the familiar trill of Paige’s laugh, as she talked to the barman. It was no wonder that Paige was getting chatted up. She looked good. She was wearing funky white trousers, high wedge heels and a halter-neck top which showed off her tanned, freckled shoulders and her glossy hair, which curled sexily in long tresses. In fact, the more Savvy looked, the more amazed she was. When had Paige grown to look so womanly and cool?
She was used to Paige being her sidekick, her frumpy friend, but she could see now that the tables had well and truly turned.
‘Hello, stranger,’ she said, startling Paige.
Paige lowered her glass.
There was a moment as they faced each other when Savvy thought it was over between them. Then Paige slipped off the barstool and stepped forward, pulling Savvy into a tight embrace.
‘Come here,’ Paige said.
Savvy felt tears springing to her eyes.
This was Paige. Her old buddy. The person she’d known for almost all her life. Her rock.
When Paige finally pulled away, Savvy could see that she was emotional too. ‘Let me look at you,’ she said, her green eyes raking over her face for a moment. ‘You look different,’ she concluded. ‘Healthy.’ She lowered her gaze. ‘You’ve put on weight.’
Savvy bit her lip.
‘In a good way,’ Paige hurried on. ‘It’s just that before . . . before you went away . . . you looked . . . well, too thin. Like you were . . .’
‘Halfway to the grave,’ Savvy finished her sentence for her.
‘Can I get you a drink?’ the barman asked. He was polite enough, but Savvy could tell he was annoyed that his time alone with Paige was over. And she saw, too, in his eyes, that he didn’t think enough of Savvy to want to flirt with them both.
‘Mineral water, please,’ she said, without missing a beat.
He looked at Paige. ‘Same again?’ he asked, with a smile.
‘I’m fine,’ Paige said, putting her manicured hand over the top of her mojito glass and glancing at Savvy.
‘You’ve really done it then, you clever girl,’ she said, once the waiter had left them alone. Her smile was genuine but her voice was still nervous. ‘And the other stuff?’
Other stuff. Savvy smiled. So some things, at least, hadn’t changed. Paige was still too prim, too good, to even say the word cocaine out loud.
‘That too,’ Savvy said.
They fell into small talk for a minute or so, about their journeys here. But Savvy wasn’t really concentrating.
Seeing Paige, hearing her voice, smelling her familiar Chanel No. 19 perfume, brought memories flooding back. Giggling in the dorm at school, ducking out to the cinema on a winter’s evening, sobbing into their popcorn. Learning to dive in the pool and having underwater swimming races. Hanging out in cafés, working out strategies for snaring boys. Trying out new hairstyles on one another and taking mountains of clothes into the changing rooms at the most expensive stores they could find. Having their first manicures and pedicures side by side . . .
But the bad memories came straight after. Standing Paige up. Taunting her with Marcus. Mocking her. Excluding her. Making her feel small. Savvy felt a blast of remorse for the horrible person she’d been the last time they’d been together.
‘I’m sorry, Paige,’ she said, cutting her off mid-sentence as Paige started talking about how much the Montrose’s new refurb had cost. ‘You have to know,’ she went on quickly, needing to unburden herself, ‘that I’m sorry I took you for granted. I’m sorry that I said all those things. I didn’t mean them.’
Didn’t mean them? God, that’s only half the truth, Savvy thought. Because the whole truth was that she couldn’t remember half of the things she’d said.
Paige flapped her hand, embarrassed by Savvy’s honesty. ‘I’m just so glad you’re OK.’ Then she laughed, as if thinking of something ironic. She put her hand on her chest, covering the small silver crucifix she always wore.
‘What is it?’ Savvy asked.
‘It’s just that I thought you’d be angry with me.’
‘For tricking me into going to Peace River Lodge?’
Paige pulled a face, waiting for Savvy’s onslaught.
‘I was mad as hell at first,’ Savvy said. ‘But actually, I’ve got to tell you that you did me the biggest favour.’
‘You really mean it?’
Savvy grasped her hand and squeezed it. She didn’t let go. ‘Oh Paige, I found out so much in there. So much about myself. And I honestly feel completely different. About everything. Making me go there . . . Well, you saved my life.’
It was on the tip of her tongue to tell her about Red, but something stopped her. Quite what, she didn’t know. Because nothing physical had happened? Because she still couldn’t find the words to express the deep connection between them? Or simply because Paige was so inexperienced with men – so uninterested – that she wouldn’t understand anyway.
Instead she told Paige all about how difficult the withdrawal had been in the early days. She told her about the other people there and all the therapy sessions she’d had, which had helped her understand her addictive behaviour. She told her about the place itself too – about the beaches and the rainforest and the horses. Everything she missed.
‘Wow,’ Paige said. ‘It sounds pretty intense. But you know, Sav, it’s still early days. You’ll have to go easy on yourself. You’ll still be getting over . . . you know . . .’
‘Elodie,’ Savvy said decisively. She didn’t want Paige to treat her with kid gloves. She didn’t want Paige to think she was still fragile and vulnerable. She wanted her to know that she was strong. ‘It’s OK. We can say her name. And yes, I am still getting over it. I always will be. But I have to carry on. That’s what she would have wanted.’
Paige nodded and was silent for a moment. She twisted the straw in her glass. ‘So have you thought about what you might do now?’ she finally asked.
Savvy shrugged. ‘Concentrate on staying clean is the first thing. But Paige, before all that, I want you to tell me what’s been going on: in Vegas, I mean. With the business. And with Hud?’
She pictured his face when he’d heard that Elodie was dead. Slumped in an armchair, like an inflatable version of himself which was slowly having the air sucked out of it. Like he was heartbroken. Finished.
Even though he’d turned his back on her, she still loved him. And pitied him. Because she’d suffered the same loss and knew just how deep it had cut.
‘Hud’s on his way back from China. With Luc, of course.’
Luc . . .
Savvy had been determined to take Red’s advice, to try to put Luc behind her, to move on. But just hearing his name in the same sentence as her father’s, so cosy and close, working side by side, made her realize how hard that was going to be.
‘China?’ she asked.
‘El Palazzo in Shangri-La. We’ve all been working on it around the clock. We’re going to make a killing, Savvy, and—’
Paige suddenly stopped and put her hands over her mouth. ‘Sorry,’ she said.
Savvy was desperate to hear more of what was going on. But Paige seemed to have remembered something.
‘What?’ she asked.
Paige shook her
head. ‘No, I’m doing what I always do, aren’t I? Talking about the business again.’
‘No, please. Go on . . .’
‘Oh, come on.’ Paige laughed, embarrassed. ‘You don’t want to know about all of that. It must be so boring for you.’
Boring? What on earth did she mean? Paige couldn’t stop now. Savvy had dozens of questions already stacked up in her head. When would they open? How big was El Palazzo going to be? What was Shangri-La like, anyway? And what would it mean for the other parts of the business? What was happening in Vegas? La Paris?
This was her world. The world she’d grown up with. The weird and wonderful world of Michael Hudson. The world Savvy now desperately wanted to belong to again.
But Paige was adamant. ‘No, really. I always do this to you.’ She smiled decisively. ‘Let’s talk about something fun instead. Let’s talk about you.’
She couldn’t believe that Paige was ripping the carpet out from under her, slamming the door to the business in her face, telling her to go hang out in the playground instead.
She should have expected nothing less. More flashes of memory from her wasted past hit Savvy right between the eyes. Enzo Vegas. On Fight Night. Before her whole world had been torn apart. Staring through the glass of the ops room. Peeping behind the curtain of the Wizard of Oz. Making a fool out of that woman – what was her name? Lois Chan. When only twenty minutes later she’d saved the senator’s life. And Senator Fernandez himself. Her crazy plan to seduce him. To win back Hud’s favour, even then.
All that money. All that power. Had she really been cut off from that world for ever?
Savvy had had plenty of time at Peace River to think it through. To prepare herself for the fact that Hud still might not want to see her. To harden herself to the possibility of being cut off financially.