by Iris Morland
Her dreams changed from one about her game to one she couldn’t shake off for the rest of the following morning. She awoke in the same field where she’d shared that funnel cake with Gavin and Emma, but now she was alone. She stood up and looked around, but there was no one to be found. But as she turned, she saw a figure walking toward her, and she knew instantly who it was.
Gavin approached her in measured steps, flattening the grass underneath his feet. Kat waited until he stood only a foot from her. She wondered why dream-Gavin didn’t touch her, and then she wondered why she didn’t touch him, since this was a dream.
He looked handsome, and well rested. The bags under his eyes had disappeared, and he smiled at her with an expression that showed how much he’d wanted to see her. He wasn’t much taller than her, but he was broader, his chest and shoulders muscled. She moved toward him and placed her hands on his chest, feeling his heart beneath her palms.
“Kat,” he said in that low voice that sent shivers down her spine.
Since this was a dream, he kissed her without her asking him to. And since this was a dream, he kissed like a dream, seducing her mouth and causing them both to sink into the grass, where there were no bugs and the grass wasn’t scratchy. Instead, it was soft like rabbit’s fur, and the sun kept them warm but not overheated. Gavin’s hands were all over her body, touching her arms and her neck and breasts and waist, and she moved against him, needing more. She needed everything. She pulled his head down and kissed him, and then he was inside her as quickly as the kissing had begun.
When Kat woke up, she was trembling and sweating. Throwing an arm over her eyes, she groaned. Had she seriously just had a sex dream about Gavin? Of course she had. And she had his daughter in her class to make things even more awkward.
“Fuck me,” she muttered before laughing, because that was exactly what had just happened—in her dream, of course.
2
Gavin shaded his eyes against the bright September sun. The heat of summer still lingered, and the humidity had crept up since this morning, making the air viscous against his skin. It was better than working inside, though, and after his boss back in Boston had given him an ultimatum—either return or find a new job—he’d decided he’d rather find a new job. He’d worked at a construction company, mostly doing administrative work, but it hadn’t been particularly interesting nor fulfilling. Leaving that job for good hadn’t been much of a sacrifice in the long run.
He wiped his forehead and continued hammering at the fence post. After quitting his job, he’d gone straight to Adam to ask for a job at the family vineyard, River’s Bend. Adam had told him he didn’t have any office jobs, but he could help around the vineyard itself if he wanted. Gavin had agreed without protest.
The labor allowed him to stop thinking for once. To stop thinking about Emma, about Teagan, about Emma’s pretty teacher who had been so soft underneath him that bright afternoon back in the spring…
He wondered sometimes if he should’ve kissed her, just to have a smidgeon of pleasure amidst everything that had happened in the last year. Kat represented everything good and beautiful and peaceful, and he hungered for her like he’d never experienced in his entire life.
He hammered the nail into the post harder than necessary. He did not get to fantasize about Kat Williamson. His divorce had only been finalized earlier this summer, and the last thing he should do was get into another relationship. Although his mind reasoned that his marriage had been over for ages anyway, so really, he’d been single for at least three years.
He and Teagan had met in high school and had dated starting their junior year. Bright and sunny with yellow-blonde hair, Teagan had been his dream girl. She’d been a cheerleader, and he’d been shocked when she agreed to go out with him. Adam had always been the popular brother, not Gavin. Gavin was too awkward, too reticent, preferring to keep his nose in a book rather than talk to girls. But Teagan had seen something in him he hadn’t even realized was there, and he’d fallen in love with her by the time they were seniors.
They’d married soon after graduating from college, when they were both twenty-two. There’d been signs that Teagan was struggling: her moods would shift rapidly, high to low without any apparent trigger. Some days she’d spend all day in bed, barely eating or doing much of anything except staring at the wall, practically catatonic with despair. Then other days she’d be her bright, sunny self, and Gavin would hope that she’d remain that way. Everyone had bad days, he’d reasoned. Perhaps she had more bad days than others.
After Emma had been born, though, everything changed. Gavin had watched as his world—his family—had fallen apart, and there'd been nothing he could do to stop it. He’d tried—God knows he’d tried. But the life he thought he’d have with Teagan had slipped through his fingers like sand through a sieve.
That was all in the past, though. He moved down the line of the fence he was repairing, carrying tools and nails as he went. A hawk circled in the sky overhead, and the heat of the sun beat down on his neck and shoulders. It was the first time in a while that he’d felt truly alive.
Nothing like some physical labor to get a man’s blood stirring again.
The day waned on, and as Gavin was about to finish the north side of the fence, he saw Adam walking toward him. He and Adam looked much alike, with their similar height and dark hair. Anyone could tell they were brothers at a swift glance. Adam, though, seemed to radiate happiness lately, and that difference between him and Gavin was stark at times. Adam and his fiancée Joy were getting married around Christmas, and although he had seemed rather overwhelmed with Joy’s attention to various wedding details, he’d been undeniably happy. The love between them was obvious to anyone with eyes.
Gavin rather envied his brother at the moment. Hell, he’d envied—and not understood—Adam since they’d been kids.
“There you are,” Adam said as he approached. His face was creased in concern, which put Gavin on high alert. “Why the hell do you never answer your phone?”
“I didn’t bring it out here with me.”
Adam sighed. “Well, just as well. I got a call from the school. There’s been an incident with Emma.”
Gavin’s blood ran so cold he was certain icicles were dripping from his fingers. God, how many times had he heard those words in regards to Emma’s mother? There’s been an incident. Something’s happened. You need to come right away.
“Jesus Christ, why are you just standing there? I have to go.” Gavin dropped everything into the grass and jogged back to the main building of the vineyard, not caring if Adam followed or not. His mind raced with every possibility: Had Emma been injured? Had she hurt herself? Oh God, what if she’d done something like what Teagan had done…?
“Hey, Gavin.” Adam curled a hand around his arm to stop him before he entered the building. “You didn’t let me finish. She’s okay, but the nurse said she probably should go home.”
Gavin panted. Adam’s words helped the panic subside, but only slightly. He pulled his arm from his brother’s grip. It was stupid, but he wanted to rail at Adam, demand to know why he hadn’t cared when Gavin and his family had been splintering apart, with Teagan descending further into her bipolar disorder. But he kept his mouth shut, because it didn’t matter.
Emma was what mattered.
“I have to go,” he said gruffly, stalking off. He grabbed his things from inside and then drove to the school without even seeing where he was going, his heartbeat racing a mile a minute. He tried to get himself to climb off of the ledge, but it was almost impossible.
After Emma had discovered Teagan lying on the cold bathroom floor, having overdosed from too many painkillers, the young girl had struggled. Gavin had seen it, and his heart broke at how his daughter had retreated into herself. That had been the last straw. He’d told Teagan she needed to get help, and she’d finally broken down and realized the same, but not before insisting they get a divorce.
“You deserve to be free, find a new l
ife for yourself,” she’d said, her face drawn and pained. “I haven’t been the wife or mother you both needed.”
He parked his truck and practically ran inside the school. The elementary wing was on the south side, and he barreled down the mostly deserted hallways. Adam had said something about the nurse, so he would go there first.
When he entered the nurse’s station, he didn’t see Emma at first. He saw a teenage boy icing his elbow and another young girl crying as a woman placed a bandage on her knee. Then he saw her, and his knees almost gave out underneath him.
“Emma,” he breathed. He kneeled in front of her, taking her hands, which were like ice. “Emma, what happened?”
The girl had wedged herself into a corner, like if she curled in on herself enough, she could disappear. Her big blue eyes stared at Gavin, and her gaze reminded him so much of Teagan his heart clenched. He rubbed her fingers. “Emma, sweetheart, talk to me.”
The nurse came over. “You’re Mr. Danvers, yes?”
He stood up. “Yes, I am. Do you know what happened? Is she all right?”
The nurse, a woman in her forties with graying hair, pursed her lips at his question. “She was found by a teacher in one of the supply closets. She wasn’t present when the children were counted after lunch.”
“And you didn’t think to inform me that my daughter had disappeared?”
“By the time we realized she was gone, she’d been discovered.” The woman glanced at Emma behind him. “She refused to tell me or anyone else what had happened, or why she decided to go hiding.” Her voice lowered, but not low enough that everyone else in the small room couldn’t hear her. “Have you thought about some kind of…assistance with her? She’s, well, she’s a bit odd, no?”
By this point, Gavin was seeing red. He knew he couldn’t strangle a nurse—no matter how much he wanted to—so instead, he said in a low voice, “My daughter is not odd, and you can keep your opinions to yourself, ma’am.” He turned and took Emma’s hand. “Let’s go home, sweetheart.”
The nurse didn’t say anything as they left the room, except to harrumph under her breath, like they’d tracked mud through her living room.
Emma followed, not letting go of his hand. She’d once been a happy, vibrant child, but she’d become so shy and reticent as of late that Gavin was at a loss as to what to do. Oh, he’d taken her to all the requisite therapists after Teagan’s overdose, but they’d made the situation worse. Emma would refuse to speak for days after each session, sometimes hiding underneath the stairwell or her bed, Gavin discovering her and having to coax her out like a terrified animal. It was almost like she was a shy toddler instead of a second grader, hiding behind Gavin more often than not.
As he hurried Emma out, he saw a flash of bright green, and then Kat Williamson was walking toward them, concern etched in her expression.
“Mr. Danvers, good, I’m so glad to see you.” She softened her voice as she addressed Emma. “How are you feeling?”
Emma pressed her face into Gavin’s arm. He touched her shoulder. “Answer the question, please.”
She blinked those large blue eyes, rather like a snowy owl. “I’m okay,” she whispered.
Kat didn’t seem remotely convinced. Her gaze returned to Gavin, and he drank her in. He couldn’t help it: from her dark, curly hair to her bright magenta lips to her green dress with boots, she was pretty as a picture. Her skin glowed, even under the fluorescent lighting of the school, and he had a distinct feeling it was as soft as it looked.
“Can I talk to you privately for a second?” she asked.
He mostly just wanted to get home with his daughter, but he told Emma to go sit on a nearby bench, handing her his phone to play games on.
“Did they tell you I was the one who found her?” When his eyes widened, she made a noise in the back of her throat. “Figures. But I thought you’d like to know what happened, or at least what I could glean before they took her away to the nurse’s office.”
She looked around and drew him to a more private corner, although he could still keep an eye on Emma as they talked.
He closed his eyes for a moment, feeling weary to his bones. When would things turn around? When could he catch a breath for once?
“Hey, you okay?” Kat touched his arm.
Her touch sent an electric charge through his body, and he opened his eyes to see her looking at him with an expression of concern. His gut twisted. It was an expression he’d seen too much of in the last year.
“Tell me what happened,” he said, even though there was a small, cowardly part of him that almost didn’t want to know the answer.
AFTER FINISHING her lunch in the teacher’s lounge, Kat had headed to the restroom before returning to her classroom for the rest of the afternoon. As she passed a supply closet, she noticed that the door was cracked open, but there was no janitor in sight. She knew the cleaning staff never left the door unlocked or open in case kids wandered inside and played with things they shouldn’t, and as she was about to shut the door, she saw movement in the corner.
Her heart stuttered. A rat? Maybe a raccoon that had gotten in last night? Or had a kid gotten inside? She walked in, flicking on the light overhead, and scanned the room. She saw a flash of pink in the corner. Kat was about to reprimand whoever had decided playing in the supply closet had been a good idea when she saw that the child in question was huddled on the floor, her head in between her knees, completely still and quiet, even as Kat approached.
“Emma,” she breathed, kneeling in front of her. She touched her shoulder gently so as not to startle the girl, who looked up but didn’t say anything. “Emma, what are you doing in here?”
Emma stared at her, like she didn’t understand the words. The girl’s face was pale and tear-streaked.
“Come on, let’s get out of here,” Kat coaxed. She tried to draw Emma up, but the girl pulled away and curled in on herself.
Kat was at a loss. Should she carry Emma from the room? But surely that would only make things worse. The girl looked like she’d seen a ghost or something.
“Emma, we need to get out of here. This isn’t a nice place to talk.”
Emma shook her head and mumbled something under her breath. Kat leaned toward her, trying to make out the girl’s words.
“Can’t leave,” Emma mumbled over and over to herself. “It’s not safe.”
Now Kat was on high alert. She pulled out her phone and texted Silas to let him know what was going on before sitting down in front of Emma, taking her hands from her face. “What’s not safe? Can you tell me?”
Emma just shook her head.
“Maybe we can figure out how to stay safe together, if you’ll tell me.”
Emma looked embarrassed suddenly, biting her lower lip as she gazed up at Kat. Kat waited, hoping she’d tell her what was wrong so Kat could figure out how to help. But instead, Emma just hugged her knees tighter and kept shaking her head over and over again. When she started crying and telling Kat she wanted her dad, Kat knew she couldn’t do anything else for her. She was able to get her to stand so she could take her to the nurse’s office.
Now, standing in front of Gavin, Kat struggled to find the words to explain what she’d seen. She didn’t really know, if she was honest. She’d never seen a child so petrified, like she’d scream at her own shadow. She glanced at Emma sitting on the bench, seemingly normal and unafraid now.
“When I found her in the closet, it was like she was in shock,” Kat explained. “She kept saying something about it not being safe. I don’t know what happened, or what she saw.”
Gavin’s face was drawn, and he looked absolutely exhausted. She knew his divorce had been finalized in the last few months; she couldn’t imagine having to care for a daughter who seemed so scared all the time.
She restrained herself from reaching out and taking his hand, reassuring him. He seemed so lonely standing there in front of her, like the weight of the world was on his shoulders.
“Did sh
e say anything else to you?” His voice was almost toneless.
“Not really. When she started crying, I took her straight to the nurse. I didn’t know what else to do.” She hesitated a moment before asking, “Has this happened before?”
He sighed, pushing a hand through his dark hair, which had grown long and almost unruly lately. He still wore a beard, but it only emphasized his high cheekbones and chiseled jaw. Kat had never had an opinion about guys having facial hair or not, but she had to admit, it worked on Gavin Danvers.
“Emma hasn’t been the same since we left Boston. Not since her mother…” He shook his head. “She’s had episodes like this, where she hides and refuses to come out. But when I try to get her to tell me what happened, she says nothing happened.”
Kat frowned. “It just happens out of the blue?”
He shrugged. “As far as I can tell. I think it may be linked to what happened with her mother.” He grimaced, his expression darkening. “Actually, I know it is. There’s no other reason for it.”
Kat almost asked what had happened with his ex-wife, but she stopped herself. It was none of her business. She’d heard whispers that Teagan Danvers had had issues, but nothing beyond that. Besides, Kat was hardly family or even a close friend. She was Emma’s teacher, and that was it. She didn’t have a right to pry, no matter how much she wanted to understand not only the situation, but the man in front of her.
Gavin leaned against the wall. “I can’t do this again,” he murmured, almost to himself.
God, her heart broke for this man. She knew all too well what it felt like to watch loved ones hurt and not be able to do anything about it. She’d been the one to take care of her mom in her final days. She imagined Gavin had cared for Teagan in a similar way, giving up on his own hopes and dreams to try to keep another person living just another day. One more day, one more hour, one more minute, your life passed you by because another person needed you more.