Heron's Landing: The Complete Series

by Iris Morland

  So, no, she couldn’t very well throw herself at the next available man, even if he was delicious, and kind, and kissed like a god. Holly groaned, slumping to the floor. She relived those kisses, over and over again, until she wanted to scratch out her very brain. If only he had been a terrible kisser! All slobbery and with bad breath.

  It would be her luck that a man like Matt would be the one to save her, wouldn’t it?

  She lay on the floor, staring up at the ceiling. Dawn was finally approaching, and rays of light shown through the windows as the sun rose. She glanced out the window. The snow was slowing down, and soon, Matt would take her back to her car, and she’d get on her way. To where, she wasn’t really sure. Kansas City had been a vague destination, one that had seemed far, far away from Sam and Louisiana.

  She rubbed her eyes. She wanted to stay here, with Matt, but how could she? What if Sam showed up at his doorstep? Or what if her infamous bad judgment revealed that Matt wasn’t as great a guy as she’d thought?

  Okay, yes, he was a cop. And he’d helped her without even asking for anything, and he’d stopped touching her when she’d freaked out. And he hadn’t run after her when she’d run out of his bedroom, yelling at her that she was a tease. He hadn’t done anything that would make her think he was like Sam.

  And yet…

  Holly sighed. Her heart slowed down, until she felt like she could breathe again, but her body tingled despite her best efforts. She pressed a finger against her lip; she closed her eyes.

  She’d give herself five minutes: five minutes to relive Matt’s kisses and touch. Going to her bag, she pulled out her phone and set the timer. Then she got onto the guest bed, lay down, and remembered. She remembered his smell, and how he said her name in that husky voice of his, and how he’d tempted her with kisses that had been seduction itself. How his weight had felt on top of her; how he’d touched her—so gently, almost reverently. How he’d tasted of beer and what she’d come to recognize as Matt. Matt, Matt, Matt.

  The timer sounded. She picked up her phone, silencing it, before closing her eyes and wishing she knew what to do next.

  THE SNOW HAD STOPPED COMPLETELY by morning. Holly ventured downstairs early in the morning, but when Matt had entered the kitchen, she’d turned coward and scampered back to her room.

  Now, though, she was starving, and she needed coffee rather desperately. Going back downstairs, she didn’t see Matt at all, until she rounded the corner and saw that he was digging out his driveway. She watched him for a moment, his arms and shoulders strong, his nose red from the cold. He’d already made a serious dent in the snow, although she couldn’t imagine he’d be able to clear his entire driveway—a seemingly endless driveway that finally emptied onto the country road west of it—but then again, he was a determined man. She had a feeling he could manage just about anything if he set his mind to it.

  Arya came up then and nosed at her hand, the coldness of the dog’s nose startling her. She laughed, and Arya barked as Sansa joined her.

  “Come on, you two. Let’s get me some food before I end up doing something really stupid.”

  Holly made herself some scrambled eggs with a steaming cup of coffee. She listened to the house creak, the dogs woofing softly at her feet, and she could hear Matt shoveling snow as she ate. She didn’t know what she was going to say when he came inside. Sorry, we shouldn’t have kissed? Sorry, I’m an idiot? Sorry, you’re a good guy but I’m a mess?

  She reached down and gave the dogs a bite of egg, which they received with the expected doggy enthusiasm. “What the hell am I doing?” she asked them. They just wagged their tails in unison.

  Matt finally came back inside before lunchtime, sweaty and smelling like a man who’d gotten in a good workout. Holly rather loved that smell, and her heart thrilled when he walked past her in the kitchen. His dark hair was mussed, his shoulders rippling beneath his shirt that had been under his thick coat. He filled a glass of water without saying anything to her, drinking one glass and then another in quick gulps.

  She got down from her stool, about to let him be alone, but his voice stopped her.

  “We better go get your car.”

  She turned to look at him. He didn’t seem particularly fazed, and for some reason, that irritated her. Shouldn’t he feel as awkward as she after what had happened? Or did he just not care? She gripped her mug of coffee harder.

  “Do you think that’s a good idea? Can we even get out of here?” She raised an eyebrow.

  “I have four-wheel drive, and they’ll have plowed the road. It’ll be snow-packed, but not impassable. Are you okay driving, though?”

  She wanted to tell him the last thing she wanted to do was drive on snow-packed country roads, but he didn’t seem particularly inclined to have her stay as a guest. Her shoulders slumped. She couldn’t really blame him. Here she was, telling him to leave her alone one moment, and the next, she was practically throwing herself at him. Would she never learn?

  “I’ll go get my stuff.”

  She tossed her things into her bag and met him outside. When he handed her his coat, she balked.

  “It’s an old one,” he explained over her protestations. “Take it. I’m not going to let you go off without a coat, Holly.”

  The drive to her car was slow, Matt taking his time, and Holly inhaled his scent with every breath. She wished she could say something to break the tension, but what could she do? But when she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, she saw that he was frowning, and her initial frustration with him melted away like so much snow against the hot car.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, not looking at him. “I’ve given you so much trouble. But I appreciate everything you’ve done, for what it’s worth.”

  He took a deep breath, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel. “You don’t have to apologize. It was my fault as much as yours.”

  She opened her mouth to deny that, but then she thought better of it. She chewed her lip, wishing she could find the right words to explain…everything.

  “When I first met Sam, I thought he was amazing,” she said softly. She could see Matt stiffen, but he didn’t tell her to stop talking, either. “He was like a whirlwind, you know? All emotion and energy. That night, I had told him that I’d never had a pet growing up, and he thought that was a great tragedy. I laughed at his antics. But the next morning, he showed up at my door with a tiny kitten with a ribbon wrapped around its neck.” Holly sighed at the memory. “I had no idea how to take care of a kitten, and I didn’t have the money for it, either. But the gesture was so sweet that I knew right then and there that I’d fallen in love with him.”

  Matt was still tapping his fingers against the steering wheel. “Where’s the cat now?”

  Holly looked out the window at the snow-covered land. “After I moved in with Sam, he constantly complained about the cat. He hated it. It got fur all over his stuff, and it howled at night, and he told me that if I didn’t get rid of it, he would.” She wiped her eyes at the memory. “So I had to take it to a shelter, because Sam didn’t want it anymore.”

  “That’s a shitty thing to make someone do.”

  “Yes, it was. But I’m telling you this because I don’t have good judgment. I think a person is good, and safe, and kind, but they always turn out to be something else as time passes. No matter how hard I look, I somehow end up being wrong.” Her eyes watered; she told herself it was from the brightness of the sun against the white snow. “I’m just too screwed up,” she finally said into the quiet.

  Matt was silent. She didn’t know if he understood her, or if he thought she was being ridiculous, or if he didn’t care. She wanted him to say something, though. What was he thinking? Did he regret what had happened this morning?

  “The problem with your story,” he said quietly, “is that you’re blaming yourself for other people’s actions. Judgment is one thing, but expecting others to act decently doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.”

  S
he looked at him now, memorizing the lines of his face. His dear, handsome face. He turned so their gazes met.

  “Don’t let that hope in others ever leave you, because as a cop, I can tell you that it’s a difficult thing to hold onto,” he said.

  They fell silent as they approached her car. She helped him dig it out, as it was covered in so much snow that you’d almost miss it if you weren’t looking for it. The work gave her a respite from her thoughts, although she couldn’t help but watch as Matt worked.

  Finally, they’d cleared the snow enough that he could replace the flat tire, although she had to help him get her stuff out of the trunk so he could get to the spare. He changed the tire so quickly she hadn’t even realized he was done until he started placing her things back inside the car.

  She got inside, feeling tears press at her eyelids. This was goodbye, wasn’t it? She didn’t know where she could even go, not really. She only had a little money. Biting the inside of her cheek, she forced herself not to cry like a baby in front of Matt. He’d done enough. He didn’t have to save her from this, too.

  “Follow me, okay?” he said before she closed the car door.

  She nodded, not sure why she needed to follow him, but she supposed it could get easy to get lost in all of this snow.

  They drove slowly, Holly following two cars behind him as he’d advised her. She cranked up the heat in her car, glad that she’d filled up her gas tank not long ago. She turned on the radio, but the cheery sound of Christmas music only made her more depressed. Switching it off, she decided that silence was better than a false attempt at cheer.

  As they drove down the road, she watched as Matt turned. She followed, frowning. Why was he taking her back to his house? Had she forgotten something? She drove very slowly behind him until she reached his garage. She parked her car and got out at the same time he did.

  “What is it?” She walked up to him, confusion marring her features. “Did I forget something?”

  He glanced at her, surprised. “Did you really think I was going to let you go on your own when your ex could be following you?” His voice seemed incredulous, like she’d just told him the moon was really made of cheese.

  She blinked. Well, she had thought that, hadn’t she? “Why?” was all she could say.

  “Holly, I’m a cop. I’m going to help you get away from this guy.” He touched her arm, his expression gentle. “I’m not going to give you a cat and then force you to get rid of it.”

  It didn’t make any sense, not really, and yet, those words sent a thrill through her. A thrill that soon transformed into tears that wouldn’t stop flowing. Matt had turned away from her already, and she was glad of that. She didn’t want him to see how weak she really was. She wanted him to think she could handle herself, no matter what happened.

  They entered the house, the dogs barking, and Holly hugged herself. She hoped her judgment was right this time. She hoped it so hard that her heart almost burst.

  Seeing Matt look at her, a small smile on his face, she could almost tell herself everything would be okay. She didn’t need to be afraid anymore.

  “Thank you.” She took his hands, smiling up at him. “Thank you for everything.”

  He seemed to want to reach out to touch her face, but he didn’t. He stood back, nodded, and went into the kitchen without so much as a backwards glance.

  5

  When Matt drove Holly back to her car, he’d wrestled with what he should do. Should he let her go, never see her again, and hope for the best? He had a feeling that was what she thought she should do. What claim did she have on him, and vice versa?

  But his honor clawed at him, and he knew that he couldn’t let her go with her ex out there, the ex that could—and very likely would—hurt her given half the chance. Matt was a police officer and had access to things that a normal citizen wouldn’t. What kind of a man would let a woman like Holly leave as he sat back and did nothing?

  So after he’d changed her tire and they’d driven back to his place, he told her that he wouldn’t let her leave until she was safe to do so. The look of surprise on her face had both amused and frustrated him. It also saddened him that she automatically expected that people wouldn’t help her, at least nothing beyond the essentials.

  He watched as she went back inside his house. He decided to make some calls, find out as much as he could about Sam. Refusing to let Holly drive away was something any man with a conscience would do. It had nothing to do with how much he wanted her, or how he couldn’t stop thinking about how she’d felt against him last night.

  He grimaced at the memory while his body heated. He shouldn’t think about it; he should let it go. But her kisses and her moans would stay with him for years to come. She’d awakened something in him, something that wasn’t just lust, but something that he hadn’t felt since he’d first met Melanie. That desire for connection, for a relationship, for love.

  He shook himself. He couldn’t do this. He could help Holly, but nothing beyond that. When she was safe, he’d let her go.

  “I’m going to get some work done,” he told her as she sat down with a cup of coffee in the living room. “I’m going to call some guys, get some information about that ex of yours. What’s his last name?”

  Holly hesitated, but eventually she gave in. “Sam Gantry, born in Chicago on August 1, 1981,” she rattled off. “I can give you his social security number, his phone number, address—the works.”

  Matt pulled out his notepad and scribbled down everything she told him, making mental notes as he did so. He knew that restraining orders were just pieces of paper, but it would be a start. If he could pull some strings and get one processed before Christmas, it would be a miracle.

  “Did you ever report his assaults to the police down in Louisiana?”

  She grimaced. “Only once. The neighbors called the cops on us that last time, and I gave them a statement. They took me back to the station for photos and stuff, but he ended up not getting out on bail.” She rolled her eyes. “Go figure.”

  Matt grunted. He was all too aware of how these guys somehow managed to avoid jail time. It didn’t help that these cases often ended up as he-said, she-said, ignoring the fact that women lying about domestic violence was extremely rare.

  He took some more notes and then headed upstairs. He knew a few guys down in Louisiana, one of whom he’d worked with his first year on the force. Calling up Dan, Matt gave him the details of the case, asking him if he could look further into Sam Gantry’s rap sheet. If they could hang the guy on any charge, Matt would take it. He didn’t care if it was jaywalking—anything would do. Anything to keep him from coming after Holly and enacting revenge for her leaving.

  “It says here that this guy was arrested for public intoxication just a week ago,” Dan said in his Southern drawl. “He got out on bail, but he has a court date for mid-January.”

  “Can the date be pushed up?”

  Dan snorted. “I’m not a judge, dude, but based on all of this, Ms. Cook can definitely file a restraining order, no problem. That would at least be a start.”

  “And what happens when this guy decides he doesn’t give two shits about a piece of paper saying to stay 500 feet away?”

  “We all know it’s just a detail, but at least if he gets close, you can arrest him.” Dan was typing in the background. “I’ll get you the paperwork here in an hour, and then if you get her signature, we can hopefully get this done before everything closes down for Christmas.”

  “Thanks, Dan. I really appreciate it.”

  “This woman must have really made an impression on you.”

  Matt stared at his keyboard, unsure how to respond. Finally, he just said, “Just trying to help someone down on her luck.”

  Dan didn’t contradict him, and they said their goodbyes. Within the hour, Dan sent over the paperwork, and Matt went straight downstairs to have Holly sign them.

  “I know it’s not a huge thing,” he said, almost apologetically, “but at l
east if he gets close, we can do something about it.”

  She nodded, her face drawn, signing the documents without comment. But as he was about to go upstairs, she touched his arm. “Thank you. For everything.”

  He smiled. “Just doing my job, madam.”

  She didn’t smile back, though, and his heart hurt seeing it. After he sent everything back to Dan, his fellow officer assured him he’d do everything in his power to get everything completed before Christmas. It was all Matt could do for the time being, at any rate.

  The day dragged on, and it was evening when Holly knocked at his office door. “Doing okay up here?”

  He turned toward her, and he once again marveled how lovely she was. That creamy skin, and red hair, and her flushed cheeks. The dogs sat on their haunches next to her, and he couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to have her around all the time. As a girlfriend, fiancée. Wife. He pushed that thought way back, knowing it could never happen.

  “Dan told me that he should get everything to the judge and we’ll have that restraining order finally.” Matt got up and pet Arya behind her ears. “But I think you should stay here for the time being.”

  “So you’ll keep me locked up in a tower for the rest of my life?” Holly smiled sadly.

  “No, but if you’re alone, and Sam finds you, what happens then?” Matt pushed a hand through his hair. “How will you protect yourself?”

  “I just won’t let him find me.”

  “Do you really think it’s that easy? Holly, I’ve seen what happens on these cases. I’ve seen the aftermath. These guys don’t just give up.” He stared at her, trying to get her to see sense. “If you get hurt on my watch, I’ll never forgive myself.”

  To his surprise, Holly embraced him, laying her face against his chest. “You don’t have to protect the entire world,” she murmured. “I knew what I was facing when I left him. I knew that he’d be more dangerous as a result.” Looking up at him, she said, “You can’t keep everyone safe, and I can’t stay here forever.”