by Iris Morland
He wrapped his arms around her. “If you staying here forever is what needs to happen, then that’s what I’ll do.”
She shook her head, but she didn’t tell him no, either.
She eventually pulled away. “You know what we need to do?”
He raised an eyebrow.
“Put up your Christmas tree. How is it that it’s two days from Christmas and you haven’t put anything up?”
He hadn’t even thought about Christmas decorations this year, if he were being honest. Melanie had always done them. But this year, he hadn’t been thinking about Melanie, or Christmas.
He’d been thinking about Holly.
Holly had somehow managed to find the Christmas tree and ornaments stacked in the basement, and he helped her haul them up the stairs. He took the tree from her and tossed it over his shoulders, the dogs barking at their antics.
“You realize this will all be coming down in three days, right?” he said as they went into the living room.
She just grinned. “You’re such a party pooper. Now get that tree out of the box and we’ll get this place looking like Christmas.”
Holly’s enthusiasm was infectious, he had to admit. He helped her put the tree together, a plastic thing from Walmart he’d bought ages ago, and although it looked rather scraggly, he enjoyed helping Holly decorate it. Turning on some Christmas music, they hung the tree with lights as Arya and Sansa attempted to help. When only some of the lights even turned on, Holly laughed.
“That is the saddest looking tree I’ve ever seen.”
“Hey, it’s been through a lot,” Matt said as he fiddled with the lights. “Be nice to it.”
“I’m not sure it’s going to make much of a difference.”
They finally got enough lights on there to make it look like a real Christmas tree, and then began the arduous task of hanging ornaments. For the most part, Matt only had plastic colored balls, but he had a few sentimental ornaments from his childhood that his mom had given him in the years past.
Holly held up a basketball ornament. “Yours?”
“Of course. Oh, and this one.” He held up a snowman police officer, which just made Holly laugh.
Seeing Holly laughing and happy, Matt could only wish this would last. How had he fallen so hard for someone he’d just met a day before? But that was surely madness, wasn’t it? He was probably just projecting; he was lonely; he hadn’t had sex in too long. Once she left, he’d get his head back on straight, and he could get back to his life.
Holly made them both hot chocolate spiked with peppermint schnapps, and they sipped their mugs as they gazed at the Christmas tree. “Let It Snow” came on the radio, and if Matt closed his eyes, he could almost imagine they were a real family.
Looking down at Holly, he couldn’t help but reach out and touch her. Feel the silk of hair, and see her eyes widen slightly. Her lips parted, and when she didn’t pull away, he kissed her. She tasted like peppermint.
He kissed her as the music flowed around them and the lights flickered and as his heart pounded and told him that he’d be a fool to let her go.
“I want you to stay,” he murmured against her mouth. “Stay with me, Holly.”
“Oh, Matt.”
“I know you think you can’t, or you think you have to leave. You don’t. We have something here. I know you feel it as much as I do.”
She looked at her feet, biting her lip. Matt’s heart pounded, waiting for her answer.
“I want to, but I just can’t.” She sighed. “I wish I could, though.”
He didn’t understand her answer. He wanted to rail at her. Was she still in love with her ex? No, that wasn’t it. She thought she deserved to be alone? That made the most sense, perhaps.
He grabbed her hand. “At least think about it.”
She stilled. She didn’t pull away, but she didn’t say anything, either.
They both went to their separate bedrooms that night, although both dogs followed Holly into her room before Matt got them to come with him. He and Holly didn’t say much of anything else that evening. With the restraining order still not complete, he’d told her she should stay put for now, to which she’d nodded and agreed.
Now, Matt lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling. He couldn’t sleep, not with Holly just a few doors away, lying in her own bed. Was this love? He didn’t know. He’d loved Melanie, but that had been a slow, almost easy-going kind of love, a love that had left its sting but hadn’t broken him. This, though, whatever this was with Holly? It didn’t compare. It was like trying to compare a candle with a fiery blaze.
Finally, he fell asleep, dreaming of Holly and her bright red hair. He didn’t know how long he’d fallen asleep when something woke him up. A movement? A sound? His heart beating fast, he told himself he’d been dreaming, but he couldn’t get the thought that something had happened out of his mind.
When he rose from the bed and flipped on his lamp, Sansa woofed quietly. Both dogs got up to help him investigate, their tails wagging. He looked at the clock: 3:05 AM. The sun wouldn’t rise for some hours yet, of course. He yawned, considering getting something to drink.
Passing by Holly’s room, he almost knocked on her door. But he’d be a huge jerk to wake her up, and besides, what would he say? “I woke up for some reason and decided to wake you up, too?” He pressed his ear against her door, and to his surprise, it wasn’t latched. The door swung open, creaking, and he winced.
He waited for Holly to wake up, ask him what the hell he was doing, but the light from his own room filtering into the hallway showed that Holly’s room was empty. Arya got up onto the bed and began digging in the sheets before curling up where Holly had been sleeping.
He flipped on the light, and he saw that her coat and boots were gone. His heart pounding, he raced downstairs, calling out her name. “Holly! Holly, where are you?” He knew the answer, but he wanted to make sure. Maybe she’d moved to the living room. Maybe she was sleepwalking. Maybe a meteor had hit earth and he was in some alternate universe.
He went straight into the garage, and seeing Holly’s car was gone, he cursed a blue streak. The restraining order wasn’t even complete, and she’d decided to take off? Arya came up beside him and nosed at his hand.
“She’s gone, buddy,” he said in a low voice. “I guess she couldn’t stay here any longer.”
Anger surged through him. Not so much at her, but at the situation. What if her ex found her? What if he traced her to her destination and hurt her? Matt had to push away the panic, but he knew the fear was justified. Sam was a dangerous man—so why had Holly left in the first place?
He tried calling her, but he got no answer. He left a voicemail—Please call me back right away—and then sent her a text asking her to do the same. Finally, unable to calm himself, he got dressed, grabbed his gear, and set off to find her.
Driving to the main road, he stopped to see if he could tell which direction she’d gone, but there were too many tracks already in the snow. He decided to go north, which had been her original direction in the first place. This country road lasted for some miles before branching out into two highways: one that continued north, and the other that went east or west. Would she still continue on to Kansas City, or would she try another route?
Gripping the steering wheel, Matt only prayed that he caught up to her before her ex did.
6
A s Holly got ready for bed and wondered what the hell she was going to do next, she heard her phone ring. The number was Unknown; seeing it, her heart pounded. She’d changed her number a second time since leaving Louisiana, but had Sam found her anyway?
She let the call go to voicemail. They didn’t leave a message, but they kept calling. And calling. Then the texts started pouring in. Where the fuck r u, what the fuck is wrong w u, do u rly think ur getting away?
She knew exactly who it was. Sam. He’d found her. She didn’t know how, but if he’d gotten her phone number, could he find her location, too? She didn’t
know what he was capable of.
Her phone rang once again, but she didn’t pick up. She was about to turn her phone off and toss it into the snow when she got another text message: I know where u r. U can come back, or u will be sorry. U and everyone around u.
She started trembling. If Sam had found out about the restraining order, she was in deep, deep shit. He’d take that as a challenge to find her and hurt her, only to prove that he could. She knew the statistics, and she knew that abusers were often more dangerous after you left them than when you stayed. She’d been so stupid, she realized, trying to stifle a sob. How could she really have thought that Sam would leave her alone?
But it was the last text message that made her shake so hard her teeth chattered: Come outside Holly. I know ur in there. I saw u putting up that Christmas tree. U already find another guy to do what u want?
He was here. He was here. How was he here? She listened, shaking, and she knew that if she told Matt, Sam would go ballistic. He’d kill Matt—and she knew Matt was a cop, but he wasn’t impervious to bullets, either—and then what?
She waited until Matt went into his bedroom and shut the door. Then she put on the coat he’d given her and stuffed her feet into her boots, her body still trembling. She didn’t cry, though. The tears had all dried up ages ago. She stepped quietly down the stairs and out the backdoor. Walking toward the snow-covered field in the back of the house, she knew that Sam would find her.
He always did.
“Look who finally came out to play.” His voice was silky, seemingly calm.
Holly turned to see the man she thought she’d loved standing in front of her: with his shaggy blond hair and blue eyes, he seemed harmless enough. He looked more like a surfer, the type who preferred sun and sand rather than hurting his girlfriends. But he had a dark side, which Holly was all too aware of.
She hugged herself close, her breath puffing in the cold. “What do you want?”
“Not even a hug? I came all the way here for you and you act like this?”
“I didn’t ask you to come here.” She tipped her chin up. “How did you find me anyway?”
Sam shrugged. “It was easy enough once I got your phone number. GPS is a handy thing, you know. And you are aware your phone bill is still attached to my account, right?” At her expression, he laughed. “So it was just a case of using ‘find your phone’ and voila! There you are.” He patted her arm, like she was a silly child. “At least you tried, darling.”
She shook off his hand. “I don’t want anything to do with you. Haven’t you figured that out by now? We’re over. We were over when you tried to choke me.”
He frowned. “That was an accident. I didn’t mean to hurt you, but you made me so mad. Come on, don’t hold a grudge against me. We’ve both fucked up.”
“I’ve never tried to choke you, Sam.”
His eyes narrowed, and Holly knew she was playing with fire. If she got him angry enough, there was no telling what he’d do. “It’s freezing out here, and you really want to argue the details?” He grabbed her arm, and she almost shouted for Matt. But Sam gripped her tighter and hissed in her ear, “Make another sound, and your new boyfriend is dead. You think he’ll really save you? I’ll shoot him through the heart before you can scream.” He shook her like a rag doll. “Now shut up and come with me.”
She saw that Sam hadn’t driven himself as they got to the garage. He demanded her keys, which she handed over with a great amount of reluctance.
“How did you get here?” she couldn’t help but ask.
“I drove, but then I hitched a ride out here. Wouldn’t want to be traced, and besides, using your car will make it look like you left on your own.” Sam didn't turn on the engine, but instead put the car in neutral and slowly backed out of the driveway. It wasn’t until they were some distance from the house that he turned the car on, and heat filled the vehicle. It didn’t help Holly’s shaking, but at least she wouldn’t freeze to death.
“Now,” Sam said as he smiled over at her, “where should we go?”
“You don’t know?”
He made a face, and before she could react, he slapped her across the face. Her cheek stinging, she bit her lip to keep from crying.
“You talk like that to me again, and you’ll get worse.” Sam turned so they headed north, and Holly prayed that Matt would find them before they got too far.
BEFORE THEY’D DRIVEN MORE than a few miles, Sam had forced Holly to hand over her phone. He tossed it out the window into the snow, smiling over at her as he did so.
“We can’t have you using that, now can we?”
Now they were at a rest stop, hundreds of miles away from Matt, and Holly desperately looked for a way to contact him. But there were no payphones, and she didn’t have any money anyway. While Sam was in the bathroom, she considered running, but where could she go in all of this snow? Besides, Sam would catch her before she’d run a mile.
She considered, her mind whirling. What was Sam even planning? Would he kill her? She didn’t know at this point, but she was well aware that Sam was unpredictable. As a last ditch effort, Holly ripped off a part of the coat—Matt’s coat—and tied it to the light pole next to the only entrance to the rest stop. She had no idea if Matt would even come this way, but it was better than nothing.
She was sitting in the car by the time Sam returned. He got inside the car and they drove away, neither of them saying anything. Holly was so tired that she couldn’t even feel fear anymore. Her cheek still hurt, though, from where Sam had slapped her, and it served as a reminder that no matter their history, she wasn’t safe with this man.
They drove into the night. As dawn approached, they finally stopped at a little motel off the highway. Sam sent Holly to get food from the local diner next door, telling her if she tried anything, he’d kill her. Trembling and exhausted, she ordered food for them both. She almost told the waitress about her situation, but they were in the middle of nowhere. It would take who knew how long for the police to arrive, and if Sam saw them, he might snap and kill them both.
She returned to the motel room, an old, sparse room that smelled of cigarette smoke and sweat. She handed Sam his bacon and eggs, which he complained about and refused to eat after he discovered that the eggs were runny. Holly, for her part, could only drink coffee and nibble on a bagel.
Please find me, Matt, she kept praying. Please find me. And don’t die trying to get here.
What if Matt didn’t get up for hours, though? They’d be long gone by then, and it would be difficult to track them once they arrived in a big city like Kansas City. Holly bit the inside of her cheek to keep herself from sobbing outright.
Sam fell asleep, snoring, and Holly stared at the wall. The car keys were in his back pocket. If she tried to get them from his pocket, he could wake up and then there’d be trouble. But when he flipped over to his side, exposing said pocket, Holly decided she’d have to try. Moving toward him on the bed, she very slowly delved into his pocket, pulling out the keys and making sure they didn’t jangle. Sam snorted in his sleep but didn’t awaken.
Holly breathed a sigh of relief. She held the keys in her fist, but winced when the springs of the bed screeched. Sam continued sleeping, and she walked to the door with light steps. If she could just get this deadbolt off, and unlock the door, and open it…
“Going somewhere?” Sam slapped a hand against the door, boxing her in.
She didn’t think. She reacted. Slamming her elbow into his stomach, he fell to the ground behind her. She wrenched open the door and ran for it, hearing him scream after her. She hadn’t even put on her shoes, but it didn’t matter. She had to get away. Making it to the car, she unlocked it, but as she was about to open the door, she was knocked to the ground. Sam was on top of her, and he backhanded her across the face so hard that she saw stars.
“You stupid bitch! Did you really think you’d get away from me?” He pulled her hair and took the keys from her hand.
Holly foug
ht like a cat, clawing at him, refusing to let him take her back to that room. She screamed, but no one came out to help her.
She got in a slap, but Sam was stronger than her by fifty pounds. He flipped her over, smashing her face into the concrete, and he laughed.
“You’re mine,” he breathed, panting. “You’re mine to do with whatever I want.”
Holly couldn’t breathe; she couldn’t think. She just had to escape. She was about to buck him off, but before she could move, his weight was gone. Her mind couldn’t comprehend what had had happened, but when she sat up, she saw that Sam was now on the ground with another man over him.
Matt. It was Matt.
Holly stood up, clutching at the car behind her. Matt kicked Sam in the ribs before forcing his arms behind his back. Pulling out cuffs, Matt said in a rough voice, “You’re under arrest for assault and kidnapping and violating your restraining order. I’d recommend you not say anything else, Mr. Gantry.”
Sam still tried to fight back, but he was no match for Matt. Matt called for backup, and another police officer took Sam into custody, escorting him to a nearby police car.
Holly kept blinking, she was so astonished. He’d found her. He’d saved her.
She ran to him and threw herself into his arms, and he hugged her so tightly she could barely breathe. She didn’t care, though. He kept saying her name, his hands running down her body to make sure she was all right.
“Holly, God, Holly,” he said into her hair. “Are you okay? If that bastard hurt you…”
She pulled away, and when he saw the growing bruise on her face, he growled. He cupped her cheek. “I’ll kill him,” he intoned.
She just hugged him tighter. “You found me. I didn’t know if you would find me.”
“Of course I would find you. I’d go to the ends of the earth for you.” He tipped her head back to look into her eyes. “I love you, Holly. I know it’s too early to say something like that, but I don’t care. I only care about you.”