Johnny Buckethead

by Victor Storck

one wasn’t a good place to start.

  Fred grabbed the pumpkin candy sack out of Edward’s hand and dumped all the candy onto the sidewalk. Edward bent down to pick up his candy but Willie shoved Edward so hard he lost his balance and fell to the ground. When Edward tried to get back up, Fred put both of his hands on Edward’s shoulders and kept him pinned down. They both watched Willie jump up and down on the pile of candy, crushing and cracking every single piece. Edward squirmed under Fred's hands, trying to stand up.

  “Now, now Johnny Buckethead, take it easy. Don’t move. Let's just wait and see what Vampire Willie wants to do next,” Fred said.

  Once Willie finished smashing all of Edward’s candy, he pulled out a can of orange soda from his own candy sack, shook it up, and walked over to Edward. “I bet even bucketheads get thirsty, right Gruesome Fred?”

  “Right you are, Vampire Willie. I even heard that bucketheads really like orange soda,” Fred said. Again Edward tried to stand up, but Fred just pushed down harder.

  Willie opened the can of soda and poured it into Edward’s buckethead. Willie then picked up a huge handful of smashed up candy and stirred it into the sticky, foamy mess inside Edward’s buckethead.

  “So long, Johnny Buckethead. Trick or treat! Happy Halloween!” Fred and Willie said together as they ran away.

  Edward just sat there on the sidewalk. He couldn’t believe how his plan to try and scare Willie and Fred went so wrong. Now they would probably never be scared enough to leave him alone. He realized that Willie and Fred were just mean, evil boys, who really enjoyed making fun of him.

  When Edward got home, his mother and father both hugged him for what seemed forever. Mrs. Stuckey spent over an hour cleaning out the gooey mess inside Edward’s buckethead.

  Edward told his father how angry he felt while Willie and Fred were ruining his Halloween. Mr. Stuckey explained how he didn’t want Edward to use violence when dealing with people like Willie and Fred. No matter how hard Edward wanted to fight back, he wanted Edward to walk away, no matter how hard it might be. Mr. Stuckey explained that resorting to violence to would only lead to more violence. He told Edward to try not to worry, because eventually Willie and Fred would leave him alone.

  After Edward was cleaned up, his mother and father both tucked him into bed. Their caring, loving faces made Edward feel so much better.

  The next morning, when Edward woke up, there was note on his bedroom door from his father. The note told him to go straight into the living room, where there would be a surprise waiting for him.

  Edward ran into the living room. His father sat on the couch with a huge smile on his face. In his lap was a dark brown puppy. As soon as the puppy saw Edward it furiously wagged it's tail.

  “For me? A puppy?” Edward said.

  “For you, my young bucketman,” Edward’s father said. He let go of the puppy, and it ran straight to Edward. Edward knelt down, letting the puppy lick his entire face. Then Edward rolled across the floor, and the puppy happily danced and jumped alongside him.

  Mrs. Stuckey came into the living room and along with Mr. Stuckey they both smiled, glad to see that Edward had finally found a true friend.

  After a few minutes of playing, Edward grabbed the puppy and hugged him tight to his chest. Smiling, he looked up at his parents.

  “Thank you, Mom, thank you Dad. I already have a name for the puppy. Hershey, because he looks just like a chocolate bar. Except this chocolate bar has legs and a tail!”

  From fifth grade right up to ninth, Willie and Fred still made their mean jokes about Edward’s buckethead, and it still hurt Edward’s feelings tremendously. But once Edward got home Hershey would rush up to him and jump into his arms. The love Hershey showed for Edward made him almost forgot his sadness. Every day, when Edward saw how much Hershey cared for him, Edward knew he had finally found a true friend. But his neck continued hurting from the sheer weight of his buckethead, and Edward had to spend more and more time during the week just resting.

  During the summer between ninth and tenth grade, Edward turned fifteen years old. For his birthday, his parents gave him two turtles, a hamster, and several goldfish. His entire bedroom was now filled up with various pet cages and a small fish bowl. Edward spent that whole summer as happy as he had ever been caring for his new friends. In the back of his mind, he knew he would probably only find true friendship with animals.

  As the summer ended, and tenth grade was about to start, Edward couldn’t help but feel sad all over again, knowing he would soon have to deal with Willie and Fred. Sure enough, on the first day of tenth grade, Willie was waiting for Edward on the steps leading up to the schoolhouse. But Willie was standing there by himself. Seeing Willie alone, Edward quickly turned around, expecting Fred to come rushing up behind him to play some kind of mean joke. But Fred was nowhere in sight. When Edward turned back around, Willie stood in front of him.

  “My, my, if it isn't the one and only Johnny Buckethead,” Willie said, with an evil look in his eye. “Looking for Fred? He moved away during the summer.” Willie stepped closer to Edward, so close their noses almost touched. “You'll have to deal with me, and only me, Johnny Buckethead. So I hope you're ready.”

  Edward had never seen a meaner looking face in his entire life. “Why don’t you just leave me alone?” he said.

  “Leave you alone? Ha! No chance, Johnny Buckethead!” Willie reached into his pocket and pulled out two eggs. “Breakfast time!”

  Edward tried covering his buckethead with his hands, but Willie was too fast. In one motion Willie jumped up and smashed both eggs inside Edward’s buckethead, crunching down hard until they cracked open.

  Trying to get away, Edward took a step backwards but Willie stuck his leg out and tripped Edward, knocking him down to his knees. Willie then took a small container of milk and a handful of cereal from his other pocket.

  “Where do you think you're going, Johnny Buckethead? I’m not done sharing my breakfast with you.” Willie then poured the milk and cereal into Edward’s buckethead, stirred it around for a few seconds, and stood back, laughing. A few other kids walked by and also laughed. After a few minutes Willie waved goodbye and ran into the schoolhouse.

  Edward stared straight ahead, not really looking at anything, milk and egg dripping down the side of his buckethead. He sighed. This is going to be a long year, he said to himself.

  During the winter, a few days after a snowstorm, Edward was walking to school down a road that had huge snow banks on both sides. All of a sudden Willie came bursting out of one of the snow banks, rammed into Edward, and stuffed a large pile of icy snow into Edward's buckethead.

  Willie skipped down the road, laughing out loud, happy as can be. While Edward scooped the cold snow out of his buckethead, he realized something about Willie he hadn’t noticed before. Ever since Fred had moved away, Willie had not made any new friends. As far as Edward could tell, Willie was by himself most of the time. If Willie was willing to hide in a freezing cold snow bank, just waiting for the chance to make fun of Edward, then there was no telling how mean Willie could get, and all because Willie had no friends. Edward told himself he had better be extra careful from now on. Maybe one way to solve the problem would be for him to try and make friends with Willie.

  The next day at school, Edward saw Willie standing by his locker, talking to a few classmates. Edward walked up to Willie and said “Hi.” Willie ignored him, but the other kids looked at Edward, laughed, and ran down the hallway, yelling out “The one and only Johnny Buckethead!”

  Willie glared at Edward. “Nice going, Johnny Buckethead. Why did you have to come over and say hello? Does it look like I want to talk to you?”

  “I…I thought…maybe you would rather be my friend, instead of my enemy,” Edward said.

  “Why would I ever want to be friends with a buckethead? You must be crazy. Maybe it’s because of the way you head slopes into the shape of a perfect buckethead.” Willie got closer to Edward. “Listen to me Johnny Bu
ckethead, and listen good. I don’t like bucketheads, and I never will. If you think I’ve been mean, well, you just haven’t seen anything yet. Now get out of my way!” Willie pushed Edward away and stormed off.

  Edward leaned against the wall, feeling both sad and scared at the same time. Sad, because he knew Willie was just too mean to make any new friends, and Willie might never stop bothering and making fun of him. Scared, because he had no idea how mean Willie could get, and Edward was afraid Willie might try something truly dangerous.

  But the feelings of sadness and fear went away when Edward got home. Hershey followed Edward everywhere, and while Edward took care of his other pets, Hershey would sit by Edward’s side, wagging his tail. Every so often Edward would hug Hershey and rub his belly. Edward always made sure he told Hershey how glad he was to have such a true friend. And when Edward had to lay down and rest because of his painful neck, Hershey would lie down right next to him.

  About a week before tenth grade ended, Edward got a phone call from Mr. Gladstone, who owned a pet shop downtown. Mr. Gladstone had heard from Edward's father about how good Edward was with animals. He asked Edward if he would be willing to work at the pet shop during summer vacation. Edward couldn't believe his good luck. He told Mr. Gladstone he would be more than happy to start