by Nora Lee
Keene was not a quiet boy. Shrieking was more or less his standard mode of communication. As a seasoned mother, Kimberly was familiar with most of the tones: the “I see a bug I want to catch” shriek, the “I just spun too fast and got very dizzy” shriek, and very occasionally the “I’m in mortal peril and will die if you don’t intercede within milliseconds” shriek, which was fortunately not terribly common, but unfortunately almost identical to his “I like this rock” shriek.
She didn’t need to interpret his shrieking on this particular morning. Seconds later, almost faster than Kimberly could start to worry, she sensed another yell through Thorn’s senses.
Maddock, apparently, was taking a break from work and had picked Keene up to swing him around in the yard, which Thorn was witnessing approvingly. Kimberly spared the picture of all of them a moment of fondness before she got back to work, enjoying the buzz of Thorn in the back of her head as she went.
It wasn’t until she felt her husband’s touch on her shoulder that she realized he’d come inside.
She could hear Keene thumping around the house again as well. She sat away from the toy boxes and the rustling garbage bag to smile away from him.
“Hey,” Maddock said softly.
Kimberly stood and turned into his arms immediately. It was always nice when they had these moments, where they would just hold each other and…not talk. Well, not talk right away. Words did have to happen, but taking the space to be quiet gave Kimberly the time she needed to form her thoughts again.
“Hey,” Kimberly said aloud after a few minutes.
Maddock kissed her cheek. “Why isn’t Keene at school, wife of mine? I didn’t expect to see him playing outside like that.”
“I told you last night.” She sounded tired to her own ears, but the words were matter-of-fact, not defensive. “Without magic…”
Maddock was silent for a few more minutes to give Kimberly room to speak. When she didn’t, he asked, “Is that all? You don’t think Keene has enough protection? We could probably work with that. If I help the coven, we could make something to help him.”
Kimberly sighed and pulled Maddock a little closer to her. He rubbed her back, and she let herself close her eyes and just feel him.
“You know, whatever’s going on, I’ll listen,” Maddock said softly. “I want to hear what you’re thinking.”
I woke up with feathers, Kimberly thought. It sounded ridiculous in her head like that, but she couldn’t think of a better way to put it, so… “I woke up with feathers.”
“Feathers?”
“Like…” Kimberly spread out her arm, waved her other hand across the top, and flapped the arm like a wing. “Eagle feathers.”
“Wow,” Maddock said, the word coming out like a gust of air. “What happened to the feathers?”
“I concentrated, and they went away.”
“So it’s part of your magic? Just like…”
“Like Thorn?”
Maddock huffed a humorless laugh. “That wasn’t who I was thinking about.”
The air hung heavier for a moment. Kimberly knew what Maddock was thinking because she was thinking about the exact same thing. Well, she wasn’t actively thinking about it—she’d found, years ago, that it was easier to deal with if she didn’t pursue it whenever possible—but it lurked in the back of her head, dark and ominous.
“Like that, yes,” Kimberly said. “Like her. Possibly.”
“You will never be anything like her. This news is interesting, though. We’ve always assumed you have virtually no magic. If you’re a shapeshifter, that will place you among the most powerful witches in the village.”
Kimberly had no interest in such prestige. She didn’t need to shapeshift to run the farm which fed all of her witch family-friends among the coven. She didn’t need to shapeshift to be the best wife possible to Maddock. And she certainly, absolutely, did not need to shapeshift to be the best mother possible to her beloved child.
“I don’t understand where Keene fits in,” Maddock says. “Unless you’re worried that he does have magic.”
Kimberly shook her head quickly. “He was what brought me back. I heard him, and…”
She let her voice trail off as Maddock nodded thoughtfully. He couldn’t know, not exactly, but if anyone was going to be sympathetic, it was Kimberly’s husband.
“I hoped that it wasn’t real, that I was imagining it,” Kimberly said.
He rubbed her back in slowing circles.
They both knew that it was far too much to hope that it could have been an extension of the dream.
“What do you need? What can we do in order to help you through this?” Maddock asked. “To stay close to Keene?”
Since Kimberly had had some time to calm down, she didn’t think that was entirely necessary. At least, not at the moment. She shook her head.
“To work with Thorn?” Maddock suggested.
That…was a pretty decent idea. Thorn, as Kimberly’s familiar, could focus her magic, or boost it, although Kimberly wasn’t inclined to think that she wanted the latter very much. There was also the fact that Thorn was an eagle and he was more used to the feelings that went along with it.
Kimberly nodded.
“What will that take?”
She thought quickly. “A trip into the forest,” she said. “Probably alone, so both of us can focus.”
“So you need someone to help keep an eye on Keene.”
“Would you?”
Maddock smiled. “I’m also his parent, hon. I mean, it’s nice that you’re asking, but he’s just as much my responsibility. It’s not like I’m a babysitter you need to book.”
“The farm…”
“Can stand a few hours with less attention. There’s a reason I channel my magic into it, you know.” He put a hand on her shoulder. “You can take some time for yourself.”
Kimberly cringed, but ignoring the problem and trying to tough it out likely wouldn’t make it go away. She had to take it seriously, and her husband was giving her the space to do so.
Still, it was one of the hardest things she’d ever done to say “Okay” and walk out into the rest of the house, taking a half-filled trash bag with her.
5
Kimberly and Maddock followed Keene outside, arms linked together, and hearts joined by the reminder of the bond they had cherished for so many years together. That was also where Maddock and Keene would stay while Kimberly worked with Thorn. Maddock liked the outdoors too much to stay cooped up inside with Keene, and frankly, it was a better idea for Keene to get more fresh air. Especially with the school situation up in the air.
“I’ll stay close,” Kimberly told Maddock, pointing toward the tree line that marked the beginning of the forest. “If you need me.”
Maddock nodded. “Love you.”
“Love you,” Kimberly said, kissing Maddock on the cheek. She ruffled Keene’s hair as he ran past, and he shrieked, recoiling playfully. He recoiled again as Maddock growled and crouched, and Keene ran off with Maddock at his heels.
They were fine. Kimberly was fine. She was just going to step in the woods for a moment, and she was going to come back.
She would always come back.
And she would be human the entire time.
Kimberly squared her shoulders and turned toward the woods.
Thorn flew overhead as she walked, leaves crunching under her boots. Her magic responded instantly to his presence and with more intensity than she’d ever felt before. It shook her enough that it took her a moment to realize she’d stopped walking.
It’s just the woods, she thought. She went in there all the time, with Thorn and Keene and Maddock and even the greater coven. There was no reason this time would be any different than before.
Thorn was patiently circling overhead. His presence was steady and calm, as reassuring as Maddock’s.
Also like Maddock, he knew what she needed without being told.
As familiar to a witch who had—until
that night—displayed very little propensity for magic, Thorn was seldom called upon to offer his services as familiar. Kimberly could count on one hand the times they had performed spells together. She simply wasn’t that kind of witch.
Even so, they fell together easily into the typical pattern of witch and familiar. It wasn’t give and take, necessarily. Both of them gave as much as they had. They were equal partners.
In a way, Kimberly was as much Thorn’s familiar as he was hers.
Today, though, she was the one who needed his assistance. She leaned upon his steadfast calm as she stepped into the forest, and he offered it to her with the same silent fierceness that he did everything.
Goblins, but she loved that eagle.
“Okay,” she whispered, and she walked forward with more confidence in her step than she actually felt.
She crossed into the woods. The light was more golden inside the trees since the forest around the farm tended to go more yellow than anything, but it was also a bit darker and cooler. Kimberly pulled her sweater closer as Thorn settled on a steady tree branch not too far from her and let the breeze swirl around her, making the trees whistle and creak the slightest bit.
Thorn was not a pet, so he didn’t bother coming near enough for Kimberly to make a physical connection. They were too alike to seek comfort in such contact. All she needed was the weight of his gaze, his presence nearby, the brush of his mind against hers.
She looked over her shoulder. She could still see Keene jumping around not too distantly, and that more than anything made her relax. She could get back home in a minute whenever she wanted.
Even now, in the forest outside her home, she was home. She hadn’t really left.
As soon as she explored her inner magic, determining its boundaries, she could go back to the other men in her life.
That was Kimberly’s only plan at the moment: now that she knew what her magic might look like, she wanted to sense the shape of it within. She wanted to figure out where it sat within her soul and how deeply it was embedded in her heart. It would be easy to find these things with Thorn, if she was supposed to have shapeshifting magic that made her a bird like him.
And then once she found it, she would lock it away.
Never again would Kimberly become feathered, whether it be awake or asleep.
“Ready?” she asked up at Thorn. She didn’t need to specify what she was doing. He would walk the same magical paths along her side, unrelenting, calm, and patient.
He looked at her steadily and ruffled his wings a bit by way of answer.
Kimberly took a few breaths and let her eyes flutter closed.
Her magic was very easy to sense, easier than it had probably been. It was actually slightly harder to find her bond with Thorn, not because it was buried or anything, but because she was so overwhelmed by the magic that she found herself fumbling a bit. But it was there in her mind, the sensory equivalent of his golden feathers, solid and as strong as ever.
She took hold of the magic. Well, as much as she could. She’d never tried anything quite like it before, where she tried to channel the feelings the magic gave her into her bond with Thorn. The sensory elements were the way she tapped into her magic, and that day, it was an itch.
More than anything, Kimberly wanted to fly.
She had intended to turn those intense feelings inward. She had only wanted to explore the deepest recesses of her soul from the solitude of the forest. Yet she couldn’t resist to turn her urge to fly toward her bond with Thorn, and—
Kimberly wasn’t on the ground anymore. Her feet were keeping her balanced on a branch, and she could see, not too far above her head, the top of the trees.
She was seeing through Thorn’s eyes, and Thorn was feeling her urge to fly, which didn’t bother him in the slightest.
Both of them wanted to fly.
They were eagles. That was what eagles were supposed to do.
Kimberly felt Thorn spread his wings, waddle on the branch a bit until he was in the exact position he wanted, and take flight.
He fell a bit at first, as gravity was strong and the wind was slight among the shelter of the forest. Thorn wasn’t worried. He glided on the air for several feet until there was a clear patch in the trees, and once he was in a good spot, he turned, flapping his wings to make his way free of the trees and get up into the sky.
The entire time, Kimberly rode within his mind.
It was as amazing to fly with Thorn as it had been to fly in Kimberly’s dream.
No, it was more amazing with Thorn. He circled up above the farm, which looked completely different from an aerial view, and glided out to the rest of the town.
Most of the houses and shops were at the base of the cliff, and they looked tiny from Thorn’s view. Everywhere popped with color, thanks to the houses painted brightly and the roofs with colorful tile and the red-and-gold trees dotted around the city, but it seemed to be more color than Kimberly could see with her own eyes.
If she hadn’t been in Thorn’s head, she might have cried a little. It was so beautiful.
She felt distant from the town as well, but it wasn’t in a bad way. The town was near her home. It was where her family lived. But Kimberly had little interest in its places on the ground, the matters of those bound to the earth below.
Kimberly liked having her space, and getting a bit further back meant she could see the town as a whole. She could see the activity of everyone living there, less from person-to-person, and more like the town was its own person with people moving through its veins. Nana Winterblossom’s house seemed the busiest of all the places around, which made her the heart. It was fun to see.
Thorn started circling, and it wasn’t until she saw crumbling black walls that she realized he was going around Castle Hallow.
Kimberly wasn’t sure she’d ever been this close to it outside her dream, even though they were still a fair distance. Her imaginings of its tower had been shockingly accurate. The colorful ivy stood in stark contrast to the dark, decaying frame, but there was texture in the darkness as well; the belfry, for instance, had some movement thanks to the bats roosting in there.
Thorn was interested in the bats. Very interested. The companionship Kimberly had shared with them in the dream didn’t exist here. Thorn mostly believed that they would taste good, though they were generally too fast and tiny for him to catch. He smacked his beak while imagining the flavor.
Kimberly wasn’t exactly interested, but she wasn’t repulsed either.
Thorn seemed to have no interest in landing within Castle Hallow at the moment. It was one of the most heavily-magicked places in Secret Hallow, third only to the Ash Academy and the Samhain Grove. He had encountered its protective magic before and had no urge to do it again.
That was too bad, but maybe in the future, Kimberly and Thorn could…
Kimberly stopped that thought in its tracks.
Would she ever go flying with Thorn like this again? She had been trying to rid herself of the urge to take to the sky, and look what she was doing.
She shouldn’t have been doing this.
Maybe Thorn was reading her impulses because he was circling back to the farm. Probably for the best. Their little outing had probably bought Kimberly some time, at least, and she could take that time to think of some alternatives. And really, the thought of being away from home at all, even for a few minutes, wasn’t a comfortable one.
The farm seemed much like it had a few minutes before. The fields were all right, and Maddock was with Keene, and…
Actually, Maddock was taking Keene to his pickup truck. He opened the door and was putting Keene in his car seat, and—
Kimberly was back in the forest in a split second, the feeling of standing on the forest floor overwhelming and heavy after flight. She tried to shake it off and ran out of the trees, making her way back to the farm proper as fast as she could.
She could hear Maddock’s pickup truck rumble, but even as Kimberly ran, the ru
mble grew more distant.
Maddock was taking their son off the farm, and Kimberly was alone.
6
Kimberly returned to the house, closed the curtains, and sat on the couch.
She was as still and calm in her husband’s living room as Thorn had been on his branch in the forest.
It seemed a rational retreat on many levels: she wouldn’t have the urge to fly away if she was surrounded by walls, she could finish tidying up Keene’s room once she was calm, and she wouldn’t see where Maddock or Keene should have been to worry about either of them. All very good things.
She needed to trust that Maddock would only take Keene somewhere fun. They loved spending time together. They were safe as a team.
But Kimberly couldn’t shake the feeling of emptiness that clawed within her breast.
It felt as though Keene had been ripped from her arms and that she’d been missing him for days already—which was absurd, of course.
Equally absurd was the fact that she’d ever thought she might be able to pretend she was fine while the two were gone.
Kimberly ended up pacing the length of the living room instead while she tried—and failed—to not worry, but she thought the attempt at doing the right thing was worth something. And if she had been working, she might not have been grateful to hear the doorbell.
Someone was at her house.
She opened the door and was greeted by three people: Rowan, who waved cheerfully when Kimberly looked her way; Garrett, partner to Rowan, who was the most mundane person to have ever stumbled upon Secret Hallow; and baby Siobhan, who gaped at Kimberly from where she was sitting in a sling Rowan wore.
Siobhan was growing rapidly, fatted on a mixture of magic and milk that made sure her rolls had rolls. Thigh rolls, armpit rolls, foot rolls. She also had multiple chins. Her gawking was terribly cute. The sight of such a precious baby only made Kimberly’s ache for her son more intense.
“May we come in?” Rowan asked. She held up a bag. “Beltane preparations.”
Kimberly had forgotten she’d agreed to host the coven’s ceremony. “Yes,” she managed, stepping aside so they could enter.