by Flora Burgos
Courtney's dad straightened and cleared his throat, saying, "Cole, Court, I've got to get in there and get cleaned up, but you two give me and Mama a shout before y'all call it a night." With that, he clapped Cole on the back once more and bent to kiss the cheek that Courtney didn't have pressed to Cole before he slapped his work gloves against his pants and turned to make his way into the house.
There was a ball of panic forming in Courtney's throat, and she was terrified of where the night was leading. "Cole, what's going on? What's messed up?"
Cole stiffened but blew out a sigh, and instead of answering her, he said, "How do you feel about The BeefHouse for dinner tonight? I'm in the mood for a steak that I don't have to cook."
She debated pursuing it further but chose instead to let it rest and pulled away to smile up at him slightly and say, "Yeah, darlin', steak sounds good."
He kissed the side of her head and gave her a soft squeeze before leading her to the passenger door of his truck. She was shaking with trepidation as Cole made his way around to the other side of the truck, but she sat in silence and gave him time to work up to giving it to her. They made the half-hour drive in complete silence. With each second that ticked along, Courtney became more and more concerned. Still, she waited.
They pulled up at the restaurant and were seated. Courtney had never been more terrified in her life. "Cole, you're scaring me. What is going on?"
He reached across the table and took her hand in his. He smiled at her gently with a smile that didn't reach his eyes and said, "I just didn't expect this job to be so shitty. I didn't expect to have to do things that I am morally opposed to, out of obligation to my country, and I didn't expect the way it could have repercussions on everything else in my life. You know me, Baby Girl. I'll give it all to you tonight. Let's just enjoy dinner, yeah? I need this one more evening of normalcy before I tell you about this job. I'm ok. Is that enough to reassure you so we can enjoy our date? I love you, and I'm fine. Promise." He smiled the crooked smile she loved so much, and she felt her nerves settle. Whatever this was, it didn't have anything to do with her, and she could and would do whatever it took to help him shake off the funk he was in and live in the moment.
For the two hours they were at The BeefHouse, she made him laugh again and again, and she could see the demons slowly leaving him. On the ride back to the ranch, she talked constantly, just chattering, to keep him distracted. She was feeling loose from the two glasses of wine she'd had with dinner, and she was happy. Her man was home, and whatever troubled him, they could handle it together.
When they pulled down his drive, she saw a car parked that she didn't recognize. "Cole, is Clint in town, too? He could have come with us or have dinner with my folks. He didn't have to stay home alone."
The tension was palpable, and Cole opened the center console to pull out a 9-millimeter Beretta, which had Courtney straightening in her seat and losing her pleasant buzz. "Clint's still in Istanbul with Devon."
Cole put the SUV in park, leaving it running, and swung out of the vehicle saying, "Stay here, Court."
Courtney wasn't about to get out of the vehicle with him on such high alert. This was a side of her man that she had never seen before, and it suddenly brought the stark reality of his other life home to her. She was freaking out until she saw a tall, slender, dark-haired woman stand up from the porch swing. She watched the caution leave Cole's posture and saw him tuck the gun into the back of the waistband of his jeans before he shouted something and the woman stomped off the porch toward him, gesturing wildly. Sensing that the danger was over, Courtney stepped out of the SUV to see what was going on. She had never seen the woman before in her life. She seemed to really upset Cole by being there, so Courtney wanted to know what was going on.
Neither of them seemed to notice the sound of the SUV door opening and closing as she exited it and made her way toward them. What she heard them yelling at one another had her stopping dead in her tracks and her heart faltering.
"What the fuck are you doing here, Monique? I told you that I had something to see to and would be back in a day or two."
"Yes, you leave a note on the pillow. What should a wife do when her husband disappears? I called Clint to find you. You are supposed to protect me!" The woman, Monique, had a very strong French accent that had her pronouncing her th's with a zee sound, her oh's sounded drawn out as oo's, and she had a thick sound in her throat as she spat the words at Cole.
"Woman, you were fucking safe. You had no business calling my brother, and you sure as fuck don't need to be here."
The other woman gestured to where Courtney stood and spat at Cole, "So, you leave me for this woman?"
Courtney saw Cole's shoulders tighten, and she felt like she was having an out-of-body experience. This woman was claiming to be her fiancé's wife. And apparently, Cole had left a note on this woman's pillow before he came home to Courtney. A ball of what felt like slithering snakes settled in the pit of her stomach, and all she could do was stare at the two of them. It was like watching a car accident. She couldn't tear her eyes away from them. They may be the ones who were the car wreck, but Courtney felt as if she were the victim of one.
Cole, as if suddenly reminded of her existence, turned back toward Courtney and approached her. She had the presence of mind to hold her hands up to stop him from touching her. All she could get out was, "What?"
Cole shook his head, and she could see from the look in his eyes that he had retreated to that dark place he went from time to time. The place she was usually the only person who could pull him back from. Right then, that wasn't something she was capable of. She couldn't make sense of the situation. How was her fiancé married?
"Baby Girl, it's not what you think."
Suddenly, words bubbled up from deep inside her, and she found she wasn't speechless after all. "What the hell, Cole? You got married? How is it not what I think? I don't even know what I think. How did this happen? God, were you even going to tell me?"
"Fuck, Courtney, of course, I was! But it's not what you think. It's not a real marriage."
Relief swept through her.
He isn’t really married. There has to be some explanation.
"So, you aren't married?" Even she heard the desperate hope in her voice, but she didn't care. She had to know.
Before he could respond, the other woman laughed and then spoke, "Cole is my husband. It is legal."
Courtney looked back at Cole and waited for him to say something, anything. Instead, he watched her in complete silence.
She could barely get the words out, and they were only a choked whisper when she asked, "You're really married?"
He still didn't speak. He nodded. And she wilted. Her entire being shattered into a million pieces, and she knew that no matter what, she would never be put back together again. She was Humpty Dumpty.
All the kings' horses and all the kings' men...
She couldn't even breathe. Cole still stared at her, and even the French woman was silent at the devastation she had wrought over Courtney. Courtney couldn't speak another word, so she turned, raced back to the running SUV, and jumped into the driver's seat to race back to her parents’ ranch.
When she pulled into her driveway, she knew there was no way that she could face her parents and their questions, and eventually, Cole was going to have to come get his rental, so she grabbed her purse and left the keys in the ignition after killing the motor and escaped to the one place where she felt peace. She went to the barn and walked straight to her horse, Mystery, and opened the stall door before slipping inside and collapsing in the corner. The bay mare came over to her and nudged her as sobs wracked Courtney's body, but she couldn't even bring herself to reach a hand up to her horse. With a huge sigh, Mystery dropped to her knees and finally to her belly and put her head on top of Courtney's knees, where she watched her with her deep brown eyes, offering her human comfort in the only way she could.
Eventually, Courtney’s tears ran dry an
d she shifted so that her horse lay on her side and Courtney lay down in the hay, resting her head on the mare's neck and tangling her fingers in her mane. She wasn't aware of anything else for several hours, and night had fallen when she felt someone slide their arms under her and pull her close. She stiffened in fear but caught the scent of her daddy's cologne, so she folded herself into his chest. She couldn't cry, and she couldn't speak. She was spent. All she could do was turn her face into his shirt as he walked out of the barn and to the house. Her mother silently held the front door open for them and stayed behind when her dad carried her to her room and gently laid her on her bed. He walked away for a moment, and when he came back, he had a cool washcloth in his hands and used it to wash her swollen face.
"Figured I'd find you out there with that horse of yours. No matter how old you get, you just hold it in until you can get to somewhere alone to let it out, don't ya?" Without giving her a chance to speak, he continued, "It looks real bad, darlin'. I ain't denying that, but I talked to the boy, and he's just as torn up as you are. I know you feel like your world has imploded on you, but he wants to talk to you. It ain't my place to tell you how to handle this, but I think maybe you two should talk before he leaves. Sounds like he was put in a position where he wasn't given a choice in the matter. He's coming by tomorrow to get his rig and wants to talk to you. You think on it tonight, and if you want to see him, then you can, and if you don't, I'll personally stand in front of the door with my shotgun."
She was too exhausted to speak, so she nodded. She could think about it tomorrow before he came and see how she felt, but for now, she just wanted to close her eyes and forget everything that had happened.
Her daddy kissed her brow and stood up from the bed to walk out of the room, shutting the light off on his way out the door.
SHE HAD TOSSED AND turned all night long, but she had decided that when Cole showed up to get his rental, she was going to talk to him. Whatever was going on, he owed her an explanation, and after so many years together, she owed it to him to hear him out. She got up, showered, and dressed, but she didn't put on makeup or dress up. There was no point. Cole knew her better than anyone else in the world, so he would know exactly how devastated she was.
When one hour turned into two, she justified his absence by thinking that perhaps he had been up all night like she had, and he hadn't woken up yet. When two hours turned into four, she was tempted to call him, but he hadn't tried to call her once. Not after she left, not during the long night, and not once during the day. He had called her dad and spoken to him, but he hadn't reached out to her at all, and she felt awkward about calling him now. Something she never believed would have been possible, yet here she was.
It was almost dark when she heard a vehicle making its way down her drive, and even though she knew it was foolish, her heart leaped in excitement. She squelched the excitement when she thought about their situation, but she slowly made her way out to the front porch. Her parents had given her space all day because that was how she processed her emotions the best. When the storm door shut behind her, she saw an older gentleman climb out of a car. She recognized the man as Mr. Henry, who stayed on the ranch and took care of the day-to-day upkeep. Confusion slashed through Courtney as he approached her.
"Miz Kincade, Cole said I should ask you about the keys for this rig, so I can take it back to the rental place?"
Time froze.
"Miz Kincade?"
"Mr. Henry, where is Cole? Isn't he coming to get the rental?"
"No, ma'am, he and, umm, well, he and the new Mrs. La Barron left for the airport this morning. He said I should get a ride over here to get his rig and take it back to the rental place. I guess he and, err, well, I guess he was in a hurry to get back ma'am."
That was the moment when it hit her that he wasn't coming. He had left that morning with his bride to return to wherever they had come from, and he hadn't even said good-bye. He had left his wife a note on the pillow, but for his fiancée? Not a single word.
He really left with her, and that’s that. In the blink of an eye, a relationship over.
Three months later, when Devon and Clint came home for a break after their mission in Istanbul, Devon took his little sister aside to tell her in private that Cole and Monique were expecting a baby in six months. That night, Courtney left her parents’ ranch and didn't return.
Chapter 3
1 Year Later
THE FIRST PHOTO THAT was left for her, she almost missed. Ev, a bull rider she had befriended on the rodeo circuit, was the one who saw it when he walked her back to her trailer after the event had drawn to a close and they had put her horses away. She hadn't even noticed it sitting on the drop step to her living quarters at the front of her horse trailer. He picked it up and read the words scrawled on the back before flipping the photo over. He jerked in surprise and spoke, "Court? The hell is this?"
She took it from him and saw a photo of herself from a couple of days before when she had been parked on the side of the road and had let her horses, Mystery and Rambler, out as she did every four to five hours while they were on the road. She was leaning against the trailer watching as Rambler grazed a few feet away from her. She hadn't even realized anyone was watching her. The road hadn't exactly been deserted. Other competitors had been part of a convoy from one rodeo to the next, but she couldn't recall feeling like she was being watched or anything. Flipping the photo over, she saw what had caused Ev to freeze. I see you...
That was strange, but she wasn't without fans, so maybe this was one of the crazy ones she had heard about from some of the others. "I have no idea. Maybe a fan?"
"Have you gotten anything like this before?"
"Nope." She shrugged and stomped her boots on the bottom step before opening the door to her trailer. "It's weird, but I haven't had any trouble, so maybe someone is just messing with me. You want a beer?"
She knew he would decline her invitation, just like he always did. He was kind to her and protective of her, but no matter how many hints she dropped or what kind of subtle manipulation she tried, he wasn't biting. He wasn't married, and he wasn't seeing anyone consistently, of that she was sure. They were a few people who stuck with the circuit and followed it cross country, but he wasn't dating anyone. She wasn't sure she was up to a relationship or that she could even have feelings for another man ever again after the way Cole had destroyed her without so much as looking back, but if there was a man she was willing to give it a shot with, it was Sean Everett. Only he wasn't interested. So, she really wasn't disappointed when his mouth quirked up into a grin and he shook his head before saying, "Nah, I gotta get back to my ride. It's time to put a call into my Ma and call it a night. I'm hitting the road about five a.m. tomorrow."
"Ev, you sure are hard on a woman's pride, but you make a good point. I'll be pulling out at about five as well."
"Tomorrow, I'll follow you and stop when you stop to let the horses out. I know you aren't worried about it, but we can take precautions anyway, just in case this is something."
Standing with the door open to her trailer, she grinned at him and caught him by surprise when she threw her arms around him in a giant hug. He didn't squeeze her back, and she didn't expect him to. She just felt overwhelmed that someone cared enough to hang back to make sure she was safe. She released him just as quickly and took the last step into her trailer before turning back and giving him a goofy smile.
"Thanks for being a friend, Ev. You have no idea how much it means to me." She shut the door behind her and balanced first on one foot and then the other to slip off her boots. It made her jump when there was a sharp rap at her door. She turned around and swung it open to see Ev standing there again.
"Court, you need to lock up. Especially now."
Jauntily, she saluted him before shutting the door again and making a point to turn the lock and slide the deadbolt home.
THE NEXT DAY, TRUE to his word, Ev followed her and stopped when she did to let the horses ou
t to stretch their legs and eat. They were both hyper vigilant, and neither was aware of any lurkers. Courtney honestly felt like it was an overreaction on Ev's part, but she was loathed to say so and take the chance he wouldn't stick around. In all honesty, having him stop with her and help her with her horses was not only fun, but it made the chore easier. He was a somber guy, and she sensed that like her, a very deep and very integral part of him had been broken, but she couldn't ask, and she wouldn't share. While they had been acquaintances over the last year, he had become someone she valued in her life.
That night, they pulled into a rest area to sleep before continuing their road trip the next morning. There was nothing suspicious. Ev did a walk around the next morning while they walked the horses, but there was nothing amiss. That night, they both competed. As was their norm after, Courtney loaded her horses into the air-conditioned trailer for the night, and Ev walked her to the door.
Taped to the door was a photo of the two of them, Courtney in her socks saluting him two nights before. Instinctively, Ev pushed her behind him and muttered, "Son of a bitch." Before ripping the photo off the door and flipping it over, he turned around and held his hand out to her. "Keys."
"Ev, my door isn't locked."
"You didn't lock the door? Are you kidding me right now? Good Lord, girl, what are you thinking? Come on. I'll walk through and make sure no one is in there."
"Umm, Ev, I know you've never been in there before, but there isn't any walking through. Come on, you'll see. It's all pretty open."
He swung the door to her trailer open and stepped in. To the left, there was a stand-up shower with a shower curtain hanging from a curtain rod and a toilet tucked in the corner barely hidden from sight to give the user privacy. On the other side of the wall close to the door was a mini fridge with a microwave on the counter above it and a small sink next to that. On the other side of the room, there was a closet above where the gooseneck dropped into the bed of the truck, and against the wall was a leather couch and above it, a bunk had been built into the wall. As far as living quarters went, it was sparse space, but it was certainly a surprise to Sean, who had pictured something far more luxurious. After all, Courtney was the only woman he knew who managed to have manicured nails and wrinkle-free clothes no matter how long she was out on the road. He cleared his throat and spoke, "Well, it appears no one is here, but you need to keep this door locked from now on."