She woke. Immediately her eyes were wide with terror. Her mouth moved and my palm tickled and vibrated as she tried to scream.
I held her thrashing body still and said nothing, just allowed her eyes to adjust until she could see me, and she must have recognized me. How could she not, when she nursed me for ten years, was like a mother to me? How can she not have recognized Master Haytham?
When she had finished struggling, I whispered, ‘Hello, Betty,’ with my hand still over her mouth. ‘I have something I need to ask you. To answer you will need to speak. For you to speak I’ll need to take my hand from your mouth and you may be tempted to scream, but if you scream …’ I applied the tip of the sword to her throat to make my point. And, then, very gently, I lifted my hand from her mouth.
Her eyes were hard, like granite. For a moment I felt myself retreat to childhood and was almost intimidated by the fire and fury there, as though the sight of them triggered a memory of being scolded that I couldn’t help but respond to.
‘I should put you over my knee for this, Master Haytham,’ she hissed. ‘How dare you creep into a lady’s room when she sleeps? Did I teach you nothing? Did Edith teach you nothing? Your mother?’ Her voice was rising. ‘Did your father teach you nothing?’
That childhood feeling stayed with me, and I had to reach into myself to find resolve, fighting an urge simply to put away my sword and say, ‘Sorry, Nurse Betty,’ promise never to do it again, that I would be a good boy from now on.
The thought of my father gave me that resolve.
‘It’s true you were like a mother to me once, Betty,’ I said to her. ‘It’s true that what I’m doing is a terrible, unforgivable thing to do. Believe me, I’m not here lightly. But what you’ve done is terrible, and unforgivable, too.’
Her eyes narrowed. ‘What do you mean?’
With my other hand I reached inside my frock coat and retrieved a folded piece of paper, which I held for her to see in the near-dark of the room. ‘You remember Laura, the kitchen maid?’
Cautious, she nodded.
‘She sent me a letter,’ I went on. ‘A letter that told me all about your relationship with Digweed. For how long was Father’s gentleman your fancy man, Betty?’
There was no such letter; the piece of paper I held contained nothing more revelatory than the address of my lodgings for the night, and I was relying on the low light to fool her. The truth was that when I’d re-read my old journals I’d been taken back to that moment many, many years ago when I had gone to look for Betty. She had been having her ‘little lie-in’ that cold morning, and when I peered through her keyhole I’d seen a pair of men’s boots in her room. I hadn’t realized at the time because I was too young. I’d seen them with the eyes of a nine-year-old and thought nothing of them. Not then. Not ever since.
Not until reading it afresh, when, like a joke that suddenly makes sense, I had understood: the boots had belonged to her lover. Of course they had. What I was less certain of was that her lover was Digweed. I remember that she used to speak of him with great affection, but then so did everyone; he had fooled us all. But when I left for Europe in the care of Reginald, Digweed had found alternative employment for Betty.
Even so, it was a guess that they were lovers – a considered, educated guess, but risky, with terrible consequences, if I was wrong.
‘Do you remember the day you had a little lie-in, Betty?’ I asked. ‘A “little lie-in”, do you remember?’
She nodded her head warily.
‘I came to see where you were,’ I continued. ‘I was cold, you see. And in the passage outside your room – well, I don’t like to admit it, but I knelt down and I looked through your keyhole.’
I felt myself colour slightly, despite everything. She’d been staring balefully up at me, but now her eyes went flinty and her lips pursed crossly, almost as though this ancient intrusion were as bad as the current one.
‘I didn’t see anything,’ I clarified quickly. ‘Not unless you count you, slumbering in bed, and also a pair of men’s boots that I recognized as belonging to Digweed. Were you having an affair with him, is that it?’
‘Oh, Master Haytham,’ she whispered, shaking her head and with sad eyes, ‘what has become of you? What sort of man has that Birch turned you into? That you should be holding a knife to the throat of a lady of my advancing years is bad enough – oh, that’s bad enough. But look at you now, you’re ladling hurt on hurt, accusing me of having an affair, being a home-wrecker. It was no affair. Mr Digweed had children, that’s true, who were looked after by his sister in Herefordshire, but his wife died many years before he even joined the household. Ours was not an affair the way you’re thinking with your dirty mind. We were in love, and shame on you thinking otherwise. Shame on you.’ She shook her head again.
Feeling my hand tighten on the handle of the sword, I squeezed my eyes shut. ‘No, no, it’s not me who should be made to feel at fault here. You can try and come high and mighty with me all you like, but the fact is that you had a … relationship of some kind, of whatever kind – it doesn’t matter what kind – with Digweed, and Digweed betrayed us. Without that betrayal my father would be alive. Mother would be alive, and I would not be sitting here with a knife to your throat, so don’t blame me for your current predicament, Betty. Blame him.’
She took a deep breath and composed herself. ‘He had no choice,’ she said at last, ‘Jack didn’t. Oh, that was his name, by the way: Jack. Did you know that?’
‘I’ll read it on his gravestone,’ I hissed, ‘and knowing it makes not a blind bit of difference, because he did have a choice, Betty. Whether it was a choice between the devil and the deep blue sea, I don’t care. He had a choice.’
‘No – the man threatened Jack’s children.’
‘ “Man”? What man?’
‘I don’t know. A man who first spoke to Jack in town.’
‘Did you ever see him?’
‘No.’
‘What did Digweed say about him? Was he from the West Country?’
‘Jack said he had the accent sir, yes. Why?’
‘When the men kidnapped Jenny, she was screaming about a traitor. Violet from next door heard her, but the following day a man with a West Country accent came to speak to her – to warn her not to tell anyone what she’d heard.’
West Country. Betty had blanched, I saw. ‘What?’ I snapped. ‘What have I said?’
‘It’s Violet, sir,’ she gasped. ‘Not long after you left for Europe – it could even have been the day after – she met her end in a street robbery.’
‘They came good on their word,’ I said. I looked at her. ‘Tell me about the man giving Digweed his orders,’ I said.
‘Nothing. Jack never said anything about him. That he meant business; that if Jack didn’t do as they told him then they would find his children and kill them. They said that if he told the master then they’d find his boys, cut them and kill them slowly, all of that. They told him what they were planning to do to the house, but on my life, Master Haytham, they told him that nobody would be hurt; that it would all happen at the dead of night.’
Something occurred to me. ‘Why did they even need him?’
She looked perplexed.
‘He wasn’t even there on the night of the attack,’ I continued. ‘It wasn’t as if they required help getting in. They took Jenny, killed Father. Why was Digweed needed for that?’
‘I don’t know, Master Haytham,’ she said. ‘I really don’t.’
When I looked down at her, it was with a kind of numbness. Before, when I’d been waiting for darkness to fall, anger had been simmering, bubbling within me, the idea of Digweed’s treachery lighting a fire beneath my fury, the idea that Betty had colluded, or even known, adding fuel to it.
I’d wanted her to be innocent. Most of all I’d wanted her dalliance to be with another member of the household. But if it was with Digweed then I wanted her to know nothing about his betrayal. I wanted her to be innocent, for if s
he was guilty then I had to kill her, because if she could have done something to stop the slaughter of that night and failed to act, then she had to die. That was … that was justice. It was cause and effect. Checks and balances. An eye for an eye. And that’s what I believe in. That’s my ideology. A way of negotiating a passage through life that makes sense even when life itself so rarely does. A way of imposing order upon chaos.
But the last thing I wanted to do was kill her.
‘Where is he now?’ I asked softly.
‘I don’t know, Master Haytham.’ Her voice quavered with fear. ‘The last time I heard from him was the morning he disappeared.’
‘Who else knew you and he were lovers?’
‘Nobody,’ she replied. ‘We were always so careful.’
‘Apart from leaving his boots in view.’
‘They were moved sharpish.’ Her eyes hardened. ‘And most folk weren’t in the habit of peering through the keyhole.’
There was a pause. ‘What happens now, Master Haytham?’ she said, a catch in her voice.
‘I should kill you, Betty,’ I said simply, and looking into her eyes I saw the realization dawn on her that I could if I wanted to; that I was capable of doing it.
She whimpered.
I stood. ‘But I won’t. There’s already been too much death as a result of that night. We will not meet again. For your years of service and nurture I award you your life and leave you with your shame. Goodbye.’
14 July 1747
i
After neglecting my journal for almost two weeks I have much to tell and should recap, going right back to the night I visited Betty.
After leaving I’d returned to my lodgings, slept for a few fitful hours, then rose, dressed and took a carriage back to her house. There I bid the driver wait some distance away, close enough to see, but not close enough to draw suspicion, and as he snoozed, grateful for the rest, I sat and gazed out of the window, and waited.
For what? I didn’t know for sure. Yet again I was listening to my instinct.
And yet again it proved correct, for not long after daybreak, Betty appeared.
I dismissed the driver, followed her on foot and, sure enough, she made her way to the General Post Office on Lombard Street, went in, reappeared some minutes later, and then made her way back along the street until she was swallowed up by the crowds.
I watched her go, feeling nothing, not the urge to follow her and slit her throat for her treachery, not even the vestiges of the affection we once had. Just … nothing.
Instead I took up position in a doorway and watched the world go by, flicking beggars and street sellers away with my cane as I waited for perhaps an hour until …
Yes, there he was – the letter carrier, carrying his bell and case full of mail. I pushed myself out of the doorway and, twirling my cane, followed him, closer and closer until he moved on to a side road where there were fewer pedestrians, and I spotted my chance …
Moments later I was kneeling by his bleeding and unconscious body in an alleyway, sorting through the contents of his letter case until I found it – an envelope addressed to ‘Jack Digweed’. I read it – it said that she loved him, and that I had found out about their relationship; nothing in there I didn’t already know – but it wasn’t the contents of the letter I was interested in so much as the destination, and there it was on the front of the envelope, which was bound for the Black Forest, for a small town called St Peter, not far from Freiburg.
Almost two weeks of journeying later, Reginald and I came within sight of St Peter in the distance, a cluster of buildings nestled at the bottom of a valley otherwise rich with verdant fields and patches of forest. That was this morning.
ii
We reached it at around noon, dirty and tired from our travels. Trotting slowly through narrow, labyrinthine streets, I saw the upturned faces of the residents, glimpsed either from pathways or turning quickly away from windows, closing doors and drawing curtains. We had death on our minds, and at the time I thought they somehow knew this, or perhaps were easily spooked. What I didn’t know was that we weren’t the first strangers to ride into town that morning. The townspeople were already spooked.
The letter had been addressed care of the St Peter General Store. We came to a small plaza, with a fountain shaded by chestnut trees, and asked for directions from a nervous townswoman. Others gave us a wide berth as she pointed the way then sidled off, staring at her shoes. Moments later we were tethering our horses outside the store and walking in, only for the sole customer to take a look at us and decide to stock up on provisions another time. Reginald and I exchanged a confused look, then I cast an eye over the store. Tall, wooden shelves lined three sides, stocked with jars and packets tied up with twine, while at the back was a high counter behind which stood the storekeeper, wearing an apron, a wide moustache and a smile that had faded like an exhausted candle on getting a good look at us.
To my left was a set of steps used to reach the high shelves. On them sat a boy, about ten years old, the storekeeper’s son, by the look of him. He almost lost his footing in his haste to scuttle off the steps and stand in the middle of the floor with his hands by his side, awaiting his orders.
‘Good afternoon, gentlemen,’ said the shopkeeper in German. ‘You look like you have been riding a long time. You need some supplies to continue your journey?’ He indicated an urn on the counter before him. ‘You need some refreshments perhaps? A drink?’
Next he was waving a hand at the boy. ‘Christophe, have you forgotten your manners? Take the gentlemen’s coats …’
There were three stools in front of the counter and the shopkeeper waved a hand at them, saying, ‘Please, please, take a seat.’
I glanced again at Reginald, saw he was about to move forward to accept the storekeeper’s offer of hospitality, and stopped him.
‘No, thank you,’ I said to the shopkeeper. ‘My friend and I don’t intend to stay.’ From the corner of my eye I saw Reginald’s shoulders sag, but he said nothing. ‘All we need from you is information,’ I added.
A cautious look fell across the shopkeeper’s face like a dark curtain. ‘Yes?’ he said warily.
‘We need to find a man. His name is Digweed. Jack Digweed. Are you acquainted with him?’
He shook his head.
‘You don’t know him at all?’ I pressed.
Again the shake of the head.
‘Haytham …’ said Reginald, as though he could read my mind from the tone of my voice.
I ignored him. ‘Are you quite sure about that?’ I insisted.
‘Yes, sir,’ said the shopkeeper. His moustache quivered nervously. He swallowed.
I felt my jaw tighten; then, before anybody had a chance to react, I’d drawn my sword and with my outstretched arm tucked the blade beneath Christophe’s chin. The boy gasped, raised himself on his tiptoes, and his eyes darted as the blade pressed into his throat. I hadn’t taken my eyes off the shopkeeper.
‘Haytham …’ said Reginald again.
‘Let me handle this, please, Reginald,’ I said, and addressed the storekeeper: ‘Digweed’s letters are sent care of this address,’ I said. ‘Let me ask you again. Where is he?’
‘Sir,’ pleaded the shopkeeper. His eyes darted from me to Christophe, who was making a series of low noises, as though he were finding it difficult to swallow. ‘Please don’t hurt my son.’
His pleas fell on deaf ears.
‘Where is he?’ I repeated.
‘Sir,’ pleaded the owner. His hands implored. ‘I cannot say.’
With a tiny flick of the wrist I increased the pressure of my blade on Christophe’s throat and was rewarded with a whimper. From the corner of my eye I saw the boy rise even higher on his tiptoes and felt, but did not see, Reginald’s discomfort to the other side of me. All the time, my eyes never left those of the shopkeeper.
‘Please sir, please sir,’ he said quickly, those imploring hands waving in the air as though he were trying to ju
ggle an invisible glass, ‘I can’t say. I was warned not to.’
‘Ah-ha,’ I said. ‘Who? Who warned you? Was it him? Was it Digweed?’
‘No, sir,’ insisted the shopkeeper. ‘I haven’t seen Master Digweed for some weeks. This was … someone else, but I can’t tell you – I can’t tell you who. These men, they were serious.’
‘But I think we know that I, too, am serious,’ I said with a smile, ‘and the difference between them and me is that I am here and they are not. Now tell me. How many men, who were they and what did they want to know?’
His eyes flicked from me to Christophe, who though brave and stoic and displaying the kind of fortitude under duress that I’d hope for my own son, whimpered again nonetheless, which must have made up the storekeeper’s mind, because his moustache trembled a little more, then he spoke, quickly, the words tumbling from him.
‘They were here, sir,’ he said. ‘Just an hour or so ago. Two men with long black coats over the red tunics of the British Army, who came into the store just as you did and asked the whereabouts of Master Digweed. When I told them, thinking little of it, they became very grave, sir, and told me that some more men might arrive looking for Master Digweed, and, if they did, then I was to deny all knowledge of him, on pain of death, and not to say that they had been here.’
‘Where is he?’
‘A cabin, fifteen miles north of here in the woods.’
Neither Reginald nor I said a word. We both knew we didn’t have a minute to spare, and without pausing to make more threats, or to say goodbye, or perhaps even apologize to Christophe for frightening him half to death, we both dashed out of the door, untethered and mounted our steeds, and spurred them on with yells.
We rode as hard as we dared for over half an hour, until we had covered maybe eight miles of pasture, all of it uphill, our horses now becoming tired. We came to a tree line, only to discover that it was a narrow band of pine, and we arrived on the other side to see a ribbon of trees stretching around the summit of a hill on either side. Meanwhile, in front of us the ground sloped down into more woodland, then away, undulating like a huge blanket of green, patched with forestry, grass and fields.
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