by S. E. Lund
"Any idea who did this?"
Jerome shrugged. "Who can say? Our best guys are on it, but these hackers are pretty savvy. They know how to cover their tracks. We may never know. What we need to do is maybe train new employees better, so they don't get fooled by these phishing attempts."
"I'll talk to HR about an extra module on IT security."
We ended the meeting and I spent the next hour talking to my staff in HR about the data breach and what steps we could put in place to prevent it from happening again. Better training, in other words.
My only concern was who hacked us and why, but unfortunately, that was something we might never know.
For the next couple of days, I spent most of my time in the office, catching up on work and my nights with Ella. She never asked me again about my trip to Alabama and I never volunteered.
I hadn't heard anything from the rehab facility, so I assumed that things were going as expected. The intake worker I spoke with on the phone said that the first few days were the hardest as the addict went through withdrawal, although they did try to minimize the discomfort and for someone addicted to heroin or opiates, the facility used other medications such as methadone or buprenorphine.
Finally, I got a text from the manager of the facility that Penny had passed through the first phase of detox and would be staying at the facility for the full six weeks of treatment.
I sent him an email thanking him for the update and that he should keep in touch, so I knew how Penny was doing. I wouldn't feel better until I knew she'd been successful.
I felt it was the least I could do.
17
Ella
The next few days, I held off asking Josh about his trip to Millbrook, although I really wanted to know more about it. He'd tell me when he felt able, and I had to trust him to do so when the time was right. I realized it must have been something really personal for him to feel such deep guilt about it.
On Friday, in the morning just after I finished meeting with Sharon to review our week and talk about upcoming deadlines, I got a text from a number I didn't recognize. There was no name associated with the text, just a number.
.....If you want to know more about the man you're currently sleeping with, you should follow this link.
ELLA: Who is this? If you don't identify yourself, I'll assume you're a troll or a hacker and I'll call IT.
.....You won't want to do that. Believe me, you'll want to know this about the man you're with. You don't really know anything about him and what he's done in the past. Ask him about his little trip to California. He was with her there. He's been fucking her for years. If you thought he stopped when he met you, you're wrong.
ELLA: I already know about his trip so sorry, you're not going to get me to click on your link.
.....You know about Penny? His little fucktoy?
That surprised me. Penny? I'd never heard Josh mention that name. He'd told me before about Christie and another girlfriend he had in college called Jennifer, but he'd never mentioned Penelope.
ELLA: I know all about Penny. You're not telling me anything I don't already know.
.....Then how can you continue to see him? He's cheating on you with her and you don't care?
ELLA: Don't contact me again or I'll have the police find out who you are and charge you.
......With what? Telling the truth?
I closed the text and deleted the number. Then, I blocked the number so whoever it was couldn't text me again.
But I kept the link.
I copied it and had it sitting on a document, just in case I decided I wanted to see it.
Did I want to see it?
Was it proof that Josh cheated on me with this woman, Penny? Had he been cheating on me with her all long?
I used my VPN and inserted the link in my browser. It didn't appear to be a suspect site according to my security software, so I clicked on it.
It took me to a website with several images of a woman -- a beautiful woman with long blonde hair, pretty, model-tall. She was smiling, and Josh was beside her, holding up a glass of beer. A younger Josh, and what looked like a very happy Josh. Then another of them leaning in together, taken from behind, in a venue of some sort that appeared to be a club. Finally, one of him with his arm around her shoulder, with her leaning against the counter and him facing her, looking in her face. It appeared to be in a kitchen. I could make out a cupboard, and a sink, plus a window with lacy drapes. The date of the image was the weekend that Josh made the trip to his friend's funeral in Millbrook.
He must have been with her then.
Someone wanted to tell me that my boyfriend was cheating or had cheated on me with a girl called Penelope. Who could it have been? Was it a friend of theirs? Was it someone who knew me and was concerned about me?
Was it this Penny person herself?
I felt sick to my stomach and didn't know what to do with myself. I got up and cleaned my file cabinet out, reordering the files in a different alphabetical order. I rearranged the items on the top of my cabinet. I cleaned out my desk and changed the place where I kept my pens, pencils and other supplies.
I did everything I could not to think about Josh and this Penny woman the person messaged me about, but I couldn't escape the conclusion that Josh had cheated on me with Penny when he was in Millbrook.
He said he wasn't proud of something relating to Grant's death. Had he gone to the funeral and had sex after with this woman named Penelope?
I took out my cell and texted Steph.
ELLA: I need your advice.
A moment later, Steph responded.
STEPH: Shoot. I'm all ears... (or in this case, eyes)
ELLA: You remember that Josh said he had something to tell me, but he wasn't ready yet to talk about it. He said it was something he wasn't proud of that had to do with his trip to go to the funeral of his old Army buddy, Grant.
STEPH: Yes, I remember. Did he get into a fight or something? Did he say something stupid at the memorial? Did he steal the mother's silverware? (Sorry, just trying to lighten the mood)
ELLA: Someone from a phone number I don't recognize just sent me a text claiming that Josh cheated on me with a woman named Penny. That she was his fucktoy. This person sent me a link with pics of Josh and this beautiful woman. One is dated a few days ago when Josh was at a funeral in Alabama.
STEPH: Oh, hun, I'm so sorry. Maybe Penny is an old girlfriend that he saw when he was at the funeral? Maybe it was all in the past?
ELLA: That was what I hoped was the case, but he said he felt guilt about something. Maybe he met her at the funeral and they had sex. Maybe he's guilty about it and is waiting to tell me about it when the right time comes.
STEPH: And what would that right time be?
ELLA: I have no idea. When he has enough balls to tell me?
STEPH: What would you think if he did tell you he cheated on you?
I didn't respond right away. What would I think? Of course, there was only one thing to do.
ELLA: I'd tell him to go fuck himself.
STEPH: Really?
ELLA: Yes. I was cheated on for years. Josh knew that. He was cheated on for years, too. How could he do it?
STEPH: Maybe it was when he was drunk and sad about his friend?
ELLA: That doesn't excuse it. Nope. If he did, we're through. Better I find out now than down the line when I think something more is going to happen between us.
STEPH: I guess you have to ask Josh. Get him to tell you about Penelope.
ELLA: *sigh* I hate confrontations. I try to avoid them at all costs. I'd rather send him an email and never see him again.
STEPH: You know you have to ask him now that you got that phone call and saw the pics. Just ask him. Say, "Tell me about Penny.” Leave it at that. Let him expand. See if he admits he cheated.
ELLA: What if he says he hasn't seen her for years?
STEPH: Then, you have to tell him about the phone call and that you saw pics of them and see ho
w he responds. The caller may be this Penny person who's jealous and is lying to get back at you or something.
ELLA: That's devious.
STEPH: Hun, I excel in recognizing and anticipating devious. I grew up with a sister who was devious as all get out and I had to learn to protect myself.
I remembered Steph talking about her sister when we first met in high school. Her older sister was a confirmed sociopath, who was a compulsive liar and thief who did terrible things and was finally sent to juvenile detention because of it. She moved away when Steph's mother and father finally had enough and cut her off. As far as I knew, Sheila was grifting somewhere in Boston, trying to find rich boyfriends to mooch off. She was beautiful and used her body to control men. She was so beautiful that men seemed to lose their minds with her and showered her with gifts and money. She clearly used them for their wealth.
Steph was worried that one day, Sheila would kill one of her men for insurance money.
ELLA: I'll ask Josh. I'll have to work up the nerve first. I was so happy, Steph, and now this happens...
STEPH: The course of true love never did run smooth. Or so Willie Shakespeare says.
ELLA: *sigh*
STEPH: Ask him about Penny and let him tell you. You'll have to decide what to believe and whether to believe based on what he says. Sorry, kiddo. That's what you have to do.
ELLA: You're right. I'll ask him tomorrow.
STEPH: Let me know how it goes, and hun, I can come down there on the weekend if things don't work out the way you wish they would. Just let me know and I'll be there.
ELLA: Thanks. XOXOXO
STEPH: XOXOXO back at you.
I put away my cell and sat at my desk, feeling especially glum.
I knew Steph was right. I had to confront Josh about this Penny woman and see what he said. I'd have a pretty good idea if he cheated on me by his answer. If he did, I just couldn't be with him. I couldn't tolerate a cheater, no matter the reason. I didn't care if he cheated on me because he was upset about the funeral. That wasn't good enough to justify sleeping with another woman.
No, sadly, if Josh cheated on me while he was away at the funeral, that was the end of our relationship. My stomach felt sick as I contemplated us breaking up. I couldn't imagine it.
The problem was, I didn't want to know. I didn't.
Josh and I were so good together. There was never a dull moment, and the sex was off the charts. We both valued the same things and had the same goals.
It was Friday at lunch. I checked the Amtrak schedule -- a train was leaving at five thirty. I had enough time to get to my apartment, pack a bag, and then go to Concord.
I texted my mother.
ELLA: Hey, Mom. I need to get away for the weekend. Is it okay if I come home? Just until Sunday night? I won't be home until one in the morning so don't wait up.
MOM: Nonsense. I'll be there to pick you up. I don't want you taking a taxi home at that hour.
ELLA: No seriously. I'll be fine. I've been living in Manhattan and can take care of myself. Go to bed. You know you're useless after ten at night.
MOM: If you say so... I don't like it though. If you change your mind, I can come and meet you at the bus station.
ELLA: No, really. See you in the morning, okay?
MOM: Okay. You do know that your father is in Washington for a meeting.
ELLA: I know he's away.
MOM: Is there something wrong, dear? This is kind of out of the blue.
ELLA: It's good actually. I just need to get away from the bustle of the city for a few days.
Then, I thought better of it.
ELLA: Oh, hell. Yes, something's wrong. Someone told me that Josh cheated on me with an old girlfriend. Or maybe he never stopped seeing her. I don't know which. Regardless, I saw pics of him with her a week ago when he was at the funeral of his friend from the Army.
MOM: Did you ask him about it?
ELLA: What's he going to say? Yes?
MOM: He might say no. That your source was wrong.
ELLA: The pics don't lie. I will talk to him about it, but now, I need some time away to get my mind straight.
MOM: Oh, dear. It sounds like you're in far deeper than I suspected. You really care about Josh.
ELLA: I thought I did. I thought he cared about me, but if this is true, I guess I should swear off men altogether.
MOM: Oh, sweetheart, no. Don't say that. You just have to find the right man. You will. Give it time.
ELLA: Whatever. I have to go back to my apartment and get ready. See you in the morning.
MOM: I love you, Ellie.
ELLA: Love you back.
I sent Sharon an email saying I'd developed a crushing migraine and needed to take the rest of the day off. She was fine with it and hoped I felt better. I knew she'd be generous and let me leave early.
I debated whether to call Reg and ask him to take me home, but I just didn't want to risk running into Josh. I didn't want to have to see or talk to anyone. I just wanted to go somewhere and be completely alone.
So, I left the building and didn't bother to call Reg for the car. I certainly didn't tell Josh. I didn't want to have to confront him about this Penelope woman.
How could he do it to me, knowing what I'd gone through?
I left the building through the back entrance and walked to the subway, then made my way to my apartment in Chelsea. When I got inside, I quickly packed an overnight bag with enough clothes and personal effects to take me through to Sunday night. I grabbed my laptop and case and left, taking the subway to Penn Station.
I felt a heavy weight of sadness descend over me as I waited for the train. I could have confronted Josh, gone to his office and demanded he tell me about Penny, but all I really wanted to do was cry.
I wasn't going to do that.
I was not going to cry over Josh. Instead, I'd go away for a few days and get my head clear.
The trip from New York to Boston took four and a half hours. It was more than enough time for me to worry that I'd made a mistake and shouldn't have run off so quickly. I wasn't going to change course and go back. I told myself that it would be a nice break from the daily routine. I told myself that I could get away from everything for a couple of days, recharge and the go back and face Josh and learn the truth about Penny.
Whoever she was and whatever Josh did with her. It made me sick to even consider him with another woman. Not because of the sex, but because of the betrayal. He'd been betrayed by Christie. I'd been betrayed by Derek.
How could he do that to me?
If he had, I was completely and totally wrong about him.
I realized I had grown far too attached to Josh far too quickly. It was a mistake to let myself fall so easily. I didn't really know him very well, after all.
Of course, he sent me a text asking where I was.
JOSH: Hey, where are you? I popped down to see you and Sharon said you'd gone home with a migraine. Hope you're feeling better, but you really should have told Reg you were leaving. I don't like the thought of you going around on your own until we know who Mr. Fedora really is.
I didn't answer right away but then I realized he'd text me and pester me until I did.
ELLA: I have a really bad migraine. I told you that I get them now and then. They can last a couple of days, so I'm sorry if we have to cancel plans to spend the weekend together. I'll let you know when the migraine lifts. Sorry about this.
JOSH: Don't apologize for something you can't control. Can I come by and look after you? I could bring chicken soup or ice cream, or whatever makes you feel better when you get a migraine. Coffee? Chocolate? Or are those triggers? I can't remember.
ELLA: No, just time and my meds make it better. I'll let you know.
JOSH: Okay. Miss you.
ELLA: Me, too.
I didn't send my usual response filled with XOXOXOs.
I just couldn't do it.
The bus arrived a half hour after midnight and I was one of a dozen peo
ple on the bus from Boston. I was exceptionally tired and sad when I got off the bus and wasn't at all surprised to see my mother waiting beside her car.
"Mom, I told you not to," I said, and we hugged. She was wearing a coat over her pajamas and didn't seem to care.
"I couldn't let you take a cab home so late at night. I don't care what you said. Now, get in and let's get you home."
We drove up to the house and my mom parked the car in the circular driveway. I got out and stood in front of the house I grew up in and breathed in the fresh night air. It smelled a lot different in Concord than in Manhattan.
Of course, I associated that smell with meeting and falling for Josh, and it brought back a wave of sadness that things had fallen apart so quickly after being so promising.
"Come on dear," my mother said, as if sensing my sadness. "Let's get you into your PJs and into your bed."
I let her put her arm around me and lead me inside, glad for the comfort.
Later, after changing into my pajamas, I laid in my bed and she kissed me on the cheek.
"Whatever happened today, it will look better in the morning. Good night, dear."
"Good night mom," I said.
My cell dinged, and I knew it was Josh, so I turned my cell off completely. Then, I turned over, closing my eyes, knowing that sleep would be a long time in coming.
18
Josh
I read over Ella's text and something didn't feel quite right about it.
I remembered that she said she sometimes got headaches, especially when she didn't get enough sleep or was under stress. We'd been staying up late and sometimes waking up to have sex in the middle of the night. Was I running her ragged?
I just couldn't get enough of her and she seemed to feel the same way, responsive to my every touch and kiss.
I thought of her lying alone in her apartment's Murphy bed and felt bad, but I needed to give her the space to get over the migraine if she asked for it. My instinct was to go and stay with her, or better yet, have her come and stay at the apartment with me for the weekend so I could look after her, but I didn't want to argue with her when she was in pain.