by Hazel Kelly
"You've been promoted. Come with me."
He set the wood down where he stood and fell in line behind Andi.
Our first stop was the cooler. "Arms out, Bobby."
He did as I asked, and I loaded his outstretched arms with enough 40’s to make a small pyramid.
"Can I help?" Andi asked.
"You're good," I said, leading them behind the barn to where a tractor with an open trailer full of hay was parked in a shadowy laneway that divided two fields of corn.
I stopped at the back of the trailer first and flipped the step down, extending a hand to Andi.
She took it and stepped up into the bed of hay.
"Here," I said, handing the first two beers up.
She grabbed them, set them down, and reached back for three more.
When she disappeared from view, Bobby put his foot on the step.
I laid a hand on his chest. "Actually, you're driving."
The redness drained from his face.
"Make yourself comfortable, Andi,” I called. “I'll be right back."
"I can't drive a tractor," Bobby objected as he followed me around the trailer.
"Sure you can," I said. "It's easy. And there won't be any traffic for you to worry about. The only rule is don't flatten any corn and don't go too fast."
“That’s two rules.”
“Whatever.” I stopped beside the tractor and pointed towards the wide driver's seat. "Up you go."
He shook his head as he climbed the steps.
I followed him up and made him scoot over so I could explain the controls.
He paid close attention and recited all my instructions back to me.
"Good," I said, patting him on the back. "You got this." I lowered my first foot back onto the ladder. "Now put the key in, count to ten Mississippi, and then follow that line towards the horizon."
He swallowed. "What if I have to piss?"
"Stop the tractor first and then piss. What the hell kind of question is that?"
"Sorry. I understand."
I climbed down, walked around back, and stepped up onto the wide truck bed.
When Andi came into view, I felt my whole chest swell.
"Well, howdy partner," she said, taking a sip from the big bottle in her hand.
She'd spread a blue blanket across the bed of hay and was leaning back against the stacked bales behind her.
Her legs were extended out in front of her and crossed at the ankles, and the braids hanging over her shoulders caught small flecks of light that made them sparkle as if they were harboring small fireflies.
"Aren't you a vision," I said, sitting down beside her as the engine sputtered to life.
The tractor jolted into motion a moment later, and we watched as the distance between us and the barn slowly grew.
"So," Andi said, breaking the comfortable silence. "Do you always bring your barn dance dates on a hay ride?"
"Pretty much. But you're the first I've gone out with alone."
She cocked her head. "Really?"
"Yeah," I said, reaching for the forty in her hand. "Usually a bunch of us go out together."
"Sounds like fun."
"It is. But I figured since I have a date tonight who's actually decent company on her own, I could make do without the extra people."
She smiled. "No pressure."
"Plus, it's nice to get away from all the drama for a while." I took a swig from the forty and handed it back to her.
"I can imagine."
"It gets a bit stressful living in close quarters with sixty jackasses whose mistakes have a direct impact on your personal reputation."
"I couldn't handle that."
I shrugged. "I don't know why anyone thinks they can."
"Do you regret it? Joining the house?"
I shook my head. "No. A lot of those jackasses are my best friends, and they'd do anything for me."
She nodded.
"But I have a lot of respect for you that you didn't get into the whole scene, especially at this school where the Greek system is such an overwhelming presence."
"It's not like it was a difficult decision," she said. "The thought of going from being an only child to having sixty sisters seemed way more stressful than it seemed exciting."
"Understandable."
"Plus, I don't like being told what to do, who I can and can't be friends with, where I have to be all the time, and what to wear." She shook her head. "That sounds like a nightmare."
"Yeah, it's not for everybody, though I feel confident saying frats are a little more lax."
She laughed. "Lax isn't the word I'd use, but okay."
I knew what she meant. And while part of me felt like I should be offended, I knew I didn't have to defend myself to her.
She wasn't judging me and my choices. She was just being honest, being Andi.
And it was refreshing to be around someone who wasn't prepared to suck up to me just to get a notch on their bedpost.
Being with her was fun, but it meant something, too, and meaningful wasn't how I would describe most of the relationships I'd had with women recently.
And once again the thought crossed my mind that I actually owed that dickrag Mike a favor.
Because if it weren't for him, I might not have realized how special she was, how special she'd always been.
It was like I was finally seeing her properly for the first time.
And wild horses couldn’t have made me look away.
Chapter 25: Andi
The glowing barn just looked like another star on the horizon after a while, and the hum of the tractor engine became hypnotic in its monotony.
To be honest, I probably could've taken a nap if Shane didn't have his arm over my shoulder.
And as guilty as it made me feel, I didn't want to push him away and pretend I thought he was gross. Because I didn't.
I thought he was funny and handsome and kind, and I didn't want to overthink things and deny myself a moment that any other woman would just enjoy.
And to think I'd spent the whole afternoon convinced I'd made a mistake saying I would come to this thing.
I worried that he'd leave me alone in pits of sorority girls and that I'd be forced to make superficial small talk with people while everyone around me did choreographed dances that I couldn't pick up the steps to.
But he hadn't abandoned me at all.
On the contrary, he'd stolen me away, and he seemed as happy as I was about it.
After all, having him all to myself was such a rare treat, and I was finally getting a chance to know what it felt like to be the center of his attention, which was akin to drinking sweet tea- warming and energizing and good for my soul.
I took a deep breath, letting the earthy scent of the hay fill my chest without lifting my head off his shoulder.
Shane shifted the arm that was around me and turned his face so his lips spoke against the part in my hair. "You fading on me?"
"No," I said. "Just enjoying the moment."
"Care to drag it out or do you want to head back?"
I lifted my head and looked at him.
His face was so close to mine and so handsome in the way it caught the moonlight.
"Is dragging it out an option?” I asked.
"Of course."
"Well, as long as you don't think I'm lame for keeping you from the party…"
He pushed against the hay bales behind us and rose to his feet, causing his cowboy hat to fall from his lap down beside me. "Trust me. We're not missing anything that doesn't happen every night of the week on campus."
"It's your big senior dance," I said. "I'm just along for the ride so it's your call."
He nodded and climbed over the bales at the front of the trailer. "Bobby! Bobby!"
I shamelessly stared at the panty wetting view I had of his butt.
"Turn off the engine!" Shane called.
The tractor engine clicked to a stop.
"Did I do something wrong?" Bob
by asked.
"No. Just put the parking break on and come around to the back of the trailer." Shane climbed down off the stacked bales, picked up one of the unopened 40’s, and went to meet him by the stairs.
"Everything okay?" Bobby asked, barely tall enough to see me over the truck bed.
"Everything is great, thanks." Shane took a knee and handed him the beer. "You’re relieved for the night."
"You driving back then?" Bobby asked.
"I am."
I heard Bobby screw the cap off his beer.
"But you're walking,” Shane said.
"What?"
"And in exchange for you not whining like a pussy, you get a beer for the walk and your choice between fifty bucks or a free poker lesson."
"I guess I could use the lesson."
"Good choice,” Shane said.
"Is it true that you won a grand at the tournament on Wednesday?"
"Yeah, but keep that to yourself."
"Wow."
Shane held a hand out, and Bobby tossed him the keys.
"Now take a hike," he said. “And if anyone asks where I am, you haven't seen me."
Bobby took off down the dirt road, and Shane rose to his feet.
"A grand huh?" I asked when he turned around. "No wonder he chose the lesson."
He shook his head. "For just one second, I'd like to feel like not everyone knows my business."
"Maybe you should conduct all your business in cornfields?"
He laughed. "Based on how things go tonight, I might consider it."
"And how would you say they're going so far?" I asked, watching him take a seat beside me again.
"Mmm." He held his chin in thought. "Are you looking for a letter grade or a score out of ten?"
"If you even think about ranking me on any type of scale, I will kill you."
"That's what I thought," he said. "But to answer your question, I think they’re going great."
"Because my pigtails are adorable?"
He smiled. "Among other things."
I wanted to ask what things, but I would’ve only been digging for compliments, and the fact that he chose to spend the whole evening with me alone was compliment enough.
"I noticed your lip is better," he said.
I touched the place where the cut used to be. "Yeah. I Neosporined the shit out of it all week."
"That is your signature move."
"God I hope not. Talk about the least cool signature move ever."
"I think it's a pretty good signature move for someone so accident prone."
I cocked my head. "Am I really that accident prone?"
He raised his eyebrows. "Is that a joke?"
"I mean, like, more than other people?"
"Let's see,” he said. “Your mom sent you to school with a bagel cutter and enough ShamWows to open a warehouse."
"Hey- you’ve benefitted from those, too."
“Your dad put extra locks on your door to increase the likelihood that you’d remember to actually use one of them.”
I shrugged. “He’s always been overprotective.”
"And you’re the only person I know that has a loyalty card for the dry cleaners."
I craned my neck back. "Is that not normal?"
"In college? Are you serious?"
"Fine. Maybe I'm a little clumsy sometimes."
"It doesn't matter," he said. "I only mention it because sometimes it's hard to tell whether something is an accident with you or-"
"Like what?" I asked, leaning against the hay behind us.
"Like kissing me back last weekend."
I glanced down at my lap. "Oh, that."
"Yeah, that."
"That was-" My eyes searched his face. How could he look so calm when my whole body felt so squirmy? "Unexpected."
He raised his eyebrows.
"I think Steph had to take a cold shower after that."
"So did I," he said.
I swallowed.
"To be honest, part of me felt guilty for getting carried away like that after the weekend you had-"
"Don't feel that way," I said. "It was nice."
"Well, fuck, Andi. I wasn't going for nice."
I smiled.
"If I was only going for nice, I wouldn’t have even bothered."
I raised my eyebrows. "You thought it was better than that, did you?"
He fixed his eyes on mine. "Didn't you?"
My lips fell apart.
"I was hard all week just thinking about it. About you."
The shock of his words made my throat close up.
"Sorry. You didn't need to know that."
I angled my body towards him. "Maybe it was better than nice." I laid a hand on his cheek and dropped my eyes to his lips. "Remind me."
He kissed me with an urgency that flooded my body with warmth. And as he sucked the breath from me, I lost my mind in his mouth.
He was right. It was better than nice.
It was the kind of kiss that needed its own backing track, the kind of kiss that could save your life.
He reached over and pulled my hips towards him.
It was only after I straddled his lap and felt his thick fingertips sink into my thighs that I realized my skirt was up around my waist.
I hung my arms on his shoulders and settled in, letting the kisses I'd wanted to give him for fifteen years pour out of me.
But it wasn’t a friendly exchange.
He kissed me like he was two seconds away from pulling my hair and stretching me open, and when he pulled my ass towards him so my thin white underwear was right against his hard shaft, I knew it wasn't in my head.
He wanted me, too, and there was no one around to stop us from having each other, from going too far, from making the biggest, most glorious mistake of our lives.
I tilted my hips just enough to feel the length of him against my clit.
He moved his mouth to my neck, pushing my pigtail out of the way so he could kiss the delicate flesh behind it.
I tried to catch my breath then, but my whole body was flickering like a flame. "Shane," I whispered when his fingers found the buttons of my shirt.
I let my head fall back and looked at the sky.
And as I rocked against him, I lost myself in how solid he was and how free I felt in his arms.
Chapter 26: Shane
I shouldn't have been so surprised at how much I liked hearing her whisper my name.
I’d always loved her voice, her laugh.
But this sound spurred me on and filled me with a singular focus.
I wanted to make Andi come.
She was always so stubborn and independent. I wanted to make her surrender. I wanted to see the look on her face when she gave in to all the good feelings she deserved to enjoy.
And I wanted to make her say my name again and again and again.
I pushed her shirt off her shoulders and cradled the base of her neck as I kissed my way down to her collarbone.
When I unhooked her bra, she inhaled sharply, and I reached under it to cup her breasts.
"Shane- I-"
"Shhh," I said, grazing my thumbs across her nipples until they puckered for me.
She wiggled her arms from her shirt and dropped her bra to one side.
"You're so beautiful," I whispered, pushing a stray wisp of hair out of her face.
Her eyes were shiny, and I could see by her expression that she trusted me. It was a trust I knew I wouldn’t dare betray, no matter how much I wanted from her.
I lowered my face to one of her breasts and pulled her tight nipple into my mouth, listening as a soft groan escaped her throat.
With every flick of my tongue, I ached and swelled more for her.