by Sarah Morgan
‘How can a relationship work if you don’t like each other as you really are? How can that sort of relationship be anything but false?’
It was a fair question. ‘I was surprised you agreed to be his best man.’
‘Why do you think I did that, Hayley?’ There was something in his voice I didn’t understand. An urgency that made no sense. ‘Charlie and I have barely spoken since that night he got drunk and I drove you home.’
‘Then why—’
‘I agreed because he told me you were a bridesmaid. At first I didn’t believe him. I couldn’t believe they’d asked you to do that and I couldn’t believe you’d agreed.’
I shifted awkwardly. ‘You were worried I’d screw it up for them?’
‘No. I was worried you’d be very hurt.’ His jaw was tight. ‘I was worried you’d fall apart at the wedding and need someone to look out for you. I was there because of you.’
I felt a lump in my throat. ‘Me?’
‘You asked why I agreed to be best man. That’s why. You were the reason.’
‘You—’ I gulped. ‘You kept looking at me throughout the ceremony. I thought you disapproved.’
‘Cristo—’ He dragged his fingers through his hair, exasperated. ‘I was watching you to make sure you were all right. How could you not have known that? I was afraid you would fall apart.’
‘I fell apart in a big way.’
‘I must admit I hadn’t expected it to be quite that literal.’ His eyes gleamed. ‘You looked so horrified I just wanted to get you out of there.’
‘I’ve been checking YouTube for the video,’ I confessed. ‘There has to be one.’
‘There was. But no one is going to upload it, I made sure of that.’
‘You did? How?’
He stroked his thumb slowly over my lower lip. ‘Let’s just say I used lawyerly intimidation.’
I felt weak with relief. ‘I knew there had to be a reason why no one had posted it. I had no idea it was you. You—you said I made bad decisions.’
‘Dating Charlie was a bad decision. Agreeing to be their bridesmaid was worse.’
And I’d had no idea that was how he felt. But suddenly I was seeing it all differently. The way Rosie had seen it. ‘You were always there when I needed someone. You gave me your jacket, you drove me home when Charlie was drunk and acted like a dickhead, you gave me multiple orgasms when I thought I was going to die of frustration—’
‘I want so much more than your thanks.’ He cupped my face in his hands and my heart was pounding so hard I was surprised people couldn’t hear it over the music.
‘You do?’
‘Yes. I want you. And I really do mean you—’ His fingers bit into my head and his eyes were fierce on mine. ‘Not a version of you I’ve made up to suit my own needs, but the real you. The you I saw that first night. The clever you. The you that knows about engines and wants a job with NASA. The you that can add up endless numbers in your head as a party gimmick. The you that loves llamas and would do anything for her sister. The you I’ve thought about every night for twenty months, three weeks and one day.’
I couldn’t breathe. ‘Nico—’
‘The you that would turn up at your ex’s wedding because you’re too proud to tell him he’s a bastard. The you that would wax a turkey and search for “The Niccolò” on your laptop—’
‘All right, enough—’ Blushing furiously, I glanced around, but everyone was too busy gearing up for midnight to take any notice of us. But I’d had enough public humiliation for one year, so I grabbed his hand and dragged him back inside into a quieter corner. ‘My New Year’s resolution was to have emotionless relationships. Just sex and hot men.’
‘I know. But it’s not New Year yet.’ His mouth was close to mine. ‘You still have about four minutes to make a different resolution. Do it, Hayley.’
I stared up at him and what I saw in his eyes made me dizzy. ‘What do you suggest? And I won’t give up chocolate and I’m not keen on ditching alcohol either.’
‘How about giving up having relationships with men who want you to be someone you’re not?’ He spoke softly, his eyes gentle. ‘How about starting the New Year deciding to be you and enjoy it? How about coming back to my place and starting the New Year as we mean to continue it—in bed, in the hot tub, together.’
It was as if someone had kicked my knees. I wanted to slide to the floor.
Everyone was gathered on the terrace waiting for the first chime from Big Ben.
Across the room I could see Rosie with the rest of our friends, all linked together, waiting for the countdown to New Year. We exchanged looks and she smiled. I knew she was thinking I’d be crazy to turn my back on something that felt this good.
I agreed with her.
I slid my arms round his neck.
‘The last five days were the best time I’ve had. Ever.’ I heard Big Ben chime and people started to count. My eyes were fixed on his. This felt like so much more than the start of a New Year.
‘For me, too.’ He spoke against my lips and I smiled.
‘Do I get permanent access to your Tom Ford?’
‘You seem to be wearing it most of the time anyway.’
The clock was still chiming. I’d lost count, but everyone was gathering on the terrace, bumping into us in their haste to get the best view.
A final chime, loud cheers and then an explosion of fireworks and the London skyline lit up.
Nico kissed me, slowly and thoroughly, oblivious to everyone around us and there were definitely more fireworks inside me than there were outside. Finally, he lifted his head. ‘So what’s your New Year’s resolution?’
For the first time in a long while I felt like me. Really me. I realized that this was my life and I could live it the way I wanted to live it. I didn’t have to be someone I didn’t want to be. I was allowed to have dreams and feel excited about my future. And I wanted Nico to be part of that future.
I smiled up at him. ‘Let’s go back to your apartment and I’ll show you.’
THE END
Cosmo Red-Hot Reads from Mills & Boon
ISBN: 9781472062833
RIPPED
© Sarah Morgan 2013
First Published in Great Britain in 2013
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