Finding Memories (Breaking Free Series)

by Becca Taylor

  “Very much.”

  He lies down next to me, pulling my leg over his waist. With his arms around me, he says, “I know I keep saying it, but I really fucking missed you. This. All this.”

  “Me too.”

  After a few gentle kisses, everything becomes more heated. My hands wrap under his arms and around his back, trying to pull him closer. His one hand tangles in my hair while the other is on my thigh until he reaches between us so he can place his length between my legs. Then his hand is on my ass moving me over him. He grunts while I sigh. The noises get louder with each movement. He's not even inside me, yet I am about to come from the way his thickness is rubbing against my clit.

  “Are you going to come?” he asks me.

  “Yes.”

  “Goddammit, you feel good. Come, Jade. Because if you don't now, I'm not going to last when I get inside you.”

  His words send me over the edge, but before I can come down completely, he moves me over him. His hands grip my hips as he slides inside.

  “Jeremy.”

  “Fuck. I can still feel you coming.”

  Once he's fully inside, he pulls my body against him, so our chests are touching. With my head in his hand, he brings my mouth to his. The Jeremy I know is back because this kiss is frenzied, desperate, and powerful. He fists my hair as his tongue devours every inch of my mouth. His other arm is holding me captive and not letting me move. Our bodies are linked, connected. And I always want it to be like this.

  “Please,” I beg as I try to move.

  His grip doesn't loosen around me, though. In a quick motion, he has our positions reversed, our hands laced, and his forehead is against mine.

  “I need a moment.”

  “Okay.”

  But he continues. “I don't know if you fully get everything that is happening here, Jade. I'm committing it to the pile in my life that belongs there. Forever. Every breath, every feeling, and every beautiful sound you make tell me that this is so fucking right between us because I feel it too. You're mine.”

  When he finally starts moving, I feel it … everywhere. Each roll of his hips brings a new sensation, sending electric pulses throughout my entire body. With my legs linked around him, I try to keep bringing him deeper. With his arms wrapped under me as he grips my shoulders, I get the felling he’s trying to do the same; it’s as if we can’t get close enough. Occasionally, he’ll place a gentle kiss on my lips, but most of the time, Jeremy keeps his eyes focused on mine. Our bodies are in constant motion, him moving above me, me moving below him in perfect sync. And I get it—we fit. We fit in every way possible. He belongs here with me, completing me in every way possible.

  “I do feel it, Jeremy.”

  “Feels so fucking good, Jade.”

  “Don’t stop,” I beg as my nails dig into his back.

  Just like I know I’m not going to last long, I can tell he won’t either. We’re both lost in each other in a breathless moment as we hold each other a little tighter. Never wanting to let go. The look on his face has me about to go over the edge. It’s strained as if he’s chasing something, chasing the same relief I am. The veins in his neck get a little more pronounced while his face flushes as he rolls his hips faster, causing him to go deeper still. Then he hits that one spot inside me that brings me to the point of oh, yes, let this sensation never end, but at the same time says good God right there, just keep doing that because I’m teetering on the edge of pure bliss.

  “Come for me, Jade.”

  “So close, Jeremy.”

  “Fuck, me too. I’m right there with you. Come, baby.”

  “Jeremy,” I whimper as the tension in my body releases in the orgasm of my life.

  “Fuck, Jade. So fucking perfect,” Jeremy says.

  His face goes from strained to relaxed as his body shudders. Deeply, he kisses me while he regains control and slows his movements, extending both our releases. The same time I can feel myself contracting around him, I can still feel him pulsing inside me. It’s the most beautiful moment of my life. A tear falls from my eye, but at the same time, my body is smiling.

  “Are you okay?” Jeremy asks as he catches the tear with his thumb.

  “Never better.” I always knew that someday I’d find my match, but I never imagined it being this good. I know they didn’t intend it to be this way when they said it, but our friends were right. We fit. Jeremy was the missing piece I’ve been searching for my entire life.

  With our bodies spent, Jeremy falls next to me on his back. He turns me to face him, and pulling me against him, he takes my hand and places it on his chest. The rapid beat of his heart doesn’t seem to slow even when our breathing slows to normal. “It’s all yours.”

  “What is?”

  “All of it. Me. My body. My heart. You took it the first day we met up at the youth center when you were taking pictures of that damn rock, and I don’t want you to ever give it back. Why were you crying?”

  “It just feels right, and I was sad because I didn’t want the moment to end. I wanted to keep it alive and real or else the memory of this moment will fade. You know?”

  “I won’t let you forget. I’ll remind you every day,” he says as he places my hand over his tattoo and the words that mean so much more than anything I’ve read before.

  “I’ll hold you to that.”

  “We could always video it,” he jokes as he grabs my phone from the nightstand.

  “I don’t think so. That picture was enough fun for me.”

  “Yeah, it’s my screensaver on my phone.”

  “It’d better not be.”

  “It’s not, but this one will be. Now smile for the camera,” he says as he starts snapping pictures, trying to get the angle just right that nothing is showing. And I know before I see it that it’ll be my favorite of all my pictures ever.

  While we lie in bed, recuperating from everything that’s happened over the past twenty-four hours, I’m replaying everything in my mind when I remember something Jeremy said.

  “What did you mean when you said it’s mine?”

  “When?” he asks as he lazily draws circles on my back with his fingers.

  “When I said you can’t walk in my house, and you said technically, it’s mine.”

  “I said that?”

  “Yes.”

  “I kind of bought the house from Bentley.”

  I sit straight up. “How do you kind of buy a house?”

  “It’s not a big deal. I planned on telling everyone, but then our friends had bigger announcements than my purchase.”

  “It is a big deal. Congratulations. What does this mean for me? Are you kicking me out?”

  He pulls me back to him. “Do you really think I would do that?”

  “Well, no, but what are you going to do with two houses?”

  “I’ll sell the other when the time is right?”

  “How long will that be?”

  “It all depends on when you are ready.”

  “What?”

  “Let’s not get into this right now,” he says as he moves above me.

  “You can’t say that and then not explain.”

  “I bet I can find a way to distract you.”

  Which he does, effectively. Any time I bring it up, he takes me again until I’m too tired to ask.

  “EXCUSE ME?” I ask because she must be wrong. Jeremy and I have been back together for two weeks. It’s not possible.

  “We need to run a quick blood test, but it seems that your pregnancy test came back positive, and we won't be able to give you your next shot until we have the results,” the nurse repeats, referring to my birth control shot. The same birth control shot that is supposed to be ninety-nine percent effective. The funny thing is I wonder how many times a day she says this to people. Am I a statistic at this moment? Do the nurses have a weekly pool to see how many women come in for their shot and can't get it because they find out that oops, it didn't work? This must be a joke.

  “I'm s
orry. I think you have me confused. I didn't come here to find out if I was pregnant; I came here to make sure I stay un-pregnant.” I pull out my phone to show her my calendar. “See, it's clearly marked. And I'm not late. I'm a very thought-out person, organized, and this says I am due next week. So I think there's been a mix-up.”

  The nurse looks back at her tablet and then at me. Clearly, she can see she's made a mistake. “No mistake, Ms. Foxton. But that's why we want to do a rapid blood test to make sure the urine test was accurate.”

  “But I didn't take a pregnancy test.” I know they make you pee in a cup every time you come to the gynecologist’s office, but I thought they were checking for other things. Which makes me wonder what and why I've never asked what they are checking?

  “When you are on this particular birth control, it's procedure to also add in a pregnancy test along with the standard urine testing.”

  I still don't know what they are testing, but then again, the nurse is still talking, and I think I'm going to pass out, so I might have missed it through the haze of my eyes feeling like they are shrinking before me. I close them, do a few yoga breaths, and look up at her again. “But my boyfriend and I have only just started dating.”

  “Were you with someone else? I'm sorry. That's not my business.”

  I was quick to answer. “No. He's been the only one for a while now, but we weren't dating while we were, you know. So how am I going to tell him? Surprise, we are one of the lucky one percent that beat the birth control odds, and we get a baby.” But when I say the word baby, it hits me. If the test is right, that means I am going to be a mom. Me ... a mom. Something I've wanted but didn't think would happen for a very long time, and now a combination of happiness, nerves, and scared to death have caused tears in my eyes.

  “Do you want me to call someone? A friend who can wait with you?”

  “Jeremy. No, wait. That's okay. I'm fine. Let's just do the test and make sure before I call him.” I don't want him to have to come here for no reason. He's busy planning for his new construction job with Hunter, and if I call him to meet me here, that may freak him out. Heck, I'm freaking out.

  “Follow me.”

  Then the next thing I know, I'm sitting at home staring at my phone because I just got the confirmation call. “Congratulations. You're expecting. Let's set up an appointment for you to come back in two weeks, and we can do a transvaginal ultrasound to check everything. With you being on the injection, unfortunately, we have no way of determining how far along you are until we do an ultrasound.”

  I sat on my bed for an hour. I cried for another half hour and came to the decision that I need to go see Jeremy. As I drive to his house, I try to think of how to tell him. Should I just blurt it out? Maybe I should stop at the store, take a test for myself, and hand it to him? But I don't think he'd appreciate me handing him a stick that I peed on in the pharmacy bathroom. I could go to one of the thousands of gift shops and get a coffee mug since he likes coffee that says world's best dad, but I don't know if he wants to be a dad right now.

  So I go with plan B, sit in his driveway and text him that I'm here. He walks out with Hunter close behind him, but then I think I don't want to tell him when someone else is here. What if he gets mad at me for being so careless? Thankfully, Hunter gets on his motorcycle. As he rides by, he waves at me, and I give him a little wave back through the window.

  “Are you getting out?” Jeremy asks through the window.

  As I reach for my purse, I take a deep breath. It's now or never, Jade. Whatever happens, you'll handle it. When I click the unlock button, Jeremy opens the door for me and instantly has me in his arms with his lips against mine in a kiss that is far too short for my liking. I just want to hold him for a while longer before I tell him, so I wrap my arms around his back, rest my head in the crook of his neck, and breathe.

  He moves his hand to the nape of my neck after I stayed there for what felt like an hour. “Jade, what's wrong?”

  “Can we go inside and talk?”

  He looks into my eyes, searching for answers. Answers I'm afraid to give. “We can, but you're scaring the fuck out of me. I'd rather you just tell me.”

  “Not out here.”

  He nods his head once. After taking my hand in his, he walks me through the garage, and I pause by the chest he's been working on since that first meeting with his crew. I run my hand over it and think how it would look in a playroom, filled with toys. I look up into his eyes. “This is beautiful, Jeremy. You truly are talented.”

  “You want it? It's yours. But not until you come inside and tell me what's got you so petrified.”

  He pulls me through the door and heads straight for the living room. When he goes to bring me to his lap, I choose to sit next to him instead. “I don't know how to say this.”

  “Just say it. Because it can't be worse than what I'm thinking, Jade.” He already looks like he's closing off, and I'm scared this will really do the trick. I'm not strong enough to do this on my own.

  “It could be.”

  “Jade, if you're planning on leaving me, just do it.” He stands and starts pacing the living room.

  My eyes snap up. “Why would you think that?”

  He shrugs, crouches in front of me, and the first tear falls from my eye. With his thumb, he wipes it away. More fall and I feel like a fool for crying. “Baby, tell me what's going on? You're killing me.”

  Blurting it out is going to be the only way for me to come clean. “I went to the doctor this morning, and they said I'm pregnant.”

  His eyes do that dancing back and forth thing again, but he's not giving me anything. So I hold my breath and wait. It takes until I count to ten before his hands grip my hair and his mouth is on mine. He sends warm chills down my spine when his tongue touches mines, but when he does that thing where it wraps around mine, I'm gone, completely consumed by him. Like always.

  He lifts me as he stands, carrying me down the hallway. In less than a minute, I'm on the bed with Jeremy above me. His body isn't against mine as he looks down at me. “Jeremy, you heard me, right?”

  He nods his head once.

  “Are you going to say anything? By the way you kissed me, I'm guessing you're not angry, but I could be wrong. I know it's soon, but we can figure it out. By we, I mean if you want us to be a we. I understand if you don't—”

  He silences me with another mind-blowing kiss. When he stops, he whispers against my lips, “Thank you.”

  “You're welcome. For what?”

  “For making my shitty day the fourth best damn day of my life.” He rolls over and pulls me so I'm on top of him this time.

  “What are the other three? Best days, I mean?”

  He smiles, reaches into his nightstand, and pulls out a box. When I try to climb off him, he holds my hips still.

  “I wanted to make this epic proposal, but seeing as you stole my thunder, it may not quite be the best. But here it goes.” He makes a big deal of clearing his throat. Then he takes my left hand in his and plays with my ring finger for a moment.

  “This whole crazy thing started with a proposal, but if I'm honest, after that first night with you, I was already a goner and would have said yes to whatever so I could have you in my arms.”

  “The hotel.” I smile at the memory.

  “No, baby, not the hotel. The rules dinner. Now, shhh for a minute.”

  I pretend like I'm locking my lips.

  “It was never just sex for me. Off the charts sex. But there was more.” He places my right hand on his heart. “Every time we were together or weren't together, I felt you here. You worked your way into my heart without even trying. Every time you smiled, laughed, danced, or wrapped your body around mine, you took a little more of me until you had it all. And you do, Jade. You have all of me, and now I want all of you.”

  He releases my hand to open the box next to him. I gasp when I see the ring he's holding, which is a beautiful huge diamond surrounded by diamonds upon diamonds. It
's sparkling even in the darkening room. “If you want something else, we can get it?”

  I shake my head.

  “So you'll wear it?”

  I nod emphatically.

  “You'll marry me and make me the happiest man alive?”

  I can't seem to get the words out; tears, on the other hand, come freely.

  Jeremy slides the ring on my finger but stops halfway. “I need the words, Jade. Tell me you love me as much as I love you. That you want to spend the rest of our life together. And that it will be sooner rather than later. Because I want to marry you right now.”

  And of course, the first words that come out of my mouth are not yes. “It looks like Operation: Screw Drive Her just got an upgrade.”

  “Is that so?” he asks.

  “Big time.”

  “And what would the new name be upgraded to?”

  “Operation: Nailed It.”

  “Is that your way of saying yes?” he questions with a smile.

  “Yes.”

  Finally, he puts the ring all the way on my finger. I'm too busy staring at it that when he flips me again, he takes me off guard. Within seconds, he's pulling my dress over my head. His shirt comes off, and the rest of our clothes are on the floor.

  “First best day,” he says.

  “What?”

  “You asked me what the other three best days were. They just aren't exactly in the order I pictured, but that seems to be our thing.” Jeremy says as he kisses my heel then starts making his way up my leg.

  “Oh, yeah? What are the others?”

  He kisses the inside of my thigh. “The day you officially became mine. The day we say I do.”

  “And the last.”

  He kisses my stomach. “The day this one is born. Thank you, Jade.”

  “For my birth control failing?” I joke.

  He laughs as he wraps my legs around his, then teasingly rubs his length against my wetness. Oh God, that feels good.

  “For bringing me back to life.” He trusts me, and with that little statement, all my worries vanish. It's just me and Jeremy. Him loving me, me loving him, then him loving me twice more until our bodies can’t do anything else but give out.