She lifted the baby carrier in one hand, then reached for the suitcase with the other.
With his chest squeezing so tightly he couldn’t take a deep breath, he stepped in, lifted the bag and followed her out into the dewy, dark morning to her beat-up sedan. “I need to get you the car seat base.”
Once he installed it in the center of the backseat, Remy clicked the carrier into place. “You want to tell her bye?”
“You need to keep her on that new lactose-free formula, otherwise her stomach hurts.”
“I will.”
“And the yellow pacifier is her favorite.”
With a pained expression, Remy nodded. “Anything else I should know?”
“If she cries at night, try swaddling her. If she cries while you’re holding her, then she does better if you hold her so she can see your face.”
Tears pooled in her eyes. “I’ll remember all that. Thank you. I’ll take good care of her.”
“Promise me that if you decide you can’t handle it, you’ll come to me. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“Promise me.”
“I promise.”
He squeezed in the backseat beside Abby, who was lit only by the moon and the dim car light. He rubbed his thumb over her soft cheek. “I’ll see you later, sweet girl.”
Abby stared at him, bright-eyed and happy.
He kissed her forehead, taking time to breathe in her powdery fragrance. “I love you.” His throat convulsed, so he yanked himself out of the car and stormed inside before he made a fool of himself.
Other than his parents, Jake had never told another living soul he loved them. Now he loved Abby, and she’d been torn away from him.
He needed Violet, the other person he’d loved, the only one who had the power to comfort him now. But after the way she’d turned on him, he’d never be able to trust her again.
* * *
Two days. Two long, miserable days. Two days without seeing or hearing from Jake.
Violet had thought he would cool down and call by now. But he’d been silent...and absent.
Remy’s car had left sometime Tuesday between 1:00 a.m. when Violet returned from her parents’ house and 6:00 a.m. when she went out for her run. So Violet had to assume she’d left with the baby.
Her heart contracted, a pain so intense she clutched her arms in front of her and laid her head on her desk.
Poor Jake. He must be devastated.
He apparently hadn’t come around to believing Remy needed a chance to raise Abby, so he most likely wasn’t going to forgive Violet. He must feel she betrayed him.
She missed him. Missed his smile, his laugh, his loyalty.
But he’d told her to butt out of family matters. She needed to remember that part, as well. Needed to forget and move on.
Somehow.
Work. Burying herself in work. And in prayer. It was the only way she’d been able to get by for the past two days.
“Hey.”
Violet jerked upward, her face burning at being caught with tears on her cheeks. Chloe stood at the office door.
“I’m sorry to interrupt. Your receptionist let me come on back.”
Violet motioned her inside. “You caught me...resting.”
Sitting in the chair facing the desk, Chloe leaned across, placing a hand on Violet’s arm. “I heard Remy came for Abby.”
“How’d you hear?”
“I ran into Jake. He’s pretty torn up.”
Violet drew in a shuddering breath, blinking away a fresh wave of tears. Abby was definitely gone. Would Violet see her again? “I don’t know how he’s going to recover from this.”
Chloe winced. “You really think Remy’s turned her life around?”
“I do. She brought evidence that she has.”
Chloe reached for Violet’s hand and squeezed. “I know you’re hurting about Abby. But why are you avoiding Jake?”
“What did he tell you?”
“Just that the two of you had a difference of opinion, and he hadn’t seen you in a couple of days.”
With a sigh, Violet leaned back in her chair. “Yeah, a difference of opinion, all right.”
“Over...?”
“Besides the fact we don’t agree on Remy’s right to raise her child? Well, for starters, he told me to butt out of a family matter.”
Chloe frowned. “Well, I’m sure he was upset, acting out of fear of losing Abby.”
Violet’s stomach fluttered. That’s what she had told herself a dozen times. “Maybe. But I’d let down my guard for the first time in my adult life. I thought we had feelings for each other. Then as soon as things got tough, he pushed me away, shut me out.”
“Because you thought Remy should raise her daughter?”
“Yeah. When Jake refused to give Abby to Remy and mentioned adopting her, I stood up for Remy.”
Chloe’s nose scrunched. “Ouch. The man probably felt you’d stabbed him in the back. Was probably acting in self-defense.”
Violet pressed her hands to her hot cheeks. “Even though it’s not what I want, it’s what I thought was right.”
“Right for who?”
Violet’s shoulders dropped. “For Remy. And given the fact she wants her daughter and is in a good place now, then for Abby, as well.”
Eyes wide with surprise, Chloe shook her head. “Well, I think you need to talk to him. Explain your feelings—which, frankly, puzzle me. After working with Jake so closely, and knowing Remy’s history, how could you have sided with Remy? Jake was the good guy here.”
“It’s complicated and...private.”
When Violet didn’t offer more, Chloe stood, her blue eyes stricken. “Oh, okay. Well, maybe you’ll feel comfortable talking about it someday.”
“Thanks for understanding. And for coming to check on me.” The hurt on Chloe’s face made Violet’s throat ache. But she felt she couldn’t tell anyone else about her past if she hadn’t first told Jake. “I’m sorry I can’t tell you more right now.”
Chloe came around the desk and hugged Violet. “I want you to go ahead and use the lake house this weekend. Get away for a while to heal. Then later this summer, you can use it again when you’re feeling more like having fun.”
“Thanks, Chloe. You’re a good friend.”
Yes, getting away would be good. She’d have her calls forwarded. Would go to the lake house on Friday evening and spend two glorious days on the water, deciding what to do about Jake. And whether to tell him about her son.
If she told him, would he then understand why she took Remy’s side?
* * *
Jake wiped sweat off his brow with his sleeve. With the Emerson house having fixtures installed, he’d poured himself into the Bonner project all week. They’d just finished the rough framing, and he’d enjoyed pounding some nails, straining his muscles, trying to hold at bay the ache and sadness.
With a sigh, he loaded the last of the tools in the back of his truck. The framers had left the work site, and it was nearly dark. Time to quit delaying and head home.
Home to quiet. A quiet that held no peace anymore. Without Abby and Violet, the house just seemed empty and lonely.
He’d called Remy every day to check on Abby. She said they were doing fine. But he had no idea how Violet was doing.
He and Violet were supposed to be out on their first date right now to celebrate his moving to adopt Abby. Shutting his eyes, he battled the pain that had been lashing at him since Monday night.
A red truck pulled up behind Jake’s, and Zeb climbed out.
Oh, man. Anytime anyone acted sympathetic, he could hardly hold it together.
Jake held out his hand to shake. “Hey. What are you doing here?”
“Stopped by to check on yo
u.”
“Check on me?” Clenching his teeth together, he prepared.
Zeb squinted his eyes, giving Jake a look of pity. “Heard about Remy taking the baby. I’m sorry, man.”
Jake couldn’t look at his friend. He stared at gravel they’d put down in the driveway area, scraping at it with the toe of his boot. “Yeah, well...thanks.”
Zeb rested an arm along the edge of the truck bed. “So whadya doing to help your doctor girlfriend through this?”
Jake’s gaze flew to Zeb’s. “We’re not together.”
“The doc seemed attached to the little gal. Figured she must be hurtin’ as bad as you.”
Jake steeled himself against the pain he’d tried to push away all week. “Violet sided with Remy over raising Abby.”
“Well, a woman is entitled to her opinion. Could be you’re being hardheaded, you know.”
For the first time in days, one corner of Jake’s mouth tilted up in a partial smile. He lifted a brow. “Me? Hardheaded?”
“What makes a man a good contractor can get him in trouble with the ladies.”
“Speaking from experience?”
“Could be.” Zeb squinted up at the full moon, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips. “Sure would be a shame to mess up with the doc over something that’s hurt both of you.”
The man made a good point. “What makes you such an expert?”
“Forty years of marriage and several nights in the doghouse.” With a wave, Zeb climbed in his truck, shut the door and stuck his head out the open window. “See you back here when you’re ready for my crew.”
Jake shook his hand. “Thanks for stopping by.”
“Don’t make it a wasted trip.”
With a shake of his head and a smile, Jake strode to his truck and climbed in. Time was 9:00 p.m. He and Violet would have been out celebrating right now. And tomorrow, heading to the lake for his birthday.
Would she still go?
Lord, I need Your help here. Please ease the hurt and help me do what’s right.
Please watch over Abby.
And over Violet. I haven’t prayed for her through all this, and Zeb’s right. She must be hurting, too.
The phone vibrated in his hand. It showed Remy’s name on the screen. His heart raced as he quickly swiped his finger to answer.
“Hey. Is Abby okay?”
The baby cried in the background. “Yeah. She’s fine. No fever or anything. She’s just fussy.”
Hearing her cries sucked the oxygen out of him. “Do you need me to come?”
“No. I just can’t remember what you told me she likes when she’s fussy. I tried putting her in the baby carrier against my chest to snuggle her. Then tried holding her so she could see my face.”
“She likes to be swaddled in the striped hospital blanket. It’s the only one that seems to hold her tight enough. Did you take it with you?”
“Hang on, let me check.”
Jake waited what seemed like an eternity with Abby’s cries moving away from the phone, then coming back in close range. It was all he could do not to head the truck toward Atlanta to Remy’s apartment.
“It’s here,” she said. “Thanks, I’ll give that a try.”
“Call me back if she won’t calm down. She may be sick.”
“Okay.”
“I’m serious. I can drive down there in a flash.”
Remy sighed, Abby’s colicky crying nearly drowning it out. “I promise you I want a happy, healthy baby, Jake. So please don’t worry.”
They said their goodbyes and hung up. But he couldn’t get Abby’s cries out of his head.
Should he file to try to take custody? Would he have any grounds to stand on? Maybe he should call an attorney in the morning.
By the time he’d arrived at his house, he’d decided to make that call. He walked inside and turned on the family room light.
His cell phone buzzed. Remy again. “Everything okay?”
“Listen,” Remy said. “Blessed quiet.”
She was right. The only thing he could hear was the sound of the blood whooshing in his ears from the fright of seeing her name on his screen again. As his heart rate returned to normal, he let out a long, silent breath. “I’m glad the blanket worked,” he said.
“Thanks for suggesting it. I knew you’d worry if I didn’t call back.”
“I appreciate that. It’s tough not being in control.”
“Believe me, I know. And I’ll try to make the transition as easy on you as possible.”
Standing just outside the dark kitchen, he rested his head against the cool wood of the built-in cabinet. “Thanks.”
“I’m going to do this, you know. I’m going to make you believe in me.”
Tears stung his eyes. “I believed in you all along, Rem. As long as you were clean, I knew you’d come back. I just lost track of that when I fell in love with Abby, with this idea of the perfect family.”
“You wanted that ideal family we never had because I messed it up.”
Sure, he’d blamed her when he was a teen. But she hadn’t had an easy road. “I guess we all got dealt some blows and did the best we could.”
“I love you, Jakey. Thanks for always looking out for me.”
His throat clenched tight and wouldn’t let go. He swallowed. “I love you, too. Kiss Abby for me.”
“I will. ’Night.”
Jake slipped outside and went to sit on the old swing, where he’d spent time with Abby, trying to soothe her. Looking over at Violet’s dark house, he wondered why she had jeopardized their relationship by pulling away from him and supporting Remy.
Because honestly, now that he thought back to that evening, if Violet had said nothing, the outcome would have been the same.
Why had she risked their love like that, knowing how much her betrayal would hurt him?
He should ask her. Because he needed to know, if nothing else, to have closure.
Taking a deep breath, he pushed up out of the swing and went back inside.
He wouldn’t contact her yet. He’d pray about it tonight and make a decision in the morning.
Chapter Twelve
Violet’s hand hovered over her cell phone, her fingers trembling with indecision.
She sat on the big front porch at the O’Malleys’ lake house, surrounded by woods and glistening lake water, with her phone resting on the wide wooden arm of a rocking chair. She’d been rocking and thinking since she’d finished her morning coffee. For the past hour, as the sun had risen over the lake, she’d gone back and forth on whether to call Jake.
Yes, I’ll do it. For about the fourteenth time, she started to hit the call button. Yet something made her hesitate. Again.
Anger and hurt and longing all jumbled into a mess inside her, making her feel more alone than ever.
She had no one. No one who knew her inside and out.
Actually...she did.
God, it’s me again. I don’t know what to do.
A tired sigh slipped out. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t do this all by myself. I’ve made a mess of every relationship in my life. I need You to take over.
She leaned her head against the chair cushion, closed her eyes and rocked, back and forth, back and forth. As the chair runners made a steady creaking sound on the wooden porch, a sense of peace washed over her. No more pretense of being in control. No trying to bend her life to fit her own will.
She needed to trust God to lead her.
The sound of tires on gravel jerked her eyes open. Who was coming down the private dirt road at this hour?
The sight of Jake’s truck sent her heart into a gallop as she hopped up from the chair. She sucked in a breath and held it as he parked and got out.
&nbs
p; He looked haggard, as if he hadn’t slept since she’d last seen him. But his broad shoulders, rugged beard and piercing blue eyes still made her knees weak.
When he reached the bottom of the steps, he stopped and looked up to the porch. “Violet.”
She couldn’t read anything from his guarded expression.
“Hi, Jake.”
“Can I join you?”
His soft request, the hesitancy of his words, closed her throat. She gestured to the chair beside her.
He climbed the steps and moved past her, filling the space around her with his wide shoulders and his clean, woodsy scent. Simply having him there made her feel...right, less alone.
She could barely look at him for fear she’d burst into tears. Was this an answer to her prayer? Was there still a chance for them?
He turned the other rocking chair so it faced hers. He sat and leaned his elbows on his knees, hands clasped. “I figured we should talk about what happened.”
“Okay.”
“I have questions. I need to figure out where you were coming from.”
That sounded encouraging, as if maybe he was willing to listen and consider her side.
But could she trust him with all of her past? “You told me to stay out of your family business. Have you changed your mind?”
His deep blue eyes softened with regret. “I’m sorry. I was distraught over having Abby taken from me. And when you didn’t jump in to back me up...well, I lashed out.”
“I understood that, but it still hurt. More than anything, I—” Tears threatened, and she blinked them away. “I wanted to feel like part of a close family. You and Abby gave me that.”
Reaching out, he brushed his work-roughened hand over hers, soothing her.
Her heart twisted. No matter what she told herself, no amount of work could make her forget Jake. Nothing could.
“I felt the same thing,” he said. “Then Remy showed up and blew our bubble of happiness to smithereens.”
“Jake—”
“No, let me finish. I don’t want to cut you out of my life. But I need to know why you sided with Remy. Because if you cared for me like I thought you did, you wouldn’t have hurt me that way.”
“Jake...”
Love Inspired May 2015 #2 Page 17