No, I loved it.
I wasn’t ready for the aftermath of feelings that wanted to come crashing down because I enjoyed last night a little too much, and there had never been a promise of tomorrow. I honestly didn’t know how I was going to get him out of my system, but I’d better figure it out since I had to be to work in two hours.
I let out a wistful sigh and walked up the steps of my brownstone to quickly shower, change, and get some coffee to begin my workday. Neither of us got much sleep last night, and I’d imagine he’d need a lot of caffeine too. He wanted to drive me back to my place, but I didn’t want him to think I needed to be taken care of. I could grab a cab just fine, which was what I did. Besides, I wasn’t sure if he drove me to my place, I’d let him leave.
I made my way to the top of the stairs, and every ounce of happiness exploded into an unsteady terror as I stared down at a blank envelope tilted against my front door. The paralyzing terror that I’d waited minutes, hours, and days for finally slammed into me. Alfred had found where I lived. His mailings had only come to my places of work.
Never my home.
Fear slithered across my skin as I glanced over my shoulder, scanning the sidewalk and empty street, seeing no one. I bent down and picked up the envelope, my fingers trembling as I steadied my breath and slid the key into the lock. If he was watching me from somewhere, I didn’t want him to know he got to me.
By the time I stepped inside, my heart was racing even though I heard the click of the lock behind me. I set the envelope on a table and flipped on the foyer and dining room lights, searching every nook and bulky piece of furniture for a sign of any disturbance or unwanted shadows, and clutched my phone to the point of aching fingers.
The further I went into my home, the more the paranoia crept into each step forward even though I knew he hadn’t gotten inside.
He couldn’t have made it inside.
I flung open the closet and saw nothing but my winter coats, and I finally took in a deep breath.
I ran up the stairs, checking the guest room and the master bedroom before going back downstairs.
I only had the kitchen and family room left before I could breathe easy.
With an unsteady pulse, I walked into my kitchen. I scanned the windows and back door. All was as I’d left it yesterday morning.
I filled up the coffee pot with water while mindlessly peering out my window. How did he find me? I’d put this home in a trust. I was careful to use my post office box for all mail.
It didn’t make sense.
I turned on the coffeemaker and spun around, still clutching my phone. My home had always been my safe space, the one place I could relax and escape the daily complexities my profession delivered. The moment I purchased my home, I wanted to make it my own and I did.
I’d remodeled my kitchen, tearing out the old worn cabinets and replacing them with two-tone white and grey cabinets and speckled Cosmo blue granite. White-washed wood floors covered the entire first floor, bringing a light and bright feeling throughout my entire home. Voile curtains hung in the dining room and family room, and pine furniture anchored each of the spaces. It was my sanctuary, and he’d found it, but I wouldn’t let him ruin it.
I let out a sigh and walked through the hallway, stopping to look at my mom’s high school portrait. She was such a pretty woman. Most days, having these reminders of my family brought peace, but right now, it made me doubt my search for answers, my chosen career.
I closed my eyes and drew a deep breath as I wrangled the courage to go upstairs and get ready for my day. I refused to call the police while I was home. If Alfred was watching, he would get satisfaction from causing the commotion, and I refused to gift him that.
I refused to give him that power.
Besides, I had a patient who needed me, and by the time the police came, I wouldn’t be able to get to the office.
I walked to the stairs, and my gaze landed on the envelope.
I wasn’t going to open it, not until the end of my day. I might even wait until I got to my father’s.
I trudged up the stairs and got my clothes for the day, turned on the shower, and hopped under the nearly scalding water, but I needed the pelting heat to remind myself that I was okay. When Alfred first start contacting me, I’d gone numb. It took a lot of work not to shut off the feelings, and these emotions would help keep me safe.
As I rinsed out the conditioner, I thought about last night. Blake was so tender and giving. Everything about last night was a fantasy, but my own world brought me right back to the nightmare I’d been living with since my mom’s murder.
Before she died, I’d never thought about going into the medical field. Now my life was consumed with finding answers. When I worked in the forensic unit at the prison, I dealt with a lot of psychopaths, and I never used that term lightly. They were a different breed. The man who murdered my mother was diagnosed as one.
Alfred was not.
I wasn’t sure I believed his results any longer. He didn’t score very high at all on the Hare Checklist, and I wasn’t sure he hadn’t figured out a way to game the system.
I let out a groan of frustration as I stepped out of the shower and got ready for my day.
I should be basking in the emotions of last night, remembering only Blake, but that dream was ripped from me the moment I came home and found the envelope. I didn’t even want to look inside.
It was interesting.
Blake thought he was the one who’d bring danger to my world, but I was afraid it was the other way around.
Life was never easy. Complications always managed to work their way in when I least expected. I’d let my guard down for not even a day, and I already had danger knocking on my door.
Since I wanted to go to my dad’s after work, I decided to drive rather than take transit. I didn’t want to be dependent on a system that might break down on me or put me directly in Alfred’s sights.
I placed the envelope in a plastic baggie before grabbing my keys and purse and headed out the door. I looked up and down the sidewalk, which had gotten only slightly busier with the morning commute as people began to emerge from their homes. My car was parked at a garage only two blocks down.
By the time I got into my car and on the road, my nerves were shot and I had the music blaring, daring myself to think back to last night. I needed that distraction.
With fifteen minutes to spare until eight, I pulled into the parking lot and found a place closer to the door than I’d usually choose. I grabbed my phone out of my purse and sent a quick text to my dad making sure he’d be home later tonight.
I climbed out of my car and took a deep breath, glancing around the parking lot, wondering if he’d been here.
Probably.
That was likely how he’d found where I lived.
He was watching me, following my every move, merging my world into his. That was what he’d done with all of his other victims. A shiver ran through me as I marched into the office. I bet no one would even notice if Alfred had been hanging around.
Alfred was nondescript, with dark eyes, dark hair, and a thin and wiry build, which was why Alfred blended into whatever community he immersed himself in. He was exactly the kind of guy a person would forget.
As cold as that sounded, it was the truth, and the world was a more dangerous place because of it. I walked into the lobby and greeted our receptionist. She smiled, still clutching her latte.
“Morning, Dr. Dalton.” She stood up and moved the sign-in sheet to where I could reach it.
“Your eight o’clock is already here. She’s in the restroom.”
“Thank you.”
I walked down the hall and dumped my items off in my office before going to fill up my water bottle. I was exhausted. It had been so long since I’d gotten a full night’s sleep. Even if I was bed for seven hours, I probably only managed to get three hours of sleep since I woke up so much. Every bump, shadow, and car headlight cast made me jump out of my skin
, but I’d learned to function with very little sleep. I learned how to deal in med school, never knowing how important that skill would become.
Now that I was here, it was time to push everything going on with me aside and focus on the day ahead. I was actually looking forward to my appointment with Nicole so we could work through some of her issues that had recently developed.
“You look a little pale,” Tara said, reaching in front of me to grab a tea bag. “You feel okay?”
“I’m feeling good so far. Hopefully, I didn’t catch what Tim had last week,” I said, pushing off her comments to whatever bug was flying around the office this week.
“No kidding.” She tossed the pouch in the trash. “I’ll bring your eight o’clock in.”
I nodded and made my way to the office. It wasn’t wonderful knowing that I looked like death warmed over, but it had little to do with not getting much sleep, and everything to do with the stress of knowing Alfred was back.
Or maybe he never left.
I sat in my chair and turned on my computer. I spun slowly and looked out the window to see the parking lot that was slowly filling up. What if he’d been watching me for longer than I realized? I stood up and reached for the blinds, adjusting them so not much more than slivers of light shone through.
Tara led Nicole into my office, and she took a seat as I plastered a smile on my face and began our session.
By the time I got to my dad’s house, the terror lingering all day had turned to a bubble of anxiety. My dad opened the door, checking the street behind me as I stepped inside. His expression was stern as he held out his hand for the envelope. I pulled the plastic baggie that contained the envelope out of my purse.
“I haven’t opened it yet,” I informed him.
My dad pressed his lips together and took in an exaggerated breath.
“Why not?”
I slowly shook my head. “I just didn’t want to hear that he is waiting for me or some other scare tactic.”
Sympathy slid into my dad’s expression, and rather than scold me like I was ten years old, which was his usual mode of operating, he held open his arms and I slid right in for a hug.
“I’m so sorry, hon.” He squeezed me hard. “You’ve still got a restraining order. The moment you see him, call 9-1-1.”
There wasn’t an if in my dad’s warning, only a when.
“We know how well those work.” I straightened up and my dad kissed my cheek.
“We’ve got to do things by the book, or when we’re ready to nab this jerk, something could fall through the cracks and he’d get out again.”
“He never got out, Dad. He escaped.” I followed my dad into the kitchen.
“I’m making your favorite, beef and barley soup,” he informed me and pointed at the small table already set for two. It warmed my heart.
I dropped my purse on the floor near the chair I’d be sitting in.
“Like I said, he never should have gotten out. If he’d been in a formal prison setting, you’d be safe,” he said.
That wasn’t entirely true, but I didn’t have the energy to argue. My dad didn’t know how many times I’d been attacked while treating patients. That would only make things worse.
“It’s not that easy,” I said, grabbing some paper napkins from the holder on the counter.
My father didn’t believe that we should treat the criminally insane any differently from the other criminals. There were brief moments when I understood where he was coming from, but I knew there was something that separated the criminally insane from the average criminal. I only hoped that I’d be able to study it once again, but right now, it wasn’t safe. Alfred had too many connections to the patients I’d worked with.
“So Edith isn’t coming over for dinner?”
“She’s visiting her daughter in Wisconsin,” my dad told me.
Edith was a recent addition to my dad’s life. He never really dated much after my mom’s death, but as he was getting closer to retirement, I noticed him dabbling a little more. Edith was a little more than a dabble, though. He’d been seeing her for over four months. A record, by our family’s current dating experience. We never seemed to be able to make it past the four-month hurdle.
“Edith is sweet.”
“She’s a good one. It’s a shame her daughter isn’t as great as she is.” My dad shook his head. “Her daughter’s thinking about moving out this way, but I sure hope not. She’s full of drama.”
I laughed. Even though my dad spent his days tracking down bad guys, he didn’t enjoy interference like that with his personal life.
“Well, the soup smells delicious,” I told my dad as he reached under the sink and pulled out some disposable latex gloves.
“I thought you could use some comfort food. Last time I saw you, it looked like you’d lost a little too much weight.”
I chuckled. “Dad, thanks, but I’ve actually gained weight since I started my new job, not lost.”
“Could’ve fooled me.” He smiled, sliding a knife along the envelope.
“Apparently, I did.” I laughed, unable to keep my gaze away from the envelope.
My dad slid out the paper, unfolded it, and sighed.
“What?” I asked.
My dad’s expression said it all. Alfred wouldn’t stop until he got what he wanted, which was me. He liked trophies.
“What does it say?” I repeated.
As if my dad couldn’t read the words aloud, he flipped the paper around and I read the handwritten note. The others had been typed. He no longer cared if he was connected directly to me. That wasn’t a good sign. My eyes skipped over his note, and my blood turned cold.
I’ve been planning our reunion ever since I left, but soon, it will happen. Things need to be just right, and when that moment occurs, I’ll be waiting for you when you least expect it. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t.
I closed my eyes and felt the sting of the tears. I hated that I let his words affect me, but they were terrifying because he acted on them. The problem was that Alfred had demonstrated his capacity for pure violence. Playing terror-inducing mind games with horrific outcomes for all of his victims was his signature.
What tripped up the system was that he expressed guilt and remorse time and again. Psychopaths were centered on themselves and were physically and mentally incapable of feeling or showing empathy. My hunch was that Alfred learned how to mimic those emotions, gaming the criminal justice system.
“You can stay here tonight,” my dad said, and I blinked my eyes open, realizing I’d zoned out. “Actually, you can stay here for as long as you’d like.”
I shook my head and reached for my dad’s arms. It was a kind gesture, but I wouldn’t let my entire world be ripped away from me because of this evil man.
“Know the offer always stands.” My dad patted my hand and motioned for me to sit at the table as he began ladling soup into our bowls.
My phone buzzed unexpectedly and I nearly jumped out of my skin. I ignored it since the tone wasn’t from the clinic, except it buzzed again, and my dad noticed.
“Aren’t you going to see who’s texting you?” He slid the bowl of soup in front of me.
I rolled my eyes and reached into my purse, not expecting to see the text.
Can I see you again?
I knew I never should have spent the night with him, but I couldn’t help myself. All the feelings that sprang to life when I was around Blake were irrational, and when I was away from him, I could see that. However, I wanted nothing more than to do it all again.
“Ava?” my dad asked. “You seem to be smiling pretty widely.”
“Oh, it’s nothing, Dad,” I said, tossing my phone back into my purse.
“Didn’t look like nothing to me.” My dad’s eyes twinkled. He’d always hated that I’d put so much time into work and so little into relationships, but it worked well for me.
I laughed and took a slurp of soup. “This is delicious.”
“Your mom’s
recipe.”
“I know, and it’s the best there is.”
My dad nodded and my phone buzzed again.
I can’t get you of my head.
“Are you seeing someone?” my dad asked.
I shook my head.
“It would be wonderful if you were,” he added.
“I just don’t have time for it, especially with . . .” my voice trailed off.
He shook his head and let out a sigh. “You never were very good at lying to me.” My dad sat back in his chair. “Does it have anything to do with all those questions you had about the Volkovs?”
“No,” I said a little too quickly.
“You were always a little rebellious.” My dad shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest.
“I’m not seeing anyone seriously.”
“I really thought you had more sense that,” my dad said, standing up and taking his full bowl of soup to the sink. “You’re smarter than that.”
“Dad, it’s not like that.”
“If a Volkov has my daughter’s number, it very much is like that.” My dad’s eyes flashed to mine before he walked out of the room, and I was left feeling utterly alone.
Chapter Nine
Blake
“So some rogue Sokolov decides to take revenge for Anton’s and Artur’s murders, and we suddenly can’t find him?” Drake shook his head in aggravation.
“A cousin of Anton and Artur,” Devin clarified.
My mother walked into the dining room and took a seat at the head of the table. She didn’t look pleased. Jaxson was at the opposite end, glaring at his water glass.
“We need to send a clear message or we’ll lose our place. It took generations of sacrifice to get where we are, and it will only take one misstep to take it all away.” Her expression was stern as she shook her head. “We run the streets. We make the rules. Not these others.” My mom slapped the dining room table and the silverware clanked.
Blake: A Romantic Suspense (V Mafia Series Book 1) Page 7