by Olivia Gates
He came up from their last and deepest merging panting, broke out of her feverish embrace.
He almost fell back into her trembling arms when her sob of “Roque, please…” speared through him.
He crushed down on the overriding temptation instead, lifted himself away on shaking arms. Her legs unlocked with his move, fell to his sides, rubbing, urging. He gritted his teeth.
“Sim, Jóia. I will please you—please you until you fall apart with pleasure, then I’ll please you again until you’re mad, until you’re finished…” He dimly wondered if his potency would survive the blow. Then he delivered it. “But not now.”
CHAPTER NINE
“TELL ME we’re really going to do it now!”
Jewel bit back a snappy answer, pointed at the boat that was moving away from the pier, what they now called “Roque’s Boat.” “Where our fearless leader goes, we follow, Maddy.”
To underline the accuracy of her words, their own riverboat gave a long bass honk and in minutes they were following the two smaller boats, finally starting the trek to one of the least explored tributaries of the Amazon River and one of the last wild places on earth.
They should have left three days ago. But Roque had decreed that they would wait that much longer to close Qircamo’s wounds. It had been five days since Roque had come back into her life.
And they’d been five days of the weirdest kind of hell.
Roque was driving her insane. He’d already driven her past inhibitions, confusion and suspicions. Not to mention bitterness, insecurities and long-held prejudices. And it had taken him a whopping twenty-four hours to do it. Then, just as he’d had her total surrender, he’d walked away.
The whisper that had gashed her when he’d extricated himself from her arms, ignoring her pleas for him to take her now, now, echoed in her mind again.
“Secure in your one-hundred-percent results again? Got me to admit how much I want you, so you’d be the one to walk away this time?” she’d demanded.
He’d walked back to her then, knelt on the deck beside her, his eyes predatory, sending the unabated hunger inside her howling. “That’s the biggest load of rubbish I’ve ever heard. I’m walking away from you probably at the cost of my potency.” He’d pressed her hand to his rock-hardness for proof. “But I’m done doing things backwards. Satisfaction before anticipation, intimacy before courtship.” Then he’d exploded out of the cabin.
And it made no sense! He should be seeking retribution. Her past insults, now it seemed they’d been undeserved, had been unforgivable. Men held undying grudges for far less.
Yet he behaved as if he wasn’t holding any. So what did it mean when a man held back from slaking his lust? When he talked of anticipation and courtship? Could that mean he wanted to make their stunted marriage into something more? Why? Did she?
No! She didn’t. She—she… It didn’t matter what she wanted!
But she wanted to be with him, for as long as his new desire lasted, and had told him that, in words and actions. And he wouldn’t let her!
Inside, she floundered. Outside, she took him on in duels of wit she’d come to crave. It was glorious talking to him, doing things with him—just being with him. They’d never talked or shared before. That had been her mistake. She’d been such a mess back then.
But she was healed now. In body and mind and mood. And Roque made her head spin and heart soar with what he was. Effortless leader, gifted doctor, loyalty-inspiring friend, gallant gentleman, thrilling companion. And to make it worse, he kept switching from blasé seducer to single-minded devourer.
Just thinking of him made her heart storm and her body burn. She fidgeted as Tabatinga receded and nature took over. The boats sailed nearer one bank, offering them heart-soaring views of incredible forests, wading birds and fresh-water pink dolphins. The for-once-struck-silent Madeline was snapping away with her digital camera.
At last Madeline’s enthusiasm bubbled over. “Yippee! My first Amazonian experience! At last! Man, I can’t wait to go on those aluminum boat side-stream trips. Monkeys, parrots, butterflies, orchids… ah! And the night trips Roque promised! Owls, caimans, and those weird birds—those potoos he mentioned…”
“Don’t forget the jaguars, alligators, boa constrictors and anacondas!” Jewel added in mock malice, Madeline’s oblivious cheerfulness grating a bit in her raw condition.
Momentary alarm flitted in Madeline’s eyes before she wrinkled her nose. “Oh, hush. I’m in raptures of expectation now—of the hikes to see the giant forests and the riverside communities, of bartering for some honest-to-goodness indigenous handcrafts and getting a bona fide Amazonian tribal tattoo!”
Jewel cast a wide glance out into the seemingly bankless river as their riverboat followed the smaller boats’ lead midstream and sighed. “Glad you’re so happy, Maddy.”
“Who wouldn’t be? I’m on the Amazon River. Tell me all you know about it, Joo. I bet you know everything!”
Jewel sighed again. “No one knows everything about anything, Maddy, least of all Amazonia. The forest keeps most of its secrets. It isn’t hard as it covers half of Brazil and extends into six other countries. But, yes, your beloved Amazon River is longer than the Nile.”
Madeline gaped. “How did you know I was going to ask that?”
Jewel crooked her a complacent smile. “So-called modern people are pathetically predictable.”
She submitted to Madeline’s equally predictable shove as she tried to keep her eyes off Roque’s boat now that he’d come on the observation deck.
He stood there like a conqueror of old, power and distinction stamped in his every line. And control. Talk about control. Then he waved.
Madeline waved back enthusiastically. It figured. Jewel bet females of all species in a hundred miles’ radius were waving right back at him. She wouldn’t be one of them, just this once.
At her ignoring him, he cocked his head, tension gathering in his stance. Then he pressed his fingers to his lips for a drawn-out moment. Her heart pounded at the pantomime. She knew his fingers were a substitute for her lips, for every other part of her he’d told her he was dying to taste, to pleasure. Her nerves fired when he released the kiss, let it blow her way. She almost growled at her pathetic reaction.
Next second he swung around and rushed out of sight, seemingly in answer to some summons.
“Sos” Madeline resumed with ultra-brightness. “The brochure said among the estimated 15,000 species here, thousands aren’t classified. How did they count them if they’re not classified?”
Jewel sighed. “Counted is one thing, classified is another. If you must know the difference I’ll hand you over to our naturalist. He’s dying for an excuse to drown in your sapphire eyes.”
“What?” Madeline yelped in elated surprise. “Marcos? That dimpled hunk dripping in Indiana Jones appeal? No way!”
“Yes way. That’s what you miss when you focus all your attention in the wrong direction, Maddy.”
“Meaning in yours and Roque’s? Can you blame me? I’m still stunned you’re married, and to a world-leading genius who’s a world-class hunk. Your family sure never went public with that piece of explosive news.”
“They didn’t because at the time Roque was a doctor who survived on grants and had a one-room condo in Rio and no car. It was the far lesser evil to advertise that I’d gone mad and went to live in the jungle than make my marriage to him public.”
“I bet your folks would love to call him son-in-law now.”
Jewel sighed in bitterness. “Yeah, I bet.”
“But cut your folks some slack, who wouldn’t? That man of yours is something else.”
Jewel almost stamped her foot. He wasn’t her man. She had no idea what he was, or what he wanted to be.
Madeline went on, “But you guys seem to have such a complicated history, I doubt either of you understands it.”
Jewel exhaled another dejected sigh. “It was too naïve to think you’d resist the urge to
gossip, wasn’t it, Maddy?”
“It’s not gossip as it’s staying between us!” Madeline scrunched up her eyes against the sun, indignant. “You’re my friend and I’m concerned. And I’m confused. But I bet not half as much as both of you are.”
“I don’t know why you include Roque in your summation. He certainly isn’t confused about anything.”
“You’re just spinning so hard you can’t see him spinning. Seriously, Joo, yours is a match made in a higher echelon of heaven. Two magnificent creatures who burn the air in a mile radius around them and who also share the same vocation.”
“I didn’t share Roque’s vocation when he married me. The truth is, I have no clue why he did marry me.”
“Because he loved—loves—you, why else?”
Jewel chewed her lip, feeling her confusion only mounting. This couldn’t have been why he’d married her. But she no longer had theories why he had.
Madeline went on, “And he’s here seeking you again, and you’ve both changed, for the best, so what’s stopping you from coming back together?”
Jewel sighed. “Would you believe—him?”
Madeline’s mouth clunked open. “Huh?”
“Threw a sabot in the cogs of your logic machine, huh?”
“Hey, give me a break. I thought you were the one resisting the reunion, but if he’s the one who’s—aargh! I give up!”
Jewel’s gaze swept the endless expanse of glasslike waters, let its serenity permeate her, let Madeline’s last three words seep their resignation through her.
Then she finally said, “Yeah. Me, too.”
“Are you coming, too, or shall I go alone?”
Roque watched Jewel’s flushed lips caressing the words, heard her rich tones undulating to their rhythm. But he couldn’t understand a thing.
“Earth to Roque! You can come down from orbit now.”
Her smile was a shard of light and delight piercing his heart. He rose under her influence, his hand sweeping a hungry path from a strong calf, exposed by knee-long shorts, up to her waist. “Can’t I remain lost in orbit, mapping your topography?”
Half a giggling pirouette took her out of reach. “You don’t seem so lost now. And now you’ve landed safely, are you coming? I can go alone if you’d rather stay here.”
“You’ve such a short memory. I said you go nowhere without me.”
She wrinkled her nose at him. “You said that ages ago.”
“Thirteen days and…” he consulted his watch “… fourteen hours and twenty-three, four minutes ago.”
She gave him a mysterious look, her eyes going a murky shade of honey. Then her lips parted, the smile vacant this time. “Come on, then. I’d rather avoid another macho attack.”
With this she spun around, called to the team she’d chosen for their landing and first visit to one of their targeted tribes.
He followed, his steps slower, his heart racing.
Just what had he thought? That her surrender had been a carte blanche and he was free to pick it up whenever he pleased?
Well, surprise. Seemed she’d withdrawn it. Maybe had torn it up and burned it, too. And he had only himself to blame.
Her withdrawal had started the day they’d embarked on their journey, in subtle ways. Giving him no chance to find her alone, emptying her words and glances of familiarity until she interacted with him with the same neutral ease and distance she did with the rest of the men on the expedition. He hadn’t noticed right away, lost in discovering the new her, all that appealed to his every fastidious taste and satisfied his every uncompromising demand, and struggling to remember why he’d started this, and what was so bad about her craving him, too.
The sobering answer always reared its head. She’d craved him once before, and he’d splurged himself on her and she’d ended up reviling him, sated and sickened.
But he’d almost reached a point where even this argument couldn’t dam the hunger, where everything inside him clamored to have her now, come what may. But he couldn’t, had to wait. And, then, she seemed no longer interested anyway…
“May we ask a question and not be thrown overboard?”
Roque blinked. Berto. And Loretta. And they were standing right in front of him. Where had they come from?
“You’ll be thrown overboard if you don’t make it quick!” he barked, his annoyance taking a short cut to maximum.
The duo exchanged a wary glance, seemed to agree that Berto should deliver the question. “Joo’s team know who’s doing what. We ‘re sort of lost until our boss decides our fate.”
“Call her Joo one more time, Berto, and you’d better learn to swim in a hurry.”
Inferno. His condition was more critical than he’d realized. Not only did he sound like a jealous adolescent, he was acting like one. And slipping in his leader role, too.
Had she left his team floundering on purpose to point this out? Or was she keeping out of his territory to avoid another “macho attack” as she’d put it? Or what had come after its?
This was getting ridiculous, these attacks of absent-mindedness. He gritted his teeth. “You two, come with me.”
In ten minutes they were all aboard two rowing boats. He took over rowing his boat, the grueling exercise and the 110°F temperature easing his agitation.
He didn’t see the wild beauty they were nearing. He was in a limbo of blurred images and sensations, with only Jewel in focus. Her closeness and connection had been his first taste of true living. And now she was drifting away again, and he couldn’t…
“But if it’s better for indigenous people to be left uncontacted by Western civilization, why are we going there?” Madeline’s question intruded into his oppression. Thankfully.
Jewel answered, sitting further away from him than Madeline, yet her voice felt closer, almost inside his head. “We’ll try to undo the damage done by past contacts, Maddy. Even those with the best intentions resulted in disaster when the tribes were exposed to Western infectious diseases, the ones you and I take in our stride but to which they have no immunity.”
Madeline persisted. “Then why go after those who haven’t been contacted at all? Won’t we bring them our antibiotic-resistant strains and vaccination-fortified viruses?”
Jewel sighed. “Contacting unknown tribes will remain controversial. But beside the dangers of imported infections, they have other endemic health problems that can’t be handled by traditional remedies. And those specific people we’re visiting have been discovered. It’s better that we make first contact than anyone else.”
Perpetually simmering fury and futility made Roque interrupt. “You didn’t mention what really drives these people to extinction, Jewel. Once the modern world intrudes, those people fragment and disperse. Then they’re no more. Or, worse, they become like Qircamo’s tribe, both cut off from tradition and incapable of joining the modern world.”
“Protecting indigenous people from the outside world has become an important goal of the Brazilian government and its Federal Department, Roque,” Berto put in.
Roque gave the oar an extra-hard yank, jerking the whole boat. “So Vale do Javari has been declared an indigenous reservation, but did that stop the cattle, logging and mining interests from continuing their pressures? What really galls me is that the uncontacted tribes are remnants of former indigenous nations who fled deeper into the jungle after violent encounters with the outside world. Yet no matter how far they run or how deep they hide, it keeps encroaching, leaving them no escape.”
Silence met his frustrated rage. It lasted until they went ashore and started to trek into the forest. He fell in step with Jewel, and Madeline strode ahead, leaving them alone.
Jewel’s eyes briefly swept to him before snapping back to negotiate the thickening undergrowth covering the forest bed. He wanted to stop her, take her in his arms, rest her head over his heart, let the contact soothe him, defuse him. He hadn’t had anything of her in days and he was suffering.
She suddenly talked.
“The indigenous people situation is frustrating as hell. And I know that whatever we do may seem useless, ultimately. Yet we have to try and help them in any way we can, and hope. But no matter how committed I am to this, I guess you’re bound to feel more so, may even feel in a way responsible as it’s your people who’re driving those people to extinction.”
Her words fell on him like a wrecking ball. It took him a full minute before he was able to articulate an answer.
Then he rasped it. “You think I’m of Portugese origins? Another assumption, eh? But what’s another one in the sea of careless conjectures that form my character in your mind?”
He hadn’t meant it to come out so cold and mocking. So hurt. But it had and he couldn’t recall it, was in no mental shape to apply any brakes. Her golden eyes poured startled confusion over him and his control fractured.
So she’d lost interest already, eh? Even before she had him this time? Bom, let him give her one more good reason—the best reason possible—to thank God for her lucky escape, to congratulate herself for gauging his worth correctly and discarding him like the trash that she thought he was.
“Are you going by my physical appearance in your assumption?” he rasped an abrasive sneer. “Or is it my family names? I’m sure there are existing families with those names, but in my case they’re just a random combination my illegitimate orphan mother picked from the obituaries right before she had me so she’d give me a surname. As for my origins on my father’s side, who knows? He could have been any one out of a hundred or more of her clients.”
CHAPTER TEN
ROQUE moved the Doppler ultrasound probe over the man’s distended abdomen. The images were transmitted to the monitor lying between him and Jewel on the woven-vine-covered floor. She couldn’t see them with the screen facing away from her.
“What do you see?” she asked him as soon as he’d concluded his exam of the abdomen and moved on to the pelvis.