by Livia Grant
Apollonia raised an eyebrow and stared at her from the other end of the beat-up couch. The music of the basement party surrounded them, thumping and bouncing off the walls, making their discussion almost a shouting match. “I’m not really sure you want to know, Miss ‘Farm-Girl-from-Ohio’.” She raised a tattooed hand to take a sip of her own beer.
Sari frowned. “You’re making fun of me. I’m not as sheltered as you think I am.”
Luny laughed. “If you weren’t sheltered, you’d know what this is! All right, it’s a collar that shows I’m in submission to a dominant man. The tag says, ‘Property of Paul’.”
Sari sat up. “What?”
“I’ve agreed to submit certain areas of my life to a man I trust. I serve him and obey him. In return, he makes decisions and cares for me, and sometimes spanks me.”
If she thought Sari was going to run screaming from the room, she was wrong. “But, isn’t that the same thing that happens when you get married?”
“What are you from, the 1950s? Fuck, no!” The music stopped abruptly, allowing her exclamation to ring out in the sudden silence. More than one person turned to look in their direction.
Luny ignored them. “Marriage is about being equal partners! Besides, for me, this is a sexual thing, not a lifetime commitment thing. If either of us are unhappy, he uncollars me and we move on to other partners. We negotiate what the rules are, and when he has control, and what happens if I disobey him.”
Something squirmy was happening between Sari’s legs, and she tried to ignore it. “So, he spanks you when you don’t do what he tells you to?” she whispered, never taking her eyes off of the collar.
Luny shrugged. “I get punished. Sometimes he spanks me, sometimes he whips me, and sometimes he ties me up in an uncomfortable position and leaves me there for a while.”
Sari wasn’t sure, but at the words ‘spank’, ‘whip’, and ‘tie’, she thought something squirmed and twitched. “But why?”
“Because it makes me happy. Because I get my kicks out of kneeling and serving him and doing what makes him happy. Because I get a wonderful, floaty feeling after he punishes me. I don’t know why, but there’s a lot of people like me.”
“Will you show me?” Sari didn’t know what the hell she’d just asked, but it was too late to take it back now.
Luny raised an eyebrow again, but didn’t say no, and Sari knew she was about to explore something that would rock her world.
Luny showed her. Oh, yes. Sari had been captivated and repelled, fascinated and appalled, all at the same time. She hid her head in her hands the first time she watched a paddling, the woman secured to a St. Andrew’s cross. Before the paddling was over though, she was peeking through her fingers. She was at a club in a suburb of Washington, D.C., dressed in a tiny little skirt and a tiny little shirt that showed way too much boob, but was way more clothing than most of the other women wore. And she was kneeling next to Luny, who had suddenly transformed into something called a ‘domme’. The collar was gone, and her tone of voice was one that Sari didn’t dare disobey. She didn’t want to disobey.
Sari saw people dressed in leather with tattoos from head to toe, and people who looked just like her co-workers. There were friendly people, and some real bitches, and a few bastards that Luny warned her never to play with. She saw female subs giving their masters blowjobs under the table while the men talked business, pausing only long enough to fill their pretty subs’ mouths with cum. She saw male subs crawling along beside their mistresses, their poor cocks in little cages. She watched shibari demonstrations and wax play. She saw orgasm torture on a Sybian machine, the sub bound to it as she came over and over without relief, and screamed and begged to be let go. And when Sari was about to run to the woman’s aid, she learned what a safeword was, and why it was the key to everything.
And then, one day, Luny told her it was time for her to play with someone instead of watching. Sari was petrified, but the guy had been nice, and her first spanking was so relaxing she’d sheepishly begged him for more, which he laughingly gave. She’d gone back to play with him a few more times before he went home to Nebraska.
Then, Luny told her about the Roulette event. She herself couldn’t go, but thought Sari might be interested.
“But… it’s with doms I’ve never met!” Sari re-read the description on the website.
“But you never play with a dom more than a few times, anyway! Look, I know it’s been hard for you since you got hurt.”
Sari nodded and chewed on her bottom lip as she studied the screen. A dom who’d known nothing about rope play had suspended her with her hair pulled back by a rope, but the other ropes were slipping and her head was being pulled back so hard she couldn’t breathe. He was distracted by another scene, not noticing her struggle to yell, or when she dropped the ball from her hand that was supposed to be a signal that there was a serious problem. A dungeon monitor had spotted her just before she’d passed out, and gotten her down. She hadn’t really trusted anyone since then.
“I guarantee that an event like this will be so heavily monitored you’ll be totally safe. It’s just one night, and it’s at a club that you and I will never be able to afford!”
“Then you go.”
“Yeah, well, love to, but my manager’s a prick. That’s a huge night for the bar and he’s already said everyone is working, no exceptions.”
“All right. Fine. But I doubt they’ll take me. I’m too new. There’s lots of more experienced subs out there.”
“Promise you’ll just fill it out. I gotta leave to get to work now.”
“I promise.”
Once she got past the legal documents and the non-disclosure agreement, she saw the list of possible activities. She had to choose four things she wanted to try. No, wait, that wasn’t right. She could pick four things she didn’t want to try, and the rest of the list was fair game. Whoa. She saw a few that would be fun, a few that were ‘meh’ and a couple that were on her ‘no way in hell’ list.
Those were easy to pick. The first was at the top of the list, and she clicked it immediately. She scrolled down the list, but before she was done the front door of the apartment banged open, announcing Melissa was home early. Sari closed the lid and turned to greet her roommate, hoping her cheeks weren’t too red. She’d have to finish later.
Melissa finally disappeared into their shared bedroom, and Sari opened the laptop again. The list of hard limits was still showing, so she selected the remaining three absolutes. The rest she was going to have to cross her fingers and hope she wouldn’t get. She finished and hit ‘submit’ without hesitating, afraid she’d lose her nerve if she slowed down.
Melissa appeared in the doorway of their shared bedroom just as Sari logged off.
“What are you doing?” She shuffled through the living room to the kitchen.
“Nothing! Just looking at something for work.” Sari made a production of yawning. “Let’s head to bed. Early day tomorrow and they’re saying maybe some snow.”
“Great.”
Chapter 2
Adam Quinn hit ‘submit’ as he leaned back in his chair and let the soothing rhythms of jazz music wash over him. He didn’t know if this game was the right way to get back into the scene after so many years out of it, but it was only one night, so what the hell. He’d had too many years of stress and worry to even think about letting that side of him out of the closet. He wasn’t even sure his inner sadist was still in there.
“Daddy?” The little voice from the door startled him. He swung around to see Hannah in her My Little Pony pajamas. He held his arms wide and she shuffled over to his embrace. “I had a bad dream.”
“I’m here, kiddo. Nothing is going to get you while I’m on the job, remember?”
She nodded in his arms. This was the reason he’d pushed aside everything else in his life. He’d fought his ex-wife hard in order to keep Hannah, while trying not to let the battle ruin the little girl’s life. He’d won custody a little
over a year ago, and was finally starting to relax.
He picked the seven-year old up and carried her upstairs to her bedroom where he tucked her back into bed.
“Daddy, I need a monster search.”
“A monster search? How would a monster get past me to get to you?” He faked indignation.
“Monsters are tricky, daddy. They go through walls,” the little girl solemnly assured him. Adam knew this was mostly for play; she hadn’t really truly needed a monster search since she’d finally left her mother’s apartment and came to live with him full-time. Thank you, Tricia, he thought with sarcasm.
“Hmm. Is it in the closet?” He threw open the door.
“No!” the little girl declared.
“How about the dresser?” He opened the drawers one by one but she shook her head each time.
“Maybe he’s under the bed, daddy?”
He got down on his hands and knees and peered into the darkness, but the only thing under there was her missing pink barrette. She grabbed it and squealed. “Thank you, Daddy!”
“Okay, kiddo, time to calm down. No monsters here.”
“Yeah, I think they went away.” She slipped down under the covers again, and he settled on the floor next to her bed. He turned out the light and held her hand until he heard her breathing slow and steady, and then he crept out of the room.
An hour later he stretched and groaned. If anyone had told him he was going to spend as much time in the FBI on paperwork as out in the field, he’d have walked out of the job interview. Every year it got worse.
His ringtone interrupted the silence. He knew it was his friend Colin before he glanced at the phone, and he was right.
“I did it, all right? I sent it off an hour ago.”
“Good. ‘Cause if there was ever a dom in need of a wet and willing sub, it’s you. Time to get back in the scene, man.”
“Yeah, well, we’ll see if they think so too. These last few years I’ve buried it so far down and deep that I’m not sure it’s still there.”
“Are you fucking kidding? It isn’t a shirt you take off, man. It’s who you are.”
Adam chuckled. “That ‘me’ was long ago, before a certain sub snagged me.”
“Snagged you? You’re being way too generous. She tricked you into marriage and fatherhood, ran off with another guy when she realized your government paycheck wasn’t going to increase nearly as fast as her ambition, and then tried to get custody just for the child support payments.”
“Yeah, well, I’m just glad it’s all finally settled. I don’t know what I’d do if I’d lost Hannah. I’ve become rather fond of tying little pink ribbons in her hair,” he chuckled.
“Maybe you should try out age play then.”
“Fuck no. I’d be looking at the sub and thinking of my daughter the whole time. I’ve already put that on my off-limits list.”
“You ever made up a limits list before?”
“No,” he chuckled. “Doms are usually the ones who come up with the ideas, or at least veto suggestions made by subs. Walking into an activity where I don’t have a choice, if I want to win the prize, is a weird feeling. This must be what a sub feels like.”
“You can do it!”
“Says the man who doesn’t have enough balls to try it himself.”
Now Colin chuckled. “Damn right! I’ll be watching you squirm from the sidelines.”
“Fuck you, Colin, and good night.” He smiled as he disconnected.
Chapter 3
Sari climbed out of the car, staring at the imposing two-story glass entrance to the dance club Runway. She absently closed the door behind her and the Uber driver sped off, leaving her alone. Black Light was supposed to be underneath Runway. But Runway was dark, and she was alone on this stretch of street. She moved under a streetlight to read the address on the email confirmation.
She’d been more than a little surprised when Black Light had accepted her, and sent an email with the QR code she needed to get in. She’d opened it while Melissa was in the shower, and had just enough time to notice she’d been accepted and the presence of an address before hearing Melissa turn off the water. Sari had printed the email in haste and thrust it into the bottom of her purse. She’d assumed she was supposed to come to Runway, and the Uber driver had known where that was, so this was the first time she’d unfolded the paper since it was printed.
Crap. She was actually supposed to go to some psychic’s shop that had a back entrance into the club. She sighed and turned right towards the light, clutching the paper in one hand, and pulling her coat tight with the other. The lightweight trenchcoat, much classier than her winter parka, was not as much protection against the cold February wind as she needed. And considering how little she had on underneath, it wasn’t surprising that she was shivering. Adding to her list of unwise choices was the pair of bright red stiletto pumps she’d spent way too much money on, which were going to give her blisters before the night was done.
Her nerves grew as she reached the corner and turned left. Here, there were people and stores - Abercrombie, Michael Kors, Urban Outfitters, and more. She paused to look in the windows, wishing she could dress as stylishly as these mannequins. But interns at the National Weather Service, even those who had risen from GS-5 to GS-7, made so little money that she stuck with a few inexpensive basics that were well-worn after two years. She turned back to the sidewalk, only to see several women give her openly hostile stares. She frowned, realizing that with her shoes, bare legs, and absence of any visible hemline under her coat, she looked pretty much like a hooker. She glared back at them and scurried the last dozen yards across an alley, stopping in front of a building with a brown awning. It proclaimed ‘Psychic Reader - Card and Palm Reading, and reassured her that walk-ins were welcome. Feeling even more uncomfortable than when someone thought she was a prostitute, she pushed the door open.
A middle-aged woman in a flowing dress and hair down to her knees greeted her with a smile. Sari was at a loss, so she just held up her paper. The woman nodded over her shoulder in the direction of a curtained doorway in the back of the shop.
“You see Luís.”
Sari gave her a tentative smile in return and ducked through the curtain. On the other side, a muscular man with hair so black it was almost blue, and a visible scar on his weathered right cheek, stood silently in front of a door.
Sari held up her paper in supplication, noticing for the first time that it was crumpled from being clutched too tightly. ‘Nervous?’ she thought wryly. He took the paper and smoothed it out, looking it over carefully.
“May I see your ID, please?”
Sari fumbled in the pocket of her coat and held out her driver’s license. He looked at everything thoroughly, handed it all back, and opened the door.
“Welcome to Black Light. Go down the stairs, follow the hall, and through the door.”
She found herself at the top of a well-lit but chilly staircase. With a last glance at Luís, the guard-slash-bouncer-slash-muscle, she turned and descended into the cold. At the bottom was a narrow tunnel. Her sense of direction said she was headed back towards Runway so she kept walking and in just a minute came to another heavy door. Heat greeted her as she opened the door and stepped into a small room. Rows of lockers covered the walls on both sides. Music leaked into the room from a door just ahead, and between her and the music was another large muscled guy, standing behind a tall counter in the middle of the room. This one smiled as she approached.
“Here for Roulette?”
She nodded, then remembered her manners. “Yes, sir.” She held out the paper again, chagrined to realize how wrinkled it had become. Something caught her eye.
What? She hadn’t looked at the paper since she’d printed it, and she now realized it included her limits list. But there were only three limits listed. The most important one was missing. She remembered getting interrupted by her roommate as she was choosing them. Shit.
“Miss?” The security guard was
still holding out his hand.
“Um, there’s a mistake. The limits list. I forgot to pick one of them. Can I fix it?”
He cocked an eyebrow. “Kind of late to do that. But it’s not my call. You can talk to Spencer. He’s the Dungeon Master. Tall man in a suit.”
She gritted her teeth in frustration as she handed the paper and her driver’s license to him. She was always in a hurry and rarely stopped to double check things.
He scanned the code and nodded.
She heard a locker pop open. He handed her ID and the paper back and pointed off to the side. “All electronics, phones, and watches, in there. You can put your coat there too, if you want.”
She was glad to finally take off her coat in the overly warm room. Or was that nerves that made her so hot? She stuffed everything in and shut the door. He took her wrist and stamped it with something almost invisible, except that in the strange purplish light of the room she could just make out a design. He pushed a button on his desk and the door to Black Light released.
“Have a wonderful time.”
She pushed the door open and entered, her eyes wide and her heart pounding.
Chapter 4
Adam sat at the bar, nursing a drink and watching the room. Being here, in this place of pleasure and pain, should have felt like a homecoming. Instead, he felt a close kinship to a fish out of water. Almost eight years it had been. Eight years since his cocky just-out-of-college self had strutted around a room like this, sure of everything and everyone. With an ego the size of Alaska, it was no wonder he’d been flattered when the pretty young sub named Tricia had latched onto him. Everyone warned him about her manipulative ways, but he didn’t listen, and after two months of dating she’d announced she was pregnant.