“I’ll come and get my mail, but I can’t stay for dinner. I’ll be having a late night. Lots of work for that job I don’t get out of bed for in the morning.” I couldn’t help myself. My sarcasm knew no limits and the target was too convenient.
“No need to have an attitude, Skylar,” Mom snapped. “If you’re coming by, make sure it’s this morning. I have a physical therapy appointment this afternoon. Nice of you to ask how my ankle’s doing.” Ah, so we had officially entered the guilt phase of our conversation. Which was my cue to shut it down or I’d be stuck hearing about the ankle she broke a year ago for the next forty minutes. And I had other things to do with my day.
“I’ll be by in the next hour or so, Mom. So, I’ll see you then,” I interrupted, knowing I’d hear about my rudeness when I saw her. I hung up the phone before she could say anything else.
Well, that just went and ruined my whole day. With a deep sigh, I finished making my coffee and went to get a shower. No sense putting off the horrible inevitability of getting my butt chewed out for being an ungrateful daughter.
**
“Double espresso, please. Oh, and one of those chocolate chip muffins. And you know what? Two of the macadamia nut cookies. To go please.” I handed over my debit card and waited for the barista to ring up my order.
The coffee shop in downtown Southport was busy. It seemed everyone in town needed their caffeine fix at the same time. After putting in my order I stepped to the side to wait. I pulled out my phone to check my email. I was waiting to hear back from one of my clients who I had sent some work over to have him sign off on. I was feeling edgy. The quick visit to my parents’ house had been as unpleasant as I expected. Even though I anticipated the level of bullshit I’d receive, it didn’t get any easier to be on the receiving end of it.
I had never had what most would deem a “healthy” relationship with my parents. I carried a lot of baggage as a result of how they lived their lives. I was an only child, which was probably a good thing. One of my earliest memories was of my parents having a screaming match over who misplaced the TV remote. I remembered crying when my mother would walk out of the house with a bag of stuff, saying she was never coming back. I would cling to her skirt, begging her to stay. She would simply disentangle me from her leg and without a word to me, she’d march to her car and drive off.
The first few times she did it had been emotionally devastating. But as I grew older and the pattern became firmly entrenched, I barely blinked when she would pack her suitcase. My dad would retreat to his office and close the door, pretending that nothing had happened. And when a few weeks later, Mom came back and she and dad entered the lovey-dovey reconciliation stage, they never acknowledged the impact their behavior had on their only kid.
I grew up not believing in permanence. Not believing in long-lasting love and companionship. Because my only role models were selfish asshats.
And they were crappy parents on top of being crappy spouses to each other. I learned that lesson very early. Yet despite that, they were all the family I had and as a result, I felt a tie to them was uncomfortable and at times downright painful.
Mom was the queen of passive-aggressive guilt trips. She was a master manipulator who knew exactly what angle to play to get exactly what she wanted. She had been playing my dad like a fiddle for long enough to become a master at psychological warfare.
And my dad, he could have been a decent guy if he weren’t so entangled with my mom’s crap. She brought out the worst in him and as a result, he became the worst himself. When he wasn’t ignoring me, he was belittling me, making me feel as if what I was doing wasn’t enough. Reminding me over and over that I was a reflection on them and that when I failed, they all failed.
It’s a wonder I was a functioning adult. Though my track record with romantic relationships pointed to deep-seated issues. When I wasn’t avoiding personal complications, I was choosing partners who were the absolute worst possible choice. Mac was a perfect example. He was lazy, lacking in motivation, and a cheater. And I had known all of those things when I asked him to move in with me. None of my friends could understand how their tough-as-nails buddy could allow herself to be taken in by such a jerk. For all my bravado, I was a broken mess.
“Getting your infusion of espresso?”
I was startled at the sound of the deep voice just behind me. I looked over my shoulder and instantly tensed. Robert Jenkins gave me a tentative smile. One that crinkled the edges of his eyes just a little. Enough to make him look ridiculously cute.
I turned my back to him because when I shunned, I shunned completely.
I heard him let out a long breath. “I guess we’re still playing the ‘pretend we don’t know each other game.’”
After my visit with my parents, I was edgy and temperamental. I turned back around, my eyes flashing, and Robert looked taken aback. “If a woman doesn’t want to talk to you, that’s her prerogative. My reason for being on this Earth isn’t to make men feel validated.” I spoke louder than I intended, and I noticed I was getting side-eye from the other customers.
Robert pressed his lips into a thin line. “And when did I ever make you feel that I only wanted you around to stroke my giant male ego? I just don’t understand why you can’t even say hi to me anymore. We used to enjoy spending time together.”
I felt my face flush hot. “Used to being the operative word,” I reminded him.
I went back to watching the barista, hoping my heated stare would get her to move faster. But she seemed to be taking her sweet time making the to-go orders. At this rate, I’d be lucky to get out of there by lunchtime.
I could feel his presence behind me. I could smell the rich scent of his aftershave that wasn’t overpowering but just right. I noticed how the other women waiting in line gave him long, lingering looks. Robert Jenkins was a catch in every sense of the word and most women would gnaw off their left arms for a chance to spend time with such a handsome, intelligent guy.
I wasn’t most women.
And I would not be swayed by a pretty face ever again.
Even if that pretty face was attached to a guy with brains and a good sense of humor. If he couldn’t open up, even a little bit, then I wasn’t interested. My trust had been shattered into a thousand pieces by Mac and I wasn’t looking to get taken for a fool again.
Robert’s order was called before mine. He stepped around me and took what I knew to be his usual black Americano. It was one of the things I had appreciated about him once we started spending time together. I liked a man who didn’t waste time with fancy coffee orders. He took his to-go cup and paper bag. The barista gave him a wide, toothy smile, which he barely returned. She looked disappointed when he turned away with a distracted ‘thank you.’ He came back to stand beside me, and I gave him a confused look, forgetting to pretend he wasn’t there.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“I figured I’d wait until you got yours,” he said, taking a sip of his hot coffee.
“Why?”
“Why not?” he countered.
He really was an odd guy. But if he liked spending time with women that clearly didn't want to spend time with him, then that was on him. Luckily, my order was called a few minutes later and I hurried to take it.
Robert followed me outside. “Skylar,” he called out and I debated ignoring him again.
But then I stupidly stopped and let him catch up with me.
It had started raining and his glasses were misting up, his hair plastered down over his forehead. “Adam tells me you’ll be at their house for dinner this weekend.”
I nodded a little hesitantly. “Let me guess, you’re going too?”
Robert grimaced. “Yeah. Meg’s been wearing me down for weeks. I finally caved.”
I laughed. I couldn’t help myself. “She could wear down the granite.”
“She’s a force, that’s for sure. Though I do appreciate how she keeps Decate in check. He needs a firm hand,” Robert sm
irked.
“You have no idea. He was such a pain in the ass when we were younger.” I stopped myself. I had almost forgotten how easy it was to talk to him. To open up to him. To let him drag things out of me that I hadn’t intended to hand over.
He was dangerous.
**
“Here you go. A housewarming gift.” Robert’s arms were full with a large gift bag and a twelve-pack of assorted microbrews from my favorite brewery in Philly.
I opened the door and waved him through. “You really know the way to this gal’s heart,” I joked, taking the beer from him.
Robert laughed. “After you went through the entire list of beers you liked from this place, explaining ad nauseam their ingredients, I figured it was one thing you’d appreciate.”
I closed the door behind him. He took his coat off and slipped off his shoes. One thing I had come to realize about Robert Jenkins in the past few months is he was incredibly considerate. He picked up on things that other people might not. Like how I always took my shoes off when I came home. Nothing grossed me out more than people wearing shoes in the house. So, after the first time he came over, he took them off every single time without my ever having to ask him to.
Edgar came bounding out of the kitchen, barreling straight for Robert. He went up on his hind legs, planting his giant paws on Robert’s chest, bathing his face in dog spit. Robert didn’t shove him off or make a face. He scratched behind my dog’s ears and gently lifted him down, still giving him a good fuss. “You’re such a good boy,” he cooed as if to a baby.
My heart melted watching this gorgeous man lather my dog with attention. You could learn a lot about a person by the way they treated animals. But I had yet to see Robert be anything but kind to everyone and everything. He was one of those rare breeds of men who were actually good by default.
“Come on in. I was going to attempt to make dinner but then I realized what I was considering. So instead, I gathered up all the take-out menus in my house to offer you a wide variety of options.” I led him into the kitchen and waved my hand over the table in a flourish where three paper to-go menus lay. “You have Chinese. Or you have Italian. And if you’re feeling crazy, there’s even Thai.”
Robert laughed but then made a show of seriously considering his options. “I don’t know. This is a bit of an overload. Why don’t we have all three?” he suggested.
I smiled. “My kind of guy.”
Robert’s eyes met mine and the air around us began to heat. Robert and I had been spending time together quite a bit recently. It started when Adam and Jeremy hired me to revamp the law firm’s website. Robert had become very “hands-on” with the project, spending a lot of time with me going over what their online presence should look like. I hadn’t minded though. Because we most often talked about all sorts of things that had nothing to do with why I was there in the first place.
I quickly discovered that we had a ton of things in common. We both loved beer and hated liquor. We shared a deep obsession with tacos and old kung fu movies. He adored dogs and preferred to spend his evenings watching Curb Your Enthusiasm reruns, which just so happened to be my all-time favorite show. It seemed that, at least on the surface, we were a match made in heaven.
“So, what’s in the bag?” I asked, poking the colorful tissue paper.
Robert’s cheeks turned red. I had figured out that it was a sure sign he was feeling nervous about something. His neck would start to flush, and it would spread upward to his face. It was adorable. “It’s nothing. Just a little something for your house.”
“Ooh, let me see.” I took the bag from his hand. I pulled out a gorgeous handmade wool blanket. It was thick and warm and perfect for snuggling on the couch. I lifted my eyes to meet his and he still looked a little embarrassed. “It’s gorgeous,” I said sincerely. “And incredibly thoughtful.”
“It’s so you can stay warm without having to go back to your room to get a blanket.”
My throat felt uncomfortably tight as I will my eyes not to tear up like a baby.
A couple of weeks ago when Robert had come over to watch a movie I had complained of being cold. I had gone back to my bedroom and brought out my comforter to curl up in. Robert hadn’t said anything, but he’d obviously cataloged it away.
I held the blanket to my face. “It’s awesome.” I reached out and pulled him toward me. I wasn’t the hugging kind of girl but damn it, I wanted to hug him.
“Thank you for being an amazing friend,” I told him, once the hugging felt too close, too intimate and we both pulled away.
Robert tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear, his eyes soft. “You make it easy,” he said softly. We were standing close. So close. I could feel his breath on my face.
Before I could talk myself out of how stupid I was being, I curled my hand around the back of his neck and pulled his face down to mine. Our lips touched and the contact was electric. I heard his sharp intake of breath as I opened my mouth, and he slipped his tongue inside.
Our kiss began sweet and gentle but quickly became wild and passionate. Man, the guy knew how to kiss. He nibbled at my bottom lip. He curled his body into mine, his hands everywhere. He moved like he knew what he was doing.
We made out like teenagers in the middle of my kitchen and just as I started to wonder how far this was going to go, Edgar nosed his way between us, snorting loudly.
We broke away from each other with a laugh. “Way to be a mood killer, buddy,” I groaned, rubbing the dog’s head. He protruded his tongue in a doggie smile as he looked up at us.
Robert ran his hand down his face and seemed to be having trouble getting his breathing under control. I noticed the bulge in his pants and felt ridiculously proud of myself for getting him so worked up.
Because I liked him. I really liked him.
And I should have known better.
**
“They asked me to come too, but I’ll raincheck,” I said, breaking off the familiarity our conversation was easing into.
Robert frowned. “That’s not why I was asking. I only wanted to see if you’d be there. I don’t want you to not come. I’d like it if you were there.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” My phone pinged in my pocket and I pulled it out, seeing the email I had been waiting for. “I’ve got to go. I’ll tell Meg and Adam that I can come another time.”
I started to turn away when Robert reached out and put his hand on my arm. The physical contact was like an electric shock through my entire body. My skin reacted on a primal level to his. It was annoying.
“Please, I’d like you to be there.” His voice was calm and collected, just like he always was. It took a lot to get a show of emotion from Robert, but there was a note to his tone that I recognized as desperation. “I... I miss you.”
I blinked slowly, hardly able to believe his audacity.
“How can you miss someone that you barely know?” I asked nastily.
Robert’s expression shuttered as he dropped his hand from my arm. “We were friends—"
“Were we? Because friends talk about themselves. They open up. They don’t make their other friends feel like idiots for sharing deep, personal stuff, but refusing to do the same.” Okay, I shouldn’t be unleashing on him like that in the middle of the street. I wasn’t a “let’s argue in public” kind of person. I didn’t do public displays of any sort.
It was just another reason why Robert Jenkins was not the guy for me.
He didn’t say anything. Not that I expected him to. He was really good at clamming up.
“I don’t want you to not see your friends because I’ll be there,” Robert said. He didn’t address any of the things I just said to him. He didn’t acknowledge the hurt I had unleashed. He didn’t deny my words, nor did he agree with them. He left me hanging. Again.
“I can see my friends whenever I want. I don’t need your permission to do so,” I retorted.
“Now you’re twisting my words—”
“I’m not going to Meg and Adam’s for dinner. I have too much work to do anyway. It’s no big deal, Rob.”
I was being ridiculous. I was acting like an immature idiot and I knew that if I canceled on Adam and Meg, the two of them would never let it go. Meg would guess, quite rightly, that I didn’t want to be around Robert. She would start digging, wanting to know what my issue was. She knew I had liked Robert. She knew how close we became. And she would want to fix it.
And that was the last thing I needed.
Because Meg Galloway Decate wouldn’t stop if she thought one of her friends was hurting or upset and her actions, while well-meaning, weren’t always helpful.
No, I needed to grow up. I needed to let this man, and my nosy friends, know that he didn’t bother me. That I was a sensible adult with sensible feelings making sensible choices.
“Actually, I don’t want to miss out on the last bar-b-que of the year, so I’d better show up. Plus if I didn’t the two of them might send out the calvary,” I joked, though it was strained.
Robert’s half-smile turned into a full one. He didn’t grin often but when he did—damn.
“I’ll see you there. I’ve been looking for an excuse to buy some more of that tiramisu cake from the Dandelion Bakery.”
Oh man, he was pulling out the big guns. He knew how I craved The Dandelion Bakery’s tiramisu cake. I also remembered the last time he brought some to my house and how badly that night turned out.
Robert’s phone rang and he looked down at the screen. “I’d better take this. So, I’ll see you this weekend?” Why did he have to sound so freaking hopeful? What did he expect to happen? I had made my feelings toward him very clear.
Say You're Mine: An Enemies to Lovers Romance (Southport Love Stories Book 4) Page 6