Skylar was quiet for a long time. The silence was deafening. I wanted to say something to break it. The longer she went without speaking, the edgier I became. She stared down at her hands. Edgar started whining, picking up on the tension.
After what felt like forever, Skylar looked up at me, her eyes wet. “I understand, Rob. I really do. I know why you made the choices you did. You were young and easily manipulated. You felt you had to take care of your family in the only way you could.”
I felt immeasurable relief. “Yes, Sky. That’s exactly it.”
“And I can understand why you continued to dance. Why you set up that website. I imagine once you’re entrenched in it, it’s hard to give up. And this time it was in your hands. Tiffany wasn’t controlling it. That had to be a powerful feeling.”
She got it. She really did.
“Skylar, I’m so relieved you understand. I was so worried—”
“I said I understand, Rob, that doesn’t mean I’m okay with you lying to me for months. For making me fall in love with you all the while keeping something so big from me. I can get why you don’t want your mom or brother to know. I especially understand why it’s important to keep this from Adam and Jeremy. But from me? I’m your girlfriend. I thought we were building something special here.” She was crying now. My god, why was she crying?
“We are, Sky. What we have is so special, so important. Don’t you see what you mean to me?”
She shook her head. “I would never judge you, Rob. But I can’t forgive your duplicity. If you lie to me about this, how can I trust you not to lie about other things? I can’t live a life always wondering if you are telling me everything. If you were saying one thing but then doing something else behind my back.” She covered her face with her hands. “I love you, Robert. I love you so much it hurts. But I can’t be with someone that I can’t trust. You know this.”
She loved me. She just said the words I had been longing to hear from her.
And she tells me as she’s breaking my goddamn heart.
“No, Sky. Don’t do this. We can get through it. I’ll work hard to make you trust me again. I’ll prove it to you.” I was crying now. I couldn’t stop. “Please, Skylar, I love you.”
“I can’t trust you, Robert. That’s the end of this story.” She rubbed her face, wiping the tears from her skin. “I want you to go now.”
I reached for her, pulling her into my arms. I wouldn’t let her go. Not now. Not ever. “You have to believe me; I’ll never lie to you ever again. I promise.” I was sobbing. I couldn’t bear to lose her. Not now. Not after all this.
For a moment she melted into me as if her body couldn't help it. I lifted her face and kissed her nose, her cheeks, her chin. “I love you, Skylar. Please, don’t do this,” I whispered, kissing her mouth, begging her with my lips. “Please.”
She closed her eyes and when she opened them there was a resolve that chilled me to the bone. “I’ve asked you to leave, Robert.”
And that was that.
She had shut down. She was past hearing me now. I didn't want to leave, but I wouldn’t push her either. I knew that once I walked out that door, that was it. We were finished. And that was something I would never, ever accept.
Except it’s what she said she wanted.
And her wants and needs would have to matter more than my own.
I dropped my hands and with a final pat on Edgar’s large head, I stood up. “I love you, Skylar. Don’t ever forget that,” I said quietly as I headed to the door.
As I drove down the driveway back to the main road, I knew that I had left my heart behind and I’d never get it back.
Chapter Fifteen
Skylar
“Come on, Sky, you need to get out of the house. You’ve been wearing that same PJs for a week and a half now,” Meg complained, pulling on my arm. I weakly got up, swinging my legs over the side of the bed.
“Maybe I like being depressed,” I moped.
“Don’t make me call in Lena. She’ll pin you down and cover your face with makeup before forcing you into a skimpy dress and making you go to Sweet Lila’s. I’m much nicer than she would be,” Meg warned.
It had been exactly nine days since I broke up with Rob. Nine whole days of feeling like absolute crap. I had been so sure I had made the right decision. What future did we have if I couldn’t trust him?
But then the doubt set it. Was I being unfair? He shared some really painful stuff with me, and I essentially threw it in his face. I had thrown him out when he was at his most vulnerable.
Maybe I was the asshole in this situation.
No. He had lied to me. I couldn’t be with someone who would keep things from me.
He’s not Mac. He would never hurt you like that.
It didn’t help that Robert had gone radio silent. I had secretly hoped he’d hound me with texts. Love bomb me with flowers and pleas of forgiveness. But none of that had happened. It seemed as if he had accepted our breakup and was already moving on.
How could he move on so quickly? What the hell was wrong with him? I got angry all over again, which was a lot easier. I preferred the rage to the depression, which is where I found myself now. I was missing him. I wanted to call him and tell him I was an idiot and that we belonged together. But pride is a horrible thing. It really gets in the way of prostrating yourself on the ground in front of your recent ex, begging him to take you back.
So instead, I decided bed was the place for me. It stopped me from looking pathetic by showing up at Rob’s office in seven-day-old dirty pajamas. And it stopped me from throwing dishes against the wall when I remembered how he had lied to me so many times.
I was a mess.
Meg had called rather innocently last week to see if Rob and I wanted to come with her and Adam to dinner at a new restaurant in the next town over.
“We broke up,” I had told her in a worryingly nonchalant way.
“What?” she had shouted in my ear. Thirty minutes later she showed up at my door with three pints of ice cream and enough alcohol to sedate an elephant. “Adam is on Tyler duty,” she explained after pouring me a pint glass of beer and all but shoving it in my hand. “Now talk.”
I wanted to unload on her, but how could I? I couldn’t share Robert’s story; it wasn’t mine to tell. How could I explain why I had kicked my otherwise perfect boyfriend to the curb?
“We were too different,” I had lied.
Meg had looked at me like I had grown a second head. “Too different? Are you kidding me? I’ve never met two people more suited for each other.”
“He lied about stuff,” I admitted.
“What stuff?” Meg had asked.
“Just stuff,” I replied vaguely.
“I need more than that if I’m going to burn his effigy in the backyard,” Meg exclaimed.
I had to give her something. My best friend wouldn’t take evasive answers. She’d want concrete reasons. So, I gave her something. “You know that lady that bought all that land and sold it to the developer? Tiffany Hardwell?”
Meg nodded. “Adam told me the other day that they’re no longer representing her. Something to do with sketchy financials. She sounds shady.”
“Yeah, well she’s Rob’s ex,” I told her.
“Are you serious? She's a lot older.” Meg’s eyes widened dramatically. “I mean she’s really good looking for her age. But she has to be what? In her late fifties? When did they date?”
“When he was in law school.” I started chewing on my thumbnail.
“God, that means he was at most twenty-three and she had to be in her late thirties. That’s almost gross.” Meg made a gagging noise and I had to laugh.
“Yeah, well she came to Southport to be with him,” I went on.
“Oh my god, did he cheat on you? I can’t believe Robert would do something like that,” she gasped on the other end of the phone.
“No, he didn’t cheat on me. He just wasn’t...he wasn’t truthful about who she was. An
d I can’t be with someone who isn’t upfront with me.”
Meg was quiet for a while. “I know for a fact Adam and Jeremy don’t know this otherwise Adam would have told me.” I could practically hear her thinking. “There has to be a reason Rob wouldn’t tell people. Otherwise, why would he let Wyatt represent her?”
“They have a shady history from what he told me,” I said.
“Makes sense with what Adam learned about her financial situation. Seems she was involved with some illegal shit too.” Meg paused. “I’m sorry, Sky. Who would have ever thought that mild-mannered Robert Jenkins had a shady past?”
“Stranger things have happened,” I muttered.
Since telling her, she had been checking up on me every day. And with good reason. My reaction to this breakup was the opposite of how I handled my breakup with Mac. In that case, I was full of self-righteous fire, ready to call all ‘I Will Survive’ on his ass and forget all about him—and I had been engaged to the guy.
With Robert, it felt so much worse. Because he loved me. I know he did. The way he had cried when he left my house left no room for doubt when it came to his feelings. He looked as if I had just shattered his heart. And in all my staunch belief that I couldn't be with someone that had lied to me, I hadn’t considered the state of my own heart. Because I loved that man in a way that was totally different from how I felt for Mac. He owned my soul, and he didn’t seem to be in a hurry to give it back.
“I am not going to Sweet Lila’s,” I stated.
“Come on, Lila’s friend Jenna is coming in from the city. Hannah’s off work for the night and Whitney and Web got a sitter. Most of the gang will be there. It’ll be just what you need to get your mind off Ro—stuff.” She stopped herself before mentioning ‘he who shall not be named.’
“I want to lie here and feel sorry for myself,” I whined, pulling back when she attempted to get me to my feet. “And what about Edgar? I can’t leave him here all night by himself.”
Hearing his name, Edgar looked up from his spot at the foot of my bed.
“We’ll drop him off with Adam. Tyler loves him, he’ll be overjoyed to have him there. Then both of you can stay the night,” Meg suggested.
“I don’t wanna,” I grumbled.
“Too bad. Sometimes you have to listen to your knowledgeable friend. I’ve done the wallowing in self-pity thing and trust me, the only thing it accomplishes is greasy hair and bad B.O. Now go get in the shower and I’ll pick out something cute for you to wear. I know your heart isn’t into it but getting dressed and going through the motions of self-care do make you feel better.” She gave me a shove toward the bathroom.
“I don’t have B.O,” I called out.
“Yes you do,” she shouted back as I closed the bathroom door.
After the shower, I dressed in a pair of jeans and my favorite peasant top and damned if Meg wasn’t right. I did feel a little better. That is until I thought about the last time I went to Sweet Lila’s to meet Robert for drinks.
Then the tears started again.
Meg looked at me in alarm. “My God, what are those things coming from your eyes?” she tried to joke.
I swiped the wetness from my cheeks. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can’t stop crying.”
Meg put her arm around my shoulders and squeezed them. “My beautiful Sky, it’s because you love him,” she said softly, kissing my temple. Then she patted me on the ass. “Now enough wallowing, let's go listen to bad music on the jukebox and drink too many five-dollar cocktails.”
We loaded Edgar into the back of Meg’s car and drove to her house. She called Adam on the way to let him know he’d be on dog-sitting duty as well.
He was there at the door when we arrived, having just settled Tyler in front of the TV to watch his favorite cartoon. He took Edgar’s leash as Meg went in to cuddle her son before heading out for the evening.
“You look like hell,” Adam commented with concern. He unhooked Edgar’s leash, giving him free rein of the house. Edgar bounded off to the living room and I could hear Tyler squealing in delight.
“Thanks, buddy. You sure know how to make a girl feel better.” I attempted to make a face, but I was pretty sure it came out wrong.
“Look, I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but Rob’s looking just as rough. He won’t talk to anyone, he just sulks in his office all day. I’ve never seen him such a wreck. I’ve never known him to emote much at all, so this whole broken-hearted thing is throwing Jeremy and me. You seem to have done a number on each other. I wish one of you would tell me what happened,” Adam said kindly, his eyes soft as he looked at me.
“It has to do with that Tiffany Hardwell,” Meg filled in, joining us in the entryway.
Adam frowned. “Ms. Hardwell? What does she have to do with anything?”
I didn’t want to get into all of it again so I cut them off before Meg could relay what I had shared earlier. “Meg will fill you in, but if you want me to at least pretend to have a good time tonight, we need to go now, before I lose my will to live.”
Meg and Adam shared a look.
Robert and I could read each other almost as easily. We had started to understand what the other was thinking simply but glancing at each other.
Hello depression, my old friend…
“Okay, well, have fun tonight. Sky, you’re staying here tonight?”
“I guess so,” I muttered.
“I’ll make sure the guest room is made up then. And we can talk more tomorrow, alright?”
“Do I have to?” I griped.
Adam frowned. “Yes, you do. Meg, make this woman have fun. Her moping is annoying.”
I stuck out my tongue, appreciating the chance for some levity.
Instead of driving to Sweet Lila’s we decided to walk, that way Meg could have some drinks also. “Not too many. Tyler gets up at five in the morning like clockwork.” She looped her arm with mine and we walked the two blocks to the only bar in town.
“I don’t know about this,” I whispered once inside. Whitney, Webber, Lena, and Jenna were already there. Hannah was by the bar looking as if she were in the middle of a heady argument with Brad, the co-owner.
“You can. It’ll be fine. These are all your friends. We love you.” Meg took my head and pulled me in the direction of the crowded booth by the pool table.
“Sky!” Web jumped to his feet and enveloped me in a hug. Kyle Webber always made me feel better, it was just in his nature.
Jenna and Lena called out their greetings, making room for me beside them. Hannah joined a few minutes later carrying a tray laden with drinks. “Hey Sky, I hear you need some liquor, so I brought a little bit of everything.” She handed me a shot glass. “There you go, drink up.”
I knocked back the amber-colored liquid, coughing as the whisky hit the back of my throat. “That’s a girl, have another.” Hannah shoved another glass my way.
“Give the woman time to breathe, Han,” Lena scolded.
“Skylar’s a badass, she can handle it,” Hannah remarked breezily, slamming back two shots in quick succession.
“You look tired, babe. You okay?” Whitney asked, keeping her voice low.
I shrugged, feeling the effects of the shot already. I hadn’t eaten much all day, so any alcohol was bound to go straight to my head.
“I don’t understand where things went wrong with you two. I just don’t get it. He’s been a complete asshole all week. He almost got thrown out of court this morning for mouthing off to the judge,” Lena said in shock. “Let me say that again—Robert Jenkins almost got thrown out of court. Robert, “I read gardening magazines for fun” Jenkins. It’s like we’re in a parallel universe.”
Meg gave her sister-in-law a stern look. “Okay guys, I didn’t drag Skylar out of the house so we could talk about her ex all night. I wanted to get her mind off Robert.”
Lena grimaced. “Sorry, Skylar.”
I waved away her comment. “It’s fine. I'm fine. Do
n’t worry about me.”
But I could tell everyone was worried about me. And they were probably right to be. They had never seen Skylar Murphy like this. I was the one who held it together, no matter what. I didn’t let things get to me, even after throwing my treacherous ex-fiancé to the curb. Even when my parents separated for the hundredth time and my mother burned my dad’s clothes on the front lawn for the whole neighborhood to see.
I was made of strong stuff.
That is until I went and gave my heart to someone, then I was a big pile of mush.
“I’m just going to say, I’ve always really liked Robert, but I’ll go kick his ass if you want me to,” Web offered and I couldn’t help but laugh, even though the stabbing pain in the center of my chest.
“I think if I need some asses kicked, I'm fully capable of handling that myself,” I reminded him.
Hannah lifted her drink into the air. “Here’s to kicking dudes’ asses!” She nudged Jenna who was sitting beside her. “You too, get your drink on, girlie.” Jenna, looking decidedly harassed, sipped on her fruity cocktail to appease her friend.
We all drank heavily after that. I found that once I started, it did make me feel better. I became more talkative the more inebriated I became. A couple of hours in, I was challenging Seb, one of the owners of the bar, and Brad’s brother, to a round of pool.
“Come on, man, you scared of being beaten by a woman?” I taunted, slurring my words. I probably should have thought twice about irritating him, but booze loosens my tongue.
Seb crossed his arms over his broad chest. He really was tattooed and scary. “I’m more scared of you toppling over,” he said looking over at his brother behind the bar and pointing down at me. “This one’s cut off, Brad.”
“Hey! No fair!” I shouted and Hannah started booing loudly.
“Don’t be a Billy-No-Fun, Seb. Can’t you see, our Skylar is heartbroken? Her medicine is lots and lots of alcohol,” Hannah hiccupped, coming to my defense.
Say You're Mine: An Enemies to Lovers Romance (Southport Love Stories Book 4) Page 21