One of the guards pushes Carter to the entrance and, leaving his hands tied behind his back, they speak low into his ear until he begins to walk outside. My stomach clenches, my breath coming in rapid bursts until I think my heart will explode from the anxiety. Is this it? They’re just letting him go? He has his hands tied behind his back, no weapons, and he’s badly beaten, but this is Carter! He’ll be okay, he can survive this. I haven’t gotten him killed, I think with relief. In many ways, he will be better off like this. I blink away the tears and bite down on the inside of my cheek to stop myself from smiling.
He is free; he will survive.
My gaze slides to Amanda and Adam, my thoughts agonizing over where Lucy is when a gunshot sounds out loudly, piercing the night. I look back to see Carter on his knees, his deep red blood pouring from the bullet wound in his leg is a stark contrast to the gray earth around him. And in the distance…deaders.
One of the guards drags him back up to standing before shoving him forward. “Traitor!” he spits at his back and then steps safely back inside the compound.
“This is what happens to people who defy me.” Lee points to Amanda and then to me. “I’m going to let you live—we’re a woman short now.”
The doors begin to close on Carter, his hobbling steps slow going, and in the distance, the groans of deaders in search of blood.
“These doors will now be sealed. We don’t need anything out there anymore.” Lee points behind him as the doors are pulled closed. “We have everything we need to survive in here. And this is where we will all stay. Like one big happy family.” Lee smiles and the doors slam shut behind him. Soldiers begin to block up the doorway, locking us all firmly inside forever, and I think I might pass out from the bubble of hysteria that is blossoming inside me.
Tash turns me around, his face too close to mine.
“I chose his punishment—Carter’s. I hate traitors—scum of the earth, they are.” His gaze trails over my face. “But I especially hated that arrogant motherfucker, always looking down his nose at me. So now I’m going to make sure that he becomes everything that he hates. He’ll become one of the enemy that he fought against so vigilantly, and all the while,” his eyes gleam, “I’ll be defiling his memory by taking his woman, the only thing he had left to care about in this world.”
Tash pushes me forward, not catching me when I stumble and fall to the ground, getting a face full of mud and sludge. I turn my face sideways and roll onto my side, ignoring his laughs as he watches me attempt to get back up. After a minute of struggling, he drags me back up to my feet, teeth chattering and my body frozen in shock. Tash brings his mouth close to my ear, and his breath is hot against my neck.
“Looks like it’s dinnertime.” He sucks my earlobe into his mouth, his moustache rough against my neck.
“I’m not hungry,” I stutter out in reply.
“I don’t care.” He laughs as he pulls me toward one of the dark huts to our left.
This can’t be happening.
He pushes open the door, the silence and darkness of the room catching me off guard. I stumble over a small step, my mind racing at an unfathomable pace. The door shuts behind me and Tash’s heavy footsteps move toward me in the darkness, and in the background all I can hear is the sound of Carter’s screams.
“Where is Lucy?” I stutter out as Tash’s hands claw at my clothing.
Survive, no matter what happens…
“Oh, we let her live. We always try and let the women and girls live.” His hands move from me, and he pushes me forward until I bump up roughly against a wooden table. “Though she’s sick, probably gonna die pretty soon. So I guess it doesn’t really matter.”
“What’s wrong with her?” I ask urgently and try to turn my head to look at him. I hate him, I don’t want to talk to him, but I need to know what is wrong with her. I promised to protect those children, and I failed.
He turns my face away. “Don’t know, don’t care. Her mama used to barter with me for the kids’ medicine, but Lee’s put a stop to all of that. Gotta store all the meds up now, that’s what he says. You never know what the future holds.” His breath is hot against my neck as he buries his face against my skin and presses a kiss against me.
And it’s true: who knows what this future holds now? I just hope that I don’t last long in this world. Because yes, even now I have hope. Like a flower that continues to bloom, refusing to fade, I hold out hope. Only now my hope isn’t for a new start, or for a future that is better than this. Now I hold out hope for a swift death.
I swallow down the wail of fear that I feel bubbling inside me. I swallow over and over, willing it to go away. Willing everything to go away. I won’t give them my tears. No matter how long I have left in this world. These tears are mine and mine alone.
Survive…
I blink slowly, feeling Tash’s hands pawing at me again, and I want to cry out but I don’t. Instead I shut down my emotions and I force away every ounce of good that I have left in me. Because I can’t be that woman now. Not in this world.
Because I won’t make it if I’m that woman.
So I lock up my goodness and I switch everything off, and I count backwards as I get lost in my misery once more. I will become hard, and mean, and cruel if I have to. Because I made a promise to Ben and Tesrin to survive, no matter what the costs.
And this is the only way I will make it in this world now.
By becoming someone I am not.
But I must, I have to.
Because I must survive.
Odium 1
The Dead Saga
is
OUT NOW!
Read on for the first chapter.
Odium
The Dead Saga
By
USA Today
And Bestselling British Horror Writer
Claire C. Riley
One.
Fear.
Fear can make people do crazy things. Maybe that’s what makes me step forward and say something? Maybe. On the other hand, maybe it’s the injustice of it all. She doesn’t deserve this treatment. Their treatment. None of us do, but like I said before, fear can make people do crazy things.
A once upstanding member of the community will quite willingly bash your brains in; I know this to be true. I have lived it, have seen it, and have breathed it for the past...two years? Three years? God, can it really have been three years already? No, surely not. The years go by so slowly, yet so quickly all at the same time, and I’ve lost track now. Constantly feeling the icy grip of death upon her neck will do that to a girl. I have had enough now though. Enough of death, enough of being bullied and ordered around, and enough of the torment. I thought the deaders were what you had to fear the most. I was wrong.
My stomach rolls in fear and panic, bringing me back to the present. She can’t be more than thirteen, with a tall, lithe body, short strawberry blonde hair, and cute-as-a-button features.
“Stop.”
I look around, unsure of who has just spoken. Upon realizing that it was me, I clamp a hand firmly across my mouth in an attempt to seal in the rest of the sentence. If I could kick my own ass, I would.
Lee turns to look at me, his eyebrows furrowing at my interruption. I look around and realize that the gathering crowd has stopped their gawping at the young girl. Now they all stand and stare at the crazy woman who has opened up her big mouth.
Stupid, stupid me.
His grip tightens on her shoulder, his top lip rising in a crude snarl. He isn’t the man he used to be; that much is clear. None of us are the same anymore, though Lee seems like more of a dick than most.
Lee turns back to the young girl, seemingly dismissing my request for him to stop.
“You have been found stealing more than your allocated ration. You are therefore sentenced to life outside of our protective walls. Our community will no longer support your kind.”
Your kind? What the hell does that even mean?
Her eyes stray to m
e, a pleading look set in them.
“You are now banished.” His words cut her like an axe through wood, and she collapses to the floor with a howl of fright.
This can’t be right. She’s just a child.
Two men step forward and grab her by the arms, pulling her up to stand.
“You will leave immediately.” His words ring in my ears with finality. “You cannot collect your things. You cannot say your goodbyes. You cannot and will not escape your punishment.”
“You can’t do that.” My voice is quiet, my words almost whispered for the fear of what I know will happen if I speak up, but I have to. I can’t let this young girl die. Someone has to stand up for her—someone has to stand up to them. I’ve seen this ending for others far too many times now, and I don’t think I can take any more.
Shit, but why does it have to be me?
Lee looks across at me again. “Pardon?” he asks politely. Too politely for my liking. It makes my hollow stomach do a little back flip.
“You can’t do that… She’s, she’s just a child.” I step forward. Hardly even a step—more of a shuffle, really. “This is wrong.”
Of all the people that I have witnessed be banished, in all the years that I have been here, why does her fate affect me so? There is nothing particularly outstanding about her; she doesn’t remind me of anyone I used to know. A younger, less broken me, perhaps? Nope. Just some skinny kid with pretty eyes. So why her and why now?
“We cannot continue to support her kind any longer.” He walks toward me. “For humanity to survive, we must stand as one. By stealing, you are singling yourself out. I am thinking of us all. Her kind will kill us all if the…others don’t first.”
My heart skips a beat at his last words. The others. Yeah, they’ll kill us if they get a chance, but still…
“I don’t see you starving to death.” My eyes narrow at him.
In fact, even the pigs are better fed than us. I run a hand across my ribs.
His eyes widen at my obtuseness, and I’m surprised that he doesn’t give me a nice backhanded slap to go with his fish-bowl look. The crowd gasps at my boldness, and I glance at them with a roll of my eyes.
“And what do you mean her kind? She’s one of us, not a deader,” I continue bitterly.
“Thieves,” he spits back.
I look at the stale half loaf of bread, now covered in dust and dirt on the ground. My stomach rumbles all the same. I’m always hungry these days. We all are.
How did we even get to a place where people are hungry and begging for scraps from the rulers of this pitiful town, and yet bread is allowed to go stale? I can’t fathom this madness.
Her life for some bread.
“She’s not a thief; she’s a child.” My voice cracks on the last word and I clear my throat and say it again. “A child, Lee.”
He lowers his head, appearing to consider my words. The crowd has grown restless. I look at them. Some I consider acquaintances; not friends—no, I can’t and won’t have friends anymore. It’s much too dangerous to have friends in this world. Friends get you killed, or they die. Neither scenario sits well with me. Either way I wouldn’t ever want any of these cowards for my friends. They’d sooner sell me for food than stand by my side.
The crowd mumbles and shuffles, whispering to each other. Scared, that’s how they all look—scared and pitiful, and here I am hating on them. I don’t think these things because I’m being cruel though; these are just the basic facts. All the people watching the scene play out are much too thin, their skin is dirty, and their clothes are threadbare. Each one of us is frightened, but that’s life these days. The more fear you hold, the more control people like Lee have over you.
Their eyes won’t meet mine, and I can’t make out what they say. Do they agree with me? Surely they must know that this is wrong—sending yet another civilian to die. Or are they as bloodthirsty as he is? Because he must be bloodthirsty to do this.
Blood and death.
That’s what it means to be sent over the wall and away from our town. Blood and death. Our wall is fifty feet high, give or take, and made of steel, stone, and whatever else was available when it was first built. Our wall is the toughest yet and is all but impenetrable—so I’m told, though I have never seen the other towns, or their walls. I was here at the beginning, and haven’t left since, the walls strengthening, fortifying, and locking us all inside. All but those in charge.
Keep the dead out and the living in—kind of like prison, but reversed, and with dead people. So maybe not, actually. I almost shrug at my own thoughts. Over the years, the walls have been compacted further still with a cement-like substance to fill any holes, and to thicken their outer shells.
Yet, for walls that are supposedly here to protect us from the outside world, I have seen more horrors within them than I would care to recollect.
“It’s Nina, isn’t it?” Lee finally looks back up at me and I break my reverie and lock eyes with him. He is a cold-hearted bastard.
“Yes.” My hands ball into fists in my pockets to stop myself from shaking, and if I’m totally honest, to stop myself from bitch-slapping him right across his creepy old face.
“I don’t like this any more than you do, but you have to understand that without the bread, the pigs do not have enough food to live. Without the pigs, we do not have enough food to live. We breed them to feed us, and to use as bait for when we send out our scavengers beyond the walls. Without the pigs we would be in a much worse scenario than what we’re in currently, and we would most likely starve. Therefore she is condemning us all to death.” He looks to the crowd. “All of us.” His arms open wide and gesturing, almost god-like. “As if there isn’t enough to fear in this new world.”
The crowd nods and agrees. Fear. Fear is the biggest weapon now. Oh, and the army of dead, of course. Yeah, they’re pretty badass too.
“No, no, that’s not what I was doing. I was just hungry… I thought it was going to be thrown away. I thought…” The young girl cries louder. “I just didn’t think,” she wails with wide, frightened eyes. She seems suddenly much younger than her teenage years, like a babe in arms, as she cries and begs for forgiveness.
Lee turns to her with a sympathetic frown. “My dear that is the problem: you didn’t think. If everybody acted that way, we would all perish. You are a thief; you have admitted so yourself, and with that in mind I will not alter our strict laws on this matter.” He turns to the crowd. “Let this be a lesson to anyone who thinks that they can steal from me.” His eyes shift before he corrects himself. “From us.”
Asshole.
The two men holding her begin to drag her away with Lee following behind. I, it seems, am being ignored. I should be glad that I haven’t received some sort of punishment for my outburst, really, but instead my palms are sweaty because I know that I can’t just leave it.
Damn my morals. Where did they come from? And how can I send them back?
I think I get it now, why I want to save this girl: I want to escape with her. I can’t keep praying for someone to help me if I’m not willing to help myself. I hate it here, yet I’ve done nothing to protect myself since I was shown where I stood on this food chain of life.
I hop from foot to foot, my nerves set on edge. I know what I must do, but I know that upon doing it I will condemn myself too. I look around once more at the so-called life that I have been living—dirty, lonely, and trodden down so that we behave as we’re told. This is no more civilized than the outside world. Well, I don’t think so anyway. Since no one lives out there anymore.
“You can’t do this. She’ll die,” I shout out. My eyes follow the men that continue to drag her since she will not walk, refusing in any way to help them send her to her doom. I don’t blame her; I’d do the same. I run after them, ignoring the voices behind me telling me to stop, to hush, to just walk away. The crowd, it seems, knows that I am right, but is unwilling to stand with me.
Cowards.
I grip Lee
’s shoulder. “Stop, don’t do this. She didn’t realize what she was doing; she’s just a child, for Christ’s sake.”
He swings around and slaps me hard across my cheek, catching me off guard. The sound ricochets around the small square, and I stumble back a couple of steps with a sharp yelp. My hand grips my cheek as hot tears burn my eyes, but I refuse to cry. Not for this man, not anymore. He glares at me and continues to walk away. I know I’m pushing his patience—a slap will be the least of my worries if I don’t shut the hell up—but I don’t care. What kind of world is it where we send our children to die for stealing rotten food?
The guards are shoving her up toward the steps leading to the battlement-style walkway at the top of the wall. The rope ladders are being thrown over the top to the other side, ready for her to climb down.
I grip him hard by the shoulder again.
“Please…”
He spins to look at me. “Do you think that I enjoy doing this? Do you? Because I don’t, but people must know not to cross the line.” Spittle gathers at the side of his mouth. “They have to know how to behave now, or none of us will survive. They have to know who is in charge…”
“In charge of them? That’s what you mean, isn’t it? We know that already, Lee; you don’t need to kill some innocent girl to prove it to us.”
“She is hardly innocent, Nina. She stole, and now she must pay for that selfish act.” He glares.
I snort. “Please. Teenagers are selfish; it’s in their DNA. Just because the world has changed, it doesn’t mean that human nature has.” I flinch when his hand twitches again, bracing myself for another slap or something harder.
The Dead Saga: Odium 0.5 (Nina's Story) Page 18