Regan watched as her parents gazed at each other questioningly. She knew they hadn’t planned for Rafe to work this year. They had wanted him to be close to home and concentrate on studies. But she could see they were willing to comply with anything and everything the doctor said.
The family listened to Dr. Heath with fascination, asking few, if any, questions. The doctor seemed to have Rafe’s emotions and needs all in his notes, and read them off one by one, explaining things here, emphasizing there. Rafe sat in silence through the whole session, not objecting to or confirming anything the doctor said. He just looked uncomfortable about being discussed so candidly and Regan felt bad for him having to sit through it. She knew she wouldn’t like to be discussed like that, even if the people discussing her were her family who she knew only had her best interest in mind.
***
That night the whole family gathered to celebrate Rafe’s return. He’d had an easy enough time that afternoon keeping track of names when it was just the immediate family, but for the celebration his sisters had brought their husbands and children with them as well. Regan noticed her brother was having trouble remembering whose name went with what child.
“Don’t worry about it,” she whispered to him as they sat down at the table to eat.
Regan had gotten over her shyness while Rafe was at Dr. Heath’s this morning. She had written all of her feelings out in her journal and concluded she was simply unaccustomed to her brother—so, in a sense, fascinated by him, and he was fascinated by her. They hadn’t grown up together and seeing each other this morning, after being apart for ten years, had been a shock. Their feelings would take adjusting, but nothing was “weird” between them. She decided she’d imagined all that—the strange, “magical” attraction and … everything. It was too crazy. And creepy. She decided she had just been shocked by his attractiveness, but she was getting used to it now. She figured soon her strange feelings would all go away. Relief!
She explained all that to Rafe as soon as they came home from Dr. Heath’s. She had him sit outside with her on the front steps and confessed her confused feelings (pretty much).
She concluded her complicated explanation to him with a shy smile, “I was just overcome with happiness to see you.” She flushed, her face turning a pretty shade of pink. “I’m really emotional. Even cheesy commercials make me cry.”
Rafe bit his lip. He had studied her hands while she spoke, watching her graceful manicured fingers clasp and unclasp as she tried to fit together things that couldn’t be explained (that is, without knowing a world beyond the one they were now sitting in); saying nothing through her whole explanation, just silently staring at her gentle hands with a furrowed brow.
He looked up at her now, his eyes seeking hers. “Did you cry when I got taken away?”
Regan widened her eyes. “Are you kidding? Of course I cried! I did nothing but cry. When I lost you I didn’t only lose my brother, I lost my best friend. I mean that Rafe. You were my best friend. I hated living without you. I hated walking to school by myself, and I was afraid to go in our tree house without you. It had spiders in it, and you always killed them for me.”
He smiled a little. “I was a good brother, huh?”
“You were the best. I mean it. You really were. There was this boy—Charlie Braggs—he used to always chase me at school. But you wouldn’t let him. You used to beat him up, and make him leave me alone. When you disappeared I had to spend every recess in the bathroom because of stupid Charlie Braggs. I would always start crying while I was holed up in there, thinking that if you were still around you wouldn’t let Charlie be mean to me.”
“I wouldn’t have,” he said softly. “I wouldn’t have let anyone be mean to you.”
“I know,” she assured him. “Whenever anything went wrong in my life, I’d always think that: This wouldn’t be happening if Rafe was here.”
Rafe gazed at her intently. His eyes locked on hers. She could feel his warm breath on her cheek as he drew closer. And closer.
For a frantic moment, Regan thought he was going to kiss her. Her breath caught and her heart beat panicked. Went wild. But then he didn’t kiss her. Of course. He straightened, running a hand over his face. He pulled out a cigarette.
Cigarette = outlet.
Watching him, Regan reddened, feeling shallow and silly. Complaining to him how it had been for her while he was away. Like she’d had to endure so much. She cringed.
He looked so solemn. She wanted to do something comforting—something to take away his pain.
“I’m sorry all of those awful things happened to you,” she said softly.
“It wasn’t that bad.” He gazed away from her, his thoughts looking dark and far off. “I survived.”
Regan bit her lip. “I know the doctor said we’re not supposed to pry, but … will you tell me about it sometime?”
Rafe winced. He drew on his cigarette, looking tortured. He expelled slowly, watching her through the smoke.
His low voice murmured softly near her ear, “I can’t tell you, Regan. I want to. But I can’t.” He backed his head away slightly to look into her innocent eyes, trying to make her understand. But of course, she didn’t. Couldn’t. But explaining would literally destroy his soul.
He lightly brushed his fingers down the length of her graceful arm. With the gesture he was only trying to reassure her, yet his touch sent sparks through her body. Through his as well. But that wasn’t his intent. To make sparks. He scrubbed a hand over his face.
Gazing upward, he negotiated in his head what to tell the heartbreakingly beautiful creature sitting beside him. “I swear though, if I could, Regan … I’d tell you everything. Everything. But there’s rules—” He winced as though he had been struck.
Turning pale, he shook his head. Swallowed. Weighing his next words carefully, he sought her eyes. “I want us to be close, though, okay?—like we used to be.”
Hearing him say that, his voice so tender and full of emotion, did strange, painful things to Regan’s heart. She didn’t understand him. So much of his coming back seemed unreal. But she wanted that too—for them to be close like they used to. She wanted that with all of her heart.
***
Regan stared at Rafe now, beside her at the dinner table, still so amazed he was back. She laughed about the niece-and-nephew situation. “I can’t even remember all their names,” she told him, “and I was here when they were born.”
We really do have too many nieces and nephews to keep track of, Regan decided. Both their sisters, Sasha and Karla, had three children, and Donnett had five. That made for a crowded house that night, and Regan worried that all of the kids climbing over Rafe might get on his nerves. But it ended up being the opposite. He seemed to enjoy their attention. He spent most of the evening swinging them around and wrestling with them on the floor.
As the party began to die down a little, Regan found herself sitting with Sasha and Carla, bored out of her mind, as they were—as always—discussing their children’s potty habits. She was relieved (and thrilled) to see Rafe making his way towards her, dodging children as he came.
“Do you want to come outside with me while I have a cigarette?” he whispered confidentially.
She nodded, honored that he’d specifically sought her out for the event, though still saddened by the event. Cigarettes kill.
Outside there was a cool breeze. Regan hugged her knees, trying to get some warmth as they sat on the front steps.
“Kind of a wild family we belong to, huh?” she asked, hoping he was glad to belong.
“Yeah. They’re nice.” He lit up a cigarette. “It’s nice—a family.”
His words warmed her, made her feel hopeful. After hearing everything the doctor had to say this morning, she was worried maybe Rafe couldn’t accept being part of a family, maybe it would be too hard for him.
Regan’s eyes lingered on the miracle sitting beside her. Softly she reflected, “You were always my wish.”
; Rafe jerked his head up at her, his eyes as wide as saucers. “Pardon?”
“On a falling star, or a wishing well. Or a dandelion, or anything I could wish on—I always wished the same thing—that you would come back.”
His dark eyes glistened.
He seemed to be holding his breath, waiting for her to go on.
She gave a little laugh. “Every year for my birthday when I blew out the candles on my cake I’d make the same wish: that you’d come back.” She smiled wryly. “One year Donnett put those trick candles on my cake—you know, the kind you can’t blow out? When I wasn’t able to blow them out I started crying, and got all hysterical. I told Donnett I hated her, and ran out of the house. I was afraid that because I wasn’t able to blow out all of my candles my wish couldn’t come true. But it did anyway.” She stared at him with amazement. “Here you are.”
Rafe stared into her eyes, then tore his gaze away from her and looked down at his cigarette. He ran a hand through his hair. “Here I am.”
Regan didn’t understand why that made him look so somber. She nudged him playfully, trying to ease the moment. “It was like the Birthday Fairy—or an angel—heard my wish.”
Rafe watched her through the smoke of his cigarette.
***
(Note from the authors: Our novel based on this short story and these characters will be out this fall, 2013)
Peek at:
THE STRANGER INSIDE
BY MELANIE MARKS
I was being kissed. That was the first thing I noticed. The second thing was, I’m thirsty. But the kissing part—that was weird. Grey didn’t usually kiss me. Hardly ever. And when he did, he didn’t go on and on like this. He’d kiss me, and then push me away, as though he’d just committed a major felony, as though he was going to burn for it.
But not now, tonight … or today, or whatever it was. He was all over me, as though he couldn’t get enough. Not that I minded. I didn’t. It was nice. Only, I was thirsty.
“You smell good,” he murmured.
His voice sounded far off, distant, as though it was coming from the bottom of a well.
I’m dreaming. I must be dreaming.
I couldn’t think clearly. But nothing seemed real—or right. For one thing, I was pretty sure this guy wasn’t Grey. Grey was really lean. This guy was brawny. It was as though I was entwined with a football player.
And his hair felt different, thicker, coarser. Grey’s hair was baby fine. I tried opening my eyes, but couldn’t. I was too tired. They wouldn’t open.
“Yeah,” I told myself lazily, “this must be a dream.”
The kissing continued, on and on. I just went with it, enjoying it pretty much, but the thing was, my thoughts were beginning to focus. This wasn’t Grey. It couldn’t be. Grey was in New York. I was … somewhere else.
Where was I though? That was the question. I could almost remember, almost, but not quite. My father. Something about my father. Oh! My heart gave a painful squeeze as realization washed over me: He’s dead.
A chill raced down my spine. In a rush it all came back to me—his death, my move to Washington, stuck living here again with my mom and stepfamily, the Shades. I remembered everything, everything except why I was here being kissed by a boy.
My heart ricocheted off my chest. WHO AM I KISSING?
I jerked my eyes open. Suddenly, I could do it easily, as though waking from a dream. Only I hadn’t been dreaming. There was a guy on me.
“Hey, get off me!” I said, shoving at him.
“Why?” The guy pulled away, looking bewildered. Concerned, even. “What is it? What’s the matter?”
His face was flushed and his hair disheveled, but he was good looking—not my type, but good looking. Big, with blond hair and wide, blue eyes. He was staring at me, definitely confused. Frantically, I tried to place his face, but couldn’t. He was a stranger. I’d never seen him before in my life.
Book Summary:
After her father's mysterious death, seventeen-year-old Jodi Logan is forced to move back in with her mother and stepfamily. This in itself tears at Jodi. Her mother kicked her out two years earlier after discovering Jodi was romantically involved with her stepbrother, Jeremy. To make matters worse, there’s Jeremy himself. No matter how hard Jodi fights it, she’s still drawn to him.
Adding to the suck-fest that is now her home life, lately Jodi has time lapses she can’t account for, waking places she doesn’t remember going. When she comes to one day and finds herself making out with a boy she's never met, Sawyer, Jodi learns she's been living a double life as a girl named Kenzie. But who is Kenzie? Jodi fears she's going crazy—maybe developing a split personality. But when she discovers the truth, it's even worse. Jodi is possessed by a ghost—a stranger inside her that refuses to leave. When a girl from school is murdered Jodi doesn’t know who she can trust: her new friends? Sawyer? Jeremy? Or the stranger inside?
BOOKS By Melanie Marks:
The Dating Deal
The Stranger Inside
High School Boys
His Kiss
Fall For Me
Fake Boyfriend Wars
(Actually, there’s more)
http://www.byMelanieMarks.com
THE DATING DEAL
“Come with me to the dance. Caitlin and I just broke up. I need a date, you need a date. Let’s just … date. This isn’t a noble gesture or anything. I don’t do stuff like that. It’s a deal. We’re making a deal.”—Trent Ryan.
Megan Turner thought her hard-drive was cleared before she sold her computer in a local online auction, but it wasn’t. Her journal was recoverable, and now it is in the hands of someone she really doesn’t want to read it—the boy she’s had a crush on for years.
Author Bio:
Melanie Marks was born and raised in California. She is married to a naval nuclear submarine officer and blessed with three amazingly terrific kids.
Melanie has had over sixty stories published in magazines such as Highlights and Teen Magazine as well as in various anthologies, many being Chicken Soup for the Soul books. She’s had nine children’s books published and eight teen novels, THE DATING DEAL; I REMEMBER YOU; HIGH SCHOOL BOYS; THE STRANGER INSIDE; WHEN KYLE CAME BACK; HIS KISS; FALL FOR ME; and A DEMON’S KISS. More teen novels are forthcoming this fall, 2013.
Melanie enjoys reading in the bathtub, writing in bed, and living in a house longer than two years. Visit her website at http://www.byMelanieMarks.com or email her: [email protected]
Fall Forever (Fall For Me) Page 10