by Lexi Blake
He went back to watching the snow. “If that is what you wish to believe, Kelsey, then I cannot stop you.”
Three Kelseys. He wasn’t going to slip up and give me what I wanted. He wasn’t going to call me cara mia or bella. I was Kelsey. I should be happy he wasn’t calling me Miss Owens. He got rigidly polite when he no longer cared. I heard the king telling me to fight for him, but at that moment, I wanted to fight with him. I wanted him to feel as shitty as I did. It wasn’t fair. He was the one leaving me over a professional decision. He was the jerk.
I crossed my arms over my chest. A nasty feeling had taken root in my gut. What can I say? Put me in a corner like that and I tend to turn bitchy. “The king is giving my training over to Hugo. Any thoughts on how to handle him?”
He sighed, the sound heavy to my ears. “Listen to him, Kelsey. Hugo doesn’t have as much experience training Hunters as I do, but he’s quite good at it. Do what he advises you to do.”
Oh, that wasn’t what I’d meant at all. “I meant sexually, Marcus. I know you like it rough. I was wondering if Hugo does, too. Or should I play the sweet innocent? Some guys like that. Is he as possessive as you are? I hope not. I thought I’d give Casey a try, too. Liv seemed to like his bite. He’s a baby. I could train him.”
That got him moving. Super fast, actually. One minute he was at the window, the next he was right in front of me. His eyes were obsidian and his fangs long. I had to hold my ground because I wanted to take a step back.
“Casey? Really, my dear, that is sad. I rather thought you would go after that wolf who keeps sniffing around what belongs to me.” His accent was thicker. I appreciated him keeping it in English though. Sometimes when he gets upset, he forgets that I don’t speak Italian.
I knew who he was talking about. It was ridiculous, but I would use it. “I don’t belong to you anymore. I’m free to do what I want, who I want. You know, he did ask me out. It didn’t take him long. Trent heard you dumped me, and now we’re going out next Saturday. I’ve never fucked a werewolf before. Do you think Trent will want to do me doggy-style?”
Marcus growled. His hand tangled in my hair, pulling my head back so I was forced to look up at him. That bite of pain sizzled through my body. Marcus ran his nose along my neck. He was more vampire than man now. He was on the edge of losing control. And I kept pushing.
“I’ve heard the wolf packs can get crazy on a full moon.” I gasped as his teeth dragged against my skin. I wondered if he was planning on getting one last feed in. I would fight him on that. He pulled me flush against his body. One hand held my head to the side while the other traced the line of my spine. “Do you think they’ll invite me to join in on their orgy?”
“Not if they wish to live, bella.”
I laughed. I also moved against his body. I loved the way he felt. I wanted more than anything to throw down with him one last time. “It’s going to be hard to defend my honor from across the Atlantic.”
He stopped, seeming to come back to his senses. His head came up and that awful blank look was back on his face. “Go to bed. I can’t promise you I’ll stay in control. I seem to have lost it tonight, in every way possible.”
“You’re really going to leave me.” I knew I sounded pathetic, but I already missed the feel of him against my skin. My vision blurred, tears nearly blinding me.
Marcus stared at me as though trying to make up his mind. He reached out and brushed a tear off my cheek. “Yes, Kelsey. I’m going to do what I should have done long ago. I’m going to shut myself up in my villa on Poveglia. I’m going to be alone. I should have done it ten years ago. I was an idiot not to do it four years ago.”
“Why? What happened four years ago?” I knew what happened ten years past. Marcus had aided the king in taking down the old Council. There was a piece of Marcus that thought he should have died with them.
Marcus slumped onto the couch. It was the first time I’d seen him move in an inelegant fashion. “Four years ago, the queen gave birth to her daughter.”
God, my rival was a toddler. The thought made my heart clench. “Well, Vorenus, if it’s any consolation, Donovan is ready to marry her off to you as soon as she’s legal. I hope to hell you’re both happy. I’m sure you’ll find some other idiot to fill in the time between now and then.”
“You don’t understand. I don’t want her. I will never be able to want her. She’ll always be a child to me.”
“You’re right. I don’t understand.” I sank down across from him. I felt tired, but I wanted to hear this story.
“She was promised to me.”
“By Donovan?”
He shook his head. “No. By a prophet named Jacob, though you would know him as Apollo.”
I felt my eyes widen because I hadn’t gotten that memo. There should be an Idiot’s Guide to Supernatural Creatures given to me with my Nex Apparatus training binder. “Damn. Are you telling me the Greek gods still roam the Earth?”
He shook his head ruefully. “Many of the beings who pretended to be gods still roam this plane. Have you ever heard the term sympathetic transference? No? It’s a condition in which a vampire bonds so fully with a companion that when she dies, she takes him with her. It’s the only natural way a vampire can die.”
I felt my heart break a little. “You want it.”
“I want to love a woman so much that I die with her, yes. I stare eternity in the face and it seems so long. Do you know how many I have loved and watched grow old and perish? You grow selfish after a while because you truly understand how insignificant you are. I always believed that if I found that woman, I would enjoy a lifetime knowing that my time was almost over. It would lend it a sweetness, an urgency. It would make me feel alive.”
He wanted to die. It was so much more complex than that, but at the heart of it was an end to Marcus’s long life. “And this prophet told you that Evan would be the woman for you?”
“I was told that one of the queen’s line would be the woman I would die with. I feel nothing for her beyond an almost fatherly affection. She’s a sweet girl.” His eyes caught mine. “I know you won’t believe this, but I do love you, Kelsey. I have passion for you.”
“Not enough.” I wouldn’t be the one Marcus died with.
“For it to work, the woman has to be a companion.”
Of course. It was funny how hollow I felt in that moment. Months before a woman I’d met had told me not to get too involved with any vampire because he would always want a companion. It was written into their DNA. “I’m never going to be a companion. I guess you’re smart to cut your losses.”
“Kelsey, this is going to be hard for you to understand, but there will come a time when the bond between us will break, and you’ll be the one to break it. You will wake up at some point and be strong enough on your own. You won’t want me the way you do now. What you feel now is a biological impulse. I’ve done this several times and each time my Hunter has left me. Every single time. Do you know who they left me for? A wolf. In the end, you’ll want a wolf. Trent knows it. It’s why he’s sniffing around you now.”
“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.”
“It’s true. Hugo married one of his Hunters, but ask him about the two who left him. At the end of the relationship they felt some affection for their trainer, but their passion always turns to wolves. I’m caught between a woman who will leave me and a child I can never want.”
I stood up. I’d heard enough. I couldn’t compete with some grand destiny. The rest was bullshit. I wasn’t about to give everything up for some random wolf. “Give it time, Vorenus. You’re right. You should go to Italy. Don’t come back until she’s twenty-five or so. I’m sure it will be different then.”
I walked to the bedroom to do what I should have done in the first place. I should have gone to bed. Falling onto the big bed I should have shared with my lover, I let myself cry. I tried to hold tight to my mental shields, but part of the training I’d so recently gone through was t
o let my emotion have its way. I wasn’t wolf enough to find a mate there. I wasn’t a companion, so no vampire would want me long term. As for the humans, I doubted I could keep one alive in my world. I was destined to be like my father—alone. The tears poured out and though I wanted to howl like my wolf brethren, I was silent. It didn’t matter. Marcus didn’t need to hear. He could feel my pain.
“Bella, don’t cry. Please.” He sat on the bed, his hand on my back. He tried to pull me up.
“Go away.” I pushed at him, not wanting him to see me like this. “Leave me alone, Marcus.”
He was insistent. He pulled me into his arms, his hand cradling my head to his chest. “I can’t. I can’t leave you. Nothing will ever happen with Evangeline. I won’t allow it to. I want you. I want to be with you. I’m sorry for before. I simply can’t stand the thought of losing someone so precious to me. Please forgive me.”
His hands pushed at my sweater, trying to get to my skin. He pulled it off me and tore at his clothes. He pressed his naked flesh to mine and we both sighed at the comfort it brought us. He said nothing further, simply let me cry until I couldn’t anymore. When I settled down, he stroked my hair.
“Can you forgive me, bella? I should not have threatened to leave. It was wrong of me.”
“You didn’t threaten, Marcus.” I thought about the plane ticket he’d had Lucia purchase. “You were going to leave.”
“I doubt it. I was already coming up with a thousand excuses to stay. If I wanted to leave, I could have left this evening. I was waiting for you, Kelsey. It was my own stubborn pride that kept me from returning to your uncle’s. I thought that I could force you to see things my way. I do not want you to go on this mission.”
“I have to.” The events of this evening had proven it beyond a shadow of a doubt.
“I know how you feel, but I wish you would listen to me. Abbas Hiberna is incredibly dangerous. He’s an elemental. There are only four elementals in all the world. Do you understand what that means? The stories say no one but another demon can kill an elemental. He won’t fear you, even when he realizes what you are. I’m scared for you, cara mia.”
“I’m scared for me, too. But I have to do this.” I was resolute. Even if it meant losing him, I was meeting Gray tomorrow.
Marcus settled down beside me. His hands traced the lines of my body, but there was more comfort in the caress than intent. “I will stand beside you. I will help in any way I can, but you must promise me one thing.”
I smiled in the darkness. “What’s that?”
“You’ll break your date with that werewolf.”
He sounded so serious I laughed. “I promise, though it wasn’t exactly a date. He offered to let me run with the pack.”
Marcus’s voice was tight and filled with cynicism. “Yes, I’m sure that was all he had planned. He can find his own mate. He should leave mine alone. Now, do you want to tell me why I smell blood on you?”
I did, actually. I snuggled close and told him about my night.
Chapter Seventeen
“You’re alone?”
Gray’s brother opened the door at six p.m. the following evening, but he stayed inside, well within the confines of the house.
I was a bit startled. I’d expected Gray, or perhaps his butler, Syl. I’d decided to be magnanimous on the way over and not punch the little shit demon butler in the nose. He’d fed me fertility drugs in an attempt to remake Rosemary’s Baby Texas style. I decided to let it go because I didn’t have time for retribution. Instead of Gray or Syl, I got Matthew.
“Was I supposed to bring a friend?”
Matthew sighed. “Oh, aren’t you a sarcastic one? You know sarcasm really is a low form of humor.” He finally stepped out on to the porch, his eyes searching the grounds. When he was satisfied I hadn’t brought along an escort, he nodded. “I simply wanted to make sure the king hadn’t sent along a spy. He’s a damn tricky fellow.”
I was actually starting to warm up to the king. I’d spent the early afternoon holed up with the king and the academics going over the game plan. I was to keep my mouth shut, gather as much intelligence as I could, and get back out of Jack Frost’s house alive. Jamie was already set up. Frost was in a McMansion in North Dallas. The grounds were extensive, but Jamie had some good equipment. Even from the park across the street, he could cover parts of the place. I wouldn’t be allowed to bring in weapons, but I was hopeful that if I needed it, my shiny new demon hand would make an appearance.
“Are you going to let me in or are we going to stand out here freezing all night?” My toes were already going numb because I’d been told I had to wear stupid sex shoes. Why couldn’t men find Uggs more attractive?
The demon stared out as though not completely convinced we were alone. After a moment he seemed to remember his manners. “Of course, love. Come along. We have to do something about your appearance.”
I followed Matt inside. I hadn’t been in Gray’s home for months, but I couldn’t tell that he’d changed anything. “What’s wrong with my appearance?”
I looked fine. I was sure of it because I totally hadn’t dressed myself or done my own hair and makeup. I’d gone to the experts. It made me long for the days when my job consisted of hanging around outside of strip clubs and roach motels trying to catch cheating spouses. No one gave a shit what I wore there. I’d also been able to drink beer on the job.
Liv had picked out the black cocktail dress from the closet of clothes Marcus had ordered for me. The queen and her bestie, a werewolf named Neil, had come down to help prepare me for my evening out with a duke of Hell and a captain of industry. The wolf was insistent that my hair needed help. I’d sat patiently as he painstakingly straightened it. He and the queen had been perfectly pleasant companions, but it was easier for them to talk to Liv than me. I didn’t know a lot about court gossip, and even less about kids. I stayed quiet and thought about the upcoming night. Though it hurt me to admit it, I thought about Gray.
Marcus was staying at my side, but I had to wonder for how long. He was looking for something I could never give him. Marcus might care deeply for me, but he would always long for that elusive woman who would complete his life. And yet, I couldn’t bring myself to let him go. I would have to eventually, but I needed him so badly now.
Marcus and I had an expiration date. I didn’t believe him about the whole “I would want a wolf one day” thing. I would be alone again.
“You look like you’re going to an elegant restaurant.” The demon eyed me critically. “You look quite the lady. I’m sure my brother will be thrilled. Unfortunately, you’re not going as my brother’s fiancée. You’re going as his love slave. This won’t do.”
I leaned forward, frowning at him the whole time. “I am not parading around Dallas again in a thong.”
“Of course not, darling. Little love slaves aren’t allowed to wear panties.” He smiled brightly as though I’d told a terrific joke. “Come along. I, of course, am prepared for the situation.”
I followed the demon through the hallway and toward the back bedroom. He stopped suddenly in the middle of the hall.
“Where have you been today?” The demon breathed deeply.
“Home,” I replied. The demon stood close and leaned over. He picked up a section of my hair and smelled it. “Stop that.”
He was insistent. He pulled my hand into his and brought it to his nose. I allowed the intimacy because this was something I worried about. If demons could smell vampire on me, I was in trouble. That first night at the club, I’d kept my distance from Winter. I wouldn’t be able to do that tonight. “I stayed away from Marcus. I took a long shower and then he didn’t touch me. He hasn’t even fed today. There’s no way you can smell him.”
The demon ran his nose along my hands and then back to my hair. “It’s not the vampire, love. Hush. I want to enjoy this. You spent time with a werewolf.”
He could smell Neil Roberts on me? “Damn it. Does that mean I have to shower again? Do
you have any idea how long it took to straighten my hair?”
I did not want to go through that again. If they shoved me in a shower for smelling too wolfie, they would have to deal with my waves.
“Dear, I wasn’t complaining. You smell delightful. It makes me wish we didn’t have to do what we have to do. My brother’s scent will overwhelm this sweetness in a heartbeat.”
Gray chose that moment to walk out of his den. He was dressed in cutoff sweat pants, track shoes, and nothing else. A fine sheen of sweat covered his utterly perfect body, and I had to stop myself from drooling. He’d obviously just gotten off his treadmill. Usually Gray liked to run outside. I was sure the snow on the ground made it hard. He pulled the earbuds out of his ears and smiled brightly. He looked even hotter than he had months ago. The military cut he’d had then made him look tougher, but there was something about the way his hair curled now that made me sigh.
“You look amazing, Kelsey.” My heart skipped a beat at the appreciative tone of his voice. I told myself I hadn’t dressed to impress him.
“She’s far too elegant.” Matthew frowned at his brother. “She has to change.”
Gray’s eyes were warm as they rolled over me. I didn’t like to think about the parts of me that were heating up. How did he do this to me? “Of course. She’s dressed all wrong for the mission. But she’s lovely and that should be acknowledged, brother.”
Matthew inclined his head. It seemed formal to me. I didn’t understand demon protocols. “I honor her, brother.”
“I thank you.” Gray’s face flushed when he turned back to me. “Come on, Kelsey. We need to get you ready. We don’t have much time before the limo picks us up. Did you drive?”
He reached for my hand. I held back. “I took a cab. And I thought I was ready. Gray, I’m not walking around naked.”