“I know you, Jen,” he gasped. “This isn't you.”
Jenny let go and backed away. She had to. It was hard to restrain herself. “You don't know shit. That Jenny died in that fucking filthy tunnel. Every hope she had was gone the second she set foot in that den of Righteous fucking thumpers.” She looked down at Sully. “That's not true, though, is it? The moment she really died was when she trusted you, you lying piece of shit.”
“Jen...”
“Don't act so fucking familiar, Sully,” she said. “I am a monster. We're all monsters here. So I'm going to want some truth coming out of those greasy lips of yours.” She pulled out her knife and rested the point on the middle of Sully's chest. He gritted his teeth. “Why?”
“Why what?” he said, narrowing his eyes. “Why did I tell you where to find your brother? The brother you've been crowing about ever since I met you?”
“I know you put him there,” said Jenny, her voice soft. “Why would you do that?”
“Because,” said Sully, raising his eyes to meet hers. “I needed you to die.”
“What?”
“Well, not just me,” said Sully. “Your mother asked me to.” Jenny tried to speak but the words wouldn't come out. Sully smiled. “The experiment never ended, Jenny. It's still happening. Right now. This. Just because you got out, doesn't mean any of it stopped.”
She had him by the throat before he could say another word. Sully turned red and it took Jenny a moment to realize that it wasn't him, it was her vision that was red. She had to control it. If she wanted to find her mother, to cure this horrible disease, she had to keep it together. It took everything she had to grind her teeth together so she wouldn't use them to rip the meat off Sully's bones.
“I'm going to kill you if you talk about her again,” Jenny growled. “I'm going to eat your fucking liver. Do you understand?”
“You won't,” said Sully, his voice high and weak. “You won't kill me, Jenny.” She could hear his heart beating so fast it sounded like one long heartbeat.
“Why's that?” she said.
“Because you want to find her,” he said. “And you'll do anything. Even keep me alive.”
“You're a liar,” she said. “You lied about having a daughter, too, didn't you?”
“Yeah,” said Sully. “But I'm your only link.”
“Link to what?”
“Your past. Your family's past. The reason you're not a rotter right now. Hell, the reason you're not dead right now.”
“How are you the link?” said Jenny. “I only met you a few years ago. You're just an Expo rat.”
“Let me go,” he said hoarsely. “Stop choking me and take a step back.”
“Why should I?”
“Because if you do, I'll tell you everything.”
TWENTY-TWO
“I was young when I went to work for her.”
Sully and Jenny were sitting on opposite sides of the room. The only way he would talk was if she stayed on her side. She sat in her chair, feet propped up on the wall, glaring at him.
“I'm supposed to believe you worked for my mother,” said Jenny. “Doctor Anna Hawkins. Really?”
Sully gave a humorless laugh that sounded like a cough. His face was grim. “I was a scientist back then,” he said. “Not as good as she was, but better than average. I was Anna's lab monkey.”
“Anna? First-name basis?” said Jenny. “I don't remember you.”
Sully nodded and shifted in his chair. “I wasn't allowed around the test subjects,” he said. “I made people uncomfortable. And when your grandfather came in, after everything started to go to hell, well, I was barely a person to that son of a bitch.”
“Why did he come?” said Jenny. “If he wasn't involved in the beginning, why did he step in on my mother's research? She was the top pathologist in the country.”
“Jen, you do know what happened, don't you?”
Jenny stiffened. “I know what they say happened.”
“They?”
She shrugged. “People. Everybody. They say she did it. She was contracted by the government to monitor the patterns of an inert virus. Harmless. For checking bioterror threats or some shit. They say she switched the harmless stuff for the plague. They say it's all because of her.”
Sully nodded. “That's what your grandfather thought. He thought Anna fucked up. I heard him say it.”
“He thought it was an accident?” said Jenny.
“You sound surprised.”
She shook her head. “I just always assumed it was him.”
Sully shrugged. “Maybe it was. He was a sadistic fuck. And he loved rubbing it in your mom's face.”
“Sadistic,” Jenny repeated. A memory of pain shot up her spine. It must have showed on her face because Sully frowned.
“Do you think she did it?” he said.
“I think she was weak,” said Jenny. “Maybe someone threatened her and she caved. I don't know.”
“You think Anna Hawkins was weak?” Sully said. He snorted.
“She didn't stop him,” said Jenny.
“What happened to your dad, Jen?”
“What?”
“Your father. What happened to him?”
“He skipped out on us,” said Jenny. “Everyone blamed my mom and then he left. He left Casey and me alone with her.” She sniffed. “Which is none of your fucking business.”
“I agree,” said Sully. “But that poor woman had no one to talk to. She was scared. Afraid for you and Casey, afraid for herself. And afraid for your father.”
“What are you talking about? Enough with the fucking theatrics. Just tell me.”
Sully sighed. “I don't know who it was, but I think your dear old granddad was working for them. Your mom didn't know who they were either. The only thing she knew was that they took your father. And if she didn't do exactly what they told her to, they were going to kill him.”
“You're lying,” said Jenny.
“When the test subjects didn't work out, it was too late to find new ones,” Sully continued. “Scientists were forced to use their own kids. Even your mother. The army was given the green light to do what they had to do if anyone resisted. The researchers were told the children wouldn't be harmed. But your mom knew better. It was everyone's last shot at curing the plague. At first she put you and Casey in the placebo group. But when your grandfather came, there wasn't a placebo group. He gave Casey the real thing, and he did...other things to you.”
“I'm kind of familiar with that part,” said Jenny.
“But you might not be familiar with what came next,” said Sully. “She said no. She said she'd rather die, she'd rather all of you die, than to continue doing what she was doing. And that's when you started attending your special night sessions.”
Jenny stared at him. “I was the punishment?”
“From what I can tell.”
“Jesus,” said Jenny. “I feel sick.” A memory flashed through her mind. She had cried to her mother. Screamed. Begged. Jenny's mother had tears running down her face. She tried to talk with Jenny, but the old bastard showed up and ushered her away from her daughter. Jenny heard her screaming as Frank forced her down the hall. Jenny had forgotten. How could she have forgotten such a thing? She had blocked it out.
“Where is she?” Jenny said. All the hunger and rage and ice in her body left her, at least for now. She suddenly felt wrung-out. It was as if those feelings had been filling her up, and now that they were gone she was shriveled and boneless, without form, like an empty snakeskin. “Sully, where is my mom?”
“I don't know, kid.”
“Motherfucker.”
“Honestly, I don't know. The messages come through others. People come to me and tell me what to do. And I do them. God help me, I do them all.”
Jenny narrowed her eyes. She knew she couldn't trust Sully, who was studying her with small, twitchy eyes. Something wasn't quite right with him.
“How do you know the messages are from her?�
�� Jenny said.
“I don't,” said Sully. “I have no fucking idea. But I have to trust in something. And the thought that your mom is alive and still trying...that gives me hope.”
“That's where you're wrong,” said Jenny, and her voice sounded like ice. “You can't trust in anything anymore, Sully.”
“You should have remembered that,” he said. “But here you are.”
“Fuck you. You did this. Don't put it on me.”
“I told you where your brother was. I told you it was dangerous. But you were the one that went.”
“And you put Casey there with a lie.”
“It was for the best,” said Sully.
“The fucking best?”
“They said you were it, Jen. They said to save the world, you had to die one more time. And there was no way around it.”
“One more time?”
“I'm tired.”
“No, you son of a bitch. You tell me what the hell you're talking about.”
“You don't really think you survived those experiments, do you?”
TWENTY-THREE
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Casey said.
“I'm just telling you what he told me,” said Jenny. “He said I died in those experiments. More than once.”
“That's crazy,” said Grayson. “How is that even possible?”
“Something Bierce did to me,” said Jenny. “I don't know if it's true. I don't know if anything he says is true. But I do believe one thing. Guy's a scientist.”
“So?” said Fisher.
“So he can help us,” said Casey.
“That's what I was thinking,” said Jenny. “We have no idea what we're doing, and all this book research is getting you nowhere. We can watch him and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid, but he can help us figure this out. Sully has to want to stop all this. Everyone wants it to stop. Everyone wants the rotters gone. Besides, he's too terrified of Declan to go back to Expo right now.”
“Jenny, we can't kidnap the living and force them to work for us,” said Fisher. “Besides, most of us can't handle having Sully around all the time. This is our place. We don't have to fight the cravings. It makes no sense to bring a living in.”
“We have no idea what we're doing,” said Jenny. “Do you mean to tell me you can't control yourself long enough for him to look at some blood under a microscope? I'm the first to admit that Sully's a dick and a liar, but he knows what he's doing. And this is his thing. This is what he did when he worked for my mom.”
Grayson pursed his lips and looked at Casey. Fisher looked away.
“I say it's worth a shot,” said Casey.
“Yeah, okay,” said Grayson. “Whatever.”
“This is a bad idea,” said Fisher.
“What the hell do we have to lose?” said Jenny.
Fisher shrugged, his face still tense. “Okay, Jenny. Let's save the world. With an untrustworthy douche who's already gotten you killed.”
“Could've done without that last part, dude,” said Casey.
“Where's Trix?” said Jenny.
The other three exchanged dark looks. “Out with Abel,” Grayson said.
“Should we be worried?” said Jenny.
“Yeah,” said Grayson. “That guy is shady. Why did you guys bring him here?”
“He's one of us,” said Casey. “We don't need a reason other than that.”
“Well, if you want to keep creepy scientist guy here, you should watch out for Abel,” said Fisher. “I get a bad feeling about him.”
“Maybe he has a point,” said Jenny. “Maybe it is the natural order.”
“You say that like hunkering down in a busted-up museum eating live goats isn't satisfying you on a spiritual level,” Grayson said.
“It's what I always dreamed it would be,” said Jenny.
“I can't do this,” said Sully, looking around. “This shit is old.”
“What the fuck do you expect?” said Jenny. “It's the zombie apocalypse.”
Sully shook his head. “We can't even power this place up. I need light. Lots of light. I need to fire up the equipment.”
“Fisher's working on power,” said Jenny. “He's been working on it all night.”
“What do you mean?”
“They had solar in here in the end,” said Jenny. “They took the panels down in the end so no one would steal them.”
“So you're hooking up solar panels?” said Sully, looking impressed. “Will it work?”
There was a whirring sound and a light above them flickered to life. It was weak at first, but after a moment of quiet buzzing, the light bulb blazed with light. Several lights under the microscopes glowed.
“Yes, it will work,” said Jenny. “Now compare the samples and tell me what you see.”
“Like what, for instance?”
“I want to know how we are different from the rotters, and how we're different from the living. Look, Sully. This could mean a cure. My mom said we were the cure. We have to try.”
“She said you were the cure?” said Sully. “When?”
“There was a note,” said Jenny. “The point is we all want this bullshit to end. And as much as I don't trust you, we need to help each other.”
“What about the others?” said Sully. “Can you guarantee one of your friends isn't going to chew on my face?”
“You'll be safe,” said Jenny. But even as she said it she could feel the clutch in her chest, the red around the edges of her vision. Her hands were shaking and she held them behind her back. “What do you need?”
Sully looked around. There were a dozen or so microscopes in various states of repair. The room had a thick layer of dirt on everything. Jenny couldn't even tell what color the counters were because they were so covered in dust and dirt. Plants were sprouting between cracks in the floor and vines weaved through a broken window. The light shining from above made it look like some kind of greenhouse experiment.
“Centrifuge,” said Sully. “I'll need a centrifuge.”
“Do you know where one is?”
“No,” he said. “But I'm sure you can figure it out. I'll need alcohol or vinegar or other disinfectant.”
“We have water,” said Jenny.
Sully sighed. “I guess that'll have to do. Eyedroppers?”
“We have those,” said Jenny, recalling some of the supplies she'd seen in the basement. “I can bring a bunch of equipment up. Slides and whatnot.”
“Fine,” said Sully. “I'll need syringes.”
“No.”
“I need to be able to draw the blood,” said Sully.
“We'll do that,” said Jenny.
“Whatever. Just get the centrifuge.”
“Why do you need a centrifuge?”
“To study the blood,” said Sully. “I'm no pathologist, and I'm not as good as your mom, but I do know a thing or two about research. I'll take a look and see if I can figure something out.”
“Can you teach us to do it?” said Jenny.
“Why?”
“We can't protect you from Declan forever, Sully,” said Jenny. He stiffened, staring at her. “You must have realized he wouldn't be happy with you for organizing my death.”
“It crossed my mind a time or two,” he mumbled. He looked at her. “I thought you wanted to kill me.”
“I did,” she said. “I do. But, I can't. If I kill you, where do I draw the line? But I won't stop Declan from killing you.”
“Understood,” he said. “I'm so sorry, Jen. You don't know how it tears me up inside. Knowing what I did. I'll help you. Of course I will.”
“I'm not forgiving you, Sully.”
He nodded. “You have good reasons for that.”
“Someone will be watching you,” she said.
“Someone like you?” he said.
“Not me,” said Jenny. “I have centrifuges to fetch. Just get this place cleaned up and we can get started.” She turned to leave.
“Jen?” said Sull
y.
“What?” she said, her voice harsh.
“I'm sorry,” he said. “I know you had a pretty good life. Considering. Sorry it turned out the way it did.”
“I had everything,” said Jenny. “And you took it away.”
“You might want to consider the fact that you never really had any of it in the first place. It was always borrowed time for you, cupcake.”
Jenny barely felt the few steps she took to close the distance. Sully's eyes bugged when she punched him. In moments he was laid out on the floor clutching his nose, which was bleeding all over the place.
“You might want to clean that blood up,” said Jenny. “You know, because of science.”
She resisted licking the blood off her knuckles as she left.
TWENTY-FOUR
“This is a bad idea,” said Casey.
“You think everything is a bad idea,” said Jenny. She tapped the fuel gauge, trying to get it to rise off Empty.
“Did you ever consider that you are full of bad ideas?” he said.
“If you don't want to come, you don't have to,” said Jenny. “Grayson and Fisher are watching Sully, Trix and the new guy are who-knows-where doing God-knows-what. I can do this on my own. You don't have to come.”
“If I don't come, who's going to be your moral compass?” he said.
Jenny smiled, then let it fade. “You know, I used to think I was a good person. I mean, no one's really good any more. Everyone's sinned in one way or another. But I tried to be good. I tried to be kind. And now look at me.”
“You're still good, Jen,” said Casey. “You're just overwhelmed. It'll pass. The hunger gets more...manageable, I guess. You won't be pissed off all the time after a while. The cravings never really go away, but it's like when you quit smoking, you know? You always want one, but it gets easier to not drive to the store and buy a pack of smokes.”
“Smokes aren't as easy to get any more,” said Jenny.
“You know what I mean.”
“I can't imagine not being angry,” said Jenny, her voice quiet. “I think I'll always be like this. After everything that happened, all that I lost...”
Jenny Undead (The Thirteen: Book One) Page 13