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by Matt McIntosh


  Q X S 0 1 V C g A D 0 w a t O l v P Z / 2 v L M c v k q B k 5 U 4 E h I / i w C C G P y x q v j S 6 u 7 d r a A f Z o M B d q n s O 2 e t P k 5 j W F 4 x s z A N 1 + 8 P Q D v S G d i + e B 9 B V n w 3 P B a 6 x b z X d u L m 2 V 9 s q b c 5 U j B / H n P 4 V 6 R 4 o 8 D 6 V q E 0 T a V d W 5 l l j L o s T D b j O B u A 6 H r + X P S t 0 R Y v f B D w O d d v x q O q w f 8 S x E Z Y y / C u 5 O A f o M n 8 q + I t R s d e 8 E T e B v C f h 5 r q 1 j s 4 l u 9 Q v S q w l F Z E 2 5 H I B K q j 8 E g k Y U / N j 5 w 8 C i w 0 Z 7 e O S 3 m e N U W P a b h 2 j A H c R s S n r / A A 1 6 r e + N Z v h V d 6 d q W l 3 8 T 2 8 v 7 k R X Z + Z p J G l d 0 c K D + 7 C O q B c o V X a F G O a 3 p b S u a x g 2 r I 5 G X 9 k b x S z Y O q 6 Q M E c + X J 0 / I e 1 Q T / s h e J Z F I b W N L Y n H / L K T B 5 / w r 6 + i Y z R I 6 A M j D 7 w b P U c c 9 6 q a n e R 2 F j c 3 E i M Y 7 e N p W C 9 S F B J / l X n K c i U r n n 3 w Y + H l z 8 N v B U e j 3 k 0 N z J H O 8 n m w Z A O 4 j 1 / 2 u 3 6 + n c Q 2 z X c R e J R K m / Z u Q g g M H K 4 6 / w B 4 E f U E V y O g 6 / e + I t F u b j 7 X a N e z o d u Q n l x o S V Z Q v z E D G 7 q C c 4 z u H B 6 r w F 4 a Z 7 t 7 j U D p e r 7 / A N 2 b m K z j V 2 X a m N 2 B z l l J 6 n q O g W t Y 0 X U 1 f U l 1 F F E a W 4 v C y x O j Y I V 2 L g C M 8 4 D E n C k 4 O M 4 6 H 0 N e E / t E e C f E H i f x D 4 X s t I t I N Q F r 5 8 s q x 3 1 s G i L q v U N I C c r H n g H p X p P j / w C K H 9 i e O J N L t b K C y S 3 g + z R q B w j F 5 N u 7 K l S N q q 6 4 H H m u P m z m r n w + M k P i S a 1 F 5 c C 0 M S O F k c w i V 8 7 x t T g d A Q Q v y 4 H 5 0 q K h P l v q W 3 7 t 2 f M V h 4 R 8 S e F 9 D b T 7 6 N r C + t 1 K y r G 8 b u q D E 7 1 C H J U 9 e x 4 7 8 1 u e f + E p Y X k F q b m a 5 E Y k Q m N M g 5 P B C H n I H 1 / L n q v j b n w z 4 4 m F 8 t t D F L a x z y e S W E a 5 B B I 3 c g Z B r m v h V 8 Z a f Z 2 7 w X 8 b w p d e Y Y 3 h c c x y L 1 6 M A c d D 3 9 a q M P e t I 6 I y t Z p n 0 X + z d 8 Z 9 f n n j j 1 e 2 S S W N j D E b a z m W V S A S Q 3 V c E L j J I z k Y z 0 P 1 0 v x b 0 T R N S u L S 4 m E u y 1 i u p P L k X K b g 4 C q D g n / V H l i N x 6 d M V 8 y / s / e P r T 7 D L O A 6 z y L + / j U 7 h K x U K z c g 4 J w v Q j O M 4 N c r 8 X v j P a v 8 R / 7 E 0 a O W L V r C 0 g l v 2 t z h 1 H D w B F 5 C q g u C x f v 5 z B s C P n s q U 3 W o W 1 k 7 f 1 9 x K j F P 3 + p 9 0 e G f i P o 3 i k T f Y 5 J B 5 T b P m A b e c / w F C w b t 0 6 b l z 1 G e l E q F C 6 s H U d 0 + b P 0 x 1 r 5 c 8 A + L t L 7 X b j 7 A f l E a R Q O z y Z + R V w c s H Z i d q E N n c o 2 l s g e 1 / F r 4 g R e A P h / f a r b P F L c b V j t V M n J Z i Q r A D 7 3 Q n H f B 5 r x 4 q c V Y y c Y N r l Z 3 Q Y E 4 B B N L X L / a M v 7 u x 0 / 8 A t I W 6 e S H k u n Q / K 4 E T Y Q Z G S N x U j H z f J 3 z i v Y 7 D x r p 9 z O b j 7 U f L l l i t U i b I c M 7 K E J X s S 0 y r g A n l C e O k y r q C v J D d J W c r + n 3 / A N M / n W m v D O 7 b w c 4 9 c 1 V n 6 F g P x 9 a k W J Z F O A 4 b H 8 J z S r E X D E n P O T 6 Z 9 T 6 V 3 E b o m 8 P 3 X l X h Q 5 x K M K P V h y P 6 / n X e f 2 l B b W v m y 7 I J A u d w B 3 L j 2 F e a S M 8 M h + U A j o R k f j X Q 6 l 4 1 a 8 0 E 2 n 2 f y r u T 5 J J k 4 U r x z 9 T 0 P + Q K V i F d H b 6 D 8 a o N K v I 2 k s 5 b 5 Y y C C p C b v z z i t L 4 i f F + 7 + I t 1 p S / 2 a m l 2 d n 5 0 0 a B S H n m l K B n c 9 G 4 j j A 4 y A D z z g e M W k G + Y Z y Q B u I r V 0 + Y 2 i 5 U H z O u f f 1 / L + d C d l Y 1 i 3 / 4 t 0 / 4 e W k l 3 q T v b C x h Z r m C Z s q J M 4 x g c k 4 A 4 X k 1 4 L p v x C v v E n x R 1 b x L L P L u v r

  into the lifeless earth

  n B 5 b O 1 T k Y w f k / w A O S J a X S K h L b e c m v W w l F 4 f E x 1 + F 3 + f Y x l U 9 r C 5 6 P o H x t 8 V 2 N / q M 3 / C V 6 m 8 s V 2 k F v J N e y n r L k 8 5 3 Y 2 q e B g 9 O m K 9 W 0 f 4 + 6 l 8 V 7 K 2 0 b x Z q 1 x f W m l N K 2 n R T s A + w k Z U y I m 9 z h F w z 7 y M d C O K + R o 9 U M c G o p y T J O r D t 3 P P 6 1 2 f w s 8 R 7 f F d p Z y R 4 j K H L D t g E 4 / E c V 1 x r U K 1 S N K o k 4 t 9 f N t L X d a M q S c f f j u j 9 C 9 D 8 U + G 9 O 8 D W 7 v q N r 5 m o R D 7 P E i o k v l A 4 2 S D B A m T O X A A 5 9 L v L m y h L y 3 s Q Q w q Z 5 f M D 7 S G C 7 i r B V z G A Q F x h 3 G M k 5 + M v h 7 8 T J G t t b 8 P K 0 k s M U j X U E H l e Y D k b J C C T 8 n y h S x G c i P n O K 7 P w R 4 v a 1 1 9 d + r z W F v K j Q w J v k U R k n L H g M q 5 O 0 k k q M k c n i v k c Z g 6 e F q y j H W L v Z / P Z + a / w A n 1 O x U k d + Q A B g D P X j / A D 1 r 1 W L T Y o 7 6 W W F T G V Z T V 1 p 5 H w D b 4 L n K s T 6 r 1 q 5 N C G g a 4 h Y s 8 f L Z H U e 9 Z 6 o y s N r j H 5 1 r 2 M 7 t l Z A h y M Z B B y P e s U i 0 j J v Y 1 Y I U B 9 D n t U V v A J D t f I K m r W p L 5 F 0 E G A o A I w c 8 d q Q R E g u u C M 5 O C K C b C 2 o 2 + e W O M 8 f n T S 0 E c U D F 9 q B z t B J / d 2 + f 5 D g 1 E P i J l u v N / o z 5 1 8 P Q T 3 3 i C 1 t b G A z 3 F w k S x R K V 6 7 B n n O P X r 0 / C v r 7 9 m R d R + E 2 r a u 9 t e r 9 u 1 W N Y G k i h V x B j Y f l Z i Q S f L H J U 9 T g d 6 + c 4 p P 3 j E 8 D I G R U M 7 i G E L k f M c n F M g f c R 9 e v r Q U j d t 7 7 7 N H k H J U E 4 / D / G v d / A d n p e k + B 9 G 1 M x y 3 m o T N I b g D O y A 7 2 V e c h f u 8 5 J x l v U V 8 8 x Z d S g H B X G c d a 9 C T x 8 P D 3 h z T r C e x a 4 b / X O u 4 Y B J O 0 5 w f m w M 8 g g e / N R y u V k g b t q d T 8 Y P E n l L a e R d y C a 5 g H y R z s V V R u G 4 K Q C N w Y j k 8 8 j G A C f I A 2 4 I d / Q 4 5 H v U m s e I L n x H f T 3 1 w + 6 V z n H Z V 7 K P Y D u e L X h w h K t r L Y b z S N B B t d + E 9 t e 5 J P N V L f k o C e j d O K 9 G n D l i c 1 7 s 0 o O Z G O T n t x 1 r b 0 H Q r n W t Q t 7 S 2 R 5 Z 5 3 W O N E H z M x O A B 7 n p W N a M A 5 P f P B x X 0 v + x n 8 L Z / i R 8 W N M S N f 3 F g h 1 C a Z 0 3 I u x l 2 5 P b 5 m B A 7 7 S M j 7 w 9 L D U V V l Z m F S o q c X J n 2 x 8 J f h 1 a e D I f B s k 1 h 5 + k 3 F r B Y S T N j a c g K r E E Y 3 K / H T o W I 6 V 7 H 4 n i 0 r w + J 9 P g i W K Z T u A U Y 6 r k E Y 9 8 1 P 4 m 0 k w a F a Q W C j y L Q K v l q c c D o Q f z r m P H + s x 3 9 6 0 w J D 7 M F i c Y / H / P S v W o y l h U 5 x e i X 3 u / + S v 8 A M 8 O C e J n G b / r + k f H / A O 3 H r 8 D + F d K 0 S O c / b r i 9 + 1 N C M c R I r D n 6 s y 4 9 c H 0 r 4 3 0 v d F e T S F + F G P Y 1 6 3 + 0 l 4 1 h 1 f 4 r 6 y J L g 3 M N l t s 4 Q R j Y E H z r 7 / O X P 4 1 5 G u o Q z C c p h B j k Y r O j C D a m 3 q 3 c 9 l X S s c 3 b y 7 Z b t C d o P O c + h z / S t r w H f i 1 1 G e 8 3 7 C I 5 A D 7 l S P 6 1 z b z D z L t 8 7 c k / r V j T b k Q 2 T l X A 5 x j P B r y 6 b V O q p d m 3 9 2 x 0 N a M 6 z w 9 r 8 u n e J I 7 8 A S l W G + M q G V 1 / i U g 9 Q e e v r X u P g L T 3 l j H 2 a 2 g 1 B b s t H E Z J w J n B 4 2 M 2 z 7 2 0 j c A u O u A R g n 5 k l 1 e Z S y W 5 w + O S D 0 + t d Z 4 H 8 Y e I t G 1 E f Y k n u 1 P D w G M y q w P H K 4 I / / X W F R w r R c Z b 3 u n / X c q N 4 6 n k K v C / L J u 9 e a 0 r C a 2 2 n K I r A 8 5 T d x W J b q 7 B g N x 2 j n H Y Z q x E + F I 3 f N 9 K 8 g 3 T N i a G 1 v p M u Z E w o J I w M j 8 u D U l r p 9 r E i K 7 S f d y w 3 d 6 z V n b d 9 7 r 3 N T R y M W 4 Y n A x w O 1 B S a L 8 l r a r H K y R D d t B U n 5 s Y 7 8 1 S v X j E c c y R q m 8 c h Q M b u / w D j + N T Q x 3 c k y p B E 8 j n + B V y T 6 1 o N 4 K 1 q / i d f s / 2 V 0 5 C T 5 Q t n 0 / L 9 a a d i Z N W s d H 8 B / B V h 8 U v i b o / h n U Z J 7 e z v R N v l t p F V 0 8 u C S U Y 3 K Q c l A M Y / i r 3 3 4 s / s h 3 l j o + m W f g 2 x f W C l w 5 u L m 6 u I l u X 3 q o H Z F 8 s 3 X w M k g v w M b i f m n 4 X e M J v h T 4 8 t N Z u 7 G W a e 0 D B F V y j R F l K l h 6 8 F h g 8 c 9 + l f X f h / 9 t X w 5 q p S C 9 s 7 + z K + W w l k T d u 5 G 5 f k 5 O Q C C B t y C M H u O 2 j K k o + / u Q t U 0 f H n i 3 w f q 3 g f V m s t X 0 + 5 0 6 f k G O 5 h a M l c l c g E c q S p w R w c H B r L j k A l U k d e 1 f c v i b x z Z e O t F v L W 1 s B 4 r s o n D p L b a f F P P D I e h l s X J E x 5 U / u 1 D H n 7 o z n 4 j 1 7 T L b S v E F 1 p 9 j c 3 d 3 b 2 z + S J r 6 0 + y z F h w 2 6 L e + 3 D B s A t n A B I B J A 2 b X 2 d i Z R 5 S 1 p r b 5 B k Y U c 9 O t f p N + w F p o 8 L + D L n V h G x u 9 V u M g q p O 6 O M F V + n z N J + B H W v z e 0 O z k 1 C + h t 4 d z O 7 g A A c n J r 9 T f 2 e f B 1 z o H g u w s L s m B U g V f s q X C I C e p Y l c M D u z / E R X t Y B 8 i l K x 5 u J s 1 Z n 0 R q e v b b H D z I g 2 5 2 v w c 9 e 5 z X m O v a p C R K z X E S l / u g O P X / 9 V d d Z + C L a + i d l i B d f 4 p J m m P p w S S e v 8 q 4 7 4 2 + H v + E K + G / i X W Y 7 W G V r C w n n T z o 8 L u W F 2 A I 5 J 5 A 7 9 + 2 K 3 x M Z V E 7 L R a n L Q l C H u p 6 s / J v x / r v 9 u + M d b 1 H K j 7 Z e y 3 J M Z G P m d m O P z r K s 7 p Y I 5 C 2 d j u E P P O D y f 0 B o u I g X k Y u 0 m T z j v V S 4 V l a 3 h i y 5 Z i + 0 D J J 6 D + d e X F O H v P p / w x
6 u + g y 7 1 A t 5 s Z 4 M Z K s r 9 y M 0 m k a c l 2 h l u b q P T 7 X O N 7 / M x H q q D k / j g e 9 S D w 3 q m u 6 1 9 l s L O 4 v L p k 3 m G K M l g B 1 J H Y d M n 3 r u / D X w J 1 G 8 b z t b P 2 d u n k F w p H 1 P 9 B X D X q p S 1 N o w c l o Y 2 g a l 4 N 0 S C P 7 Z p V 7 q t w A d 8 5 u g i M e z B A u R 9 N x + p 6 1 v W P i P w P q c 5 t Z N M v N G W Q Z S 9 t J z K V 6 4 V o 2 w C M 7 c 8 5 F d H e / C X Q N F s 3 a U o + 7 5 A w b l T 6 g n P 6 / r X n n i j Q d N t d Q R L G U u x k A K r w Q e w x n 1 4 q I Y y X w q K + 4 J U u X V s i 8 C e H r W 0 8 N N c y l J J r 1 G a V G 6 B A S A P 5 / 5 F Y e v + B 1 s r p f J u o 4 o 5 Z T F s k z 8 j A n I 9 f l A O f p W Z N 4 p v b B N L T T r 5 k a G B q u k y l D L D K H i Y 4 Y s B m K V G y C F P J I 4 6 H p X o v N c P O D U o u 9 v L / M 4 o 4 G a q K b a 0 9 f 8 j 5 Q K r x D Y x f j P 8 A O q 0 N 2 y g h h m l k m H U D i h I V z R W U u p D Y x 9 a w 7 z / W M O M C t O 1 Z J E x j n H e s + + j K F v k B G a B v Y b p 0 3 l z d M i r m q g s o Y D i s 2 2 k 2 M O K 0 7 y X d Y 5 I w B j G K a 0 I 3 R i l m U M D 0 F Q E n m p m + c H 5 R V Q y h M 5 X i q a V j m L C N t H W p 4 H H J 6 V R 3 A r m r M B 7 Y A p I D 0 3 9 n 7 V T o / w A W t I u F J T c D E X Q c / M w G K / T y W z Z Z G e H G D 0 A 6 j 8 K / L P 4 P q 7 e O 9 I E R + d Z 0 Y / Q O M 1 + o 0 W o + Z c S S w / I W O T 2 z X s 4 G M Z Q k m L X o Z V 5 a y t I w Q 7 p W 5 Y t x n 6 1 y H j n 4 T 6 Z 4 + 0 l t P 1 W 3 Q m Q h 0 n U b m Q j p j 8 a 9 D u I x P I 0 h H l 7 j k h e a d J B 9 n j N w B m P O 3 A 9 6 6 / Z p m s L t a n w x 4 w / Z g 8 W a H q s 8 e l x w 6 n p k R K i 4 m l C y t 6 H a B X n n i L w F r P h k j 7 d p l x z y D b x N I P z A r 9 I D b h 3 Y w k 8 j 7 v 8 A h V d v 7 O E L W 1 9 b e Y G G N u 0 k C s r O L s 0 J 0 o v Z n 5 g 3 N o k i 5 k z G e y S j a 3 4 g 1 h 3 9 g 0 S s e o r 9 C f H H 7 P 8 A 4 D 8 T J L J / Z 0 U F 1 N z 9 p E f 7 x W 9 R k 1 8 8 e P 8 A 9 k / x J 4 Z t Z L z S J h r m m q p d 3 m d R K M Z 4 C q O e K U u S o m n o Q 6 U o + Z 8 y u z B h j g V b B P l A j r V v U t J m h a S R 7 S e 1 V T g i 4 i M f P 4 1 m p K c 7 c f j X D y 8 j s S i Z C T k Z I p 7 L s Q g H k 0 K w V D j i o n 6 n t V N a A S W 5 I b P A q 4 T n k A Z H f N Z 8 T n J 9 K t r K H X b t x i l H U C U F u 6 j J 7 5 p o 3 k 7 S B j 1 z S f N g d g P S r M c Y k X n i r F c u W g E Y B H 4 1 p W U u 5 z j F Z i K F j x 2 q 7 Y 7 U k G R x X b L j D Q S S h y A M 8 g 5 r 1 3 4 V f s z 6 / 8 A E U y 6 j b a w + i X P l j y E g 3 C Y c 8 E G O T k 8 0 K v y d a d H g K S w y B x U r R D E B L H B A 4 7 1 Z U N G F P G C M j B q J R j 7 w G O 1 O 2 n I O e g x i g E N 1 6 g f p R 4 k 0 j w l q l t D F D 4 d t N 6 r Z L M Z Q F H Y E c U y f w r J G h v p A x a b 5 i 2 P m P 1 F U r H U I 7 T z I Z 7 N Z l Y 5 B b O R T v f Y l I m t t V l L s q S u 0 X d W 4 p 8 k F v O C 6 o B J n P 4 1 M 8 M Q h + 0 Q x c H s B U M E T S B p A N o H W o v 2 K t 1 N m 0 R J r N X b 5 5 e 4 N Y + s a b J e x v s / d u p + U j v W n p L J 9 P 1 G V 9 K U s r l U c N l Q u 7 O Z v q O e e 8 o h V i e M 1 Y k R S h I 7 9 a E J X R x 8 t l c 2 l t C 0 5 V X Z d x C t k C r e m a m V T a r j P o D x W j c 2 g u y B j I A 2 m s K 8 0 s a Q + 9 P 8 A V X C w L x n P I 9 + f 0 F F F Z 8 i u H M y 7 B 8 S v E L x B B p l u Y l I I M k C j 9 c 1 2 X g + T x Z 4 1 m S G x V I 7 A 9 6 5 p Y W a V 4 N L K z i X K / M k H 6 0 r P q S O R c h l B 7 8 i l A + n p T X c o / / 9 k = - - _ _ CONTENT_ 6 4 5 6 4 _ PART_BOUNDARY__3 3 2 4 3 2 4 2 _ _ - -

  But who are we to recreate mankind?

  ACT II

  REAL

  HUMAN

  BODIES

  CHAPTER THREE

  The logo. The logos. The word. The bird. The spirit. The beginning. The end. The serpent. The head. The tail. The mouth. The hole. The tower. The train. The platform. The platform? Simple mathematics.

  “I appreciate the ride,” I said.

  “No problemo,” Charles said. “You’re on a quest. And I want to help. Unfortunately I’ve got another appointment. There’s a burst sewer line underneath a Motel 6 and it’s been emptying raw sewage under the building for weeks. It’s going to be my business to crawl underneath the building through shit up to my chin, and fix that pipe.”

  “I don’t know why, but there strikes me as something very Christlike about that, Charles,” I said, handing him the new joint.

  He took it out of my fingers, keeping his eyes on the road.

  “I think so too,” he said. “When I’m down there I often think about what Christ would do if he were here today. What he would be doing for a living, for example. He probably wouldn’t be a carpenter. There aren’t many actual carpenters these days and I don’t see him working on an assembly line.” He took a toke. “I suppose he could have been a finish carpenter, working on high-end homes. Like those new ones they’re building out on Priest Lake? Criminy. Who needs a house that big?”

  “Do you think he’s really going to come back?” I asked. “Are you one of those people who take all that literally?”

  He thought about it. “Well, I guess I would have to say yes and no. Yes, I really think he’s coming back in bodily form, in power and glory and everything else. And no, not literally.”

  The sky was blue and clear. It was hot and we had the windows of the van rolled down. The wind blew in and cooled us, but it also swirled around and brought the stink from the back up to the front.

  Why can I remember Christ but not myself? I thought.

  “Stinks, huh?” said Charles, handing me back the joint.

  “I don’t know how you do it all day.”

  “My wife won’t touch me after work until I take a shower. Although she won’t really touch me then either.”

  “I didn’t know you were married.”

  “Yep. To a real psycho bitch.”

  “Bummer.”

  “I shouldn’t talk about her that way. Let’s just say she’s not an optimist like me.”

  “I wonder if I’m an optimist.”

  We stopped and started down a highway lined with old strip malls and new big-box stores. Fast-food restaurants and chain motels. Mattress Village, Mattress Kingdom, Mattress World.

  “What’s the name of this two-bit burg?” I asked.

  “Spokane.”

  “Spokane, Washington?”

  “Yep.”

  “I live in Spokane, Washington?”

  “Looks that way.”

  “My god, it’s worse than I thought.”

  The drive-thrus and traffic lights receded. We headed out of town.

  “Sorry I can’t give you a ride back,” Charles said.

  “No worries. I’ll find a way back.”

  While Charles had gone downstairs to finish up my drain, I had run next door to Gladys’s house to find out Vel’s last name and the name of the hospital where they were keeping her. Her dog had come running at me snarling like he was guarding the gates of hell, but I managed just in time to leap onto her porch where his leash wouldn’t reach.

  “Gladys, I’ve decided to go visit Vel in the mental hospital.”

  She had seemed confused by this.

  “You seem confused.”

  “I didn’t know you were friendly with Vel, that’s all. After what she did with the hose and everything. And saying you stole her windows.”

  “Yes, well, forgive and forget, that’s my motto.”

  Did I actually say that? Or do I only think I said that because of what Charles would later say about optimism? Where does any of this begin? And where does it end? I’d like to know. I have memory of doing these things. I remember running next door to Gladys’s house. I remember the dog coming at me, its teeth bared, snarling. I remember jumping onto the porch. I remember standing there, talking to Gladys through her screen door. Eva said: You can’t believe anything I said last night. I told you. It wasn’t me. I was enchanted. Forgive and forget. What is themystery.doc?

  “Do you remember,” said Gladys, speaking in a hushed voice, “when your little nieces were over and Eva and them made those little apple tartlets?”

  “No, I don’t remember that, Gladys.”

  “Well, those cute little girls brought them over h
ere in a little basket and—oh, they were so proud—and they gave one to me, and I thanked them and I made a real big fuss about it and told them how delicious they looked, and then they took one over to Vel.”

  “That was very generous of them.”

  “Yes, but afterwards she went around telling everyone that Eva poisoned her.”

  “Really,” I said. “Do you think Eva would do that?”

  “Of course not! I just wanted you to know what Vel has been saying. She was also telling people that you made a pass at her.”

  “Really! How old is Vel?”

  “Gosh, I don’t know. She must be at least eighty-five.”

  “Well, then I very much doubt that I made a pass at her, but I appreciate you telling me about the rumor. Incidentally…” I lowered my voice. “I don’t suppose I ever told you that I… discovered or…un-covered… something… did I?”

  “Like what?” she said.

  Maybe I did something. Or found something. Or learned something. Or in one way or another got into hot water. The possibilities are endless. A world in which you have no history is a world of utter possibility. Possibility is converted to fear in the brain. Fear to hostility. The unknown, that what-might-be, takes form as a dark, brutish monster rather than a lamb or a bunny or a sunny piece of isolated beach on which a girl in a black-and-white two-piece sits with her arms around her knees waiting for you. That’s possible, I suppose, but improbable. What’s more probable is that the possible will turn into something that will rise against you to smite you, and strike you in the face. Or run you over in a green minivan. Or send their goons to your house to give you a roughing up, or send the man with the gun to put you in the grave. I was beginning to be afraid. Olive the cat was a clue. I had put her in a Bed Bath & BEYOND bag. And there in my trash can she lay.

 

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