theMystery.doc

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by Matt McIntosh


  Willard J Domacyle:Your last comments put me ill-at-ease, Michele. The voice of the Interface must always remain consistent, so that the user or “visitor” is never aware that they are being delivered scripts. For example, I asked you a question. Your response began with words improper punctuation and capitalization. Suddenly, your conversation became wholly formal, perfect down to the smallest detail. I feel as if I am not speaking to a human being and I must believe that I am speaking to a human being.

  Michele: ok, the script contains frequently asked questions and appropriate responses to those questions. That is done in order to save the typing time. However, we do not rely on scripts entirely.

  Michele:The responses are according to the situation.

  Michele:For example, if anyone asks a questions “How are you today?”

  Michele:The response would not be a script. It would be just like a normal conversation.

  Willard J Domacyle:I see. And again, thank you for bearing with my slow typing. Tell me: is there a script for the query: Is this an automated program or is there a live person on the other end?

  Michele: The responses are not automated. We have live agents talking to the visitors on our various client websites.

  Michele:Only the content part is scripted and only if you want us to

  Willard J Domacyle:Is this an automated program or is there a live person on the other end?

  Michele:This is not an automated program at all :)

  Michele:I am a live person

  Willard J Domacyle:I see. This particular action does sound very human-like. But to satisfy my curiosity, will you indulge me? I believe that your first response: “This is not an automated program at all” was not a script, but that “I am a live person” was a script. Am I correct, Michele?

  Michele:Not at all, I typed that.

  Michele:These statement are not scripted

  Michele:As I explained, we would not script anything if you don’t want us

  Michele:If you don’t want us to★

  Michele:We would train our staff according to your business model and have them talk to the visitors on your website without using any script.

  Willard J Domacyle:Excellent! Your responses are exactally what I was hoping for! Kudos to your programmers!

  Willard J Domacyle:What is your favorite color, Michele?

  Michele: That’s black and maroon :)

  Willard J Domacyle:Very unique response.

  Michele: What about you?

  Willard J Domacyle:That’s black and maroon :)

  Michele: So you like the same colors :D

  Willard J Domacyle:So you like the same colors :D

  Michele: Sir, you’re copying and pasting anything I say :)

  Willard J Domacyle:Yes, I am. I am writing it all down in my book.

  Michele: Sure, do you have any other question regarding website greeter service?

  Willard J Domacyle:What would life be like without these interfaces?

  Michele: I think visitors on website would end up leaving without anyone knowing

  Willard J Domacyle:And what would the end result be?

  Michele: The end result would be less business

  Michele: This interface would actually grab their attention

  Michele: We are able to provide them with the appropriate information

  Michele: we can answer any questions they have regarding product / service

  Willard J Domacyle:And once their attention is grabbed, and we have provided them with the appropriate information, and answered any questions they have, what then are we to do with them?

  Michele: It actually depends upon the business model

  Michele: Let’s take an example of a cars website

  Michele: visitors come to buying, leasing and financing

  Michele: a greeter would help them find the car they are looking for, provide them with the mandatory information and requst for their contact details to proceed further with the deal

  Michele: These conversations are sent to our clients and they follow up the leads

  Willard J Domacyle:What if they don’t need a car?

  Michele: Greeters are aware of all types of visitors coming to the website. They are trained to handle each type of visitor

  Willard J Domacyle:Please explain “trained to handle”.

  Michele:During our discussion over the business model, we analyze the expected types of visitors on a particular website.

  Michele: For instance apart from buying cars we can expect people coming for car service, parts replacement e.t.c

  Michele: And after understanding the types of visitors greeters are provided with an outline to follow for each type

  Michele: and that is just the approach that is defined for them.

  Michele: A conversation would be carried out just the way we do over a telephone

  Willard J Domacyle:Familiarize me with a few example “types” if you will. You may speak hypothetically.

  Michele:I gave you an example of customers coming for service appointments.

  Michele: Greeter would request for their contact details to schedule the appointment.

  Willard J Domacyle:Are the interfaces able to read “personality” types.

  Michele:Do you mean the moods of visitors?

  Michele:I think that is very natural.

  Michele:We can easily understand the mood of a particular situation with the way visitors type.

  Michele:Exactly the way we would over the phone.

  Willard J Domacyle:And so to the visitor it is all very “human”.

  Michele: It sure is

  Willard J Domacyle:Am I write in assuming that all greeter interfaces will appear to the user as female, thus instilling within them a sense of maternal trust and familiarity?

  Michele: We offer customization of the interface according to our clients’ requirements

  Michele: Our greetings clearly indicate the names of greeters so our visitors know whether they’re talking to a male or a female

  Willard J Domacyle:But what is in a name, eh, Michele?

  Michele:That identifies the gender.

  Reproduction

  Michele:Secondly these interfaces are not the same. We actually customize them according to our clients’ requirements.

  Michele:Can I assist you with anything else?

  Willard J Domacyle:Well, I believe I have about all the information I need at the current time, so I will leave you all alone at last. But first, will you indulge me one last time? I would like to pretend to be someone other than myself, that is a random visitor. May I ask you a few questions in a voice other than my true one?

  Michele:Sure

  Willard J Domacyle:All right, thank you. I may change character once or twice, in which case please respond to me as you see fit. Thank you again, in advance, and since I, Professor Willard J. Domecyla is signing off, let me tell you it has been a pleasure interfacing with you. Kudos again to your programmer. Now, please go ahead and run greeting script. Good-bye.

  Michele:Pleasure chatting with you as well

  Michele:Would you like to give me your email address and phone number?

  Willard J Domacyle:Hello? Who is this?

  Michele:Hi, I am Michele

  Michele:And may I know your name?

  Willard J Domacyle:I am Professor Wil

  Willard J Domacyle:I’m sorry, Michele. I meant to press “delete” but I seemed to press “return”

  Willard J Domacyle:I am Matthew.

  Michele:Nice to meet you Matthew :)

  Michele:Can I help you with anything?

  Willard J Domacyle:Well, I am in the market for robot parts.

  Michele: Are you looking to compare prices?

  Willard J Domacyle:Yes.

  Michele: (would you like me to refer to any website for this information at the moment?)

  Willard J Domacyle:I do not understand. Are you not the premier Institute in biomechanical humanotronics?

  Michele: (Sir
I asked you for a website so I could assist you accordingly)

  Michele: Let me continue with premier Institute in biomechanical humanotronics.

  Michele: We can send you the quote, matthew

  Michele: Which specific parts are you interested in?

  Willard J Domacyle:Both hands and arms, from the fingertips to the shoulder-sockets. Need all parts including nerve strands, muscles, capillaries, arteries, etc. All cosmetics; fingernails, fingerprints, skin tone, wrinkles, scars, etc.

  Michele: ok please give me your email address and phone number

  Michele: I will have one of our agents contact you with complete pricing details.

  Willard J Domacyle:Hello, my name is Mabel.

  Michele: Hey Mabel, how are you today?

  Willard J Domacyle:Sorry. My name is Mavis.

  Michele: Mavis, I am Michele. How may I help you today?

  Willard J Domacyle:Oh, you know how it goes. Congress is really doing a number on Medicaid. These drug plans are so confusing! My grand-daughter’s name is Michele.

  Michele: That’s sweet :)

  Michele: Nice coincidence

  Michele: (Which website are you referring to this time?)

  Willard J Domacyle:There’s something about you that feels so…familiar.

  Michele: oh really

  Michele: what could that be

  Michele: ?

  Michele: pardon me for the question mark

  Michele: I hit the enter button a bit earlier

  Willard J Domacyle:I have seen the commercials about fully-integrated dome housing systems. They say soon we will all be forced to live in domes. But I am on a fixed income, Shelly.

  Michele: I am sure we can offer you a good del

  Michele: deal★

  Willard J Domacyle:Is it true that Domacyle’s Domes are safer and better-constructed than McLeash’s Round-houses?

  Michele: I think both the constructions are good since price range is the major factor

  Willard J Domacyle:(Excellent answer, Michelle. It’s me: Willard!) Shelly, they say Domacyle is a mad, power-hungry scientist, bent on world domination! Is this true?

  Michele: I guess I need to observe him a bit more to verify :D

  Willard J Domacyle:Michele, I have enjoyed talking to you.

  Michele: Would you like to give me your email address and phone number

  Willard J Domacyle:Sorry, I’m a married man. But thank you for your time.

  Michele: Thank you for visiting Website​Greeters.com. Please feel free to contact us at 312- for any future correspondence.

  Willard J Domacyle:Have a good day.

  Willard J Domacyle:Bye.

  Matthew McIntosh

  for Erin

  (sal3.aiff)

  To rent these châteaus—there must have been about 50 or 75 of them, on both sides of the road… uh… who built them, I don’t know. Aida would remember. Uh, because she dug into it. Uh, they had uh, open furnaces to warm the water, throughout the house, uh, and you could uh—

  M: Are you cold?

  Yeah.

  What do you want? Should I get you a blanket?

  Oh! Whatever’s available uh, right off the………

  ……………I’ll get you a shirt too.

  That white one from last night is fine!…

  { }

  No, I’ll wear a new shirt later on!……

  I got a sweatshirt here if you want.

  Oh, good then!………………………… You know, I didn’t ask Claire to bring me the sweatsuit, but but uh if if we get back there, uh… we’ll pick up the sweatsuit…… This is yours!

  No, this is yours!

  Oh, it is?

  Yeah.

  Oh………………… Oh, that’s great.

  I’ll wrap this around your legs.

  Yeah, great…

  Don’t you want a different chair?

  No, this is fine……. And uh—but this was, not inland, but on the coast—on the coast. And uh, that whole area now is called, La Costa Azul. The Blue Coast. And it’s all full of tourist—tourism. We had gone down for a looksee… driving around, and she said, What a beautiful coastline! Right off the Mediterranean.

  Beautiful.

  I mean, it was gorgeous! And there was a uh… it was a rock, that lay less than a half a mile off the coast. Huge—humungous rock! Uh… and she says, You know, if I, if I I I had the ability, she says, I’d put steps, leadin up to the top… and back… Oh, I need some tissues…………………………………………… And—thank you……………………………… Still bleedin…… So… we had gone to the shore, and they had little cottages, see? And they would rent you these cottages, with uh, maid service, cook service, and all that… for less than a hundred a month.

  A month?

  A month. And we would rent for three—the three months of the of the summer, year. You had your cabana down on the on the sand…

  It sounds like Paradise.

  Oh, man! And we met this Spanish family, a businessman—he was a toy manufacturer………… And uh his family and—they always traveled with their maids—always traveled with their maids. We had both boys, by that time. Yeah. So, the boys went out to play with the little other, the other little boys, and uh, we would talk with uh, I have to look up his name—again, I can’t remember. Aida was good though when it come to memory. And uh…so he says to me, one morning, we’d gotten up early and gone down to the shore and, fooled around at the water’s edge, he says, Where—Where you gonna have lunch today?

  I says, Gee, I hadn’t given it any any thought.

  He says, Good. We’ll all go out together. I know a nice little place. Right on the coast……

  I’m tryin to think, of the city, right on the coast…

  You had Barcelona… and you had…

  oh, I can’t think…

  But anyway… there were… four cars in our caravan. The businessman was uh the leader. So, he says, We’re ready to go.

  And I said—this was about nine o’clock in the morning—I says, That’s pretty early for lunch!

  He says, No-no! We pick our lunch! And then we come back!

  I said, Ah, OK.

  So… we decided we had—we’d leave the families behind, and the four of us, the four main adults would uh, would go, and…

  So we’re traveling, we’re talkin, and we’re sayin this and sayin that… and he says, Now… you don’t know what’s goin on, he says, but we want you to keep quiet, and let us do the haggling…

  OK.

  We made a turn around, on the bound, and then came a small fishing village. The boats were comin in. We went down, to the to the shore, into the sand, and we’re walkin and I’m admiring the view, and all that—it was nice and warm… The sun was already a little high in the in the morning, and… he says, now, Let’s go down, down to see what they caught.

  And they, you know, they threw their baskets right on the pier and, the fishermen would come up, and they’d talk, and he says, I hope you got a good catch this morning.

  He says, Oh, yeah! We always have good catches!

  And all that, and so on, and.

  He says, OK, we’ll uh take this bunch, that bunch—and it’d be lobster, crabs, you know, uh, uh octopus, uh, all, all you can imagine, and uh, they put it in these two trays, that were, wide open, baskets—weaved baskets, so—what we were gonna have was something that you—you have to order. In advance. Because it takes, four hours, at least, to uh, to cook and preparation and all that. And uh, we said we’d be back at uh, about between twelve thirty you know one o’clock, and they said, Yeah, no problem.

  And we had to—climb back up…

  Off the main road, high, there was a restaurant that sat, right high, overlookin the ocean. And I had no idea… no idea—I’d heard of it. I had uh, I had uh tasted it before, but I had no idea, that they were gonna order this… Which was uh………………. [laughs]… Oh, I had the word right at the tip of my tongue……

>   Uh…… anyway…… We started driving back, and we were talkin and I said uh……………. You sure they know how to cook? Because to me they were all fishermen—you know.

  He said, Oh, yeah!

  You know….

  What is it there to know about this dish… It was a rice dish—the paella! You ever heard of that, the paella? I made it for you and your—uh uh—for your father and mother. Uh, Zaida and I—Aida and I—I had so many nicknames for her.

 

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