He knows. He knows it all.
“I think you’d better let me come in.”
“Ryan will be home soon,” I blurt out.
He huffs out a humourless laugh. “I’m well aware of where Ryan is.” It’s creepy – the way he says that. Like he has eyes on Ryan, which for all I know, he does.
I don’t know what to do. I should slam the door in his face and lock it behind me, but I’m scared. He’ll just come back. He’ll keep coming back until he’s finished with whatever game he’s playing.
He’s a narcissist, plain and simple. It took me leaving the situation – our relationship – for me to see it, but now that I do, it’s clear as day. He’s cunning, manipulative, and he wants what he can’t have. He’s selfish and self-centred and would crush anyone to get ahead. It’s all just collateral damage – me included.
My body moves before my brain has had time to make a decision. I step aside, and he walks inside without pausing, like he owns the place, although I very much doubt he’s ever set foot inside this house. I’m quite confident he’s never taken the time to visit his brother, yet looking at him, you’d think he’d come here every day for his entire life.
I used to find it endearing – the way he carried himself so confidently... now I see that’s what made it so easy to listen to and believe all the things he told me – it was the complete and utter conviction he delivered his lies with.
I find him sitting in Ryan’s usual spot on the couch, and I hate everything about it. I hate seeing him here. I hate that he’s tainting this little piece of peace I’ve managed to create. I hate him.
I sit in the seat the farthest away from him, and even that, I do reluctantly. I want to walk out the front door and not look back – but I know that would be pointless. You can’t outrun Jacob Steele.
“You look good, Darcy.”
I don’t reply, not only because I know I look like shit, but because I know he’s not being genuine. He delivers the line like he read it directly from a script.
“I miss you. I want us to get back together.”
I knew it was going to come out of his mouth, yet it still shocks me. The total absurdity of it leaves me in disbelief.
“Are you kidding?” I manage.
“Unfortunately not.” He grinds his teeth together in irritation, and that’s when I figure it out. He’s not here because he wants to be – he’s here because he’s been ordered.
He doesn’t want me any more than I want him… which can only mean one thing. Daddy dearest snapped his fingers.
The only man out there bigger and badder than Jacob Steele is his prick of a father – Conrad Steele. He’s the only person that Jacob bows down to, and I have a feeling that he’s in control – this realisation only terrifies me more. That man is the devil reincarnated.
“Do I ever kid when it comes to my work?”
He doesn’t, not ever, although I’m not entirely sure yet what exactly this has to do with his work.
“You walked out on me on our wedding day, you don’t want me,” I argue.
“I made a mistake.”
Lies.
“I don’t love you anymore, Jacob. I’m not sure I ever really did.”
He chuckles, dark and menacing. “This isn’t about love. Jesus Christ, Darcy, you’re so naive. You live in this fairy-tale with Prince Charming and true love coming to save you. That bullshit isn’t real life. Who gives a fuck about love? This is business.”
And there it is. I’m not stupid, I’ve seen the stories, the gossip columns. I’ve seen the things they’ve said about Jacob, about the business. About how maybe he’s not the best choice to be the next CEO. This story has stuck around far longer than I ever considered it would. He’s the city’s most eligible bachelor now, but the media still seem to want to focus on his misgivings rather than his new single life. According to Steph, he’s still being labelled as ‘cunt of the year’.
He needs to clean up his appearance and the easiest way to do that, is to get me back.
“I won’t do it,” I say, my voice far stronger than I expected it to be.
“Oh, you’ll do it alright. Unless you want to fight my name and money in court... where I’ll win.” He smirks knowingly. “I could make sure you never see that baby again.”
A fresh wave of shock hits me. I’m obviously aware that he knows I’m pregnant, but hearing him speak about my baby makes me feel sick.
“You can’t do that. This baby is nothing to do with you.”
I know that I’m up shit creek without a paddle right now, but I just have to keep my cool and hope like hell that Jacob doesn’t know what I do – that I’m completely and utterly fucked.
The look on his face scares me. Not because I think he’s going to reach out and hurt me physically... this is worse... it’s a look that says he’s going to crush my soul.
“But it is...” he replies airily, “that’s the interesting thing about identical twins. I did some research and turns out it’s incredibly difficult to tell them apart by DNA... so let’s say it was up for debate about who fathered that child... there would be no easy way of knowing.”
Minutes of silence stretch by as I come to terms with the reality that he’s doing this on purpose. He knows as well as I do that the chances of this baby being his are next to nothing, but he doesn’t care. He’ll lie, manipulate and hurt anyone to get what he needs from them.
“I can’t say for sure, but I think a judge would probably side with a prominent businessman over the bitter woman he left at the altar. Don’t you?”
I’m screwed. So completely and totally screwed and he knows it. He knew it before he even walked in the door. This isn’t about who a judge would side with, because I’d never get a fair trial. He and his father have half of the city’s judges in their back pockets. This is about power, money and business.
He’s got me cornered. I don’t know how he’s done it, but he has. He’s found a way to ensure I either give him exactly what he wants, or I lose everything.
Even if I were to tell Ryan, even if he used every last cent he had to try and fight this, it would be nothing but a drop in the bucket up against the resources of Jacob and his father. And then not only would I have lost everything, but he will have too. We’d both have nothing.
I can’t lose my child.
I can’t let Ryan lose it all for me.
“I can reach out and break you, Darcy.”
He knows. He knows he’s left me with no choice. He knows everything and I, stupidly, didn’t see any of it coming.
“You’re a bastard.” I choke out the words.
“I’ve been called worse.”
He glances at his watch as though this interaction is keeping him from something vastly more important. As though he hasn’t just destroyed my entire life in the space of ten minutes.
“It’s not so bad. You can have a good life. You were happy with me once, you’ll be happy again. You can buy expensive things... keep your child. Just do what you’re told and don’t force my hand.”
“I’ll never forgive you for this,” I say. As though it’ll change anything. As though he’d ever care about my forgiveness.
“I can live with that,” he replies coldly.
“What am I meant to do? What do you expect me to tell Ryan?” I demand, the panic setting in thick and fast now. This all just became too real. This is going to destroy Ryan.
“I don’t give a shit what you tell my good-for-nothing brother, say whatever you have to say. Do whatever you have to do.”
I have to get out of here. I can’t breathe.
I rush from the room, not caring that he’s still here. He’ll leave. He’ll want to be gone before Ryan gets back – it’s all part of the game.
I can’t believe I thought I loved Jacob only a few months ago. I don’t even know who he really is – and the parts I do know and understand, are not parts I like. I feel like a fool. I’ve been played.
I shut the door to the room tha
t was set up as mine, but I haven’t slept in for weeks. Ryan’s room has become our room, but I can’t face going in there right now – seeing the messy bed and knowing that I’ll never get to slide back into it with his warm body wrapped around mine might break me.
This is going to crush him. He loves me. I know he does, and this baby too. I know in my heart that it’s his. But I have no way to prove it. I can’t prove that Jacob didn’t father this child and trying will only kill us both.
I’m going to take so much from Ryan, but my choices both suck. I either break his heart and leave, he loses me and the baby, but he keeps his home, his business and his sanity. Or I stay – we fight, and in the end, all he’d be left with is me. No money, no baby. He’d hate me by the end of that. I’m no match for Jacob. I can’t fight him. I won’t win. No one ever does.
18
Ryan
“Princess?” I call out as I close the door behind me. Normally if Darcy is home, there is music playing way too loudly and she rushes to meet me at the door, but today neither of those things greet me.
It’s silent.
I don’t even know for sure if she’s here, it’s hard to tell when she doesn’t have a car parked outside. That’ll make the surprise I have coming for her even sweeter.
“Darce, you home?” I call again.
That’s when I see them – the two huge suitcases sitting in the hallway.
“Darcy?” My voice has an edge of panic to it now.
She emerges from her bedroom, her shoulders hunched forward, head down. I saw her only a few hours ago, yet somehow, she looks ten times frailer now than she did then.
I take a step towards her. “Darcy, what the hell is going on? Are you okay? Is the baby –”
“The baby’s fine. I’m fine.”
This is one of those classic female moments where saying ‘I’m fine’ actually means anything but. I’ve never seen her look more defeated or scared. Not the night she came into the bar to tell me she was pregnant, not even the night of her failed wedding. She looks like a shell of herself again – the way she did when she was with Jacob.
“What’s going on?” I ask again, still desperate for some type of answer that doesn’t confirm the fear coursing through my body. I know something bad is about to happen, my gut is telling me I’m about to hurt. I want so desperately to be wrong.
“I have to leave.”
She can’t even look at me.
“You have to leave?” I repeat, deadpan.
“We knew this was only a temporary solution, and I think now would be a good time...”
She’s babbling and I tune her out.
Leave.
She’s leaving me.
“Why?” I demand, interrupting whatever shit she’s spurting. I don’t understand. This makes no sense to me.
“I just think it’s for the best.”
“Don’t lie to me. Not after everything. We don’t lie to one another. If you don’t want to be here then that’s fine, but I don’t believe that’s the truth.”
Her blue eyes finally meet mine and the unshed tears spill over, running in long trails down her cheeks.
“Please, Ryan, just let me go.” She begs – pleads with me.
I don’t understand what’s going on here. We’ve been so happy. We are so happy, and now she wants out?
None of this makes any sense.
“Did something happen? If something is wrong you can talk to me, Darce, I’ll help you. I’ll –”
“There’s nothing anyone can do,” she whispers.
“What the hell does that mean?” I reach out for her, but she steps back. My hand falls into the space between us. I don’t know why, but that cuts me deep – deeper than any of her words so far.
“I have to go okay; I just have to.”
“Why? Just tell me why. I’ll support you with anything, but I need to know why.”
“I can’t, okay!” she yells, the loudest I think I’ve ever heard her. So loud, it shocks me.
“Please don’t make me say it.” Her voice is a whisper now – one extreme to the other.
“Say what, Darce? I have no idea what’s going on here. I’m confused as fuck.”
“Then just believe me when I say I have to go. If you really love me, you’ll let me go. I have to go. I want to go. I don’t belong here.”
It’s bullshit. It’s all bullshit. I see through her as though she’s made of glass, but I can’t figure this out. I don’t know why she’s running from me.
“That’s my baby in your belly, Darce. You’re mine, both of you are.”
“I’m not yours, Ryan, I never was.”
It’s a lie. I can see the way it tastes like poison coming from her lips, but that doesn’t make it sting any less.
“You were mine from the very beginning, you just didn’t know it yet.”
Her brow furrows. “What is that meant to mean?”
“Nothing,” I reply. “It doesn’t matter, the only thing that matters is you, here with me.”
A fresh wave of tears stream down her pretty pink cheeks.
“I can’t.” I hear everything I need to hear in those two words. She’s leaving. I can’t change her mind. Nothing I do or say is going to stop her.
I’ve lost her. Again.
My legs feel as though they’re about to give out from under me.
She must sense that I’ve got no fight left – nothing left to give. She wheels one of the suitcases out of the house before coming back for the other.
She returns inside once more, pausing in front of me. I can’t look at her; it’ll break me. I can’t watch the most important thing in my life walk out the door.
She pushes up onto her tip toes and presses a kiss to the corner of my mouth. “I’m so sorry.”
That’s the last thing she says before she turns and leaves, closing the front door softly behind her.
I follow her, stupidly wanting one last glance.
I watch her through the glass as she gets into a car, and behind the wheel, is none other than my brother.
My legs do give out now. I fall to the floor, a pained, guttural sound ripping up my throat.
This is the second time I’ve had to watch her walk away with him, and I’m not sure I’m strong enough to handle it again. It was hard enough the first time and I know damn well that was nothing compared to what this will do to me.
19
Darcy
Jacob looked at me like I was pathetic when I told him that I wouldn’t be sharing the master bedroom with him like I used to, but he didn’t put up a fight as I wheeled my suitcases down the hall to one of the guest rooms.
I guess he doesn’t really give a shit what happens behind closed doors. This whole thing is about public appearances after all – he likely doesn’t want to share a bed with me any more than I want to share one with him. And thank God for that; the thought of laying my head next to his makes me want to jump off the balcony.
I close and lock the door behind me and flip one of my suitcases on its side. I took one of Ryan’s t-shirts, the one he was wearing yesterday. I couldn’t help myself. I needed a part of him with me.
I grab it out and bring it up to my nose, inhaling deeply. This might have been a mistake. It smells like him and that makes me want to cry. I’ve been reduced to sniffing his clothes when only last night I had the real thing next to me.
There’s a knock at my door, but I make no move to answer it.
“I’m going to work.” Jacob’s voice comes from the other side. That’s all he says before I hear him walk away.
That’s it. He doesn’t care if I need anything. He doesn’t care if I’m hungry or comfortable. He doesn’t care about me at all.
And he never will.
I curl up in a ball on the bed as sobs begin to rack through my body. I’ve never hurt like this before.
Jacob leaving me at the altar was nothing compared to this. I don’t need tequila to feel numb this time – I feel numb all over, as
though I’ve been detached from reality.
I feel like my entire world has been ripped out from underneath me. Everything that made me smile... everything I loved is gone. Everything except this baby.
I rub my stomach and feel as the baby moves around inside me. “It’s just me and you now, Peanut.” My voice is hoarse from all the crying, but the tears haven’t stopped, they’re still flowing freely down my cheeks, and I doubt they’ll stop anytime soon. I have nothing worth stopping for.
My phone rings, and I roll over to see who’s calling. It’s Steph, but I’m not sure I can face her right now, so I let it go to voicemail.
She’s probably calling to tell me about breaking one of her newly painted nails, or about how loud Mark snored last night, and I don’t have the energy to care right now. I don’t even have the energy to pretend to care.
The ringing stops and then starts again immediately.
I ignore that too.
A text comes through
Steph: What the fuck is going on?
Steph: I went to your house to drop off that bag you wanted.
My heart sinks.
If she went to the house, then she would have seen Ryan. I can’t even imagine how he would have looked – how completely broken he would have been.
Another text comes through.
Steph: Call me now before I call the police.
I groan and hit call. Talking to anyone is the last thing I want to do, but I know Steph and I know she’s not kidding. She’d have the police around here, banging the door down within the hour, and I doubt that would please Jacob.
He lectured me the entire drive over here about the perfect little wife I needed to be, the minute I set foot outside of the door. The idea makes me sick. I wonder what he’d do to me if I just flat out refused to leave the apartment. I hate being stuck inside, but it’s certainly preferable to pretending I can stand the sight of him.
She picks up after only one ring. “Are you okay?” she demands.
“I’m okay,” I reply through a fresh wave of tears.
“Oh, D,” she says, her tone compassionate. “Talk to me. What the hell is going on?”
The First Rule: A Standalone Second Chance Romance Page 14