by Bush, Rose
THE SECRET FIRST LADY:
THE NAKED TRUTH
ROSE BUSH
This book is dedicated to my grandmothers ROSE MARIE AND DOROTHY JEAN. I love and miss you.
I would like to thank everyone who read “The Secret First Lady” and encouraged me to produce the sequel.
As always, thanks to my family and friends who continuously motivate me. I love you.
Raylynn, Rya, and Royal, you bring me pure joy.
In loving memory of Ms. Trazon Harris.
Prologue
Forgiveness may be one of the most difficult tasks one will have to accomplish in this thing called life. The art of forgiving those who have wronged you in the past doesn’t mean you are a weak individual. Mastering this art displays true strength, courage, and the power one has over their own destiny. My friend, do you know there is power in forgiveness? Instead of judging someone who may have mistreated you, why not try to understand the reason for their madness? Easier said than done, right? Perhaps, they too have been used and abused in their past, therefore, breaking hearts may be the only way they know how to communicate with others.
In The Secret First Lady, Rachel Jones felt betrayed by not only her husband, but also her pastor turned lover, Christopher Jackson. On a quest not to judge him, she discovers his behavior stemmed from years of abuse and torment that he suffered at the hands of his own uncle. Bottom line is this, hurt people, hurt other people…sometimes that’s all they know.
Turn the page and let’s journey through the sequel of The Secret First Lady.
Chapter One: Screaming for Help
Time heals all wounds. Correction, true forgiveness of self and others over a period of time heals most wounds. Ironically, it seems in many cases, just when you get on the right track, something else comes along attempting to throw you off balance.
Rachel released her hug and led Chris into her cozy South Atlanta apartment home. She thought about her encounter the night before, when she heard the Lord’s voice reign through her bedroom. I can’t ruin my relationship with Him again; He heard my cry and answered me. There’s no turning back. But Chris needs me. The Lord wouldn’t turn His back on His people.
“Please, make yourself comfortable, Chris. Can I get you something to eat or drink?”
“I’ll have a coke, if it’s not too much trouble, Rach.” He sat on the oversized sofa and slipped his shoes off.
Rachel grabbed a lemon-lime soda from the fridge and poured it into a glass filled with ice. She handed him the glass and sat on the opposite side of the room. “Sorry; I’m all out of coke.”
“Rachel, I really appreciate you. After all we’ve been through, you could’ve easily slammed the door in my face or cursed me out and shunned me away. Instead, you invited me in with open arms. That says a lot about you; a lot about us and the love we still share.” He watched her with a convincing look in his eyes.
Rachel played with her Tiffany bracelet that hugged her wrist as she attempted to absorb the words that Chris was spitting off his lips. She had no reply. Her feelings had definitely changed for him. The feeling of love she thought she had for him was no longer a factor, neither was he. She was exercising her Fifth Amendment right, remaining silent and allowing him the opportunity to continue speaking. Rachel removed her hand from the bracelet and started smoothing through her hair.
“You never judged me, Rachel. I love you for that. Through you, I learned true forgiveness. After Kevin died--------.”
“I take it Kevin was Lisa’s brother? The name of your deceased lover?” Rachel learned her ex-man’s lover’s name for the first time.
“Yes, his name was Kevin.”
“Hmmm. Okay.” She continued stroking her long black hair.
He paused for a moment to fight back his tears. They were in each other’s lives for so long, it pained Chris to think about Kevin. Rachel tried to be empathetic. She lifted out of the chair she was sitting in and walked across the room to be next to him.
“After Kevin’s death and seeing how his own family didn’t attend his funeral because of his sexual orientation, it did something to me. It made me want to make peace with myself and others. I thought about how forgiving you were to me after the death of our baby and desired to have that same quality as you.”
Did he just say “our” baby? Rachel thought to herself.
“Because of you Rachel, I found the courage to face my demon. I flew from the funeral in California directly to Cleveland to visit my uncle, who I hadn’t seen or spoken to in almost twenty years. I faced my demon and told him how he took away my childhood, my manhood, and the good sense God gave me! I told him that I’m not all the way defeated and how God’s love and mercy kept me covered. He cried like a baby, Rach, in the same manner I cried when I was a nine year old boy being raped by a grown man!” Chris stood up and began shouting as if he was preaching a Sunday morning sermon. Sweat started dripping from his bald head. “I looked my uncle so deep in his eyes and told him that I forgave him, that I love him and so does the Lord. Then I forgave myself for allowing what he did to me to be my crutch and my reason for constant sin. It comes a point in time when you can’t continue to blame yesterday for today or for what may happen tomorrow. I hugged him as I began to pray and asked the Lord to forgive both of us.”
Rachel could feel the tears streaming from her eyes. She was happy for him and the fact that he had faced and conquered his demon.
“Rachel, what he revealed to me completely blew my mind. When he was nine, his stepfather started raping him until he was seventeen. That bastard was sleeping with my grandmother; his wife and my uncle; sometimes on the same day. History repeated itself. I could only think about my uncle’s son who will be turning nine in March. We prayed so hard that I saw with my own two eyes, a sexual demon being delivered from him. I truly believe that monster that once lived inside of him has died.”
She shook with disbelief; she couldn’t understand this type of sin. Grown adults making children sex slaves! She wasn’t sure she wanted to understand it. She prayed every day for not only her kid’s safety, but the security of all children. To her, kids were the most precious and innocent creatures who walked the face of the earth.
“Don’t cry for me, Ms. Jones. My storm is over and knowing you has helped me overcome things in my life I was afraid to face. I thank you for that.”
“So, why did you leave your calling? I can’t believe you left your congregation.” A small piece of Rachel wanted to catch up where they left off.
“Preaching allowed me to live the good life. It provided a means to living, but in all actuality, I was only existing. I was doing everything under the sun. Not only was I lying to my congregation, I recognized I was only fooling myself. Was I really called to preach or was I doing it because that’s what the Jackson family did? Knowing that I couldn’t answer those questions, it was time for me to do the right thing and step down.”
“I’m so proud of you, Chris. I’ve been doing some soul searching myself. I was in the middle of packing when you knocked on the door. It’s time for me to pick up my babies. I’m missing them and we’ve been a part far too long.” Rachel looked at Chris with a look that said, so what’s next? Where do we go from here?
“Oh that’s great, Rachel! When do you plan on leaving? I was hoping we could spend a little time together.” He looked back at her with a look that said, I really do need you.
“Well I don’t have to bring them here for another six months, however, I feel it’s time to bring them home. How about I tell my parents I’ll come next week and that gives you and me an entire week to play catch up or whatever?” She wasn’t entirely sure about her decision, but s
he felt capable of doing the right thing.
“Thank you, babe, I appreciate that. I just need to be around someone who actually gets me, you know what I mean?”
Rachel nodded her head, still uncertain about what she was agreeing to.
“All I ask is that you keep an open-mind.” He suddenly had mischief written all over his face.
They cuddled up on the sofa and watched Law and Order re-runs. Rachel prepared grilled chicken salad for them to feast on as they gazed at the television. After a while, her eyes grew heavy and Ms. Jones drifted to sleep on the sofa. Chris wrapped his arms around her the way he use to do, when she would creep over to his old home for a sleepover. Law and Order continued to play as Chris stayed awake, analyzing Rachel. Her mouth was slightly ajar. Her face was smooth and was painted with a sense of peace and tranquility.
Suddenly, loud disco music played throughout the apartment, startling Rachel out of her serenity. She sat up and dug the sleep out of the corner of her eyes. Chris was standing in front of her dancing to the music. He was wearing blue eye shadow, bright pink lipstick, and gold hoop earrings. His long legs were stretched into a pair of fishnet stockings. He wore a lace t-shirt and he was moving towards Rachel.
“Rachel, this is the real me. What do you think? Should I go by Chrissy or Christina? You’re the only one who gets me and can appreciate the real me. Here I am! Ta-dahhhh!”
Rachel wiped the sleep from her eyes once more to make sure she was seeing clearly. Here we go again on this merry-go-round.
“Rachel, you know I love you right? And it has been such a long time since we made love or role played. Now remember, I asked you to keep an open mind. So let’s have a little fun for old time sake.”
Her nostrils flared up as her ears ignited with what felt like fire. She couldn’t believe what she seeing or hearing. Sweat dripped from her hairline into her right eye causing it to become irritated. “You can’t be for real, Chris! I delay picking up my children to spend time with you and you present me with this darn freak show! You have a lot of nerve! Silly of me for still caring enough to invite you into my home.”
“Rachel, shut up and kiss me! Up underneath the lipstick and the mascara, it’s still me; the man you once fell in love with.” He tried to sound convincing, but wasn’t sure if he was persuading her or trying to fool himself into believing his own foolishness.
“Chris, that wasn’t love. I was so blind, but trust me, now I see! I see this mess clearly and I’m going to need you to back away from me; I’ve changed, Christopher. I happen to love me now and I refuse to settle for anything!”
“I said shut-up and kiss me!” He threw his body weight on top of her, pinning her to the sofa. He began kissing her slowly and passionately, smearing his lipstick around her mouth.
Rachel tried to free herself, but it was no use. He had over powered her and was having his way. Just as he ripped her shirt open, she began to scream, piercing his left ear drum.
“Get off of me! Let me go! Why are you doing this to me, Chris! You came here with your sob story to win my heart over and now this!”
He ignored her cries, continuing to take off her clothes; piece by piece. He reached up and wrapped her long black hair around his hand and pulled as hard as he could. “Shut your mouth, you condescending little whore. If it wasn’t for the make-up, you would be enjoying yourself right now. See, look at you! You’re judging me! You’re judging me, aren’t you? I haven’t forgot about the freaky things we use to do. I want that again! You can lay back and enjoy it, Rachel. Or you can lay back and just take it; either way, I’m getting a piece of this chocolate cake.”
It was almost as if he transformed from human to a demon-possessed creature. Rachel cried and closed her eyes as tight as she could; silently praying for him to stop. He started laughing. “Do you think I don’t know what you’re doing? I know you’re praying to your God, asking Him to save you. Guess what? I’ve prayed that same prayer all my life and look at all the bad things that came my way. Look how I turned out. Ta-dahhhh! Aren’t I fabulous, Rachel? So continue to pray and let me know if and when your savior arrives Ms. Jones. Until then, I’m going to dig in. I have been missing this good loving.”
Tears streamed from her eyes down to her nose, seeping down to her mouth, allowing her to taste the saltiness of her pain filled cries. “Damn, baby, you’re still so very sexy.” Chris released the hold he had on Rachel’s hair and grabbed her throat, while keeping his body firmly pressed on hers. He pulled off her pants, sliding his hand into her underwear. “C’mon on, Rach, get with the program. Don’t you remember how good I made you feel? Lay back and enjoy it, baby. You got me feeling like some type of creep or sexual predator. Why you wanna do that to me, baby?” He kept a firm hold around her neck and slid off her panties.
“Don’t play dumb! You invited me in because you want it just as bad as I do.”
Lord, if you get me out of this, I promise I’ll never move backwards again. I get it, Lord, I do. Rachel fought back her tears and continued to pray.
Chris released his hand from her throat. He stopped and stared at her. He studied the sad look that was now smeared over her face. A part of him really didn’t want to hurt her, while another part of him just wanted to take what she was denying him. He felt powerless and irrelevant after leaving his congregation and he wanted to feel in control once more. His penis was rock hard and was bulging from the netted stockings he was wearing. “Rachel, you really don’t want this, do you?” He tried to sound sincere and apologetic.
She shook her head no. She couldn’t fight back the tears anymore. She cried with a look in her eyes that pleaded with him to stop.
“See, that’s what’s wrong with you women. You wanna act all innocent all of a sudden. You ain’t nothing but a little tease and I can’t let you get away with that! You wanna cuddle up with me and fall asleep with your ass all up on me and not expect for me to get horny! Be for real! And ya’ll wonder why the good men turn gay.”
“Chris, are you some type of drug? I know this isn’t you. You don’t have to do this. I can help you, if you let me. I promise I won’t call the police; I won’t tell a soul. Please, just let me help you.” She tried to reason with him which just pissed him off even more.
“You must think I have stupid written across my forehead. Maybe you won’t call the cops, but I know you’re going to call someone. I’m done talking. Either you’re going to give it to me or Reverend Jackson will have to take it!” He whipped his penis out and gave her a hard slap to the face, showing her he wasn’t playing and meant business.
Rachel cried louder, but it was useless. Her luxury style apartment was sound proof. She couldn’t hear her neighbors and it was obvious they didn’t hear her. Okay Rachel just relax. It will be over soon.
He began licking all over her body. He sat in between her legs pushing her thighs back. Just before he went inside of her, he let out the most evil laugh. “Oh Rachel, are you ready for the kicker?”
She held her breath and pretended not to hear him speak. She just wanted him to conduct his business and get out.
“I know you can hear me!” He grew angry with her not responding. “It’s okay you don’t have to say anything. It’s only fair that I let you know this. Shortly before Kevin passed away, I tested positive for HIV. Yeah I went and made amends with my uncle, not necessarily for me, it was for him. I know he needed peace and I gave it him! As for me, I’ve done too much bad shit to turn back. At this point, my feelings are numb and I don’t give a damn about no one or nothing. Now lay back and enjoy! Bon appetite, baby.” He continued to laugh as he attempted to penetrate Rachel.
Adrenaline started pumping through her veins. She dug deep finding the strength to fight him. “No-No-Noooooooooooooo! Stop it! Somebody help me!” She screamed for what seemed like hours. Finally someone must have heard her cry for help; she heard repeated knocks at the door.
“Rachel! What is it? Are you okay?” She realized she somehow made it into
her bedroom. She was drenched in sweat and she was trembling in the dark hoping to be rescued.
“Wake up, Rachel. You must be having a terrible nightmare. I heard you screaming all the way from the guest room. Let me get you a glass of water.” Chris stood in the doorway almost afraid to enter her room.
“No!” Rachel snapped. “I mean I’ll get it. I need to get up. How did I get into my bed?” Rachel took the back of her hand and attempted to wipe the perspiration from her forehead.
“I carried you in here before I went to bed. You fell asleep watching Law and Order. That was a crazy episode; a serial rapist who was into cross dressing. Anyway, I didn’t want you to be uncomfortable on the couch; hopefully it was okay for me to bring you into your bedroom.”
“Yes, that was really sweet of you. I just had a silly dream, that’s all.”
“Would you like to share it with me?” Chris made his way through the bedroom door.
“No, I’d rather not. Actually, I’ll have that glass of water, if you don’t mind.”
“Sure thing. How about if I make a cup of vanilla chai tea. You really should get out of those wet clothes. I would’ve put your pajamas on, but I didn’t want to risk having you wake up with the wrong impression.”
Rachel was glad it that it was only a dream. Maybe it was the dressing on the grilled chicken salad. She often heard that the foods a person ate before bed could cause them to have some crazy dreams or in her case, a night terror.
“Sure Chris. Tea sounds good. Make yourself a cup, too. I’m gonna take a quick shower and get into some fresh pajamas.” She got out of the bed and peeled her sweaty clothes off. Chris went into the kitchen and found the tea kettle.
Thank God it was only a dream. Rachel smiled as she sighed with relief.
Chapter Two: Dead Man Walking
The tea kettle whistled in the kitchen while the master bathroom filled with steamy smoke clouds. Rachel allowed hot suds to rinse the perspiration from her body. That was a crazy dream. Perhaps there was a hidden message in that night terror. Nah, stop tripping, Rachel, you’re reading far too deep. It was only a nightmare. Everyone has a bad dream from time to time.