by Chloe Walsh
Torment
Carter Kids #4
Published by Chloe Walsh
Copyright 2016 by Chloe Walsh
All rights reserved. ©
The right of Chloe Walsh to be identified as the Author of the work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright and Related Rights Act 2000.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means – electronic, mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system – without the prior written permission of the publisher, nor be otherwise circulated in any form or binding or cover than that in which it is published and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
This e-book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This e-book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each reader. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Torment,
Carter Kids #4,
First published, December 2016
All rights reserved. ©
Cover photo licensed from Shutterstock Inc.
Edited by Aleesha Davis
Smashwords Edition
Disclaimer
This book is a work of fiction. All names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
The author acknowledges all songs titles, song lyrics, film titles, film characters, trademarked statuses, brands, mentioned in this book are the property of, and belong to, their respective owners. The publication/ use of these trademarks is not authorized/ associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.
Chloe Walsh is in no way affiliated with any of the brands, songs, musicians or artists mentioned in this book.
All rights reserved ©
Dedication
This book is for my Mam.
Michelle Kennefick.
Mam, I love you. You've stuck in there with me through the worst of times. Months of hospitalization and depression. Years of hurtful words and broken promises. When there was no hope, and the world had turned its back on me, you waded into the darkness, put your arms around me and pulled me back to life.
We threw so much crap at you and you kept coming back, showing me first-hand what the true meaning of unconditional love is.
They say you hurt the person you love the most because you know they won't leave. Well, after twenty-seven years of turbulence, I can safely say that's true.
You fought in my corner when I needed it and forced me to fight back for myself – or as you would always say 'Steady Up'.
I know it hasn’t always been easy. We've had our share of pain and bad luck, but know this; I love you and I wouldn’t change you for the world. You're a wonderful grandmother and loving mother.
Don’t ever let the world dull your sparkle. Shine bright like the diamond you are.
I won't ever forget what you've done for me. I won't ever make the mistake of not remembering who got me to this point in my life. I owe you my life. My words are mundane, but they're all I have.
Words will never express how much I love you.
I'll always be your Clo.
Table of Contents
Copyright
Disclaimer
Dedication
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter Thirty-Five
Playlist
About the Author
Upcoming Releases
Books by Chloe Walsh
Acknowledgments
Reading Order:
To fully enjoy the depth of the Carter Kids' storyline, it is recommended the reader should begin with the Broken Series. The reading order is as follows:
Break my Fall
Fall to Pieces
Fall on Me
Forever we Fall
Treacherous
Always
Thorn
Tame
Torment
There are at least four more books in the pipeline for the Carter Kids Series, and possibly two more for the Broken Series. Release information and dates will be posted on Chloe's social media pages and website when they are finalized.
Prologue
Teagan
When I was seventeen, I was dragged out of my comfort zone and thrown into the snake pit.
My nightmares quickly became my reality and my life flashed before my eyes daily.
There was a whole lot of my youth I didn't care to remember.
And only one part I never wanted to forget.
Only one person...
Noah Messina was like a flash of lightning in my perfectly mapped out life. I had it all in order and he blew my plans to smithereens. He showed me more love than I'd ever been given and in turn had brought out of me emotions I'd never known existed.
We were a hot mess together; we never seemed to get it right, we drove each other batshit crazy, but the truth of it was, Noah had saved me in so many ways.
Before him, I'd been a lonely girl lost in a parentless world, struggling to fit in, and not knowing my place in the world.
He stood against me on so many things. We hardly agreed on anything. But that fire inside of me, the one that burned brightest in his presence, oh god, that fire was addictive. I spent a lot of time being mad at him, and with him, for things that were beyond his control.
He couldn't change a lot of things, but he loved me through them.
I guess I realized now that was what mattered most in this life.
In another world, in another lifetime, I knew he would be there in some shape or form. We didn't choose this. It chose us. He loved me and I loved him and it had nothing to do with choices. It just was. Like an inbuilt mechanism inside of us, we are two sides of the same coin, destined to be with each other. Even if we didn't want to be. I now knew that there was no point in trying to fight my feelings. My life, and every path I had been on and would take from here on out would inevitably lead me back to Noah.
So here we were, all these years later, still a hot mess, still in love, still struggling to find our way in this confusing world. I didn't know where I fit in, or what my purpose was, but I knew that whatever it was, it would be with Noah by my side.
He was everything I never knew I wanted and in him I had found everything I had longed for my e
ntire life.
Acceptance.
Security.
Love.
Passion.
He was there, like he had been put on this world to be my other half.
To be the other part of me.
He was my unwelcome hero and I was his unwanted weakness....
Chapter One
Teagan
When I came to, I was in a sterile smelling room with a truckload of beeping monitors surrounding me.
Blinking rapidly to clear my blurred vision, I jerked upwards only to halt in my tracks when a sharp pain shot up my left hand.
Looking down, I stifled a muted groan when I noticed the IV plastered to the back of my hand.
Instantly, a tirade of vivid images and unwelcome memories flooded me.
Sweat beaded on my lip as I forced myself to make sense of what had happened. Images of bloodied corpses and bullet holes infiltrated my mind, bringing with them the voice that would haunt me until the day I died – the threat that promised that day wouldn’t be too far into the future.
“…And you're next," the man taunted, smiling cruelly at me as the officers led him from the room. "We've got something special in place for you, bitch...”
Clenching the bedsheets with my fists, I inhaled a shaky breath and craned my neck to one side.
My eyes honed in on my sleeping husband in the armchair beside my bed and I almost lost it. He was still wearing that bloodied white shirt – though it was unbuttoned now and hanging open, revealing a fresh looking sling encasing his right arm.
He looked like hell.
Dark circles surrounded his eyes. His jaw was covered in a few days' worth of stubble and I was afraid to wake him. I was petrified to see those brown eyes look at me after what had happened.
How was he feeling?
Would he blame me for what happened back in the hotel?
Was I to blame?
I should have kept my mouth shut.
No, what I should have said last night was, "Noah, I'm scared. Promise you won't leave me." Instead, I'd managed to turn my fear and anxiety into a man hunt that had resulted in an innocuous blood bath of death and pain.
Tommy…
A strange sound drew me from my thoughts, and I held perfectly still as I strained to hear where the sound of horse hoofs galloping was coming from.
When I realized it was coming from my body, a broken sob of relief tore from my throat.
"You’re okay!" I felt my body sag in relief as I dropped my hand to cup my stomach. I couldn’t feel anything, but I could hear it.
My baby's heartbeat filled the room and it was the most comforting sound I had ever heard.
"I love you already," I told the child growing inside of me, feeling my heart swell so hard I thought it might burst. Sniffling, I laid my head back on my pillow and sighed.
"Thorn."
Startled by the sound of that pet name on my husband's lips, I jumped and my hand clamped tightly around my stomach. Turning to face him, I forced a smile. "Hey."
The relief in Noah's eyes was genuine and wholehearted as he scrambled out of his chair.
In two steps he had claimed the space between us and embraced me in his arms.
"Thank fuck, baby," he whispered, voice raw and torn, from above me. His was shaking, visibly shaking, and I frowned in concern. "I was so damn worried about you." He kissed my lips before stroking my nose with his. "You've been out since yesterday."
"I have?"
Noah smiled though it didn’t meet his eyes. "Yeah, Thorn. I almost lost my damn mind waiting for you to open those pretty eyes of yours."
"Sorry," I choked out, unsure of what else to say. "God, I'm so tired." It felt like my eyelids were being dragged down by cement blocks. I could hardly keep them open.
"You were seriously dehydrated," he replied softly. "You're bound to feel shattered."
"What about you?" I asked, clutching his broad back with my hand. "You were shot?" My heart began to race at an alarming pace. The memory of Noah covering my body with his, and the bright red blood spreading across his white shirt filled my mind with terror. "God, Noah, they shot you."
"I'm fine," he was quick to reply, quick to ease my quaking nerves. "It went straight through."
"What did the doctor say?" I demanded, not taking his vague answer as a valid one. "Have you had surgery?" I pushed against his huge chest, striving to look into his eyes. "Did they remove all the fragments?" I swallowed a mouthful of bile at the thought of doctors opening my husband up. "I've been so worried about you."
"So worried?" Noah cocked a brow and grinned broadly. "Thorn, you've been snoring your little ass off."
"In my sleep then," I shot back, flushed. "I was worrying about you in my dreams."
"Thorn, I'm okay." Shrugging, Noah added, "I'll be out of fighting action for few weeks while my shoulder heals, but that's all."
"That's all?" I gaped at him. "Someone shot you." I felt like I had said this a million times, but still, I repeated it. "You were shot." Did he not get it? He didn’t look like he got it. "They could have killed you," I added, hearing the cut up emotion in my voice. "I almost lost you back there, you know."
"Well, you didn’t."
"No," I spat. "I didn’t, but you could show some kind of emotion about the whole thing."
"Like what?"
"I don’t know," I growled. "How about showing some awareness of how serious this is, asshole."
Noah cocked a brow in amusement. "Wow, you're awake all of five minutes and already you're throwing insults at me." Sitting down on the side of my bed, he leaned over my body and smirked. "Glad to see you're okay."
"Yeah well," I huffed, folding my arms across my chest. "I'm pregnant, but I'm still me."
"It's a girl, Thorn," he added, smiling tenderly down at me, his entire focus on my face. "We're having a daughter."
Right there and then my mind was blown.
"A girl?" I dropped my gaze to my stomach and then back to Noah's face. Tears filled my eyes as I let out a half laugh, half sob in utter relief. "It's a girl?"
Noah nodded. "She's perfect, baby. Twenty weeks."
I shook my head as I desperately tried to take it all in.
So much had happened in such a short space of time…
"I…huh?" My mouth fell open. "Twenty weeks?"
What the hell was wrong with me?
How had I not known there was a baby growing inside of my body for the past five months?
"She's okay?" I choked out, panicking. "You're sure she's okay?"
"I'm sure." Noah let out a haggard sigh. "Saw her myself on the ultrasound."
I let those words settle into my mind for a moment, and enjoyed the feeling of relief that flooded through me, before another worry set in.
Tilting my face upwards, I looked up at my husband. The pain in his eyes took my breath away. The dark circles under his eyes and the worry lines on his face made my heart hurt. He was in pain. And I was drowning in guilt. "Do you hate me?"
"Hate you?" Noah looked haggard as he leaned over me, stroking the side of my face with his huge calloused hand. The hand that had mere hours before inflicted pain on his opponent in the cage. "Jesus, Thorn," he grumbled, his voice raspy and thick from unshed emotion. "The shit you say…"
"You know what I mean," I forced myself to argue. Reaching up, I cupped his hand with mine and sighed. The warmth emanating from his touch was soothing on more levels than I cared to understand. "I meant do you blame me?" Blinking slowly, I made eye contact with my husband and held his stare. "For you and Tommy… finishing on bad terms."
Finishing?
What the hell was wrong with me?
Noah's best friend had been brutally murdered in front of him and I had used the word finished?
Someone needed to buy me a mouth gag.
Noah's eyes clouded over. The shutters I was so used to seeing slam down, denying me and everyone else the opportunity to see his vulnerability, closed firmly in my face. "Y
ou didn’t pull the trigger, Teagan."
Teagan.
I shuddered.
Usually, Noah called me Thorn.
Calling me by my full name meant he was pissed.
Big time.
"Noah…"
"I don’t want to talk about it," he snapped, cutting me off quickly.
"You have to talk about it," I argued gently.
"Talk about what? About the fact that the people I love get hurt? Because that's what happens around me, Teagan. People get hurt and people get killed." His voice was broken – the same as his spirit. He was bristling with unreleased rage.
"Yeah," I urged, wanting him to go deeper. "Come on, Noah. Tell me what's in your head," I added. "Get it out."
"You don't want to know."
"Try me."
"I'm waiting," he told me, jaw clenched, brown eyes blazing.
My brow scrunched up in confusion. "Waiting?"
"Yeah." He sat back and folded his arms across his chest. "Waiting to see who's next."
Awareness dawned on me. He meant who would be next to get hurt. Or worse. "Noah, you can't think like that…"
"Will it be Kyle?" He interrupted. Tension was emanating from him. "Or Lee?" His large frame visibly shook as he spoke. "Or one of the triplets? Or you…" His words caught in his throat. "They won't make this easy for me, Teagan. They're going to make me sorry." Growling, Noah ran a hand through his hair. The noise that tore from his throat was like that of a wounded animal. "I made it fucking easy for them."
"How?" I demanded, not feeding into this bullshit one bit. "By being human?"
My husband glared at me. "I shouldn't have…"