Kinsley realized that he truly believed what he was saying. He believed that he could move past the idea that she’d had sex with another man. As long as they could just pretend that it didn’t happen. That they could just move on.
“No, Carl. We can’t get back to the plan,” she said gently. She started to reach for him, to touch his arm, but she pulled away. The wounded look in Lincoln’s eyes when he’d pulled away stabbed at her heart. She needed to get to him, to call him and explain. But she also needed to get Carl to understand that they weren’t going to get back together. Ever!
“The plan was good, Kinsley. I know that I teased you about that. And I won’t anymore. You love organizing things and I’m fine with that. I’ll propose exactly how you wanted me to. I saw the beautiful wedding gown in your closet, honey. It’s gorgeous. The pearls all over the bodice and the draping down the front…it’s perfect. You’ll look perfect in it.”
Kinsley wanted to cry. Carl was a good man, she thought. He just…wasn’t the right man. Not for her.
“Carl, I should…” she stopped, as his words registered. “Wait. You looked in my closet?”
He shrugged, shoving his hands into the pockets of his starched, khaki slacks. “I wanted to know what was going on, Kinsley. I hadn’t heard from you in weeks. We’ve never gone that long without talking before.”
Suppressing the anger at further evidence of his invasion of her privacy, she took a moment to calm down. When she felt more in control, she looked at him. “Carl, you shouldn’t have gone into my apartment, but I guess I can understand why you did. But going into my closet, going through my clothes, that was beyond creepy.”
He looked at her with pleading eyes. “I needed to know what was going on with you, Kinsley.”
“We broke up, Carl. I told you that I didn’t love you. Not the way that a wife needs to love her husband.”
“We can make it work, Kin! I can get you back to that those feelings for me.”
She shook her head. “No, Carl. I never loved you that way.” Not the way she loved Lincoln, she thought, but kept that to herself. The feelings she had, always felt, for Carl were warm and kind. What she felt for Lincoln? He made her laugh and burn and…just thinking about him made her tingle, as if she were in fire.
“You’re thinking about him right now, aren’t you?” he demanded furiously.
Kinsley jerked back to the present and blinked at Carl. “Yes, Carl. He’s on my mind. I think about him a lot. Pretty much all the time.”
“And…” he swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing with the effort. “You had sex with him?”
She shook her head. “Carl, just as I would never disrespect you by telling anyone about our personal details, I won’t do that to Lincoln either.”
“Just tell me! It’s been driving me crazy, thinking about you in his arms!”
She turned and headed towards the stairs. “We’re through Carl. I’m so sorry that I hurt you, but it’s over and you need to accept it.”
He groaned, but Kinsley kept going. She wanted to call Lincoln. She wanted to see him and tell him that what Carl said wasn’t right. Well, it was right, but not why she’d had sex with him. Right now, she just knew that Lincoln was furious with her. Furious and hurt and…she just couldn’t handle that!
Stepping into her apartment, she didn’t care about the dust or the stale smell after having been gone for so long. She grabbed her cell phone out of her purse and dialed Linc’s phone. But he didn’t answer. “Please pick up!” she whispered as she dialed again.
Nothing!
Grabbing her car keys, she sped over to his house. It was late, but she just had to talk to him! She had to!
Unfortunately, he’d closed the gates to his “compound” and wouldn’t answer the bell.
I refuse to give up on us, she decided as she turned her car around.
But he didn’t answer his phone on Sunday. By Monday, she was frantic to talk to him, wondering if she had a job. But, she didn’t care about her job anywhere near as much as she cared about Linc.
Lincoln stared out the window into the darkness, trying to forget about Kinsley. But the image of her standing there in the parking lot with Carl was burned into his mind. The image, plus the words…had she had sex with him just to get him out of her system?
That’s what Carl had said. Lincoln never would have thought that of Kinsley. Again, he was torn between his belief of her innate honesty and the reality of what Carl had said. But this time, she hadn’t denied those words.
Muttering curses as he went, he stomped out of his house and down the path to the warehouse. Inside, he flipped on the lights and started pulling pieces together. Tools, nuts bolts, cylinders, switches…he didn’t really care what he was building. He just needed to focus on something other than Kinsley in Carl’s arms. Kinsley kissing Carl. Carl and Kinsley making love. Or even worse, Kinsley in that pearl encrusted wedding dress. He’d never even seen the damn thing. He just knew what it looked like from Kinsley’s description of it. Carl would look like an ass in a morning suit, Lincoln thought disgustedly. He’d look like a fool, but if that’s what Kinsley wanted, she could be married to the fool for the rest of her damn life! It was none of his business.
Lincoln had no idea what time it was. The screwdriver slipped from his fingers, the edge slicing through the skin on his thumb but he ignored the pain and kept working. Several scrapes later, he tossed his tools away in disgust. Glancing at the time, he swore under his breath. Kinsley would be here soon to start work. He walked over to the computer in the corner of his workroom and pressed some buttons. He’d thought about firing her, but that wasn’t right. She hadn’t promised him anything. And she was a damn good assistant.
So instead, he sent her an e-mail with a list of things he needed her to do, then headed back up to his house.
An hour later, he heard the beep coming from his security system indicating that she’d entered the warehouse. Then a second beep sounded when she opened the door to his workroom. He resisted for all of two seconds before he walked over to the security console and flipped on the cameras. Sure enough, Kinsley was standing in his workroom. She didn’t touch anything, which he appreciated. But he could see the defeated slump in her shoulders. He watched as she headed into her office. He didn’t have cameras in her office, considering it an invasion of privacy, so he couldn’t see her any longer.
But he watched when she took her lunch out to the pergola, sitting for several minutes with a large bag in her lap.
For a moment, he considered joining her. They’d spent so much time together, and the least he could do was share lunch. She’d obviously brought enough for two, reverting back to their previous schedule of sharing lunches.
But before he could make up his mind, she stood up and, without eating, walked back into the warehouse. He saw her walk through the workroom and back into her office, head still bowed.
She didn’t leave the office for the rest of the afternoon. He knew because he stared at the console, watching for her.
At five o’clock, she left. From the exterior cameras, he watched her get into her silver Prius and drive away, but he couldn’t see her expression.
For a long time, he didn’t move. Didn’t think. He was too angry still, so he just stood there in the silence of his house.
Finally, he went back down to his workroom and continued…he might have gotten some work done, but the reality was that he mostly just damaged his hands some more.
Chapter 17
Five days. Kinsley stepped through her apartment door on Friday night, her heart heavy as she wondered what Lincoln was doing now. She hadn’t seen him in five days and her whole body hurt with longing to just…talk to him. To explain.
Carl had come by a few times, but she’d explained again that even if she didn’t ever find happily ever after with Lincoln, she still wouldn’t marry Carl. She didn’t love him. After being with Lincoln, she knew what real love could and should be and it wasn’t the lu
kewarm, comfortable feeling she felt for Carl. Real love, the kind of love that could sustain a couple for the next forty or fifty years, was the stuff that she felt for Lincoln. It was the kind of love that made her ready to do practically anything to be with him.
Standing in the middle of her apartment, she looked around, heartbroken that she’d done this to Lincoln. She hadn’t been clear enough with Carl and she’d hurt Lincoln’s feelings to the point where he wouldn’t even come into work.
Oh, she knew that he was tinkering with something. She’d seen the…whatever it was…on his worktable. Kinsley never knew what he might be building or tweaking.
But he wouldn’t come in while she was there. Which meant she either needed to do something to change the situation, or she needed to resign.
The idea of never seeing Lincoln again, of not laughing with him or making love with him, was simply not a future she could contemplate. She had to do something. And whatever it was, it had to be brazenly clear that she loved him and only him.
But what could she do?
Walking into her bedroom, she slipped off her shoes and placed them carefully in her closet. But as she did that, her fingers slid against the plastic cover of her wedding dress. Standing up, she took the dress out of the closet and unzipped the bag, pushing it out of the way. With tears sliding down her cheeks, she stripped off her clothes and put on the wedding dress. It still fit, although it was a bit loose around the waist. “Not a surprise,” she muttered as she turned to look at herself in the mirror.
She still loved this dress. It was perfect in every way. The long sleeves fit her arms and the waist nipped in, making her appear almost ethereal. The satin skimmed down over her hips to fall down to the floor in a graceful sweep.
Kinsley pulled her hair up and slipped the veil over her head. The veil was the perfect foil for the dress. She couldn’t count the number of nights she’d pictured herself in this dress, walking down the aisle towards…not Carl. It had never been Carl in her dreams. Before meeting Lincoln, the man waiting for her at the end of the aisle had been a blurry male form.
“No!” she said to the silence of her apartment. Looking around, she huffed a bit, pacing back and forth.
Picking up her cell phone, she skimmed through several possibilities. When she finally came up with an idea, she looked at herself in the mirror. Because she hadn’t pulled her hair up with pins and hairspray, the veil was not properly anchored and was askew. And her dress…it was beautiful but…
Carefully, she slipped out of the dress and veil, returning them to the closet, safely stored in the garment bag.
Then she grabbed her suitcase and started packing. Now that she had a plan in mind, she knew what she had to do. It was dramatic and daring…and if it didn’t work, she would be crushed. But the pain of her plan failing couldn’t be any worse than what she’d gone through over the past several days.
With trembling fingers, she typed the address into her GPS, made sure that she had a full tank of gas, checked the passenger seat to make sure she had her purse and her cell phone and…!
Kinsley was doing it! She drove out of her apartment parking lot and headed for Lincoln’s place. She had a note already written and, when she arrived, she didn’t even bother to try the door. She simply taped the note to the door, glanced up at the camera, then drove off again.
Five minutes later, she was on the highway, heading out of Seattle.
Chapter 18
Lincoln watched as Kinsley’s sensible Prius taillights faded off in the distance. Watching her had become some sort of weird, voyeuristic pleasure. Since he wouldn’t allow himself the pleasure of being with her, he survived off glimpses of her in the security cameras.
That last glance, her eyes…what did it mean?
What had she left on the door to the warehouse?
Unable to resist finding out, he set down the beer he hadn’t been drinking and hurried down the pathway to the front door of the warehouse. Sure enough, the piece of paper was there.
And on it was just a time and…not an address. Coordinates? Yes, that made sense.
Crushing the paper in his fist, he walked back up to the house, determined to ignore the note. It wasn’t even a proper note. Just a bunch of numbers!
He was able to ignore it for thirty minutes. After that, he couldn’t stop himself from fishing it from the trash and smoothing it out. Taking his phone, he looked up the coordinates. But when he saw where they led, he still didn’t understand. Maybe she’d made a mistake?
No, Kinsley didn’t make mistakes!
She was meticulous!
“What the hell are you doing, Kinsley?”
The following morning, after another sleepless night, he grabbed the paper and his truck keys. He didn’t bother to pack anything. He wasn’t going to stay. He just…Lincoln needed to make sure that she was okay.
He called ahead to the airport and arranged for a flight. So by the time he pulled into the parking lot at the airport, a private plane was gassed up and waiting for him.
“Good morning, Mr. Meyers,” the pilot called out, tipping his hat as Lincoln climbed the short flight of stairs to the interior of the jet.
“Good morning. Are we ready to go?”
The flight attendant smiled politely. “We’re ready when you are, sir,” she replied. “Do you have any luggage?”
He shook his head. “No. I’m ready,” he flung himself into one of the large, leather seats, and secured his seat belt.
The pilot took off his hat, saying, “We should be in the air in five minutes, sir. It’s only a two hour flight after that.”
“Thank you,” Lincoln said, but he really needed everyone to shut up and leave him alone. Worry was eating at him, making him conjure images of Kinsley alone in a strange city. In her sensible Prius. Alone! Damn it, what the hell was she doing?!
Was Carl with her? Was that what this was about?
He almost told the pilot to turn around. The idea of seeing that ass, watching him touch Kinsley, was just too nauseating.
But in the off chance that she wasn’t with him, he needed to make sure that she was safe.
He picked up his cell phone and texted her. No response.
“Damn it! What are you doing?!”
Two hours later, he stepped off of the plane. “Which way to the taxi stand?” he asked of the pilot, wishing that he’d paused long enough to grab his sunglasses.
“Why don’t you use my car?” the pilot said, pointing out a town car sitting on the tarmac.
Lincoln didn’t hesitate. He dove into the back of the black town car and gave the driver the coordinates, then leaned back against the soft leather seat, still trying to figure out what Kinsley was doing.
Kinsley paced along the hallway, her heels clicking against the marble and her hands sweating so badly, she was ruining the ribbon.
“Please, please come!” she muttered, then turned and paced the other way.
Glancing at the time, she knew that he was already five minutes late. Was he going to come? Or had she just made a monumental, very expensive mistake?
She’d just turned to pace the other way when she spotted a tall, handsome, broad shouldered man heading towards her. He wore worn jeans and a tee shirt from a Motley Crew concert from the eighties. But goodness, he looked magnificent! He hadn’t even shaved! Her heart swelled with love and hope.
“What the hell is going on, Kinsley?” Lincoln demanded. “Are you getting married? Is Carl here? Did you decide you needed to rub my face in your wedding day?”
She smiled up at him, although she suspected that the smile was a bit tremulous. “Yes. No. And no.”
He blinked, sighed heavily, then ran a hand over his scruffy chin. He looked as if he hadn’t shaved in about a week!
“What the hell is this about?” he demanded.
Kinsley pulled her hand away and fumbled inside the small purse she carried. Pulling out a pair of plain, platinum bands, each with a simple diamond, she gazed up at h
im. “I was never in love with Carl, Lincoln. I didn’t know that until I met you and realized what real love was like. When I stepped into your warehouse, I couldn’t believe what a magnificent man you were. From that moment on, I never stopped thinking about you.” She emphasized that last word. “I broke up with Carl because I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I never agreed to have sex with you in order to get you out of my system and go back to Carl. I never meant to have sex with you at all!” Because he didn’t laugh, she inched closer, reminding herself that she had to be different. She had to be bold.
“I love you, Lincoln. I love you with all of my heart.”
Lincoln stared down at her, his heart pounding in his chest. “That dress isn’t covered with pearls,” he commented.
Kinsley stepped back, one hand reaching out to smooth down the soft white dress. It had a V neck, halter top style bodice which flowed out and around her body, stopping right above her knees. She also wore white satin heels. Plain. No pearls. No embellishments. No veil.
And her flowers were… “Bitterroot?” he asked, remembering that morning in Montana when he’d picked the flowers for her. She’d been so fresh and alive, so sensuously glorious!
“Yes. I love them,” she said, gently touching one of the pink flowers that were wrapped with a blue ribbon.
“This isn’t the wedding you imagined.”
She stepped closer still. “No. It’s not the wedding I imagined. But it’s the wedding of my dreams because I’m marrying the man I’m madly in love with.” She swallowed hard, her eyes shimmering with tears. “As long as you are willing to marry me.”
He muttered a curse, shaking his head. “Kinsley, I…”
“I love you!” she whispered, emphasizing that last word. “Not Carl. Just you! I love you!”
He groaned, and pulled her into his arms. “Damn it, Kinsley! What have you done to me?” he muttered, burying his face against the sweet scent of her hair.
One More Kiss (Forsaken Sons Book 1) Page 14