by Anna Collins
“The father who raised me made me into the woman I am today. It would go against everything he taught me to take somebody’s life for my own selfish purpose. He would try to convince me otherwise, but I think we would both know I couldn’t do that. I want to hate Spencer, but he was only doing what came naturally to him. He probably lost hope and then somehow he got the wind he might have a daughter. I don’t know what brought him to this conclusion, but I have to believe he had some damning evidence to make him take this kind of action,” I said not believing I was giving him the benefit of the doubt after everything he had done to me.
“You are a better woman than I. I told you my morality was coming back, but it’s still not strong enough for me to think if I were in your position I wouldn’t turn the blade on Spencer in a New York second. I don’t love him. I thought I did at one time, but I know I was using him as a substitute for the one who got away,” Leslie said with this soothing elevator music playing in the background.
“I don’t know about you, Leslie, but I’m getting a little worried about Tristan’s absence,” I said with this desperate need to go searching for him.
“The one thing you can count on from Tristan is that he can take care of himself. I’ve seen the way he handles himself, and this comes from a kind of strict training regimen neither one of us would ever be able to withstand. I thought about going into the armed forces, but I never could wrap my mind around fighting an enemy who might be innocent. They say collateral damage is necessary in any war, but I have always believed peace was better than fighting. I have done my best to go to rallies to support a peaceful negotiation to any outcome,” Leslie said as she waited for the results and knew it was a 50/50 chance I was going to find out what I believed about myself was a lie.
The only thing that could allow me to have any kind of peace of mind was thinking of Tristan and the way his body felt pressed up against me. The taste of his lips touching mine had me wanting one more time. The feel of his hands roaming freely and giving me a reason to give into those carnal desires burning deep down inside was the only thing keeping me going. It was the building crescendo of thrust after thrust between my legs which had both of us crying out in an orgasmic joy and had me wondering if maybe I had thrown myself at him because of the poison running through my veins.
“You don’t know the half of what Tristan has been through to say something like that. He has gone through his own personal hell. He had nobody there but his own convictions. I see a different man than who I remember. I know you don’t know what I’m talking about and to you it’s out of context. Suffice to say, we have known each other longer than I had realized. I know he has seen things that will keep him awake at night. We can sit in judgment, but we weren’t there. We can say we would have done things differently, but bravery doesn’t come from anything more than the fear of losing one’s life,” I said defending Tristan and wondering why I was doing such a thing.
“I didn’t mean to ruffle any feathers, but I just want you to know I wasn’t always like this. Spencer changed me, and I’m not sure it was for the better. He is one sick and demented man when it comes to being with him behind closed doors. There are times I have to scrub myself raw just to feel clean again. There are also times I like the idea of pushing the envelope. For the most part, I’m very happy with Spencer. However, there are those brief moments I swear I could leave him in my rearview mirror and never look back,” Leslie said as I felt this sense of immense anticipation in the air like something was going to happen; it made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.
There had to be something quite remarkable in that locket around Spencer’s neck. I wanted to get a look at it, but there was a part of me that didn’t want to know. It was the fear of seeing my mother’s face again next to him which was going to leave me with a bad taste in my mouth.
“He does have a tendency to bring those kinds of feelings to the surface. I wonder how everything got so crazy. I’m not sure I’m just tired or lazy, but I’m feeling the heaviness of what I have been fighting catching up with me. It’s funny how things can change. The girl I used to be is but a whisper of who I am today. I don’t know if I can ever go back to the way I was. I have a business, and it was my life, but now it all seems so pointless. I know this sounds maudlin and that I’m giving up, but that’s never been further from the truth,” I said looking in on myself, realizing the ugly mirror image was different from the one I had seen before I had gotten the news.
“After what you have been through, it’s a wonder you’re still standing, let alone fighting back and scratching tooth and nail to find a cure. You may have changed, but I think for the most part you’re just prioritizing. It’s a reaction everybody goes through when they feel their life is coming to an end. I’ve seen it time and time again. Every time I’m in a position of giving that kind of bad news, I always feel like there’s something I should have been able to say to lessen the blow. They always seem to retreat into themselves and then they come out swinging. Those who don’t make it come to me on their deathbed and tell me they used those last days to actually live for the first time. They claimed that having a death sentence was the best thing they could have had to reinvent themselves. I always thought they were lying to themselves, but maybe I didn't see what they were through their eyes,” Leslie said as I looked back towards the door one more time to see Tristan had still not returned.
I walked over to the entrance, looking down the hallway and there was this eerie silence which felt like it was going to be punctuated by something disturbing at any moment. I wanted to believe he could take care of himself, but these kinds of odds were against him in every way. He might have thought he was invincible, but he still bled, and that meant he could die. It would be a painful lesson to learn. I had me chasing my tail for a cure which might not ever be anything more than a pipe dream.
“I do see the logic in what you are saying, but I believe people get what they put into life. I thought I had it all including the kind of hot loving from a man I never thought was possible. I could die knowing these last few days have been the most exciting of my life. I want to change things. I want to be a better version of me. The only way I can do that is to live to fight another day,” I said feeling like my skin was crawling, hoping that seeing him again would help to alleviate the feeling something was wrong.
I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw his face standing at the door. I noticed his hands were not visible and that something was wrong. He wasn’t smiling, and I could tell his fighting spirit had been given a boost. This was a man who wasn’t ready to lay down his arms. Tristan had this determination in his eyes, but he also knew he was in a tough position. I could tell he was trying to tell me something. He didn’t say anything and continued to stare at me. That was a sure sign somebody was keeping him from alerting us to danger.
Chapter 22
I could see somebody standing behind Tristan, and the way he was nudged forward gave the impression there was a weapon pushed into the small of his back. It wasn’t all that surprising to see Spencer holding him against his will. There was a deep gash over Tristan’s eye.
“I don’t want you to listen to them, Leslie. I imagine they have made me out to be some kind of monster, but I’ve only done what I had to. You know me well enough to understand I don’t take anything lying down. I push through any obstacle, run over anybody getting in my way, and I don’t have any problem doing it. If you were so kind, I would ask respectively you stood away from the microscope,” Spencer said wearing something I had only seen once in passing at a very expensive thousand dollar dinner.
That white shirt had diamonds on the cuffs and the studs. The studs had colored diamonds, and the cufflinks were made of clear and brilliant carrots. It was an 80th anniversary Eton original. This was a Swedish Company which produced nothing but the finest in Egyptian cotton; it would swaddle and make you feel as if you were in the presence of heaven personified.
He waved the Lugar, an old w
eapon which had to feel right at home in his nimble fingers. He was not very subtle about his intentions. Leslie believed he was bluffing and stood up against him staying exactly where she was under the microscope. The gun went off and the chair she was on went flying backward as she stood and looked at him with grave concern.
“I thought they were lying about you being capable of such malevolent actions. Deep down, I saw some inkling of a human lurking where only I could see him. I knew there was something you were keeping from me, but I convinced myself I was paranoid. I stuck my head in the sand, became blind to your ambition and what you would do to ultimately survive. Would you like to clear up a few misconceptions? I get this feeling you don’t want to know the answer,” Leslie said with her hands in the air, showing there was no weapon she would be able to use against him.
“I haven’t got to where I am today by playing it safe, I have always gone a little outside the box, coloring outside the edges and doing what others couldn’t do. I know I ruin lives, take food out of children’s mouths, but I don’t think I have the capacity to care. I do love you, but it won’t prevent me from killing you if you stand in my way. Of course, I don’t want to know the answer. I’m sure in some small way Willa would agree with me. We were both happy being oblivious. I like to think we are better off not knowing,” Spencer said with the gun once again where I couldn’t see it.
The shoes he was wearing were ostentatious. He really did know what a sought after commodity in the fashion world was. Those crimson shoes were a testament to Andy Warhol. They really did stand out and were said to cost almost $2000. I gave credit to Tristan for being a bit more subtle when it came to waving his money around.
“Speak for yourself, Spencer. You’re right. It might be a good idea we both remained oblivious. But I can’t do that when my curiosity has piqued. You don’t have to do anything rash. You have the power, and this has never been more evident than the way you’re smug and cocksure about yourself. Normally, I would find this character trait off-putting, but on you, it works somehow. I would love to say I hate you for bringing me here for your selfish reasons, but I can’t do that. I look at how we both have suffered, and I think I would do anything for a sense of relief. I have been pushed too far,” I said looking him in his eyes, hoping I would see something I would recognize.
“If I were to be completely honest, I would have to admit I was a little shocked learning of your existence. Tristan was the one who made me aware of you. If you have anybody to blame, it’s him for putting out those feelers. I got one look at you, and it didn’t take me long to see your mother’s eyes looking back. It gave me a form of heated anger, but then hope emerged for a new day,” Spencer said as he stepped forward in those Berluti shoes. It was a bold statement to make.
“I thought I knew you better than this, Spencer. You’ve always been a little closed off, but I really did believe I was reaching you. This illness stopped you in your tracks and made you see what you were doing to others was only harming yourself. Do what you want to, but I’m going to sit back down and see what the results are for my own eyes,” Leslie said as she took a step forward and once again the gun went off.
The impact of it against her shoulder threw her against the wall and made her slump down until she was lying there with her hand on her shoulder looking at the blood like it was a foreign entity. She was stunned, and the expression on her face turned towards Spencer was not for the faint of heart. He claimed to love her, but he just shot her to prevent her from finding out if our bloodline was the same.
“You of all people should know better than to push me into a corner and not expect me to come out like a mad dog salivating. You’re lucky I didn’t kill you. Take solace in the fact that it’s only a flesh wound. I’m excellent at shooting a gun. I may have pretended otherwise, but my aim has never been on trial,” Spencer said as he turned the gun back on Tristan before he could do anything to turn the tables.
“I…I…I can’t believe you just shot me. What kind of man would do this to somebody they say they loved? I don’t care if it is a flesh wound. You used extreme force to get your point across. I’m a little perplexed at where this leaves us. You can’t possibly believe I would stay after you did something like this. I don’t think anybody could. There’s a line you don’t cross, and you just crossed it. I thought I would have to worry about jealousy and you being with other women. I…I… never imagined you would take things this far,” Leslie said as she took off her lab coat and used it as a way to stop the blood.
“There are days I hate myself more than words can convey. I have this case of insomnia keeping me walking the halls of this place like a specter of the night. I know what I do affects my sleep. It’s a small price to pay for the kind of power I hold in the palm of my hand. I could make or break nations with the way I play the market every day. It’s up to me to decide how to shift the balance of power. I am able to think straight for the first time since I was poisoned by an unnamed enemy,” Spencer said with Tristan in a terrible position; one that made me see him about to do something drastic to change his set of circumstances.
I tried to implore him not to do anything to get him killed using only my eyes. I wasn’t sure we were connected in a way we would see what the other was thinking without having to use words. I stared at him shooting daggers, hoping he would understand there was a way out of this without using violence. I was trying to be diplomatic, speaking soothing tones to prevent Spencer from acting as he was against all the odds.
“I saved your life, and this is the thanks I get. A bullet in the shoulder for all of my hard work doesn’t seem like a good reward. A nice necklace from Tiffany would have gone a long way. Shooting me wasn’t your only recourse,” Leslie said with her teeth clenched in obvious pain to the bullet which had gone through one side and out the other.
That old gun had life in it after all of these years. It was an antique, but he had taken care of it as if it was his baby. I had seen him cleaning it the other night. I wanted to get a closer look. I had always been fascinated by those instruments which could do that kind of harm to a human body. Humans were their own worst enemies. We kill each other over petty details like religion and honor.
“Let’s talk about this and find a way out which doesn’t involve all of us dead at your feet. Don’t you think this has gone far enough? I don’t mean to put you on the spot, Spencer, but the truth always comes out. This is your chance to get ahead of it. We don’t know the answer. We may suspect we are father and daughter, but there is no actual proof to say one way or the other. The proof we need is in Leslie’s hands. You acted impulsively and maybe this one time you should have been more patient,” I said going over to Leslie, checking to see that the pressure she had put on the wound had done what it was intended to do.
I helped her to her feet, hearing her groan in pain, but still able to stand. I looked at Spencer and wanted him to know I was going to be the one to stand in his way. He needed to change his mind about this whole thing and the best way to do that was to throw in his face I might be his daughter. I shielded Leslie by standing in front of her like a human barricade.
“You’re going to have to go through me to get to her. Be sure this is the hand you want to play. I might be the one person who you can count on when the chips are down. I might be the only one you can pass your legacy onto who doesn’t hate your guts. You don’t have any kids. This is your one opportunity to find out what it is like to be a father. The only way to know for sure is to give Leslie some room to work,” I said afraid for my life, wondering if his mind was as sharp as a knife.
“I know what you are trying to do. If I can shoot Leslie a woman who shared my bed with me all of these months, then don’t you think I can do the same to you? You can’t be that naive to believe for a second family means anything to me. My own father was a deceitful old bastard who took out his frustrations on mother and me. I never wanted to bring a child into the world. I’ve seen how people act and I’ve watched with di
sinterest as the world burned by its own hand,” Spencer said with the gun now trained on Tristan’s shoulder and his other hand holding onto the back of Tristan’s shirt.
“I don’t know you. I didn’t have any interest in learning anything about you, but this was before finding out about our possible connection. If I have the same blood running through my veins as you do, then I feel it’s important to get to know you. Nothing can last forever. Life is fleeting. Old age and death are inevitable. The only thing we can count on in this life is our moral compass. Yours has been damaged. You never had anybody to call you on your actions,” I said hoping I was giving Leslie enough time to finish what she had started.
“That’s very good. It’s a tactic I have used myself several times. You are purposely trying to engage me and make a personal connection. If you make it personal enough, you’ll prevent me from killing you. That is your hope. A big part of the reason why you have taken it upon yourself to talk to me is that you want Leslie to have enough time to finish. I didn’t want to know you. I had no interest in having somebody who I could treat as an equal. I have changed my opinion. I look at you, and I see me staring back. You have a real gift others will underestimate and regret it. I don’t like this, and I would rather stay with the status quo than to upset the balance,” Spencer said as he motioned for Tristan to sit down with his arms still high above with his fingers interlocked behind his head. I didn’t want to let him go, and I was going to hold on to any vestige of hope I could find. I would tell Spencer anything he wanted to hear to prevent him from doing anything that was going to hurt my chances of living to see my fairy tale dream come true.