By the way, Bryan is not only a close friend, but also one of the funniest people I’ve ever known. At various times, he’s played pranks on me—from placing Vaseline on my dressing room doorknob, to putting gel in my telephone. (It’s OK, Bryan, I forgive you!…Boys will be boys!) And of course, I got him back!
Before I forget, I have to mention that one of the most enjoyable experiences I’ve had on the show is working with the boys who have played Sami’s son, Will. As you may know, when Sami gave birth to her baby, the infant was played by twin boys, Shawn and Taylor Carpenter, starting when they were just six weeks old. Over the years, I had a wonderful relationship with them, both in front of and behind the cameras. They are such sweet and special children, and it was so great watching them grow up. They were always a blast to work with, and quite amazingly, even at a very young age they seemed to know when to be quiet and when to let loose. They somehow knew when the cameras were rolling and when they needed to be silent. As they became older and they had lines to speak, it was sometimes hard to get them to talk because they were so used to being still and quiet. But everything changed as soon as they walked off the set; they became totally normal kids—running, shouting, playing games with us, and jumping all over Austin Peck as if he were a jungle gym. Like I said, boys will be boys!
In particular, I remember a scene I had with Shawn when the twins were just infants. The script called for me to become really emotional, crying hysterically, and speaking a long, tear-stained monologue while standing over him in his crib. Well, Shawn looked up and saw me crying, just as the script called for. But my tears really upset him, and he started crying and screaming, too. The two of us were quite a sight, each of us sobbing and bawling, as if trying to upstage one another!
Shawn, of course, had been used to seeing me laughing and joking, and certainly didn’t understand that I was only acting or pretending. Through my tears, I could see how frightened he was, and as the cameras continued to run, I instinctively reached down, picked him up and tried to comfort him. All the while, I continued speaking my lines, but tried to make them sound a little less painful so the baby would calm down. It actually made for a very powerful scene. As Sami, I was putting my child’s needs first, dealing sensitively with his emotions, no matter what I was going through.
I recall one particularly memorable episode not long after Lucas discovered that he was Will’s real dad. In this scene, Lucas leaped to the head of the class when it came to clumsiness. In the script, he dropped Will while roughhousing with him—specifically, while playing “airplane” with his son. (Don’t worry, no babies were harmed in the filming of this episode!) On the show, Sami became furious, convinced that the lump on Will’s head occurred when Lucas struck the boy in a drunken stupor. Sami, ever the protective mom, was so angry that she was determined to press charges.
No matter how evil or sinister Sami’s behavior has been at times, she has always absolutely adored her son. When it comes to being a mom, she’s the real deal! Even Sami has redeeming qualities!
Eventually, Shawn and Taylor fell victim to the “rapid aging syndrome,” where Days’ producers decided to replace the boys (at about age six) with a ten-year-old (the role of Will is now played by the adorable Christopher Gerse). It happens a lot in soap operas, where characters become several years older literally overnight. Once you agree to watch a soap opera, you agree to suspend rational thinking from time to time. (It happened to Sami, by the way, when the actress who played her before me—Christina Wagoner—left the show in 1992 at the age of nine, and I took over the role the following year when I was sixteen years old!). While they were on the show, Shawn and Taylor were wonderful to work with, and it was sad to see them leave.
A Little “Sibling” Support
Let me close this chapter talking about two other very important characters on Days of Our Lives. As you know, while I have two wonderful brothers in real life, I’m the only daughter in the family. But I’ve had two “sisters” on Days—Carrie and Belle—and I have felt very close to both of them. Of course, when you’re talking about Christie Clark (who played Carrie for many years), our characters were at each other’s throats for most of our time on the show together. But off camera, Christie definitely fulfilled the role of a surrogate sister. We spent a lot of time teasing and joking with one another about the amazing messes our characters got themselves into. In real life, however, I turned to Christie for advice on many occasions. I felt like I could tell her anything, and she definitely shared some of her own life experiences with me as well. (Thanks, Christie!)
And then there’s Kirsten Storms, who plays my little sister, Belle. We have a great and supportive relationship, and like any sibling, she asks for my advice from time to time about matters both on and off the small screen. I remember the time she had planned to cook dinner for her real-life boyfriend, and she asked for my help. Together, we came up with a menu—Kirsten told me what they liked to eat, we developed the recipes and all the ingredients, and I gave her advice on everything from chopping vegetables to sautéing. It was so cool to have her ask me, and it was so much fun to help.
That’s what friends (and “sisters”) are for.
We’re so lucky to enjoy this kind of camaraderie on the show, and it has always been that way. Just ask Frances Reid, who has been a mainstay on the show from the beginning. She was in the very first episode of Days (although as she points out, another actress played Alice Horton in the pilot for the show). Frances is such a wonderful woman and a talented actress, and I’ve been so fortunate to have worked with her for so many years.
From the beginning, when I was just a teenager, several of the show’s actors took me under their wing and became like older brothers to me. They looked out for me, always asking if I had any questions or concerns, and wanted to make sure I was enjoying the experience of being part of the large ensemble cast. Actors like Drake Hogestyn and Josh Taylor (ex-Roman) in particular played a very fatherly role. Drake, for example, who plays John Black, has always been so thoughtful and sincere in his interest in my experiences on Days and in my life in general. Drake is such a great dad in real life—he talks about his daughters and son all the time—and his caring and compassion sure come through in his work on the show. When Drake and I have scenes together, he has this wonderful paternal way about him, and while Sami is often being ruthless and bitchy, I end up thinking, “What a great dad! I can’t believe I’m so mean to him!”
Even I cringe once in a while at some of the meaner and more evil things that Sami says, especially to John and Marlena. Of course, at the same time that I’m thinking, “I can’t say that—it’s so mean!”, Melissa Reeves or Deidre Hall may tell me, “What do you mean, you don’t want to say that line—I wish I had lines like that.” They may relish the opportunity to be mean once in a while, whereas I’m mean all the time! Ah, the life of Sami!
Chapter 10
These are lean times in Hollywood.
No, I’m not referring to the scarcity of jobs that actors are up against, which relegate too many of my peers into unemployment lines or into gotta-pay-the-bills jobs as waitresses or temp secretaries. Instead, I’m thinking of a different kind of “lean times”—namely, the super-skinny actresses who are more razor-thin than ever these days, and are dying to be even leaner (in some cases, almost literally dying!). You know who I’m talking about—those actresses who nearly seem to disappear when they turn sideways, and whose daily caloric intake seems to be their answer to the question, “How low can you go?” Some of them look so fragile that an unexpected gust of wind just might take them for the ride of their lives!
Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating a little—but not by much. So many actresses are convinced that their career success depends on much more than their acting talents. The party line is that they better stay as skinny as possible for as long as possible because there are hundreds, perhaps thousands, of reed-thin actresses eager to take their place. As a result, the obsession with thinness has beco
me rampant throughout every part of the entertainment industry. True story.
Striving to be Hollywood-thin has been practically an obsession with me since I hit puberty. And as an actress who loves my job on Days of Our Lives and hopes to continue acting for many more years, I can’t ignore what casting agents are looking for—and it seems that for most roles, they’re hungering for the slimmest, most svelte actresses they can find. People say that the television camera makes you look ten pounds heavier, so the actresses who appear almost gaunt and skeletal often win the attention of Hollywood decision-makers at the expense of those who have a more wholesome, healthy look. If you see an actress who appears thin on TV, imagine what she looks like face-to-face!
As tragic as it sounds, the industry standards support the passion of some actresses to become anorexic or bulimic because the camera’s eye will make them look “normal,” not underweight. So they torture their bodies and souls, all so they can do what they love, which is acting.
In this chapter and the three that follow, I’ll give you my point of view on show business’s preoccupation with weight, and how I’ve finally dealt with it in a positive way in my own life.
Thin Is In
What effect does Hollywood’s weight obsession have on actresses like me? It’s so easy to get caught up in the “thin-is-in” ethos, which is why so many of my colleagues are totally preoccupied with the number on the scale and do whatever they have to do to keep it from moving in an upward direction. They eat like birds (anorexic birds at that!). They routinely skip meals. Some of them take laxatives. They’ve turned near-starvation into an art form.
Before I go any further, I will say that there are a number of women I know who are thin naturally. My friend and costar, Ari (Nicole), is a perfect example of a beautiful, super-model-type figure, and she doesn’t have to work at it at all. I know what you’re thinking—I hate her, too! But seriously, even though she has genetics on her side, she makes an effort to be healthy, to work out, and to take care of herself. In fact, she has to work to keep weight on! My point is, there is a body type that is naturally thin—and I’m not talking about those women. I’m talking instead about the women who fight their figures throughout their whole careers, and in some cases take that fight to extremes.
Growing up in the entertainment industry, I’ve known actresses who vomit after almost every meal. For some of the thinnest-of-the-thin actresses, it’s as much a part of their routine as brushing their teeth and putting on makeup—they seem to feel that they can’t afford to backslide, can’t afford to gain even a single pound or two. Physical appearance is everything. More than once, I’ve walked into a rest room at a Hollywood studio or at a restaurant with a show business clientele and heard an actress in the bathroom stall, throwing up her lunch. Yuck! Almost everyone in the industry pretends that nothing is wrong. But they’ve got to be kidding. I’ve known actresses who seem like they’re about to collapse because they’re so malnourished (I really mean that!). If she’s a teenage actress, someone in the production company may whisper something to her mom—but even parents are often in denial. Too often, moms in particular are part of the problem, encouraging their actress-daughters to count calories and watch their weight until it becomes pathological. It is so frightening!
Can you think of any other business or industry in the world that leads girls and women into this kind of self-destructive behavior? Well, okay, I mean besides ballet and gymnastics?
How disturbing do the stories get? Just picture this. Not long ago, a photographer told me about a day-long fashion shoot he had just done with a well-known supermodel who had set new standards for thinness (just take a look at the models in any issue of Vogue or Harper’s Bazaar, and you’ll know what I mean). During the shoot, there was plenty of food available for the photographer, his assistants, the makeup artists, the agent, the manager—and the model. But while everyone else was eating generous portions and going back for seconds, the model didn’t touch any of the catered food. Probably obsessed with maintaining her figure, she had brought her own lunch—a sunflower seed! That’s right. One sunflower seed. While others on the set couldn’t resist the generous spread of food during breaks and during the lunch hour, she could have carried her meal for the day in a thimble!
Later, the photographer told me, “It’s hard to believe, but the only thing she ate during the entire six hours was the sunflower seed! That’s it. During the course of the day, she fainted three times under the bright lights. She was starving herself. It was unbelievable.”
Is that scary or what?!
There are a lot of stories just like that. A few of them may be urban legends, but most are real. Girls and young women in Hollywood are willing to literally torture themselves and their bodies—surviving on juice, a few grapes, or a cracker or two for the day—just so they’ll measure up (or is it measure down?) with the “right look” to help them hold on to their jobs and keep the casting agents on their side.
I’ve spoken with some wardrobe stylists—those men and women who fit actresses with clothing for photo shoots, parties, and awards shows—and in their most honest moments, they admit that they may be part of the problem. Here’s how it works: These very talented stylists receive free clothes from various designers for celebrities to wear at events, and these free clothes are the sample sizes that models wear down the fashion runways (you know the type of body I’m talking about—think of the wafer-thin figures of Elle MacPherson, Kate Moss, and Naomi Campbell). So now these actresses are not being fitted to their own size, but they’re trying to squeeze into a dress originally worn by a Twiggy-like model—and the actress (who may be a size 2) might get scolded because she’s too heavy for the dress! Even if nothing is said, it’s so embarrassing to try on a dress in front of people and have it not fit. Just think about how you feel when you’re in the changing room by yourself, and now give yourself an audience!
Of course, I’ve worked in this culture of thinness most of my life, and it’s a business where “anatomy is destiny.” In just about any soap opera, or any other TV show or commercial for that matter, the dress size of the average actress is 0 or 2. These are very slim women! And most of them believe that if their waist is not thin enough or their body frame is not trim enough, they might lose the part they’re dreaming about to a thinner-than-thou actress with the figure of Lara Flynn Boyle or the next Calista Flockhart look-alike. The press even pointed out that the female stars of long-running shows like Friends weighed conspicuously less during the last season that the show was on the air than the first; even the biggest stars feel pressure to downsize their bodies, no matter how spectacular they looked in their “before” photos. That’s the sad shape of things in Hollywood these days.
Over the years, magazines like People have run stories about the almost obscene thinness among actresses in Hollywood. More recently, I’ve also read articles about the supposed current trend toward “healthier-looking” actresses—those who don’t quite fall into the emaciated category—but the articles have used actresses like Charlize Theron as the prototype of these “normal-looking” stars. No offense to People or any other magazine, but in my mind, actresses like Charlize are absolutely gorgeous but also pretty darn thin. When I read articles that point to these actresses as examples of a healthier body shape in show business, my heart sinks and I find myself thinking, “If she’s ‘normal,’ what does that make me?”
The Good Folks at Days
Before I go any further, let me make a very important point. In the midst of all of Hollywood’s weight obsession, I’ve been spared much of this insanity, and I have the producers of Days of Our Lives to thank for that. Even though I’ve never been obese, I’ve also never won any awards as the thinnest actress in Hollywood. I just don’t have the body type that’s ever going to fit the mold of the “average” Hollywood actress. That’s just never going to be me!
But I’ve been so lucky that my weight has never been an issue with the producers of Days. At times i
n the past, I weighed fifteen to thirty pounds more than I do today. But they never pressured me to shed some of that excess weight. They never even commented on it. The press did and mean-spirited fans did, but the producers never touched the subject. They didn’t slip copies of diets under my dressing room door. They didn’t send me out on forced marches to burn a few calories. From the beginning until today, my weight just hasn’t been an issue with them (thank you, Ken!).
When I joined the cast of Days, I was a few pounds overweight but still a perfect fit for the vision the producers and writers had for Sami Brady. They said that I was a good actress, and that was what was important to them. That’s why they hired me. They were bold enough to select me to play Sami, even though producers of other shows might have found me unsuitable because at the time, I weighed a little more than they would have liked. But at Days, my weight has always been irrelevant.
I remember one day several years ago, when I was struggling with my weight and feeling pretty bad about myself, I asked one of the executive producers if he thought I should do something about it. I wanted to know if he would have preferred that I live at a health club when I wasn’t working, and whittle away at my weight. I was even considering liposuction. There was definitely a part of me that was embarrassed by being overweight, and I figured if he read me the riot act, maybe I’d finally do something about it.
Well, he couldn’t have been more supportive. “Ali,” he said, “I think you’re beautiful, and I want you to do whatever’s best for you. Your boyfriend thinks you’re beautiful, doesn’t he?” (This was before Dave and I got married.)
“Yes, he does.”
“Then don’t worry about it. You look great. And we’re very happy that our show depicts beauty in all of its variety. Men don’t like skeletons.”
He paused for a moment, and then added, “You know, even dogs like meat on their bones.”
All The Days Of My Life (so Far) Page 13