When eating in restaurants, I don’t let myself get so caught up in social conversation that I eat unconsciously. Let me tell you what works for me in restaurants: I often order both an appetizer and an entrée, allowing myself to indulge in as many different tastes as possible. So I may order an appetizer such as capreza (sliced tomatoes, Mozzarella cheese, fresh basil); it’s a completely different taste than the chicken and the vegetables that I may have for an entrée. Or I’ll have a salad for an appetizer, and then salmon and broccoli as the main dish. I’ll leave some of each on my plate, and take the leftovers home for the following day. It’s a great way to dine. And when I eat this way, I’m not hungry when I leave the restaurant—but I’m not stuffed, either.
I also don’t obsess over what I’m eating; when I was completely preoccupied with the food I put on my plate, I remember having internal debates with myself over whether or not I should take another bite. I’d feel terrible about myself if I ate more than I had planned. What a horrible way to live! If I ate something that wasn’t part of my “perfect” program, it chipped away at my self-esteem. For me, that was the hardest part of being on a formal diet—every time I slipped, I’d beat myself up over it, convinced that something was wrong with me. Today, however, balance is what I’m seeking and I usually find it. Gradually, I began to see beyond the scale and started to trust my gut instincts about who I really am, what’s really important, and how much I should eat.
What’s Cooking?
Now, what about time in the kitchen? Well, I’m no Emeril or Julia Child. I don’t ever expect to be, either, and I guess I’m a latecomer to the art of creating culinary masterpieces.
When I was nineteen years old, I got my first apartment and my introduction to dabbling in my own kitchen. As comfortable as I had been living with my parents, I was feeling a little crowded at home and decided to become Ms. Independent! Most of my friends had already gone off to college and were living in dorm rooms, and my parents thought it was fine for me to get out on my own. So I bought a bed, a beautiful Laura Ashley comforter, and some wicker furniture, and I borrowed a coffee table from my parents’ house. And, of course, then I had to deal with the kitchen.
Well, some of my earliest efforts—even the simplest ones—were an absolute disaster! Let me tell you about the time I ruined a bag of microwave popcorn! Now really, how hard can it be to pop some popcorn? Yet, apparently it required far more talent than I could muster at that moment. As I recall, the instructions on the bag called for setting the microwave oven at two minutes. But that wasn’t good enough for me. I made the executive decision that two minutes just didn’t seem right. So I set it at five minutes, and let her rip!
Well, before I knew it, the bag of popcorn had actually exploded! And then it burst into flames! Can you believe it—I started a fire in my own microwave oven! Quite clever, don’t you think?!
Fortunately, I’m happy to report that my culinary talents have taken a turn for the better. In fact, I’ve actually become pretty good at a growing number of dishes. But I’ve also learned a few lessons—for example, you really have to pay attention! I remember one evening when I was preparing spaghetti with a really yummy mushroom cream sauce that my mom had made. Well, it’s really not very complicated to make spaghetti, right? Yet I somehow turned the cooking experience into a wild event that soon resembled an E-ticket ride at Disneyland. Here’s what happened: I put the spaghetti in a pot, and when the water started boiling, I turned the flame down a bit. So far, so good. But then I went into the living room and began watching Seinfeld. Big mistake! Thirty minutes later when the show was finally over, I returned to the kitchen—and was greeted by a torrent of water that might have posed a challenge for a seasoned river rafter! What a mess! The lesson: Don’t let yourself become distracted (even by Seinfeld!) when there’s something cooking on the stove!
As you can tell, I started from literally nowhere, ruined quite a few meals (and caused a flash flood or two), but today, I love being in the kitchen—and I’m getting better all the time! I learned a lot by watching the Food Channel, and chefs like Emeril Lagasse convinced me that cooking was something that I could do. He makes it sound so easy, doesn’t he? And he makes it fun, too, which is a great way to approach just about everything in life. Many of my meal and dessert creations aren’t half bad. (I can also proudly proclaim that I make a pretty mean—and fire-free—microwave popcorn these days, too!) When I eat at restaurants and give instructions to waiters on how I’d like my meal prepared, I often get a rather boring and tasteless dish. But in my own kitchen, I’ve become creative with spices and herbs, including some from my own herb garden. I love to experiment and try new dishes. I have a great time being inventive—for example, making a chicken dish by sautéing it lightly for flavor (showing some restraint with the oil), then baking it, and finally bringing on the herbs, starting with garlic and rosemary. Take my word for it, the taste can be pretty amazing! Or if I’m in the mood for a Mexican-themed dinner, I might simmer the chicken, mix in some cilantro, and then use it in a stew (rather than serving it with tortillas).
I sometimes adapt recipes from magazines like Bon Appetit and Gourmet so they’re more to my liking. Or I’ll actually combine two recipes—for example, a pasta dish plus a tomato chicken sauce. I’ll take the sauce and make it thicker by adding artichoke hearts and broccoli. (I call it my “chicken sink stew,” because I’ll add any and every vegetable that’s in my refrigerator and turn the sauce into a chunky delight! Then I’ll prepare the pasta, too (for my husband Dave), although I’ll often eat only the stew myself.
I’ve also enjoyed a bonus that comes with cooking: When I prepare a meal, I’m not as hungry once I sit down at the dining room table. (Does that happen to you?) Maybe I’ve spent so much time smelling the food in the kitchen that it starts filling me up—at least it seems that way. Cooking is a great stress reliever for me, too, because it keeps my mind focused on following the recipe, measuring ingredients, and so on. It almost becomes something like a meditation. Whatever the explanation, I don’t eat as much when I cook, compared to when someone else does the work in the kitchen.
Even though I don’t overindulge in treats like cookies, I love baking them for Dave—and so I won’t be tempted to overindulge myself, I might put nuts in them (that’s because I hate nuts!). I’m not even tempted when I’ve “doctored” the cookies that way (although I must admit that peanut butter cookies sure can whet my appetite!).
Dave is great when it comes to my cooking. He has inspired me to become very adventurous in the kitchen, and usually likes whatever I whip up (at least that’s what he tells me). Of course, he and I also love eating together, and—here’s the best part—he often cleans up the kitchen afterward. He says that since I’ve worked so hard to prepare the meal, the least he can do is wash the dishes. What a sweetheart!
A Little Perspective
As you can tell, I’ve done a lot of thinking about food, diets, and weight in the last few years. I see so many of my fellow actresses torture themselves over what they should and shouldn’t eat. But I’ve had the luck of making some very good girlfriends in the biz who have helped me keep my head on straight about the whole issue. Although I’m still very aware of my diet, I have a much healthier perspective these days.
Here’s the bottom line: If I really need to starve myself to be an actress in Hollywood, I’ll find another line of work. I could always go behind the cameras as a director (that’s a long-range goal of mine), or maybe as a producer. Or I could go back to college and pursue a completely different career. Of course, acting is still my first love. I’m so happy in front of the cameras. But let’s be clear about this: I’m not going to make myself miserable and send myself into an emotional tailspin trying to rise to some impossible ideal! As much as I love acting, I could do something else.
With each passing day, I think I’m strengthening the healthy attitude I now have about food, diets, and the person I see in the mirror. But it hasn’t happened over
night. It’s taken a long, long time to get to this point. Because of the industry I work in, it’s always going to be important for me to be conscious of what I weigh; Hollywood is absolutely obsessed with how people look, and as long as I’m a working actress, I can never lose sight of that. But fortunately, many of my close friends—inside and outside of show business—have a levelheaded point of view about diets and weight. Although we hear the message that “you can’t be too thin”—the truth is, you definitely can! Everyone knows that eating disorders can be hazardous to your health: damaging vital organs, impairing the thyroid gland, and even causing cardiac arrest and death. Thousands of people, most of them young women, die each year as a direct result of anorexia or bulimia. Why would someone risk her life just to impress a casting director or producer? It’s absolutely insane!
Even so, I know so many actresses who have suspended good judgment and continue to be caught up in self-starvation. They only seem to have their sights focused on the short-term goal, which is staying thin and getting and keeping their acting jobs. I see it all the time.
But I won’t let this way of life grab ahold of me like it once did. I can’t allow it to take me over and affect how I feel about myself. I really have learned to accept and love myself, whether I’m ten pounds heavier or ten pounds lighter than I was a month or two earlier. Yes, I know I’m never going to be pencil-thin—but I do want to be as healthy as possible. So I try to eat right because it’s a way to stay healthy, not because I’m driven to fit the mold of the actress-with-the-perfect-body. Once I shifted my focus away from the scale and more toward leading a fulfilling, healthy life, my excess weight started to disappear.
It took me years to change my thinking to get to this place, and I have a much happier and wiser perspective about weight than I once did.
These days, I don’t weigh myself. Ever. While I guess I have a general sense of what the number on the scale would be, it means much less to me than how my clothes look on me when I gaze into the mirror. If I look good in a favorite dress (I wear a size 2 or 4 today), that’s all the motivation I need. I can see the payoff that comes with maintaining a healthy and comfortable weight. I’m also honest with myself—if the clothes are getting a little snug, it’s time to back away from the cookie jar!
Sometimes, fans write me letters that say something like, “How can I get my daughter to lose weight like you did?” Well, just like I decided not to include a formal diet in this book, I decided not to give fans anything more than just some general information about what I did that finally worked for me. In the same way, you should find your own path. Someday, if I have a Ph.D. after my name or training as a registered dietitian, then maybe I’ll get more specific. But for now, all I can really do is tell you about the success I’ve had, and suggest that everyone figure it out for herself. Find a way of eating that you can live with, and then stick with it. I hope you reach your weight-loss goals. But more than anything, I want you to be happy with yourself, no matter what your size. It really shouldn’t matter what you weigh; if you don’t look like the models on the cover of Cosmo, you can’t spend your life feeling miserable about it.
Fans also sometimes ask for my thoughts about dietary supplements, which I’ve used on occasion (you may have seen me in TV commercials and print ads for a supplemental product not long ago). I’ve used supplements to maintain the weight loss I’ve already achieved, and to kick-start my workouts for bathing-suit scenes, and so forth. If you’re like me, you’ve probably discovered that while losing weight is always a challenge, it’s even more difficult to keep it off. And because of my unpredictable work schedule—where many hours can go by without time to eat, and where the buffet table near the set is always a temptation—I’ve sometimes used supplements as a safety net, helping me control my appetite, particularly when I have weak moments. Some supplements can speed up metabolism, making workouts more effective, and they can also make you thirsty, so you end up drinking lots of water (which is good for appetite control). But let me make this clear: I’ve never overused or overrelied on these supplements, and I refuse to let myself become dependent on them. I know that some people have had problems with certain supplements (although not the one I’ve helped promote) when they’ve overdone it, using them day after day (often several times a day), frequently at very high doses. When I’ve used supplements, it’s only in moderation and with common sense as a guide. As with so many things, it’s all about moderation.
As I tell my story in this book, I think I do have an important message to communicate—in particular to teenage girls and young women. As you mature and find where you fit into the world, don’t let Hollywood dictate the way you need to look or how you feel about yourself if you don’t have the “perfect body.” You don’t need to be a size 0 to pursue your dreams. The world isn’t going to come to an end if you don’t fit the stereotype of whatever happens to be the “right look” at the moment. Just be yourself, and your friends and family will love and appreciate you for it.
Chapter 14
Are you a couch potato?
Sound appealing?
There are times when the thought of living a sedentary lifestyle seems pretty attractive. Imagine curling up on the sofa in front of the fireplace and getting lost in a good novel all afternoon, barely moving hour after hour—and there’s a time and a place for that! But it’s the exception, not the rule.
I know better than to get too comfortable being lazy. Not only for my physical health, but also for my psychological well-being, I need to keep active.
Since some of this book has discussed weight and dieting, I can’t neglect the importance of incorporating physical activity into an overall weight loss and fitness program. But as with my approach to dieting in this book, I’m not going to recommend a specific exercise plan that you should be following. That’s not my purpose here. How-ever, I will spend a few pages telling you what I do—what works for me…what keeps me in shape…what helps maintain my weight at a comfortable level. The foods I put on my plate, of course, are very important to keeping my weight where I want it. But exercise is just as essential to my lifestyle. It burns calories. It makes me feel better. It gives me more energy to keep pace with my hectic schedule.
It’s like that billboard I’ve seen at malls lately. It says in big letters, “The Miracle Diet Pill,” with a picture of a pill below it. But in black letters, one side of the pill says “diet” and the other side says “exercise.” That really is the only way to get and stay fit—eating right, and exercise, exercise, exercise!
The Value of Exercise
For as long as I can remember, I’ve known the importance of exercise. For starters, as someone who once kept one eye on the scale, I can tell you that losing weight is much more difficult unless you’re staying active and burning calories. Trust me, that’s a no-brainer. However, bear in mind that when you exercise, you just might find yourself also gaining muscle mass, which will slow the speed of your weight loss. That’s often what has happened with me when I work out. Yes, exercise keeps me healthy and fit, and it does help produce the loss of unwanted pounds over time. But it may not translate into an immediate lightning strike of weight loss when you expect it to.
Nevertheless, don’t underestimate the ability of your workouts to contribute to your overall weight management. In fact, just spend a little time traveling through Europe, and you’ll see firsthand the value of physical activity. The United States has many more overweight people than France and most other European countries do, and you can’t blame all of it on genetics. Yes, I’m sure there are some dietary factors at play: The French are much less reliant than Americans on high-fat fast food, and when they do eat rich cheeses, they keep the portions small—just enough to fit on a cracker or two! They eat slower, and they eat less. But perhaps most important, they walk constantly. The French aren’t as reliant on automobiles as we are, and they wear out a lot more shoes than tires. Yes, New Yorkers walk a lot, but in most other American cities, people ar
e hooked on their cars. No wonder obesity isn’t as big a problem in Europe as it is here.
Making Fitness a Priority
Although I’ve always known that exercise is good for me, it was really driven home by Dr. Jay, my dentist, who I wrote about in Chapter 12. (Remember, he was the one who described me as “puffy,” which I guess was better than calling me “fat”—but not by much!) I followed Dr. Jay’s way of eating as closely as I could, but mostly he convinced me to reevaluate the way I was leading my life. And for Dr. Jay, exercise has been just as important as eating right. “You need to work out to be healthy,” he told me.
Of course, I knew Dr. Jay was right, and for most of my life, I have been physically active. All I had to do was think back to my childhood, when, like most kids, I never stopped moving. Most children are outside playing from morning ’til night, and they’re burning calories all the while. When you’re that age and that active, having a Haagen-Dazs ice cream cone during the day is really not going to matter. But once life became much busier in adolescence and adulthood, I found that I needed to make fitness a priority or I’d never find time for it.
These days, I have to schedule my workouts just as I do every other appointment in the day. It needs to be as important as any other event or meeting. Listen, I block out time for doctor’s appointments or meetings with my agent, right? So why not do the same for my workout? And on those days when I’m just not in the mood for physical activity, it’s harder to feel lazy when I’ve already blocked out the 4 o’clock hour to get moving!
Now, let’s put things in perspective: I’ve never been a person who wakes up in the morning and says, “I can hardly wait to get on the treadmill today!” For so many years, I just wasn’t dedicated to my workouts. For a while, it became a real chore for me to get myself out the door to walk through the neighborhood or head for the gym. I’d force myself to do it at least two or three times a week, but my motivation sometimes waned if I didn’t see much change in my weight (which was often the case because I was building up muscle mass). When that happened, I’d often throw in the towel for a month or two. I’d just take off my sneakers and store them in the closet for a while.
All The Days Of My Life (so Far) Page 17