by Beth Abbott
She needed his warmth, even if it was only going to be for a few minutes longer.
She opened her flat door and led the way in, barely registering Luke closing and deadlocking it behind him
She flicked on a few lamps in the living room, and kicked her shoes off in the corner.
When she turned, Luke was standing in the doorway, looking unsure whether to come in or turn around and leave.
“I know I said we have to talk.” She began. “But I guess the truth of it is, I need to talk, and you need to listen.”
Luke’s heart dropped. Did this mean she was going to dump him already? Really? This was a first. A bloody horrible one.
“Ok.” He said calmly. “So, should we sit?”
Ellen nodded, but when he sat on the sofa, she sat at the opposite end facing him, almost as far from him as she could get.
Luke waited patiently for her to start.
“It’s a bit of a long story, so please be patient with me?” Ellen pleaded.
“Of course, I will.” Luke reassured her.
“And I know it’s a lot to ask, but will you please try not to hate me?”
Luke could see the tears in her eyes.
“Honey, I could….” Luke began.
“Luke, please, just promise me you’ll try! No matter what I tell you.” Ellen’s tears were now streaming down her cheeks.
“I promise.” Luke replied solemnly. He couldn’t fathom what she could possibly be about to tell him, but he could see how much pain she was in just thinking about it.
“Ok.” She whispered. “I told you already that my mum died when I was young and that it was just me and my dad after that?”
Without waiting for a response, she continued.
“I was so lucky to have my dad. He was wonderful. He took me on holidays abroad, encouraged me in my love of languages. When I wanted something he always made sure I had it. Until today, I would have argued with anyone who said I’d been a spoilt princess. But now I’m not so sure. He just gave me everything with so little fuss, I can’t remember ever needing to throw a hissy fit.”
Ellen sniffed and reached for a tissue.
“My dad also encouraged me to follow my dreams and go to University, so I did. I went to Oxford.” Ellen glanced up at Luke, waiting for his reaction.
Sure enough, he raised his eyebrows, but he remained silent.
“I told you that I’d never finished my education. Well that was stretching the truth. I already had my Bachelors and my Master’s degree and was due to start studying for my PhD when I dropped out.”
Luke’s jaw was un-mistakenly slack by now, but still he remained silent.
“My dad’s business went under due to the recession, and he took a job with a guy in London. I just thought he was doing the same job for someone else as he had done for himself all those years. I guess I was too busy doing my own thing to pay much attention. I didn’t give it another thought.”
Ellen frowned.
“I guess that’s more damning evidence that I really was a spoilt brat!”
Luke looked like he was about to argue, then changed his mind.
“Anyway, he’d worked for this guy for maybe two or three years, all the while funding me in university completing my Masters. He was so proud of me when I got it. The Dean at my college had already indicated that he saw me joining the faculty, so of course it seemed to us both that my future was assured.”
Ellen stopped to blow her nose.
“The night I got my Masters, we were due to go out for a celebratory dinner. Just after he picked me up from my flat, he received a phone call. He said that we needed to make a quick stop along the way.” She sniffed.
“When we stopped at his employer’s house, I assumed that the call had come from his boss, but in hindsight I’m not so sure. I think someone must have instructed him to go there, not that it makes much difference now.”
Ellen paused, then got up. “I need some water. Can I get you something?”
Luke shook his head.
He wasn’t entirely sure where Ellen was going with this story, but he had a tingling sensation in his spine, one he had become familiar with during his years in the military. The one that told him when shit was about to get ugly!
Ellen returned with a glass of water. She sipped slowly, then set the glass down on the table.
“So, where was I? Oh yes. When we arrived at the house, dad let us in with his own key. He didn’t want to leave me waiting in the car, so he took me in and told me to wait downstairs. I wandered into the sitting room, while he collected whatever it was he was there to pick up.
While he was upstairs, some other men came into the house. They bypassed the room I was in, and went into the kitchen.”
Ellen took another sip. She hadn’t looked at Luke once since she’d returned.
“I heard dad come downstairs, but he didn’t come for me. He put his hand around the doorframe and turned off the light in the room I was in. I didn’t understand why, immediately. I mean, he was hardly trying to be energy efficient! Then he went into the kitchen. I heard a bit of a row going on. Something about someone having gone to the police and informing on George, dad’s employer.”
Luke’s stomach turned over, as he finally knew where this story was going.
“But before I could move, a man put his hand over my mouth and told me to keep still. He told me he was a policeman, and that he was going to save my dad. He made me hide behind the sofa. I thought he was my saviour.” Ellen took another shaky breath.
She fell silent for a moment, and even though he was desperate to hear the end of the story, he didn’t interrupt her thoughts.
“While I hid behind the sofa, he made his way to the kitchen, and I heard guns being fired. Maybe seven or eight shots? Then the door flew open and I saw him coming back for me.
Before he could reach me, another man appeared in the doorway and there were more shots.
My saviour turned, just as the first gunshot sounded, and managed to get a shot away which killed the man by the door, but in the process, he’d been shot several times.”
Ellen’s tears were falling harder now.
“He landed on the floor right in front of me, his eyes staring at me. He almost seemed to be smiling at me, as though he knew he’d done his job. That I would be safe. It only took seconds for me to realise that he’d died right there in front of me.”
Ellen sobbed quietly for a minute or two.
Luke was speechless, his heart ripped to pieces with her words.
“I went into the kitchen where I found my father. He’d been shot several times. He told me to phone the police and an ambulance, and then to take the money that he had hidden in his car and get away. He told me never to come back.
Dad admitted that he’d been the informer, just as they’d said, and that he’d worked with the police to get evidence against Georgie. He confirmed that the man I’d thought of as my saviour, was really an undercover policeman.”
If Luke thought his heart had been shredded before, now he was completely gutted as well!
Ellen looked up at him, and in that moment, he thought he’d never seen anyone more devastated or heartbroken in his life.
“The man’s name was Casey.” She whispered.
“My real name is Emma Thomas-Lansing, and I think you’ve been looking for me. I’m responsible for your brother’s death.”
Chapter 28 - Luke
“What?” Luke was stunned. “How can you possibly think that way? You weren’t the reason he was there.”
“Maybe not, but if I hadn’t been there, he wouldn’t have been trying to protect me when he was shot.” Ellen was sobbing again now. “If my father hadn’t gotten involved with that man, none of this would have happened.”
“Oh, honey!” Luke slid up to her and pulled her close. “You can’t think like that. Casey lived his whole life by the seat of his pants. It was a miracle he wasn’t killed while he was still in the military. It’s just been eating away at m
e these last few years thinking that he’d died while doing something illegal. The police never acknowledged he’d been one of them.”
“What? Really?” Ellen was appalled.
“Really!” Luke sighed. “I suppose it could have compromised their operation if they’d admitted it, even to Casey’s family.”
Luke pulled her closer still and she melted into him.
“So, you don’t hate me?” She whispered into his chest.
Luke tilted her face up to look at him.
“Honey, I could never hate you. In fact, you telling me the truth, has brought me the first measure of comfort since Casey’s death nearly three and a half years ago. I know my parents will feel the same way. I’m just so sorry you had to carry the guilt and pain all those years.”
“Invisible!” She murmured.
“What?” Luke looked puzzled.
“I had to be invisible.” She explained.
Luke nodded, finally understanding.
“I remembered that first time I saw you, you gave me the impression that you were trying to hide in plain sight, not wanting to be noticed by anyone. You were doing a stand-up job.” Luke smiled. “I just can’t understand why I didn’t recognise you from your photos. After all the thousands of times I stared at them, I should have recognised you. Some sodding security specialist I am!”
“Probably because you were looking for a blue-eyed blonde.” Ellen half-smiled.
“Wait, what?” Luke shifted to look at her more closely. “Your eyes….”
“Are contact lenses.” Ellen confirmed, smiling nervously. “And the hair colour comes out of a bottle. Shit brown, I think it’s called!”
“Take them out!” Luke instructed. “If I can’t see your hair colour, I want to see your eyes.”
Ellen sat up and reached up and took out one lens, then the other.
She rubbed her eyes softly before blinking and then finally looked at Luke.
“Fuck me!” Luke hissed. “So beautiful.”
Ellen blushed.
“I can’t believe you’ve hidden those beautiful eyes for so long. Hidden your beauty for so long.” He breathed.
Ellen stared at him for a moment, revelling in her new reality.
Luke knew her secrets. He knew everything about her past, and he didn’t hate her.
He thought she was beautiful.
God, how she loved this man!
Before she could think twice, she threw herself into his arms, and her lips found his in a ferocious kiss of need, relief, and maybe a touch of old-fashioned lust.
Luke didn’t hesitate in his response. He gathered her up in his arms, and stood with her, their lips never parting.
He strode to her bedroom, and without turning on the light, he lowered her feet to the carpet, never breaking the kiss, still sliding his tongue alongside hers.
When he pulled back, he cupped her face in his hands.
“No more talking.” His words met with no argument from Ellen. “I want to make love to you tonight. I want to show you how I feel about you, and what you do to me.”
Ellen couldn’t help the full body shudder caused by his words.
“I want to hear you scream my name when you come, and I want to be balls deep inside you when I come.”
“Yes.” She whispered. “Please?”
Luke smiled at her. “Pleasing you is all I want to do, sweetheart.”
His hands found the bottom of her cardigan and lifted until he pulled it clear of her head.
Slowly undoing each of the buttons on her blouse, when it was fully opened to him, he pushed it back from her shoulders letting it slip to the floor.
He wasted no time leaning forward sucking on her neck and shoulders.
Ellen’s hands found his waist and she gripped his shirt for dear life, her knees threatening to give way beneath her.
“I don’t….” She gasped. “I can’t….”
Luke pulled back instantly and studied her carefully.
“Sweetheart, do you want me to stop? I know I’m rushing you…”
“NO!” Ellen quickly took his face in her hands and gazed into his striking eyes.
“I don’t want you to stop.” She whispered. “But I’m out of my depth here. I have no idea what to do, and I don’t want to disappoint you.”
Luke put a finger on her lips to silence her.
“I love that you’re innocent.” Luke smiled at her. “And before you start worrying that I’m some pervert who likes defiling virgins, can I honestly say that I’ve never made love to a virgin before. This is new territory for me too.”
Ellen couldn’t help but snort in a very unladylike manner.
“I hardly think our levels of inexperience are equal.”
Luke grinned at her.
“Maybe not, but I can’t tell you how much being here with you, being allowed to be your first, humbles me and excites me.”
“Really?” Ellen looked into his eyes, trying to find some sign that he wasn’t being totally honest with her.
He gently took her hand, turned it and place it on his groin. There was no hiding how aroused he was, his cock doing it’s damnedest to break free from his jeans.
“Does that leave you in any doubt?” His eyes crinkled with silent laughter.
Ellen moved her fingers slightly in timid exploration.
“I guess not.” She smiled back at him.
“Ok, so if you keep moving your hand like that, I’m gonna blow like Old Faithful!” Luke warned. “And at this moment, that would not be a good thing.”
Ellen pulled her hand back carefully, as if any movement might trigger his release.
“So, how about I do what I think will please you, and you tell me when you like something, or when you don’t?” Luke suggested.
“What do I do?” Ellen asked.
“Anything you like, honey.” Luke laughed. “If you want to touch me somewhere, that’s fine, if you want me to touch you somewhere, that’s fine too. If you want me to go faster, harder, softer, deeper, gentler, you just tell me or show me in any way you can. Ok? There isn’t a right or wrong way, but there is good and bad.”
Ellen knitted her brows together, waiting for him to continue.
“Sex is usually bad when two people don’t communicate. If you don’t tell me what feels good, how am I gonna learn what your body needs? Likewise, if you don’t tell me what you don’t like, I might keep doing it and totally kill your buzz.”
Ellen nodded, finally understanding what he was trying to tell her.
“Ok. So, we’re in this together, equally?” She glanced up at him.
Luke nodded, solemnly.
“So, if we are so equal…. how come one of us is half-dressed and the other one still has all their clothes on?” Ellen pondered.
Luke ran his gaze down her body, causing her skin to flush with heat. Then he reached for his shirt, and undid the top few buttons, before pulling the whole thing up and over his head. His t-shirt swiftly followed.
Ellen took a minute to admire the stunning muscles across his chest and down to his abs. That wasn’t a six pack, it was at least an eight, maybe a ten-pack.
He didn’t stop.
He pulled his belt through the buckle, and popped the buttons on his jeans. She could already see the bulge of his erection straining against his underwear.
Slowly, he pushed his jeans down his hips, and they pooled on the floor by his feet. He bent down to pull them off, slipping his socks and trainers off at the same time.
When he stood back up, he stepped slightly away from her so she could get a better view. All he was wearing now was a pair of black trunks, which clung lovingly to the straining erection contained within.
His chest had a small amount of dark hair, which thickened slightly as it reached his abs and trailed down in a V to his groin, where it disappeared into the trunks.
His powerful thighs and calves were covered with more of the same dark coarse hair, and her fingers itched to scrape up his
legs to his sex.
When Ellen’s eyes finally returned to Luke’s face, she was surprised to see him studying her carefully. It must be obvious to him that she very much liked what she saw, but there was no grin or smirk on his face. The only expression on his face was hunger.
Ellen found the waistband of her jeans and undid first the button, and then the zipper.
As Luke had done, she pushed them down her legs and kicked them off, her socks and shoes already having been removed as soon as she entered the flat.
She knew she should feel embarrassed, standing in her underwear in front of a man she’d only met a few weeks ago, but she didn’t.
In an act of utter bravery, she watched Luke’s eyes dilate when she reached behind her to unfasten her bra.
As she dropped the bra to the floor, and returned her hands to her hips, she continued to watch Luke take a deep breath as she pushed her panties down her legs and stepped out of them.
Mirroring her own final movement, she watched as he carefully pushed his own underwear over his erection and off his hips, until he stood naked and proud in front of her.
He was utterly breath-taking!
She watched him inhale a deep breath, and as he exhaled, she heard him whisper, “Perfect!” just as he stepped towards her.
They reached for each other at the same time, Luke’s hands capturing her face, as hers encircled his neck and gripped him fiercely.
When their lips met, Ellen could swear someone stole the bones right out of her legs, and it was all she could do to stay upright.
She hadn’t been prepared for the sensation of having Luke’s bare flesh touching hers, and she felt electrical currents zinging all over her body.
It took only seconds for them to find the mattress, and before she knew it, she was lying on her back, with Luke lying next to her, almost but not quite on top of her.
As he continued to suckle on her lips and tongue, his fingers traced patterns across her shoulders and down the swell of her breasts. The feather-light touch brought on a tingling in her pussy, and Ellen recognised the sensation from the previous night.
As Luke moved his head down to lick and suckle her nipples, she allowed her hands to roam over his shoulders and back. Every inch of him was packed with muscle, and she gloried in the way he shivered against her when she used her nails to scrape a path down his chest.