by Naomi West
Someday I’ll explain to him is that I’m never going to sleep in the master bedroom on my own so he might as well give up the fight. But for now, I’m too embarrassed to explain anything to him.
I hear a sharp knock on the bathroom door and I grab the towel back down and wrap it tight around my body. Going to the door, I open it a crack and steam from the shower billows out, caressing across Dare’s face before evaporating into the air.
“Yes?” I ask, shocked that he’s in here. He never comes into the master bedroom area. He’s only been in there once, but my mind quickly skitters away from that line of thinking. I need to be calm and controlled around him. Let him know that I’m as unaffected by the encounter as he is.
Iceberg, iceberg, iceberg, I chant internally.
“The lobby just buzzed up. Apparently, someone is here for you. She says she knows you.”
I cock my head to one side. Someone is here for me? Even though I’ve gone to the school for three years now, I barely have any friends here.
“Who is it?”
“She says you used to room together.”
“Rett!” I say and jump in the air just a little. Dare’s eyes instantly drop to my breasts, covered only with the towel. He recovers his composure instantly.
“Describe what she looks like so that I know she’s not an imposter.”
I want to roll my eyes at him but I know he’s just doing his job. “She’s about 5’8” with wavy red hair and light brown eyes. And she has a southern accent. And she’s thin.”
He nods and steps back. “I’ll have her come up if you want to see her.”
I nod enthusiastically. “Just let me get changed and I’ll come right out.”
I’m so excited to see her that I almost slam the door in Dare’s face so that I can keep getting ready, but he shoulders it open and grabs me by the wrist. I’m forced to look up into his eyes for the first time in a week. His stare nets me the way it always does, and for the first time, I don’t feel like he’s seeing right through me. I really notice his eyes. They are so painfully gorgeous, almost black. How could it have taken a dream for me to realize that?
“Alessia, I know she’s your friend, but if anything seems off at all, you have to let me know. Greco could be using her to get to you.”
The thought of Greco interacting with Rett at all gives me chills down my back. I don’t want him anywhere near the people I love. “How should I let you know?”
“Touch me,” he says.
I swear I can feel my pupils dilate at the same time my nipples bead against the soft terry cloth towel. “W-what?”
“If you need a way to tell me covertly that you think something is off or that you’re in danger, then find a reason to touch me in some way. I’ll understand that I need to get her or you out of here, okay?”
“How should I touch you?” I ask, my voice a whisper.
This time, it’s his eyes that dilate.
“Like this,” he says and reaches for my hand. He presses my palm to his shoulder and drags it lightly down his arm. I can’t help but grip the contours of his muscles. He’s so ripped I can’t believe it. Seeing it is one thing but feeling it is completely another. Suddenly his eyes harden and he takes a step away from me. I clamp down on the hurt I feel. Iceberg.
“Okay,” I say. “Simple enough. You can send her up.”
I turn from him and close the bathroom door. I stay in there until I hear my bedroom door close. After that I quickly throw on a T-shirt and jeans and toss my hair up into a messy bun until it dries.
Then I’m flinging open my bedroom door and racing out into the living room to see Rett relaxing on the couch like she lives there.
“Sweetie!” she screeches and launches herself toward me.
I do the same and we meet in the middle of the room. An absolute collision of hugging, laughing, elated women. She lifts me clear off the ground.
“Lessi, baby. I’ve missed you so much!”
“Me too,” I say breathlessly as she plunks me back to the ground. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m back!” she yells as she claps her hands together. “I got an unexpected scholarship and I contacted the head of my program and she said I could re-enroll!”
“Oh my God, Rett, that’s incredible. A dream come true!” I grab her hands and hold them, so happy for her. Across the room, Dare catches my eye and I feel some of the air leave my happiness balloon. He’s looking at me like I have a third head or something. As I stare back at him, he almost imperceptibly shakes his head and his expression goes back to neutral.
Rett follows my gaze.
“So what’s the deal with Lurch?” she stage whispers.
“Are you hungry?” I ask, leading her back to the kitchen. “I’ll tell you all about it.”
Chapter Seven
Dare
She can cook. I don’t know why this bothers me so much. It’s frustrating that she’s so good at everything. And so unbelievably gorgeous. And she smells like a flower shop. And looks like the beginning of a porn video all wrapped up in that towel with the steam all around her.
Christ. I pinch the bridge of my nose and take another bite of the tagliatelle that she made for her friend, Rett.
Alessia had been so blindingly happy to see Rett it had thrown me off. I’d never seen someone light up a room the way she just did. It was like she’d thrown open the blinds to reveal a sunny day. Then she’d looked across the room and seen me and instantly drawn the blinds again.
I guess I don’t blame her for that. I’m the source of pretty much all of her discomforts. All her surveillance. Every minor security adjustment she has to make. And not to mention I was the dude who carried her, half naked, into her bedroom. For the millionth time, I ask myself why I didn’t just shake her awake and make her walk to the bed.
There’s no doubt she’s been insanely embarrassed about it. She hasn’t looked at me in over a week. I want to tell her that she has nothing to be embarrassed about. That she’s a gorgeous, sexy woman and that it was one of the hottest moments of my life, but what sort of effect would that have on her?
I take another bite and the flavors explode over my tongue. Having Rett here has really opened Alessia up in a way I would never have anticipated. Alessia chatted away while she automatically started cooking up an old Italian dish, and then when it was ready she served me up a bowl of the pasta like she wasn’t even giving it a second thought.
I’m sitting across the kitchen from the women, trying to give them a little bit of privacy even though I don’t know Rett well enough to actually leave them alone together.
“So now he’s just gonna tail you everywhere?” Rett asks, seeming horrified by the idea. I school my face into a neutral expression and glance at Alessia, not wanting to miss her answer.
She shrugs. “I guess so. But I guess I haven’t really tested the ‘everywhere’ part yet.”
Rett gets a wicked glint in her eye and turns to face me. “Hey Lurch, would you trail her on a date?”
I grunt. Completely unwilling to talk about Alessia going on a date.
“I think that’s a yes,” Alessia translates for me.
I can feel Rett’s discerning eyes on me, but I’m not looking at her, I’m looking at Alessia. Rett turns her back to me and lowers her voice.
“Well, what about it, Lessi? Do you have anybody to test that theory with?”
“To date?” Alessia asks, her voice even quieter. They lean across the counter toward one another like I won’t be able to hear them that way.
Rett nods. “Got anything cookin’?”
Alessia shrugs and blushes. Rett’s mouth falls open at the same second I bite back a growl.
“You do!” Rett whispers excitedly. “Who!? Oh my God, tell me everything.”
Unconsciously I’ve started leaning toward their conversation because I find myself straightening immediately when Alessia pops her head up and looks at me.
“Can you wear some headphones or
something?”
“Excuse me?” Even to me, my voice sounds like a husky growl.
Alessia crosses her arms over her chest in a way that pushes her breasts up toward the V of her T-shirt.
“I know you don’t know Rett well enough to leave us alone, and that’s fine I guess,” Alessia waves one of her hands through the air and it makes her breasts bounce, “but can we at least have some audio privacy if not some visual privacy?”
Honestly, it sounds fair to me. I used to do it all the time for Patrizzio. But for some reason, her request pisses me the off. What the fuck does she have to tell Rett about dating that is so goddamn private I can’t hear it?
I shrug and walk to the counter to where my headphones are in my backpack. I plunk them on and go back to sit at my chair. I turn on some music and face them, stretching my legs out in front of me to let them know that no matter how long they gab, I’m not going anywhere.
But I’m already forgotten as they lean their heads toward one another again, instantly chatting up a storm. I want to mute my music and listen a few different times, especially as Rett’s mouth drops open and Alessia’s cheeks turn pink. Alessia is talking more than I’ve ever seen her talk outside of class. Her hands move passionately through the air and her eyes are firing and alive.
I pinch at my growing headache again. If I get any more attracted to her, this is going to become a thing. Now that I’ve seen her in the height of passion, sweaty and writhing around with the heat of her own needs, I can’t un-see it. In fact, I’ve been seeing it on loop for the last week. Every time I close my eyes there she is, half naked and practically begging for it.
I give myself a mental jerk on the leash and adjust myself against my pants. The small movement seems to catch Alessia’s eye but she quickly turns right back to her conversation with Rett, her cheeks even pinker than before.
After about twenty minutes, Rett stands up and Alessia shoots me a thumbs up.
“Lunch tomorrow, sweetie?” Rett asks as she picks up her purse from the chair beside her.
“Definitely.” Alessia nods and I feel a small tug in my chest at the happiness behind her eyes.
“And I guess you’ll be there too, Lurch?” Rett asks me, a smirk on her face.
I nod and grit my teeth.
“Well, then I guess we should go someplace you’ll like too. What do you like to eat?”
“Italian,” I say and look Alessia in the eye.
She blushes deeply but doesn’t look away.
“Oooooooookay,” Rett says and claps her hands together. “I’m gonna beat it before the vibes in here give me a heart attack.”
“Rett!” Alessia exclaims and quickly glances at me to what I’ve made of her friend’s comment.
I give nothing away. My face is completely neutral. But inside my stomach is tight. I don’t want there to be any palpable vibes between Alessia and I. I’m nothing more than a bodyguard to her. I’m supposed to be blending in to the background, and in a year, she’ll come back to Chicago and I’ll go back to guarding Patrizzio. The thought brings nausea into my gut but I ignore it.
Rett has just done me a favor. She’s reminded me of my place.
Chapter Eight
Alessia
Rett’s return marks two things in my life. The forceful, joyous resurrection of friendship, and the absolute blackhole of silence coming from Dare. He’s barely spoken to me since.
Every morning he texts me with any security alterations to my plans for the day. And occasionally he’ll gruffly say something bossy.
And it bothers me.
It’s an emotional drain to have to constantly act like he isn’t this heavy presence. I wish I could just ignore him, but my thoughts and my eyes are drawn to him like he’s a magnet. It’s as if my life is a painting of beiges and then there’s Dare, a whole corner of the painting done in deep blacks and reds. Even if it’s not as pleasant as the rest of the painting, it still pulls your eye to it every time.
I might have a better shot at ignoring him if it weren’t for the dreams. Which, much to my chagrin, have continued. Almost every night now, I wake up drenched in sweat and panting. For Dare. The constant aching need in my belly is growing. It’s starting to drive me up the wall a little bit.
Even my clothes against my sensitized skin is too much sensation. I’ve had to switch to exclusively wearing the few silk bras I own; the cotton and the lace ones pull against me too much. I feel like every inch of my skin is electrified. The constant state of arousal is starting to wear on my nerves. I try to explain it to Rett at lunch two weeks after she got back.
“I truly don't understand,” I whisper to her across the table on one of the dorm cafeterias we ducked into for a quick bite. Rett always knows how to charm the people who charge at the doors into letting us in for free.
I glance over my shoulder and see Dare in his headphones at the next table. This has become his norm since I suggested he wear them two weeks ago. For some reason, it bothers me. I used to feel out of my mind with his invasion of my privacy, but now every time I see those dumb headphones on I want to rip them off.
“It's pretty simple, sweetie,” Rett says and licks at the soft serve she just conned out of the guy at the dessert counter. “You're attracted to him.”
“But I’m not!” I insist. “I don't even like him.”
“The two aren't related. Trust me.”
And that's one of the reasons I will always love Rett. She's honest and never tries to make me feel naive or inexperienced. She's had guys eating out of her hands since she was about fifteen, but she doesn’t make me feel dumb while explaining this simple concept to me, her completely inexperienced friend.
She leans toward me and her eyes search mine with concern. “Lessi, I’m a little worried that you’re in a little over your head with that one.”
“What do you mean?” My food turns over in my belly.
Rett thinks for a minute, her eyes off to the side. “I guess I just mean that he’s really hard to read, you know? There’s no telling what he’s thinking. And that’s a hard kind of man to be dreaming about.”
My eyes snap up to hers. “I’m not dreaming about him,” I hiss, “I’m having dreams about him. It’s different. You make it sound like I’m doodling his name in my binder.”
Rett grins at me and I can’t help but smile back. “Whatever you say.”
“Really. Like I said before, I don’t even like him. He makes me feel like there’s not enough air in the room. Like I can’t breathe.”
Rett raises her eyebrows sardonically. “You mean he makes you feel breathless?”
“No!” I quickly correct my mistake. “I mean he makes me feel on edge. Rett, if your eyebrows crawl up your face any farther, you’re gonna lose them in your hair.”
“I’m just saying. ‘On edge’ sounds like he makes you feel very aware of him, of his presence.” She rolls her ice cream in a circle like she’s making an etcetera gesture.
“Trust me. It’s not like that. It’s just dreams. And I don’t even get why I’m having them.”
“Lessi, one theory on that could be that the dreams are your body’s way of telling you that you find him physically attractive.”
The thought strikes me. I toss my hair over one shoulder and peek through it to surreptitiously look at Dare sitting a few tables down. He's looking in the other direction and it gives me the opportunity to study him. His eyes have a way of stopping you cold. You can't look past them. Do I find him attractive?
He’s not ugly, that’s for sure. His features are blunt and extreme. His heavy brow creates shadows that blend in with the stubble of his dark beard. He has deep purple smudges under his eyes. Has he been sleeping as poorly as I have? His mouth is stern and full. He takes a sip from his water bottle and his white teeth flash at me, reminding me of a wolf’s fangs. No, he’s much larger than a wolf. A bear, maybe.
He runs a hand roughly through his black hair and it draws my eyes to his hands. That’s some
thing I don’t have to think twice about. His huge hands and broad shoulders and long, long legs.
“I’m definitely attracted to his size,” I whisper to Rett.
Her mouth drops open. “Um, have you been holding out on me? When did you get acquainted with his size?”
My brain, still caught up in watching Dare, is two steps behind what Rett is saying. “What? Oh! Oh my God, Rett. I meant the size of his body. Not the size of his…”