A Mother's Courage

by Dilly Court

  Eloise sprang to her feet. 'I would rather die. If you touch me again, I'll kill you.'

  The sound of his laughter followed her as she tore from the bedroom, and it echoed through the empty house, mocking her as she fled to her own room and barricaded herself inside. She collapsed back onto the bed, shivering violently and stifling the sobs that racked her whole body. No man had ever treated her in such a way. Her whole body was sore and her arms were covered in bruises. Her left eye felt swollen and she could taste the blood from her split lip. She lay in the dark, huddled up on top of the bed, staring into the blackness all round her. The only comfort she had was the soft sounds that Joss and Beth made in their sleep. She longed to take them up in her arms and hold them to her bosom, but she resisted the temptation. She must allow them to sleep and she must clear her mind; forget the pain and humiliation of this evening's events, and she must face the fact that the only course left open to her was to leave this dreadful house tonight. The crime-ridden streets of East London held less terror for her than staying here at the mercy of a man like Ephraim Hubble. As the fog of pain and despair cleared from her mind, she realised that it would be only a matter of time before Pike, the private investigator, discovered her whereabouts. If he continued to watch Annie's movements, it was inevitable that she would eventually lead him once again to Clerkenwell Green and then all would be lost. The Cribbs would invoke the power of the law and her children would be made wards of court and taken from her. Eloise knew that she had no choice. She must wait until everyone in the house was asleep, and then she would take the children and escape from the purgatory into which she had been flung.

  When her limbs had stopped shaking and she could cry no more, she climbed stiffly off the bed and lit a candle. She would have to make a swift getaway and she must travel light. With the utmost reluctance, she abandoned the suitcase containing her good clothes, and she packed just a few necessities for the children and herself in her valise. There was one thing, however, that she was not going to leave behind and that was her writing case. During the past few months her lifeline had been writing to her mother, even if it was only a few lines every day. In the last letter which she had posted just before she left Yorkshire, she had asked Mama to send any future correspondence to the Missionary Society in London. There might even be letters there now, awaiting collection. The thought shone like a candle in the darkness of Eloise's deep despair. She had no idea where she would go when she left Clerkenwell Green, or how she would live with just a few shillings left in her purse, but leave she must and soon, before her resolve wavered.

  When she had finished packing, Eloise felt strangely calm. She sat on the edge of her bed straining her ears for sounds of Agnes and Mrs Jarvis returning from the pub. All her thoughts now were focused on escape, and she was oblivious to the physical pain caused by Ephraim's brutal attack. At last she heard the front door open and close and the sound of muffled, drunken voices as Agnes and Mrs Jarvis said goodnight to each other. The stairs creaked beneath their weight as they made their way to their rooms and then there was silence. There had been no sound at all from Ephraim, although she had half expected him to follow her downstairs and repeat his demand for a freshly cooked meal, or worse. But he had not made any attempt to follow her and for that she was supremely grateful. Perhaps he had fallen asleep after his exertions? She hoped his dreams were anything but sweet. Just thinking about him made Eloise shudder and she sipped a glass of water in an attempt to wash the bitter taste from her mouth.

  She waited, trembling with nervous tension, until she heard the clock on the church tower strike midnight, and then she roused Joss first and dressed him in his outdoor clothes. His head was heavy against her shoulder as he sat on her lap, still half asleep. She kissed the nape of his neck and breathed in the scent of his curly hair. 'My poor baby,' she whispered. 'No one will ever take you from me, I promise.' She laid him down on the bed while she attended to Beth who awakened with a drowsy smile and fell asleep again as soon as Eloise finished dressing her. At nine months, Beth was no longer the tiny baby she had been when Eloise first travelled to Yorkshire, and she hitched the sleepy infant over her shoulder. If only she had been able to keep the perambulator or the little cart that Ted had made for the children, but she had neither, and, smothering a sigh, Eloise picked up her valise. She told Joss in whispers that they were playing a game and he must hold tight to the handle of the case and not let go. They were going out into the darkness for a big adventure.

  As she stepped outside into the chill of the night, Eloise was not so certain about the greatness of their adventure. She was frankly terrified, and if the alternative had not been so dire, she would have gone back into the house and hidden away until morning. Bats were zooming crazily above the dark silhouettes of the trees and somewhere in the distance a dog howled. There was unseen menace in the deep shadows, but the soft saffron glow of the gaslights pooled on the cobblestones forming little islands of light in the darkness. There were more people about than Eloise had expected there to be this late at night, but they seemed to be mainly stragglers making their way back home from the various pubs, or street women on the lookout for a likely punter.

  Dew was already forming on the grass and the air was damp and heavy with the lingering smell of soot and chimney smoke. Eloise had to temper her desire to get as far away as possible with the need to find shelter. The only place she could think of where they might spend the rest of the night unnoticed was a busy railway station. King's Cross seemed to be the nearest, and she remembered that there was a ladies only waiting room in the station concourse. It was a long walk, but there was little traffic in Farringdon Road, apart from the odd hansom cab and a few private carriages with tired coachmen huddled beneath their caped greatcoats. The grey buildings that housed banks and businesses were closed and shuttered, and Eloise knew that the financial heart of the City would lie dormant until morning, when the cleaners would bustle into the offices to do their work before the clerical staff arrived to begin the day's trading. The only people she saw were unfortunates sleeping rough in doorways. There but for the grace of God, she thought, hurrying past them with Joss dragging his heels.

  'Want to go to bed, Mama,' he whimpered.

  'I know, darling. It's not too far now,' Eloise said with as much conviction as she could muster. They had just passed a small family huddled beneath the portico of a merchant bank. The mother was heavily pregnant and she had an infant cuddled in her arms and another child wrapped in her tattered shawl. They were all incredibly dirty, with matted hair and running sores on their hands and faces. The woman's bare feet protruded from the frayed hemline of her skirt, and they were calloused and bleeding, as if the poor soul had walked for many miles before she collapsed from sheer exhaustion. For a moment Eloise thought she was seeing a vision of herself in the future and she shuddered, ignoring Joss's feeble protests and quickening her pace.

  It was half past one in the morning when she trudged into King's Cross station. Somehow she had managed to get Joss onto her back and his small arms were clamped around her neck in a stranglehold. The fingers of her left hand were curled into what felt like a permanent claw around the handle of the valise, and she had lost all feeling in the arm in which she carried Beth. The station was deserted, except for a few porters loading the mail train. The huge iron engine belched clouds of steam as it waited like a restless metal beast eager to thunder off along the tracks to its distant destinations. In eerie silence, engines and rolling stock stood alongside platforms like sleeping giants. There was a stale smell in the air and a cold wind hurtled along the platform, almost whipping Eloise's bonnet off her head. She made for the ladies only waiting room and to her dismay she discovered that it was locked. She stood mutely staring at the door. It had not occurred to her that she might not be able to gain access, and tears of exhaustion trickled from her eyes.

  She was barely aware of the trundling sound behind her as a porter pushed his trolley towards the mail train. H
e stopped by her side. 'You shouldn't have them nippers out at this time of night, ducks.'

  His voice was gruff but kindly and Eloise dashed her hand across her eyes, wincing at the pain as she touched the bruised skin. 'It's locked,' she said helplessly.

  The porter produced a bunch of keys from a chain hanging at his side. 'I shouldn't do this, ducks, but I can't let a young woman sleep rough.' He unlocked the door and ushered them into the waiting room, which smelt strongly of disinfectant. 'It ain't exactly home from home, but you'll be safe enough in here until morning.'

  'Thank you,' Eloise murmured tiredly. She put the valise down and flexed her fingers painfully. 'You're very kind.'

  'I got daughters of me own. I wouldn't want them to be roaming the streets at this time of night, especially with their nippers.' He eyed her shrewdly. 'Your old man give you that shiner, did he?'

  Eloise lifted her hand to touch her left eye and winced with pain. She had not had time to think about her appearance, but now as she glanced in the mirror above the empty grate she saw a white face with black shadows around her eyes and lips that were cut and swollen. She nodded vaguely but was saved from answering by Joss, who was attempting to scramble onto one of the wooden benches.

  'Here, let me.' The porter lifted Joss onto the seat and patted him on the head. 'There you are, boy. You be a good little chap for your ma. She looks fair done in.'

  Joss eyed him warily, sucked his thumb and curled up on the bench, closing his eyes.

  'Thank you again,' Eloise murmured, sinking down on the seat beside Joss and cradling the sleeping Beth in her arms. 'I'm very grateful.'

  'I'll have to lock you in for your own safety, ducks. But I'll unlock the door when me shift finishes at half past five, and you'll have to leave then before the cleaners come in to do their work.'

  'Yes, I understand.'

  He hesitated in the doorway. 'You should go back to him, love. Even if he knocks you about a bit, you should go back to your hubby. I daresay he'll be sorry for what he done when he sobers up a bit. It's a sad fact, but a bloke often uses his fists when he's had a drop too much to drink. But you won't get far on your own, and that's for certain.' He tipped his cap to her as he left the room, closing the door behind him.

  Eloise heard the key grate in the lock and she uttered a sigh of relief. They were safe, at least for the next few hours. She leaned against the wall, rocking Beth gently in her arms. The lights from the station shone through the frosted glass panels on the door, making criss-cross patterns on the tiled floor, and outside she could hear the muted sounds of doors slamming, trolley wheels rumbling along the platform and the piercing blast of the guard's whistle. The engine of the mail train roared into life and she heard its wheels grinding on the rails as it pulled out of the station.

  Eloise tried to keep awake by staring at the gaily coloured posters advertising seaside resorts and spa towns that hung on the walls, but gradually her eyelids became heavier and heavier and she began to drift off to sleep.

  She was awakened by the grating of the key in the lock and a blast of cold air as the door opened.

  'Sorry, love, but me shift's over. I got to ask you to move on.' The porter stood in the doorway, looking apologetic.

  Eloise stared at him for a moment, uncertain whether she was waking or dreaming, and then the reality of the situation hit her as Beth began to cry and Joss woke up with a start.

  'Here,' the porter said, shuffling into the waiting room. 'I thought you could do with a cup of tea, and there's some milk for the little 'uns.' He placed two mugs on the table. 'I can't stop, ducks, but you ain't got long afore the cleaning woman comes in.'

  'Thank you,' Eloise murmured, reaching out for the cup of milk with a grateful smile. 'You've been really kind to us. I won't forget it in a hurry.'

  'And you'll go back to your old man?'

  'I'll do what's right,' Eloise said tactfully.

  'Just so.' He backed out of the waiting room.

  'I'll be off then. Good luck, love.' In between giving Beth and Joss sips of the milk, Eloise drank her tea. She could hear sounds of the station coming back to life after its night's respite, and she knew that she must make a move. The hot, sweet tea was more than welcome, but she was stiff and sore and a quick glance in the mirror revealed a horrifying array of bruises on her face, so much so that she hardly recognised her own reflection. Joss was eyeing her oddly too, and she tried to make light of her injuries by telling him that she fell over and bumped her head. This explanation seemed to satisfy him, but he was now hungry and demanding food. Beth was gnawing at her fist and Eloise was feeling quite faint from hunger. Her first priority must be to get them something to eat, and then she would start looking for cheap lodgings.

  As they left the shelter of the waiting room, Eloise saw from the white face of the station clock that it was just half past five. She found a coffee stall that was just setting up and purchased a ham sandwich and a slice of fruit cake, which she shared out between them. The children ate ravenously and Eloise took only a small amount of food for herself. Her split lip made eating difficult and the bread stuck in her throat when she attempted to swallow, but Joss and Beth had no trouble consuming their share of sandwich and cake. Outside the station, Eloise paused on the pavement, wondering which way to go. Even at this early hour the streets were beginning to fill with people on their way to their various places of employment. She kept looking over her shoulder, glancing anxiously at the faces of the men who strode towards her. Any one of them could be the man called Pike, who was intent on finding them. He must have an idea of what she looked like, but in that he had the advantage of her. Too scared to walk the main streets, Eloise went instinctively away from the city centre, heading north towards Maiden Lane. The streets were narrow and clogged with carts containing rubbish and night soil as the carters headed for the dust yard. The air was almost too thick to breathe and the sunrise was partially obliterated by a cloud of dust, so that the sun itself looked like a blood orange lurking behind a veil of gauze. Eloise had no idea where she was going, but she was afraid to turn back. She hesitated, looking round at the unfamiliar surroundings. The stench of the dust yard was appalling and made her want to retch. The noise from beyond the high wall was almost deafening, and she was about to cross the road when a horse-drawn vehicle appeared seemingly out of nowhere.

  'Whoa. Look out there, you bloody fool.' The carter's warning shout came almost too late as the carthorse reared in its shafts, and the sudden braking of the huge iron-rimmed wheels caused sparks to fly up from the cobblestones. Clutching Beth to her bosom, Eloise dragged Joss off his feet as she staggered and fell against the brick wall of the dust yard, hitting her head and seeing nothing except the metallic gleam of hooves rising above her head.

  Chapter Twelve

  'Hey there, you clumsy great oaf. Don't you never look where you're going?'

  Eloise struggled back to full consciousness to see a wild-looking woman standing in the road, shaking her fist at the carter. She was covered from the top of her battered black bonnet to her booted feet in grit and coal dust, and a pair of fierce brown eyes glared at the man through a mask of dirt. 'You great booby, you nearly run down this poor soul and her nippers.'

  The carter responded with a volley of invective, emphasising each word with a crack of the whip above the poor horse's ears as he steered it through the open gates into the yard. 'I'll have words to say to you later on, Peg Tranter.'

  The woman he called Peg stuck out her tongue. 'You can bugger off, Mick. I got nothing more to say to you now or later.' She turned her back on him, giving her attention to Joss who was wailing with fright and pain from a scraped knee. She took off a red scarf that was knotted around her throat and tied it round the injured limb. 'There's a brave little soldier. All better now?'

  Despite a bump on the head and a badly bruised shoulder, Eloise's first concern was for Beth who was sobbing in her arms. A quick examination reassured her that the baby was unhurt by their fal
l, and a kiss and a cuddle soon comforted her. Eloise glanced anxiously at Joss, but he seemed happy enough having the full attention of the strange-looking woman, and he was tracing a pattern in the dirt on her cheek with one small finger. Eloise scrambled to her feet. 'Thank you, ma'am. I think the brute would have run us down if you had not stopped him.'

  'Nah, he wouldn't. Mick is just a bag of hot air. Got a temper on him, but he wouldn't harm a fly.'

  Eloise tried to smile, but her split lip began to bleed again and she raised her hand to her mouth. 'Thank you, anyway.'

  'Well, I dunno what you're doing here at this hour of the morning, and with two nippers in tow, but judging by the looks of you, you already come off the worse from some bloke's fist.' Peg stood back, arms akimbo as she took in Eloise's bruised and dishevelled appearance. 'Jealous sort, is he? Caught you with another fellah, did he?'

  Eloise shook her head. 'No. It wasn't like that. Really, I must be getting on . . .' She swayed dizzily and Peg rushed forward to snatch Beth from her arms.

  'Why, you're half dead on your feet. You ain't going nowhere for a while. What you need is a nice hot cup of tea and a sit down.' Ignoring Eloise's feeble protests, Peg took Joss by the hand and strode off, leading the way to a narrow alley at the back of the dust yard. Separated from the workings by a high brick wall, a row of dilapidated single-storey cottages lay in the menacing shadow of the dust heap, which towered above them like a foul-smelling black mountain. Eloise paused to catch her breath, staring at the strange monochrome landscape that was unlike anything she had ever seen before. Fine particles floated down from the skies like dry rain, obliterating the cobblestones and smothering the cottages in a grey mantle. The air was thick with the dust, making it difficult to breathe, and Eloise covered her mouth and nose with her hands, but Peg seemed oblivious to it all and she marched up to the first cottage, opened the door and disappeared inside taking the children with her. Eloise had no option but to follow them and she paused in the doorway, blinking as her eyes grew accustomed to the dim light.