by Dilly Court
To her astonishment, Caine lifted her hand to his lips and brushed it with a kiss.
'I respect you all the more for that, Eloise. I'm begging you to stay on, if only for Maria's sake.'
'I will,' Eloise murmured. 'I will stay as long as she needs me.'
'I can't ask more than that, my dear. I promise I won't say or do anything to make you feel uncomfortable, but may I suggest that you move into Miss Trinder's old room, which is next to Maria's? You would be so much more comfortable living here and it would make Maria happy.'
Becky and Tibbie's warning came forcibly to mind. She did not really believe that Caine would try to force himself upon her, but she was no longer the innocent and trusting girl she had once been. She snatched her hand away. 'No, thank you, that wouldn't be right. Miss Marchant would not approve and I still have duties in the nursery. I think we will do better to continue as we are.'
He walked away and she could not see his face. He went over to his desk to pick up a sheaf of papers and when he spoke his tone was noncommittal. 'Very well, whatever suits you best. Now, I really must get to that meeting or they will think I am not coming.' As Caine walked past her, he paused to touch her cheek with the tips of his fingers. 'I will never speak of this again, but if you should change your mind . . .'
She was drowning in the depths of his eyes. The temptation to give way to her emotions was so strong that Eloise felt herself swaying towards him. To feel his arms around her and his lips on hers would be her idea of pure heaven, but she stopped herself just in time and she moved away from him. 'You'd best hurry, or you will be very late for your appointment.'
'I just want you to know that you look ten times lovelier in that gown than Rosamund ever did. Please don't wear it again.' He left the room and the door swung shut, leaving Eloise staring at the wooden panels with her emotions so raw that she wanted to scream.
At first she thought it was going to be impossible to carry on as before. Caine's admission of his love for her had shaken her to the core. Her instinctive response to him had made it agonisingly hard not to give way to her feelings, but Joss and Beth must always come first. No matter how much she loved Barton Caine, she could never enter into a relationship with him if he did not accept her children. It was a heartbreaking decision, but after their last meeting Eloise tried to distance herself from him, and she spent every minute that she could in the nursery.
Now that Joss had regained his voice and his memory, it was increasingly hard to keep up the pretence that they were unrelated, and Phoebe was growing more suspicious every day. It had been particularly difficult on Beth's first birthday. Eloise had bought her a wooden doll with shiny black painted hair and rosy cheeks. She had smuggled it into the nursery under her apron and it had been a joy to see Beth's eyes light up as she clutched the doll in her chubby starfish fingers, but then Phoebe had demanded to know why Eloise had singled her out for a present, and she had pretended that a well-wisher had donated the gift. Beth was the only girl child big enough to appreciate a dolly, Eloise had said hastily. The boys would simply tear it to pieces. A tricky moment had passed, helped by the arrival of Matron on her ward round which had diverted Phoebe's attention.
At night in her narrow bed in the attic room, Eloise mulled over the possibility of confiding in Phoebe, but if she did that she might as well write it on the blackboard in the schoolroom for everyone to see. Phoebe was a notorious gossip, and although listening to her tittle-tattle made for an entertaining break in the daily routine, Eloise did not want to become the main topic of discussion amongst the staff in the Foundling Hospital.
As the days passed and October gave way to a cold and foggy November, Eloise found it harder than ever to leave her children, and the feelings of guilt that she experienced were as sharp as any of the pains she had suffered in giving birth to them. Her yearning to be with Caine, even if it was just for a few minutes each day, was a torment in itself, but added to the constant fear of her deception being discovered, she felt as though she was being torn apart. Maria had grown dependent upon her and demanded more and more of her attention, making it difficult for Eloise to spend as much time as she would like with Joss and Beth.
Normally on a Sunday Eloise would spend the afternoon in the nursery, enabling her to be alone with her children and allowing Phoebe the opportunity of passing some time at home, but on this particular day Eloise had been invited for tea at the governor's house at Maria's special request. Once again, she felt as though she was being pulled both ways. One part of her was locked in the nursery with her babies while her other self was desperate to spend a few precious moments with Barton. Since the fateful day when he had declared his love for her, their relationship had been fragile. They had not been alone together since that time, and, although Eloise had never sought Caine's company, she was always intensely aware of his presence. Sometimes, when he was near, she felt that her heart was beating to the same rhythm as his, and she always knew if his eyes were upon her. She had only to turn her head and meet his gaze to know that she was as much in his thoughts as he was in hers. It was agony and it was ecstasy but she knew that it could not go on forever. One day their feelings would bubble to the surface like molten larva, and there would be nothing that either of them could do to prevent the inevitable eruption of suppressed emotions.
When it was time for her to leave the nursery, Eloise gave Beth a last kiss and a cuddle. She had already explained to Joss that she would have to leave them for a while, and since he was busy playing with William she chose that moment to slip away. But as she closed the door, she heard Joss's voice raised in protest. He was screaming for his mama and she could hear his small feet drumming on the bare floorboards. If his attention was not diverted, he would soon be in the throes of another tantrum, but Eloise had to close her ears to his screams. She was tempted to send word to Barton excusing herself from joining them for tea, but he would demand to know the reason for her absence, and that would be difficult to explain. Eloise hurried on, covering her ears with her hands. She could only hope and pray that Phoebe would be kind and understanding to a deeply distressed small boy. Outside, the hospital was shrouded in fog which was rapidly turning yellow; a sure sign that by dusk it would have developed into a choking pea-souper. The damp, swirling mist wrapped itself around her and she could barely make out the edges of the path, but she knew the route to the governor's house blindfold and she quickened her step. Sounds were muted by the fog, but suddenly a small figure loomed in front of Eloise and they almost collided.
'Oh, Ellen, it's you!' Annie flung her arms around Eloise's neck and began to sob hysterically.
'You gave me such a fright,' Eloise gasped. As she put her arm around Annie's shoulders she realised that she had neither coat nor shawl and the back of her dress was wet and torn. Eloise withdrew her hand and was horrified to see blood on her fingers. 'Annie, what happened? Who did this to you?'
'It was her, the old cow,' Annie sobbed. 'She beat me black and blue for breaking a plate. It were an accident. I never meant to drop it, but she took a cane and thrashed me until I was sick. I've runned away and I'm never going back there. Never!'
Eloise took off her own shawl and wrapped it round Annie's thin shoulders. 'We must get you indoors and see to those cuts on your back. That woman has gone too far this time.'
'I ain't going back,' Annie cried, clinging desperately to Eloise. 'Maybe they'll take me in here, just until me mum comes for me.'
'The first thing is to get you inside and out of the cold,' Eloise said, thinking quickly. She dared not take Annie to Matron, who would probably send her straight to the workhouse since she was too old to remain in the Foundling Hospital. 'We'll go to Mr Caine's house.' She took Annie by the hand, and they made their way through the fog to the tradesmen's entrance of the governor's house. Eloise hoped to smuggle Annie into the kitchen and rely on Mrs Dean's kind heart and discretion. If Barton knew of Annie's fate he would have to act responsibly and possibly return her to her employer. That, Eloise deci
ded, must not happen. Queenie King was a monster in tight stays, quite unfit to run a bordello, let alone a lodging house.
In the kitchen, Mrs Dean was just putting the finishing touches to an iced cake and Jessie was licking out the mixing bowl with evident relish. They both stared at Annie as if she were a stray dog that Eloise had found roaming the streets.
'What's all this?' Mrs Dean demanded.
'This is Annie,' Eloise said, pushing her gently onto the seat of a chair. 'She is a friend of mine who has been badly used by her employer.' Eloise peeled her shawl off Annie's shoulders to reveal the wheals, cuts and bruises on her exposed back.
Mrs Dean winced and Jessie put the bowl down, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand. 'Blimey, she ain't half took a bashing. Her back looks like raw beefsteak.'
'Hush, Jessie,' Mrs Dean said, frowning. 'Fetch some clean linen and a bowl of warm water.'
Annie shivered, looking from one to the other. 'I'll be all right, missis. Me mum will come for me directly.'
Mrs Dean met Eloise's eyes with a questioning look, and Eloise shook her head. She patted Annie on an uninjured part of her shoulder. 'You won't want your mum to see you looking like you've been in a fight with Tom Cribb, now would you, Annie?'
Annie grinned and shook her head. 'Dunno who Tom Cribb is, but I wouldn't want to frighten her off, not after all this time. I must be twelve soon, although I dunno when me birthday is. Ma forgot to put it on the label she tied round me wrist when she left me on the doorstep.'
Mrs Dean clicked her tongue against her teeth and raised her eyes to heaven. 'Dear Lord, what are we coming to?'
Jessie came in from the scullery carrying some rags and she poured water from the kettle into a bowl, which she placed on the table in front of Eloise. 'Poor little soul,' she murmured. 'She looks done in.'
'Oy!' Annie cried, bristling. 'Less of your lip, you. I bet I'm the same age as you, or even older, so don't give me none of your sauce.'
Eloise dipped a rag in the water, and having wrung it out she started to bathe Annie's back. She had to grit her teeth in order to touch the damaged flesh and she bit back an angry tirade against Queenie King for inflicting such injuries on a mere child, but Annie bore it all bravely, stifling her groans by stuffing her hand in her mouth. Just as Eloise was finishing, one of the bells from above stairs jingled on its spring.
Mrs Dean glanced up at the board. 'It's the master. Go and see what he wants, Jessie.'
Eloise wiped her hands on her apron. 'No, it's all right, Jessie. I'll go. He's expecting me anyway and so is Maria.'
Caine looked up as Eloise entered the drawing room and her heart did a bunny hop inside her breast at the smile of genuine delight on his face. He rose to his feet but Maria forestalled him by leaping up from a footstool by the fire and running to Eloise to give her a hug. 'I thought you weren't coming, Ellen,' she said, taking her by the hand. 'Papa was going to come looking for you. We thought you might be lost in the fog.'
'For heaven's sake, give Miss Monk a chance to catch her breath.' Caine ruffled Maria's hair, but his gaze was fixed on Eloise's face and there was an unspoken question in his eyes.
'I'm sorry I'm late,' Eloise said, smiling and hoping that Caine could not hear the frantic beating of her heart, and that he would assume her breathlessness was due to exertion. 'I came across a young girl in distress and I took her to the kitchen where I knew Mrs Dean would look after her.'
'She ought to be taken straight to Matron,' Caine said dismissively. 'I'll send her over with Jessie.'
'No!' Eloise laid her hand on his sleeve. 'No, sir. You don't understand.'
'Don't I?' He covered her hand with his. 'What don't I understand, Eloise?'
'Oh, Pa. You are silly,' Maria said, giggling. 'You know her name is Ellen. Why do you call her Eloise?'
'It's a secret between the three of us,' Eloise said hastily. 'You may call me Eloise if you like, or Ellie, if that is easier.'
Maria cocked her head on one side. 'I think I like Ellie best. It is halfway between Ellen and Eloise. I shall call you Ellie. May I go and see the girl downstairs, Papa?'
Caine shook his head. 'You'd best stay up here in case she is suffering from some infectious disease. Come, Eloise. We'll go and see her together.'
'Annie is not sick,' Eloise protested as Caine followed her downstairs to the kitchen. 'She has been beaten to within an inch of her life by her employer.'
'It happens,' Caine said grimly.
Warm air scented with the appetising smell of baking wafted from the kitchen as Eloise opened the door. Annie leapt to her feet and ran to meet Caine. 'Sir, do you remember me now? You never said nothing when you last saw me in the gardens with Ellie, but I'm Annie. I was raised here in the Foundling Hospital.'
Caine stared at her for a moment and then he smiled. 'Of course I remember you, Annie. You were always in trouble, as I recall. You came before me in my office many times and nearly drove poor Matron out of her mind.'
'That wouldn't be difficult,' Mrs Dean muttered.
Caine frowned at her. 'Thank you, Mrs Dean. Perhaps you would be kind enough to give Annie some food and see if you can find something suitable for her to wear. We must have something tucked away somewhere. Something perhaps that Jessie has outgrown.' He turned his attention to Annie. 'Come and see me before you leave, Annie. I may be able to help you find alternative employment and I'll give you enough money for a night's lodging and an address where you can trust the landlady not to cheat you.'
'But, sir,' Eloise protested. 'You can't think of sending the child out on a night like this. It's almost dark and the fog is getting worse.'
'Let me stay here, guv?' Annie pleaded. 'I can work in the hospital laundry or scrub floors. I'm a strong girl and willing.'
'We'll sort something out later,' Caine told her firmly. 'In the meantime you do as Mrs Dean says.'
Annie subsided onto a chair. 'Yes, sir. You can rely on me.'
'We'll take tea in the drawing room now, Mrs Dean, if you please.' Caine opened the door and stepped outside into the passage leading to the back stairs. 'Come along, Miss Monk,' he called. 'Maria will be getting impatient.'
Eloise hesitated and she patted Annie on the arm with a sympathetic smile. 'Don't worry, dear. I won't let him send you out on a night like this.'
'I don't fancy your chances,' Mrs Dean said, eyeing the doorway as if she expected Caine to be listening at the keyhole. 'I've never known the master change his mind once it's made up.'
'We'll see about that.' Eloise hurried after Caine and caught him up on the stairs. 'You surely can't be thinking of sending Annie back onto the streets. She certainly can't go back to that awful Mrs King and she's just a child. Anything could happen to her.'
Caine paused on the top step and he gave her a searching glance. 'How do you know so much about Annie?'
'I – I . . .' Eloise struggled to think of a simple explanation. It had not occurred to her until this moment that Annie could reveal a lot more about her than she wanted Barton to know. Annie had only to enquire after Joss and Beth and the truth would out.
'You have no answer to that,' Caine said coldly. 'Is this another secret from your past that you have kept hidden from me?'
Chapter Twenty-one
'I think I hear Maria calling to us,' Eloise cried, slipping past him and making her way across the entrance hall to the drawing room. She thrust the door open only to discover Maria sitting quietly by the fire, studying the pictures in a book of fairy tales.
Caine was so close behind her that Eloise could feel his warm breath on the back of her neck. 'It seems you were mistaken.' He caught her by the wrist and spun her round to face him. 'What is it that you are not telling me?'
She snatched her hand away. 'I stayed at Mrs King's lodging house in Nile Street for a few days on my return to London. That is how I met Annie. Are you satisfied now, or must I account for every day of my life before I came to work for you, sir?'
'You are being mean to El
lie again, Pa.' Maria rushed to her side. 'Stop it, I say.'
Caine gave Eloise a despairing glance and his eyes were as bleak as the winter sky. 'As you are so quick to remind me, Eloise, it is really none of my business.'
'I'm hungry,' Maria said, stamping her foot. 'I want my tea.'
Eloise reached out to brush a lock of golden hair from Maria's forehead and she gave her an encouraging smile. 'Why don't you go downstairs to the kitchen and help Jessie? Then we can have tea straight away.'
'And I can see the strange girl,' Maria said delightedly, and ran from the room, slamming the door behind her.
Eloise went over to Caine who was standing by the window, staring out into the nothingness of the fog. She touched him tentatively on the arm. 'I did not mean to offend you, but you are right, sir. What I did before I came to the Foundling Hospital is my concern. We have agreed that there can be nothing between us . . .'
Caine turned on her with his eyes snapping angrily. 'You wanted that, not I. I agreed never to speak of my feelings for you again, but it is you who have built a brick wall between us.'
Eloise lowered her gaze, unable to bear the hurt and anguish which she knew were the cause of his frustration and anger. 'I am just an employee here, sir. Until my parents return from their mission I cannot afford to lose my position, but perhaps it would be better if I returned to working full time in the hospital. It's obvious to me that we can't get along, and we're just upsetting Maria.'
With a groan that could have been an exclamation of impatience or a cry of pain, he took her by the shoulders, and his eyes seemed to bore into her soul. 'My God, Eloise, you know how to turn the knife in a man's guts. I don't want you to go back to scrubbing floors and cleaning out privies. I want you here where I know you are treated with respect.' He ran his finger lightly down the thin silver scar on her cheek. 'And where this sort of thing cannot happen again. If I cannot have you then at least I want to be certain you are out of harm's way.'
Her lips trembled and she could not speak. Tears sprang to her eyes and she tried to break free but Caine only tightened his grip. His eyes darkened and he bent his head and kissed her with a ferocity that took her breath away. He wrapped his arms around her, running his fingers through her hair so that it fell freely about her shoulders. She struggled, but even as she tried to push him away her treacherous body responded to his embrace and she parted her lips with a sigh. Time seemed to stand still. She could hear nothing but the pounding of her heart, or was it his? She simply could not tell. The touch and taste of him were as intoxicating as the finest wine and her whole body was aflame with desire.