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by Lee Goldberg

  "No," Charlie said. "She did it."

  Lou sighed with relief. "Then what are you so pissed off about?"

  "I assumed the murders and the attempts on my life were all connected," Charlie said. "They are, but not by the same killer. They're connected by the show."

  Chapter Twenty Six

  The police car dropped Charlie Willis off in front of the Pinnacle Studios main gate, but when he tried to go in, a guard stopped him.

  "Do you have a pass?" the guard asked.

  "I'm Charlie Willis, I work here," Charlie said. "I'm the star of Beyond the Beyond."

  The guard shared a look with his counterpart in the security shack. "You got some ID?"

  Charlie suddenly remembered how he was dressed. No wallet, no identification. Just his Confederation insignia.

  "My ID is in my trailer, along with my clothes. This isn't how I really dress. I'm in costume."

  "Uh-huh," the guard said.

  "Look, why don't you just escort me to my trailer and I can show you my ID when we get there."

  "I don't think so," the guard said.

  Charlie thought about it from their point of view. A guy in dressed like a spaceman is dropped off by the police in front of the studio. What did he expect the guards to think?

  "Do me a favor, call extension 7404, and ask Alison Sweeney to look out her window at the front gate," Charlie said. "She'll vouch for me."

  The guard looked at his partner, who shrugged and dialed the phone.

  * * * * * *

  Alison Sweeney was at her desk, watching six TVs at the same time, the sound muted. Each station was broadcasting reports on the melee at Pinnacle City.

  Her phone rang. It was the front gate, saying there was a crazy person dressed like Captain Pierce who wanted her to look out the window. She did.

  Charlie Willis waved at her.

  "I'll be right down," she said.

  * * * * * *

  The guards apologized to Charlie, but he told them to forget it, they were doing their jobs. Even so, Alison was still upset as they walked back to the building.

  "They stopped you, but they didn't even notice when Guy Goddard walked through without a pass."

  Charlie stopped. "Guy Goddard was here? When?"

  "While someone was trying to run us over," she said. "Eddie was talking to him on the set."

  "Where's Eddie now?" Charlie asked. "I need to see him."

  Alison shook her head. "I don't know. His car is gone and he's not answering his cell phone. The execs here and at the network are in a panic. To be honest with you, after what happened to us, I'm worried about him."

  If what Charlie suspected was true, she had reason to be.

  "What can you tell me about Guy Goddard?"

  "He hasn't worked in years, probably because he refuses to be seen in public wearing anything but his Confederation uniform," she said. "The only role he'll play is Captain Pierce, not that he will ever be offered it again."

  Charlie remembered his brief encounter with Goddard a few hours ago.

  I'm Captain Pierce of the Confederation starship Endeavor. Who the fuck are you?

  Guy Goddard had to be pissed off that he was rejected by for the revival, not once, but twice, just like Shari. Charlie couldn't help wondering if Guy Goddard was willing to kill over it, too.

  Clive Odett and Eddie Planet had nothing to gain from the Beyond the Beyond killings. But Guy Goddard and Shari Planet did, regaining their roles if they were lucky, getting revenge if nothing else. Maybe they were in it together and maybe not.

  "Where have you been?" asked Alison.

  "With the police," Charlie said. "Shari Planet killed Conrad Stipe."

  He filled her in on the details, along with his suspicion that someone else wanted Stipe dead, but got the wrong address.

  "Oh my God," Alison said. "Is Eddie Planet involved?"

  "I don't know," Charlie said. "Can you can find out where Guy Goddard lives?"

  "Sure, I can call the Screen Actors Guild, find out where they're sending his residuals. Why?"

  "Good. You call, I'll drive," Charlie took her by the arm and led her towards her car. "If my hunch is right, Eddie could be in grave danger."

  * * * * * *

  Eddie Planet spent a good part of his life avoiding physical labor. He hired other people for that. His monthly payroll included a gardener, a pool man, a maid, and a detail service that came to wash his car.

  He didn't own a single tool. If something needed to be installed, planted, maintained, inserted, adjusted or applied, someone was hired to complete the task, freeing him to create. He never so much as changed a light-bulb.

  Which is why it was absurd to ask him to dig his own grave, much less one with room for three.

  Captain Pierce wasn't wild about the idea either, especially since it was taking Eddie so damn long to do it. But it had been a many years since Captain Pierce exerted himself, either. One of the many perks of authority was having plenty of underlings to assign the strenuous work to. Unfortunately, all of his loyal crew members were either dead or unaccounted for.

  And, despite a strict diet of space food sticks and Tang, the strange atmosphere on this bizarre planet had taken its toll on his once lean physique. There had been time when he could wrestle a globulan meebocite, make love to three woman, and engage in a laser battle with an entire army of Dorcons and not break a sweat. But after twenty minutes of digging, he was so exhausted, he had to drag Eddie Planet out of the trunk to do the work.

  While Eddie Planet dug, Captain Pierce stood in the shade of the back porch, holding a Confederation handkerchief to his nose with one hand and a .357 Magnum on Eddie with the other.

  After two hours, the grave was barely three feet deep. And the longer Eddie worked, the worse he smelled. Sweat, shit and piss were caked on him like a second layer of clothes. Captain Pierce wanted to kill him just to stop the odor. But there was a worse stink in the house to deal with first.

  "Enough!" the Captain yelled.

  Eddie dropped the shovel and dropped to his knees, hands folding in front of him.

  "I made a terrible mistake, and I'm ready to make amends. Let me live, and I'll not only make you the Captain, but co-exec producer too!"

  He wasn't sure why he was bothering to beg. Between the electric shocks and the hard work, he was probably going to die from a massive heart attack at any moment.

  "Get up," the Captain barked, "I'm not done with you yet."

  "I can't dig any more," Eddie whined, getting to his feet. "I've got blisters all over my hands."

  "You're finished digging," The Captain motioned Eddie towards the house with the gun. "It's time to bring the bodies out."

  "Bodies?" Eddie asked.

  "They're in the brig," Captain Pierce jammed the gun into Eddie's back.

  "Move."

  Eddie opened the screen door and stepped into the house.

  After being kidnapped, shoved in the trunk of his car, electrocuted a couple times, and forced to dig his own grave, he thought he was past being shocked by anything. Certainly, by anything as mundane as decor. He was wrong.

  "I love what you've done with the place," Eddie said carefully. "Very homey."

  He knew Guy Goddard was insane, but he didn't know just how far gone the man really was until he saw the bridge of the starship Endeavor crudely recreated in the man's living room.

  "The damage isn't as bad as it looks," The Captain said. "This starship is as space-worthy as the day it left Jupiter's orbit, Chief Engineer Glerp has seen to that. All it needs are a few nitrozine power cells."

  He pushed Eddie towards the hallway. The stench of rot was so strong, it overwhelmed Eddie's own foul smell. The sound of gurgling water and buzzing flies echoed off the walls as they approached the bathroom. Eddie paused outside the door, not wanting to look inside.

  "I really shouldn't lift anything heavy without a brace," Eddie said. "I've got a herniated disc in my lower back."

  Captain P
ierce lifted his foot and gave Eddie a sharp kick in the ass, sending Eddie tumbling into the bathroom. Eddie landed in Clive Odett's lap, looked up and saw the dead agent's frozen face hanging over him, flies swarming in his eyes, nose and mouth.

  Eddie screamed and scrambled back, right on top of Bev Huncke's mushy, putrid corpse. He screamed again and jerked away, slamming his head against the porcelain sink. That's when he saw Zita standing against the wall behind the door, a butcher knife gleaming in her hands.

  She put a finger to her lips. Shoosh.

  "Stop whining and get to work," demanded Captain Pierce, standing in the hall, unable to see Zita behind the door.

  Eddie understood it then. Whoever she was, she wasn't here to hurt him. She was here to help.

  Zita motioned for him to take away the dead woman. Eddie bent over Bev, noticing for the first time that she had a rubber elephant nose on her face. Grabbing her by the ankles, he slowly backed out of the room, dragging her out.

  Captain Pierce stepped aside to let Eddie drag the corpse past him, then followed Eddie down the hall, keeping his gun trained on him.

  They were nearly in the living room, when Eddie looked up and saw Zita creeping up behind Captain Pierce, her knife raised high, ready to plunge it into his back.

  What Eddie didn't see was Melvah beside him, on the other side of the archway, holding a baseball bat. She shoved Captain Pierce down and swung the bat at Zita's face, connecting with a loud, wet smack.

  Zita's head snapped back between her shoulder blades and she collapsed, dead before she hit the floor.

  Captain Pierce glanced down at the caved-in face of his attacker, the knife still gripped in her dead hand and gave Melvah an appreciate smile.

  "Good work, Ensign," the Captain said.

  Melvah nodded and tossed her bat aside. She couldn't bear to look at what she'd done.

  Neither could Eddie. His last hope was gone.

  Captain Pierce aimed his gun at Eddie. "Looks like you're going to have to dig that grave a little deeper."

  Chapter Twenty Seven

  While Eddie used Zita's knife to cut the duct tape that held Clive Odett's corpse to the toilet, he considered his situation.

  This was the fourth act, the hero was in deep shit, and the bad guys were in control. Melvah paced in the hall, the gun held at her side. Captain Pierce was "on the bridge," contemplating his next move. But like all villains, they were so sure of themselves, they'd gotten sloppy.

  They gave him a knife.

  All Eddie had to do was spin around and throw the knife at Melvah's neck, impaling her dead to the wall. He'd catch the gun before it hit the floor, creep silently down the hall, and as Captain Pierce swiveled around in his command chair, he'd fire a bullet right into his twisted brain. In less than two minutes, they'd be dead and he'd be free.

  The end of another thrilling episode. Stay tuned for scenes from next week's show.

  Unfortunately, Eddie had the imagination, he didn't have the skill.

  If this was a TV show, he had everything he needed to prevail over his captors. But in real life, even if he were able to spin around without slipping on the linoleum, Melvah would shoot him before the knife was out of his hand. And even if she didn't, he had no idea how to throw a knife any way. He'd probably slice off his fingers and miss her by a foot.

  The last piece of tape tore, and Clive Odett fell forward onto the floor, a duct-taped mummy ready for burial.

  It was now or never. Lunge at her with the knife. Die like hero.

  But Eddie wasn't a hero. A hero's legs wouldn't be stiff after an hour on his knees. A hero wouldn't need to set the knife down and grab the sink to pull himself up.

  Melvah looked at Eddie. "What are you waiting for? Get him out of here."

  Maybe he couldn't fight his way out of this, but there was another way. He was a producer, it was time to behave like one. Deal, baby, deal.

  * * * * * *

  Charlie Willis pulled Alison's blue Miata over to the curb across the street from Guy Goddard's deteriorating ranch-style house. There was an old Buick parked out front with the words "Shuttle Craft One" spray painted on it, a balled-up rag shoved into the tank passing for a gas cap. A sparkling new, black Lexus, with the personal plate ExecProd, was parked in the carport beside the house.

  "That's Eddie's car," Alison said, stating the obvious.

  "Call the police," Charlie pulled himself out of the convertible. "I'll be right back."

  "What are you going to do?"

  "Take a look around," Charlie said. "Nothing to worry about."

  While Alison made the call, Charlie sprinted across the street, crept up to the side of Guy Goddard's house, and peeked through the bathroom window.

  * * * * * *

  Eddie put his hands under Odett's arms and dragged him out of the bathroom. Melvah stepped aside to let Eddie past, but kept her gun on him.

  "Guy Goddard's a complete whacko, he really believes he's Captain Pierce and this house is the starship Endeavor," Eddie said. "But I think you know he's a washed up actor and this is a dump in Van Nuys."

  "I don't give a shit what you think," she followed him down the hall.

  "You know he's never going to play Captain Pierce again," Eddie whispered. "Killing me isn't going to change that. But you never really cared about Goddard, did you? You have a different agenda."

  "Shut up," she hissed.

  * * * * * *

  Charlie ducked under the bathroom window. He had to do something to save Eddie. But what could he do? There were at least two bad guys in the house, and one of them had a gun. Which was one more gun than Charlie had.

  Keeping low, Charlie crept quickly and quietly towards the backyard. He peered around the edge of the house and saw the open grave, a shovel sticking up in the dirt.

  Charlie figured Eddie had about two minutes left to live.

  Eddie opened the screen door with his butt and backed outside, Odett's head clunking on the two steps leading to the yard as he pulled him out.

  "There is a way you can get what you want."

  "I've already got what I want," Melvah said. "I'm running Beyond the Beyond."

  Eddie dragged Odett to the grave and pushed him on top of Zita and Bev. Now he was the only one left to kill and throw in the pit. Deal, Eddie, deal.

  "No, you're not, you're just sitting at my desk," Eddie said. "You kill me and they'll bring in another show-runner to take my place. And he'll boot you off the lot, just like I did. You can kill every producer in Hollywood and you'll still never get the show. But like I said, there is a way."

  And if he couldn't convince her, Melvah would shoot him and bury the bodies. But she'd have to do it with her bare hands, the shovel was gone.

  "I'm listening," she said.

  "Let me go, and your problems are solved," Eddie tried to keep his voice from cracking.

  "I don't see how," Melvah replied.

  "You were born to write this show, you know everything about the universe and, let's face it, I don't know shit about Beyond the Beyond," Eddie said. "But I've got something you don't, network approval. I'm a certified show-runner. As long as I'm executive producer, in name only, you can write every script, make every decision, while I keep the network off your back and collect my paycheck. Hell, you'd be doing me a favor."

  "What about them?" she motioned to the grave with her gun. He saw some hope.

  "Water under the bridge," Eddie waved his hand, brushing the whole, ugly incident away. "They weren't friends of mine anyway."

  * * * * * *

  Alison counted to ten, like Charlie told her, and then lit the match, touching the flame to the rag that was shoved into the gas tank of "Shuttle Craft One." Then she ran for cover behind her Miata.

  * * * * * *

  Melvah pointed the gun at Eddie's head. "I don't think so."

  "Why not?" Eddie whimpered, falling to his knees.

  "You have no respect for human life," she said.

  "I don't?" h
e said. "I haven't killed anybody."

  "Your actions have," she said. "Bev and I served fandom together for years. Zita and I were lovers. If I don't kill you, they died for nothing."

  Melvah cocked the trigger, Eddie closed his eyes, and there was an earth-shaking explosion.

  But it wasn't a gunshot Eddie heard, it was a '71 Buick Riviera blowing up.

  Melvah whirled towards the sound, and Charlie burst out of hiding beside the house, swinging the shovel, whacking her across the back. She tumbled into the grave, the gun flying out of her hand into the weeds.

  Eddie rose to his feet and stared at Charlie. What an entrance. "In-fucking-credible."

  Charlie peered into the grave. Melvah was as still as the corpses. He'd never seen the woman with the elephant nose before, but he recognized Odett.

  Alison rushed into the backyard, a relieved smile breaking out on her face the instant she saw them.

  Eddie held out his arms for a big, cinematic hug. She ran to past him and embraced Charlie.

  Eddie's feelings weren't hurt. She'd hug him in the TV movie version — and he'd take out Melvah in the bathroom with the knife. He looked beyond her at the black smoke curling into the sky behind the house. Approaching sirens wailed in the distance. What a shot. But it still needed line, a button to end on.

  "The nightmare is finally over," Eddie said into the non-existent camera. Cue the music, bring up the credits.

  "Not quite," Charlie said. "Where's Goddard?"

  Eddie motioned to the house. Charlie had no sense of drama. "He's on the bridge."

  "What does that mean?" Charlie asked.

  "You'll see," Eddie said.

  Charlie started towards the house. Alison grabbed his arm.

  "Please don't. The police are on the way," she said. "Let them handle it."

  Charlie shook his head. "I have to finish this."

  * * * * * *

  The moment Captain Pierce felt the blast, he knew the Endeavor was under attack by the aliens. He strapped himself into the command chair and turned to Dr. Kelvin.

  "Report," the Captain snapped.

  "We're surrounded by three, unidentified alien vessels," she said. "They've got the ship locked in a grapnel beam."