Infatuation

by River Savage

“One day, when you’re ready, I’m gonna take your hands and tie them behind your back, and fuck you like this.” His words are like an electric current running through me, setting every nerve ending on fire.

  Would I let him tie me? Allow him total control?

  “You’re gonna fucking love it, darlin’,” Beau answers my silent question, and the way he says it makes me believe him. So I don’t argue. I just let my body relax into it and let him take what he needs. What we both need.

  “Tell me you want it, darlin’,” he pushes, needing my words.

  Always words.

  “I want it, Beau. I want you to do it,” I confess, giving myself over to him. I’m not sure I’m ready right now, but the thought of being tied under him excites me more than I thought it would.

  “I will.” His strokes build faster, harder, more controlled. Then when I think I can’t take it anymore, he reaches around, flicks my clit once and I’m coming apart under him.

  “Beau, yes!” I scream, letting the orgasm hit me and take me under, dragging me beneath a wild current and forcing me to swim. His piercing drags out my orgasm, pulling me along a little bit further as he succumbs to his own release.

  “God, yes. Fuck, darlin’,” he grunts out, before sinking his teeth into my shoulder.

  “Holy shit, Beau.” I buck at the unexpected pain, then soothe myself as his hips slow. His breathing is harsh, but his strokes are gentle so I take comfort in it. This is Beau. Hard and soft. Rough and smooth. For every action, he controls my reaction and I can’t help but be drawn into it, into him.

  “We’re gonna be late,” I whisper, my voice scratchy from crying out. My words break the moment, causing him to still.

  “I decided we’re not going. We’re staying in bed, not leaving here till I have my fill.” He gently slides out of me and then rolls off to the side.

  “But we have to go help.” I follow him down, falling to my back.

  “Not anymore. You’re not feeling well.” He reaches for his shirt to help me clean up. I let him wipe himself from between my legs then watch him throw his shirt back on the floor.

  “I’m not?” I roll toward him and rest my head in my palm.

  “No, you have a fever and you’re going to need bed rest for at least a few days.” I can’t help my grin from growing.

  “You wanna play hooky with me?” I don’t remember the last time I have. It’s been years.

  “I want to play a lot with you, darlin’. I’m just getting started.” He rolls back over me and covers my body with his.

  “Just getting started?” I don’t know if he’s talking about sex or what’s happening between us.

  “Not ready for this to end.” I hold my breath for a second as I process what I think I need to process.

  “Has it started, Beau?” I ask, missing the moment we labeled what was happening. Barely twenty-four hours ago, he was fighting this, yet now he’s not ready to give it up.

  “Darlin’, do you even have to ask?”

  It’s not a label or even really an answer, but I’ll take it anyway.

  “How can you not be exhausted right now?” I move us away from this line of questioning and settle in closer to him.

  “Fucking beat, but something tells me having your naked body in my bed I’m not getting any sleep.”

  “You could try.”

  “Or I could fuck you. Better yet, you can fuck me.” His hands move to my waist and in one quick movement, he rolls, taking me with him. I land on top of him, his cock starting to grow as it rests at the apex of my thighs.

  My eyes fall on the small skin-colored bandage on his arm and I zone in on it.

  “What happened?”

  “Just a scratch,” he dismisses too coolly as he rests his hands under his head and smirks up at me. “I’ll give you free play. Then I’ll take the lead.”

  “You’re terrible.” I shake my head, letting it go.

  “I am, but you fucking love it.”

  “Maybe. Maybe not.”

  The truth is I do. I love the way he is. Love the way he speaks, the way he treats me. I love it all and yeah it scares me. Oh, God, does it scare me. What will happen when my past finally catches up with me? Would whatever is going on between us fall apart? I want to think no, but sometimes when you grow tired of running, your fears make you insecure. They pull you down and force you to live in darkness, surrounded by whatever it is you are running away from.

  I didn’t want to be like this anymore. I wanted something more. Even after everything I had done.

  Maybe later I will rethink my actions, but right now this is what I want and I’m not going to overthink it. I have to trust this future is better than my past.

  If anyone understands that it’s Beau.

  Past

  Mackenzie

  “We’re here.” Beau pulls up out front of a ranch-style house two days later. After getting the all-clear to leave the hospital, we waited until early morning the next day to leave town, driving the four-hour drive straight through.

  “You ready?” He turns the van off and releases his seat belt.

  “These people, I can trust them?” I ask him again. We’ve already gone over it on the drive here. I know he said I can trust them, but in the last two days, I’ve become comfortable with Beau. The thought of leaving him and trusting new people freaks me out.

  “They’ll take good care of you,” he assures me before exiting the van, moving around the front and opening my door. With my arm in a cast, and my chest wrapped tight, I need help to move down.

  “I’m going to help you down again.” He steps in closer when I nod, then wraps his arm around my waist. “Careful,” he whispers, lifting me into his arms. I wince slightly from the movement as my feet hit the ground.

  A man and woman come down the stairs to greet us as we move around the van, both older than us. They smile and wait for us to meet them. They look like a sweet couple, but I hang back a little, still unsure.

  “How you doing, Larry?” Beau reaches forward and takes the man’s hand in a handshake.

  “Doin’ good, Beau.” Larry looks to be around sixty years old. As tall as Beau, he has graying hair, a small potbelly, but a warm smile.

  “Mary.” Beau nods to the woman and she gives him a genuine smile. Mary looks a little younger than her husband, maybe in her fifties. Her short dark hair is blow-dried in a bob that kicks out at the ends and her face is free of makeup. She reminds me of my nan. Beautiful in a reserved kind of way.

  “Mackenzie, this is Larry and Mary Canter. They’re gonna be helping you for the next week.”

  “Hi.” I offer a wave and attempt a smile, but it feels dishonest.

  “It’s lovely to meet you, Mackenzie.” Mary steps forward, but I pull back instantly before she can get too close.

  “It’s okay, Mackenzie.” Beau turns his body toward me and lowers his voice. “You have to trust me. They’re good people.” I let out a shaky breath and relax a little at his words.

  “It’s nice to meet you, too.” I look back up at Mary and decide to trust Beau. He hasn’t let me down yet. Why would he start now?

  “If you want to come with me, I can show you around.” Mary steps back and motions toward the front door. I look back at Beau, unsure if this will be our goodbye or if he will be hanging around a little while longer.

  “Go ahead, I’ll wait until you’re finished.” Beau answers my silent question and I relax, following Mary up the porch steps and into her home. She keeps her pace slow, allowing me to keep up with her easily. After my surgery, I’ve been given some good painkillers. I hadn’t taken any today, wanting to be clearheaded when I arrived here.

  “So, this is the kitchen and the living area.” Mary walks me through her home, showing me the rooms I need to know. “You’re welcome to anything, anytime. The fridge is stocked and Larry likes my baking, so there’s always something to eat.” I nod, acknowledging her offer, even if I won’t take her up on it.

  We conti
nue on the tour, my mind not really into it. I let everything pass over me, barely taking in my surroundings with the nerves still swirling around in my belly.

  “Bedrooms are down here.” Mary moves us further through the house. “Yours is the last one.” We walk to the last bedroom on the right as Mary continues to talk.

  “Everything you need is in here. Your own bathroom, and I’ve left clean towels on your bed,” she says as she opens the door to what will be my room while I’m here.

  “Thank you,” I say, not sure how I’m going to be able to shower with my cast and ribs wrapped up, but I’ll think about it later.

  “Now, can I offer you something to drink?” She steps back out of the room.

  “No thank you. I think I might just go say goodbye to Beau and then take a nap. I’m really exhausted from the ride.”

  “Of course, dear. You let me know if you need anything at all.” She offers a warm smile before leaving me alone. I don’t wait around; instead, I make my way back out to the front in search of Beau. He’s sitting on the front porch when I finally step back outside, talking on his phone. I hang back, not wanting to interrupt.

  “Yep, I’m done here. I’m heading out now. See you soon.” He ends the call then stands, our eyes locking onto one another’s. “You settled in, darlin’?” I nod and watch him step forward slowly.

  “Good. Okay, well, I gotta head out. You’re in good hands here, darlin.” He tries to reassure me once again and for the most part, he does, but I’m still hesitant.

  “Thank you for everything, Beau. For saving me.” It’s not enough, but I have to give him something.

  “You saved yourself, darlin’. I just gave you a helping hand.” He brushes it off as nothing and maybe for him it is. Maybe he does this sort of thing every week, but to me it’s huge.

  “You’re gonna be all right, Mackenzie. You’ll heal up, get your life sorted, settle down somewhere and this will be your past.”

  “He’s not going to stop looking for me, you know? I’ll always be looking over my shoulder.” I disagree with him and remind myself of the hard truth. “This won’t be my past. He won’t let it be.”

  “This life isn’t easy, darlin’. I wish for your sake it was, but look at you now. Look what you’ve been living. Now look at the new chance you have right here. What’s the alternative? You want to go back? You say you can’t fight him, his connections are too strong. There is only one option here then, you gotta do what you gotta do.”

  I know he’s right. I stayed too long with Chad, and I wasn’t strong enough to fight him, nor was I strong enough to leave him.

  Until now.

  “Well, thank you for giving me that chance.” I reach out to touch his arm, but stop mid-air and drop it back down. “I really appreciate it.”

  “Listen, if you ever need anything, Mackenzie, anything, you know how to find me, okay?” he offers. I don’t reply, but I take it in as my last resort. “Anytime. You just look me up.” He takes my hand and gently squeezes it before taking the steps and moving back to his van. He doesn’t look back and I don’t watch him leave. I just step up to the porch swing, take a seat, and look out at the empty sky ahead of me.

  I stay out on the porch for the rest of the day, until the blue sky turns inky black. I don’t eat dinner with Larry and Mary, my stomach still tied in knots. I don’t engage in any conversations, my mind too lost in thoughts. I just sit on their porch swing and think.

  Think about what I am going to do with my life. Where I will end up. All these new possibilities and I have no idea how to process it.

  I don’t think about Chad and how he would be reacting to the news I was gone. I don’t think about Heidi, my only friend left behind. And I especially don’t think about Beau, or the fact him leaving me in the middle of nowhere felt worse than leaving behind my whole life. Maybe later I will process it, but tonight I don’t want to deal. I don’t want to feel. I just want to sit.

  I am free.

  I have escaped.

  I don’t know how long it will last, but tonight it doesn’t matter.

  Nothing matters.

  Twenty-Two

  Beau

  “Open up, Beau, I know you’re in there.” The knock on the door pulls me out of sleep and back to my living room.

  Fuck, here we go.

  “Kenz, wake up.” I shift her naked body off me and take stock of my surroundings. It can’t be later than six. The afternoon sun is just starting to darken the room.

  “What’s happening?” Kenzie yawns, stretching her arms up over her head. Her tits push out in front of her and I have to physically stop myself from touching her.

  Keep it together, man. Just get rid of Nix first.

  “Nix is here. Go put some clothes on.” I help her up then watch her naked ass walk down the hall.

  Fuck, I could just ignore him like I’ve done the last three days.

  “Beau, I’m not fuckin’ kiddin’. Open the fuckin’ door.” Nix’s pissed-off voice reminds me why that’s not a good idea.

  “Hold the fuck on. I’m coming.” I reach for my discarded jeans and step into them before heading to the door. I should have known this was coming. Judging by the constant calls I’ve been ignoring for three days, this was inevitable. Bracing myself for what’s to come, I arrange my face and pull the front door open.

  “What?” I greet, not giving one fuck Nix is probably about to lay me out. The last three days of having a naked Mackenzie anytime I want was worth it though.

  “You missed the meet.” He pushes the door further open and storms past me.

  “Sorry. Forgot.” I’m surprised his fist didn’t greet me. Not giving up on it still happening, I close the door and follow him into the kitchen.

  “You forgot?” He practically scoffs. “You forget you cut some fucker’s fingers off, then left me with the fallout.” He flicks the coffee machine on and moves to the fridge, making himself at home.

  Fucker.

  “I know, shit.” I rub my face in frustration. Probably not my best move leaving the club with all my shit.

  “You’re fuckin’ her.” It’s not a question, but a statement, one that pisses me off.

  “Not your fucking business, Nix.” I step up to the coffee machine and take over, getting the pot started for a fresh brew.

  “It’s my business if you’re gettin’ your priorities messed up, Beau.”

  “I missed one meet. Don’t get your panties twisted.” I press the brew button then turn back to him.

  “You’re too busy gettin’ your dick wet to know this shit with the club is fuckin’ important.”

  “Don’t go there, Nix.” I force myself to stand down. I’d love nothing more than to take the three steps toward him and fucking knock him on his ass, but I remember Kenzie is here, probably about to come in here and the last thing she needs to see is me raging.

  “I’m fuckin’ already there, brother. You’ve been off the grid for three days. Must be some pussy.” His remark pushes me too far, and before I can think of the consequences, I manage to step into his space and connect my fist to his jaw, knocking him back against the counter.

  “The fuck, Beau?” He recoils, his hand wiping the small amount of blood from the corner of his mouth. “You’re out of fuckin’ line, Beau.” He steps forward, pushes me back and returns a fist to my nose. Pain spreads across my face. Blood spills instantly, but I don’t have a chance to stop it before he locks me in a headlock. I don’t give him the upper hand for too long before I twist out of his hold and take another swing at him. This time connecting with the side of his head.

  “You really wanna do this?” Nix grins as I twist my fingers into the front of his shirt.

  “You went there.” I hold him steady in my grasp, weighing up my options. I could hit him again, but he’ll only fucking come back at me.

  “Beau? Wh-what’s going on?” Mackenzie’s panicked voice breaks the tension, pulling me back to the room.

  “Fuck.” I tw
ist my face to my sleeve, wiping the blood from my face, before pushing Nix back and spinning to face her. “Darlin’.” I step toward her and watch fear wash over her face.

  “Beau? Did you cut someone’s finger off?” She steps back, her eyes dodging between me and Nix.

  “No, darlin’. Nix is fucking around. Right, Nix?” I turn back to Nix and watch him smirk.

  “Sorry, sweetheart. I was just messin’ with him.” He backs me up, but I’m not sure it’s enough.

  “Relax, darlin’.” I force my voice louder, trying to pull her out of her head. She’s scared. No fucking mystery there, but she needs to know she’s safe.

  “Of course you’re joking.” She takes another look between us both before visibly relaxing. “Is everything okay?”

  “All good, darlin’.” She holds my gaze searching for truth, but I don’t give it to her.

  “I might go have a shower.” I look down and see she’s thrown on one of my shirts and an old pair of shorts.

  “No problem, darlin’.” I give her what I hope is a reassuring smile then watch her retreat out of the kitchen. After hearing the bathroom door close, I turn back to Nix.

  “You’re an asshole.” I level my stare at him.

  “You done?”

  “Yeah, I’m done,” I hiss, letting out a breath past my teeth.

  “Good.” He shakes his head then moves back to the coffee machine. “You got yourself in deep over some pussy, brother.”

  “I’ll hit you again, you call her pussy one more fucking time,” I seethe, knowing I’m only working myself up again.

  “Didn’t think I’d ever see it.” We both know he’s full of shit. This has been a long time coming.

  “Just don’t fucking talk about my woman’s pussy again, we won’t have a problem.”

  “Your woman?” One brow lifts and he tries to stop himself from grinning. He fails miserably.

  “Yep,” I admit, knowing this is where I’m heading. I never did see myself settling down.

  Until her.

  “Well, about fucking time.” He claps me on the back then hands me my cup filled with freshly brewed coffee. The shower turns on just as I take it and then move to the table to sit.