by River Savage
“You ready, darlin’?” I step forward, dip my head low and whisper in her ear. She nods, but doesn’t speak.
“Night, ladies.” I spin us around and head back through the clubhouse to the front door. Kenzie gives one last wave over her shoulder before turning back. “Did you have a good night?” I ask wrapping my arm around her as I steer her out to my bike.
“Yeah,” is all she says, stepping up to my bike and reaching for her helmet.
“You okay?” I place my hand under her chin and force her to look up at me.
“Just tired.” She pulls back and diverts her eyes.
The fuck?
Something about her reaction isn’t sitting well with me, but I don’t push, wanting to get us safely home.
“Then let’s take you home, darlin’.” I climb on and wait for her to slide forward. It only takes a short second for her to wrap herself around me close. I start my bike, rev the throttle a few times before taking off.
The whole ride has my mind trying to figure out what the hell is up her ass. By the time we pull up to the front of my house, my unease only grows when she slides off and heads straight toward the door.
“Kenzie, what the fuck is going on?” I call out as she steps up onto the porch. She doesn’t answer this time. Pushing her key into the lock, she steps inside, leaving me standing there.
Climbing off my bike, I take the steps two at a time. I follow her inside, down the hall and into my room.
“The fuck? What the hell is up your ass, darlin’?” I try to rack my brain trying to figure out what could have upset her in the last few hours.
Lissy?
“You have words with Lissy tonight?” I ask, watching her step out of her sexy-as-fuck heels. Her body reacts to Lissy’s name and I zone in on it.
“What the fuck happened? If she spewed her shit—”
“She just wanted to clear the air. That’s it.” She pushes past me and moves to the bathroom.
“This why you’re pissy?” I follow behind her, still not getting it. Apparently, I didn’t make it clear just how much Lissy is not on my fucking radar.
“I’m not pissy. Can you just leave me alone? I told you I’m tired. Keep pushing me and it’s only going to piss me off.” She stops at the door, preventing me from entering. I hold her stare, and honestly it’s written all over her face. This is so much bigger than Lissy.
“Don’t fucking shut down on me now, darlin’.” She recoils, her head snapping back at my voice, but she only looks blankly up at me.
“Beau, I told you nothing happened. I’m just tired.” She forces some fake bullshit smile then reaches for the door. Attempting to shut it.
Yeah, like that’s fucking happening.
“You’re not acting like nothing happened.” I place my hand on the door, stopping it from separating us. “You’re acting like you’re lost in your head, darlin’.” I rest my shoulder against the doorframe and watch her step back.
“You need to leave me alone.”
“Not until you tell me what’s happening here. I’m kind of fucking clueless right now.” Her arms come around the front of her, wrapping herself tightly.
“You’re keeping something from me.” Her body stills for a brief second before she quickly hides her reaction.
“You think you know everything.” She spins on her heel, moving to the shower and pulling the door open. I watch her sharp, angry movements. She starts the shower, steps back, and tears the zip down on her dress.
Willing myself not to get hard, she practically rips it from her body, unclasping her bra and throwing it on the floor.
“You just have to push and push.” Her panties go next. “Can’t I just be tired? Can’t I just have a moment? Fucking men just have to push. You’re just like him.” Her whole demeanor has flipped. This isn’t Mackenzie talking.
“Maybe I don’t want to talk about it. Did you think about that?” She twists back to face me, completely naked. “Did you? I don’t have to talk to you about everything, you know. You don’t get to tell me how I can feel, how to act.” She pulls the glass door open and steps under the stream of the water. She dips her head back, letting the water soak through her hair. Her tits push out as she raises her hands to her hair. I don’t know if I want to laugh or spank the fuck out of her ass right now.
“Are you done?” I ask when my cock decides he’s done with this bullshit play.
Her eyes open as I take three steps toward her. “Are you?” She narrows her gaze when I rip my shirt over my head.
“Not even fucking close to being done, darlin’.” I toe off my boots, flick the button on my jeans then pull them down.
“Beau.” She steps back when I open the glass door.
“Turn around, put your hands on the tiles, and don’t move them.” I spin her before she can argue and guide her hands over her head, firmly placing them against the wall. “Don’t you ever fucking put me in the same head space as that piece of shit.” I step in close to her, my front to her back.
“I didn’t mean it.” Her whisper is unsure as it echoes around the small shower.
“Don’t give a fuck. I’m not him. Never will be.” Her head drops forward, chin tucked into her breastbone.
“I know. I’m a bitch. I didn’t mean to say it.” I press into her closer, my cock now rock hard.
“You’re not. But you’re gonna tell me what the fuck is happening here.” I lean in closer, my mouth to her ear.
“I don’t know.”
“Don’t feed me bullshit. I’m not fucking stupid. This have something to do with Lissy?”
“No. No, it’s not her. It’s me.” She gives me something to work with. “Maybe this is moving too fast for me.”
“You freaking out?” I keep her pinned to the shower wall. Her hands still above her head. I’m confused. She’s showed no signs of pulling back in the last week. Not for one second have I thought I’ve pushed her too far.
Until tonight.
“Maybe. I don’t know.” She shakes her head. Almost like she’s as confused as I am. My head is telling me she’s full of shit, but my body steps back giving her space. “Wait.” She turns back to face me. Her eyes grow wide in panic. “Jesus, I don’t know what I’m saying.” She shakes her head again.
“Nothing’s changed here, darlin’. We go at your speed.” She bites her lip and I can practically see the wheels turning in her head.
“I’m sorry. I really am tired. The girls were on my case all night. Then the thing with Lissy. I’m just getting lost in my head.” She steps up to me this time.
“Nothing to be sorry for. You want to cool things down. I get it.” I wrap my arms around her. I still don’t understand what made her flip like this, but I don’t push. I’ve already pushed too far tonight.
“I don’t know what I want.” She speaks into my chest, and it’s probably the most honest thing she’s said all night.
“Come on. Let’s get you to bed.” I decide to end this conversation, at least for now. Whatever she’s stewing over isn’t going to go away tonight. I’ve already tried to bring her out of it and was unsuccessful. I’ll let it go this evening, but tomorrow is a new day.
I reach forward and turn off the water. We step out of the shower, and I wrap her in a towel before grabbing one for myself. She lets me take the lead, drying her off before moving her back to my bed. We don’t say another word as we dress for bed. Unsure of what I’m looking at with our situation, I let her run things. She heads back to the bathroom and dries her hair. I climb between the sheets and wait to see if she comes to me. After everything else tonight, I wouldn’t be surprised if she made her way back to her room. If it happens, I’ll follow. Five minutes later, she steps out of the bathroom and comes to my bed.
I don’t show my relief. Instead, I pull the blanket back and let her climb in.
She settles, still keeping the silence, so I turn the light off, bathing the room in darkness. Another five minutes go by and she finally shifts, rolli
ng to face me.
“Beau, I’m falling in love with you. And maybe that’s too soon to say, or too soon for you to hear, but I need you to know.” She rests her palm over my naked chest.
“Darlin’—” I begin, but she cuts me off.
“I didn’t tell you so you can say it back. I just wanted you to know.”
Jesus, I’m on a rollercoaster right now. Ups and downs, and fucking looping everywhere.
“Okay,” I whisper, pulling her closer to me. The urge to tell her back is strong, but I don’t. Not because I don’t feel the same way. Fuck, I think I fell in love with her the second she walked into the clubhouse. No, I don’t say it back because something’s not right. It’s almost like she had to tell me before it was too late.
But too late for what?
An unease settles over me, and digs in so deep I know it isn’t going away. She’s up to something and I don’t know what the fuck it is, but I’m sure as hell going to find out.
Sooner or later I am going to find out.
Past
Mackenzie
“I’m out Fred!” I shout, reaching for my bag.
“If you wait ten minutes, I’ll take you home,” he yells back, but it’s the last thing I want. Not tonight. I just want to go home after my long shift.
“No, it’s fine. I’m beat. I just want the quickest way into a shower so I can crawl into bed.”
Fred pokes his head around the corner and lowers his brows. I can see he intends to argue with me.
“Leave her alone, Fred. She’s just down the road,” Carly starts on him before he starts on me.
We’ve been having the same argument since I’ve been working. Even with the gun and self-defense classes, he’s still overprotective.
“I know she’s just down the road, Carly.” He shakes his head at his wife, then levels his eyes back on me. “You still having problems with your new neighbor?” He changes tactics. “I can stop by and have a word with him.” Fred has become my self-appointed father, Carly my mother. They have been so good to me the last fifteen months. I hate keeping them at a distance.
“I spoke to him yesterday. He said he’s going to turn the level down a little.” I fill him in on my neighbor drama.
“He doesn’t, I’ll pay him a visit.” He nods to himself. I don’t argue with him about it. There are some battles you just won’t win with Fred. This will be another one.
“Okay, Fred.” I try to keep the frustration out of my voice. “Bye, Carly. See you tomorrow.”
“Night,” she calls back and I make my way to the front door.
“Girly, wait.” Fred stops me before I can step outside. “You call me if you need anything. Any time.”
“Will do,” I promise, before closing the door.
The walk home is quick. Living only two blocks from where I work has come in handy. Especially since I haven’t saved enough to buy my own car yet, much to Fred and Carly’s displeasure.
The last fifteen months in Ohio have been… I want to say great, but I would be lying. It’s been comfortable.
It’s not that I don’t like it here. I’ve grown close with Carly and Fred, and I enjoy working at their diner. It’s just that I’m not truly happy.
The hiding my past, the not knowing when it will catch up with me, the fear he’s going to find me. It’s like I’m a caged bird desperate to be freed, and if I were honest, I’m over it.
I continue to dwell on my predicament as I take three steps up to my small one-bedroom apartment. I wish I could just push it all out, relax and maybe breathe easy, but I can’t. I can’t allow myself to become complacent. Not when he could find me any day.
“Snap out of it.” I give myself a talking to as I reach the top of the stairs. “No more.” I shake my head just as I notice the doormat slightly off center.
What the hell? My senses flare as I check my surroundings.
I live on the bottom level of a low-rise apartment building. With only one level above me, I hardly ever see my neighbor, but it doesn’t mean I don’t hear him.
Max is a twenty-something-year-old gamer, who only moved in a few months back. Since then, it’s been hard to get a decent night’s sleep with the amount of noise coming out of his apartment.
Tonight it’s quiet, which tells me he’s either not in yet or he took my friendly noise complaint serious. Time will tell.
After doing a quick check of my surroundings I decide it’s my mind playing tricks on me. Kicking it back in place, I unlock the door and step inside. Everything looks normal and in place. The flowers on the table I picked up yesterday fill the room with a sweet floral scent. Relaxing into my nightly routine, I kick off my shoes, and place my bag down on the sofa, heading straight for the fridge to fill a large glass with my favorite wine.
After nibbling on some cheese, I take my glass to the bathroom and fill the tub. I strip off my clothes and waste no time sinking into the hot water.
Today’s been a busy day. The hot water eases the tension in my muscles and the wine relaxes my mind. This has become my standard routine every night. Wine. Bath. Bed.
After soaking for thirty minutes, the apartment walls start to shake with vibrations of gunfire and explosions, letting me know Max is in fact home.
Great. He didn’t take me serious.
Knowing I’m not going to be able to relax with the noise, I decide to call it a night. I stand and wrap a towel around my body. Not bothering with drying off completely, I take my glass and head to my room only to stop dead in my tracks.
“Hello, Mackenzie.” The wine glass falls to the carpet as his voice runs through me, and my world comes crashing around me.
“Ch-Chad?” My knees lock as I take in his form lying on my bed. His eyes rake over my body before coming to meet mine. I’ve been waiting for this moment the last eighteen months. Dreamed about how I would react, if I would react. But now that he’s here, it’s like it’s not real.
“Do you know how long I’ve been looking for you?” His jaw ticks and his eyes flash with something I’ve never seen before. It’s almost crazed. Feral.
“How did you find me?” I still haven’t moved. I’m dripping with water, wrapped in a small towel. My heart pounds rapidly in my chest, almost as loud as the noise coming from Max’s apartment.
“Fuck, it wasn’t easy. You, sweetheart, have cost me a fucking arm and leg trying to find you. I almost had you in Arizona when you called Heidi.” My pulse drums in my ears. Heidi.
“What did you do to her?” My mind runs a mile a minute. He wouldn’t dare.
“I didn’t come all this way to talk about that bitch. Can you tell me why you need a gun, Mackenzie?” Chad throws his legs off the side of the bed and stands, pointing a gun at me.
Shit, he has my gun.
I weigh up my options. I could scream for help, but no one would hear me over Max’s game. I could run, but won’t get very far, or I can fight him.
Before I can unstick my legs, he’s moving toward me. Acting on bad instinct, I react. Spinning in my spot, I hold onto my towel and try to make a run for it.
“I don’t think so, Mackenzie.” Chad races behind me, his hand snaking out, fisting my hair and pulling me back. “You and I have things we need to discuss,” he seethes, tightening his grip. I fight back, reaching over my shoulders and slapping him. He recoils, letting me go, but before I can pull away he slaps me hard, a stinging sensation covers my cheek. I drop to the floor from the force, my towel falling away from my body, exposing me.
Reaching for the towel, I leave myself open. Not missing his chance, he delivers a kick to my side. Air leaves my lungs in a sharp thud before my long lost friend, pain, comes to visit.
Knowing I can’t cower, I roll to the side, give up the towel and find my balance as I stand up. I need to keep myself up if I’m going to have any chance.
“You’ve ruined my life long enough.” He reaches for me again, but I shift out of his way. I just need to get the gun out of his hands.
“Please, Chad,” I beg as I back out of my room. I don’t know why I think it will work, but I need to try something.
“None of this had to happen, Mackenzie.” He follows me out, not chasing me, but drawing out my panic.
“You’re right. It didn’t then and it doesn’t now. Please put the gun down and we can talk this through,” I try to reason. Maybe if he believes I want to work things out, I might have a shot at this.
“You’ve made my life hell the last eighteen months. Do you know what people are saying? The rumors that spread because of what you did? I had to file for divorce. Make it out that I divorced you for abandoning me. You fucking did this.” A wave of relief and sadness washes over me knowing we’re no longer married. Can he even do that?
“You know what we had was unhealthy, Chad.” I attempt to talk to him, not at him.
“How can you say that? I fucking love you.” He steps forward, gun raised. His eyes are frenzied, his hands shaking. “You fucking left me.” Another step closer.
“Please, Chad.” It’s almost surreal. After running for so long, this is what it comes down to.
“You promised me till death do us part. Remember, Mackenzie?” My back finds the wall as the gun finds my chest. “I’ve come to make sure you honor our vows.”
Twenty-Five
Mackenzie
“Beau?” I whisper a few hours after I pretended to fall asleep. Beau doesn’t stir so I quickly slip out of his bed and sneak back into my room to grab the small emergency backpack I’ve kept since living here.
I didn’t want to have to do this, but there is no other way. I can’t let this come out. My only option is to get out of town.
The house is quiet as I tiptoe down the hall and make my escape. I don’t spare a second glance at the home Beau offered me. My only desire is to get out. It’s like I’m on autopilot, my mind emotionally bankrupt. There is nothing left to say. With each stride, my resolution grows. It’s as if the distance from the safety of Beau’s arms gives me more clarity. The truth is, since I’ve been back, I’ve invented every excuse for staying, when I should have got the hell out of here. I’ve been living a lie, a beautiful lie, with fake hope. I know Beau is going to be pissed, but I also know he’s not going to understand. I can’t have people looking for me here. I need to make a clean break and go back on the run.