by Ilsa Ames
I tried not to look at Logan as we left, who stood at the door of our—his—cabin, arms crossed across his huge chest, muscles bunching beneath his favorite plaid shirt.
I risked a glance back at him, eyes searching his for something. His face was set, determined. I wondered if he was feeling the same feelings of confusion and despair I was, the feeling that I was losing something important.
His eyes warmed for a second as he looked at me, and he risked a soft nod and half smile, before turning to return to his empty cabin.
We got into the limousine that was waiting for us on the road leading from the cabin, and I decided not to look back as we drove away.
My dad began to berate me on how careless I’d been, managing to get myself kidnapped, leaving the bar on my own. He was treating me like I was a little girl, like he had my entire life. And it was making me feel sick.
How dare he speak to me like this after all the things he’s done?
I stared out of the tinted windows of the limo in stony silence, not even bothering to respond to my dad’s ridiculous comments. After a while I settled back, trying to sleep, but the emotions coursing through me made that impossible.
A month passed.
An entire. Damn. Month.
I somehow managed to get through it avoiding my old friends who all wanted to ask me about what had happened, where I’d been, if I wanted to go to this bar or that party, that so-and-so sleazy guy had been asking after me.
Although I’d only been gone for a short while, I’d changed. And I wasn’t about to try and go back to being the same spoiled party girl I’d been before. I’d realized that even then I’d been pretending to be someone else and have never truly been happy in my old life.
Over the course of the month I noticed my body start to change, as it had started to when I’d been at the cabin. I’d put on a little weight, which I had first put down to the good hearty food I’d been given, as much as I could eat.
My breasts had got bigger and were fuller and more sensitive than they’d ever been. I had the occasional mood swing, and was even a little ill at times, my stomach turning somersaults randomly, especially in the mornings.
I became worried, trying not to think about what these changes all meant. Then, I missed my period. Which had never happened to me before in my life. They’d always been as regular as clockwork.
My stomach turned to ice when that happened.
I mean, of course it did, as it would with any woman. Because of course, my mind wandered to what it could mean. Even more, what it would mean if I was right.
What if I was pregnant? With Logan’s baby?
I purchased two pregnancy tests from a pharmacy where I knew I wouldn’t be seen or recognized and hurried back home, my heart racing and my stomach sinking.
A million thoughts ran through my mind as I waited on my bed or the results, I’d used both tests, and had left them sitting on the side in the bathroom, not wanting to face my fears.
But I found the more I thought about it, the more determined I was that this would change everything for the better. There was no way anyone was going to keep from Logan, from taking my baby back to him and to share the rest of my life with him. Not even my monster of a father with that goddamn clause in the contract would keep me from the father of my child.
…Right?
I took a deep breath. And then, with a moment of regret that Logan wasn’t here to share the moment with me, I rose slowly to walk to the bathroom, and closed my eyes as I took a test in each hand.
I took another deep breath to steel myself, then opened my eyes.
Oh God…
Positive.
Both of them.
Chapter Twelve
Lia
Weeks after the tests that told me I wasn’t crazy and really was pregnant, I still hadn’t been able to get hold of Logan. And I was trying. I tried every day, sending him emails, calling the number I had for him, but he never answered, or even gave any indication that he’d seen my messages or noticed the calls.
Things with my father were becoming increasingly strained—I avoided him at all costs. For my whole life he’d been my hero, my rock, but now I had nothing left for him but disgust and disdain. He was willing to hurt people just to make money. They meant nothing to him, as long as he could see positive numbers on his balance sheets.
I’d never thought about where our money came from; I only cared that it was there, and that it allowed me a life of freedom and luxury.
It had taken his daughter getting kidnapped to get him to do anything about the problems that he’d caused, but at least I felt secure in the knowledge that Logan could now fix and heal the damage that had been done. Even if it took years, the land and the people could heal, and the money would buy them the best medical care possible.
I knew there was the clause in my father’s contract forbidding Logan from contacting me, but still. Why couldn’t he just reply to one of my emails, even if just to say that he was okay, that he wasn’t hurt?
I started to fear that dad had done something—gotten the police involved or something. He’d promised that he wouldn’t, as a condition of my release, but there was no way I could put it past him to go back on his promises. After all, a man who would so callously poison all those innocent people could hardly be trusted.
I wanted to run, to escape. To go back to that cabin in the woods with Logan and help him. To let him know about my baby.
Our baby.
But that was much easier said than done. I was effectively a prisoner in my own beautiful gilded cage. Dad assigned me a bodyguard at all times. Ostensibly to make sure that I was safe, that nothing like the kidnap could ever happen again, but I knew what the truth was. He needed to keep an eye on me, and make sure that I wouldn’t do or say anything to jeopardize his business interests. The knowledge that I had about his activities was dangerous, and that made me dangerous.
One evening, dad called me down to eat with him. I didn’t want to. I still missed Logan terribly, and hated my father for forcing me to part from him. Eventually though, I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe there was something of that old dad, that man that I’d loved so much. Maybe I could reach out to him, make him see how I truly felt.
It was just been the two of us in the huge dining hall, sitting at opposite ends of the gigantic dining table. Waiters shuffled in and out, bringing us food and wine. Dad raised an eyebrow when I declined the alcohol, but I just shrugged. Let him think what he wanted to, I no longer cared.
We ate in silence for a while, before I decided to finally speak up.
“He’s a good man, dad. All he wants is to fix the problems that you created, to make his forest and the people that live there better again, back to how they used to be.”
There was no response from my father. He merely carried on eating and sipping his wine. I pressed more, pushing my luck I knew, but I no longer cared. I had to let him know how I truly felt.
“Yes, he shouldn’t have done what he did, kidnapping me. But he felt as if he had no choice. He’s just one man, against a whole corporation, trying to protect his community. The more time I spent with him, the more I came to respect him. I only wish I could show you-”
I cried out in surprise as my father hurled his wine glass to the floor, smashing it into a million fragments. The blood-red wine sprayed all over the priceless rug.
“Enough!” he bellowed, louder than I’d ever heard him shout. His face was swollen with rage, turning an ugly purple color.
One of the wait staff opened the door and entered, carrying a broom.
“Get out!” my father yelled. The poor waiter blanched, throwing me a sympathetic glance as he obeyed, closing the door behind him.
The silence was deafening. All I could hear was my blood pumping in my ears. I’d never seen my father as angry as this, not ever, and it was terrifying. It was like he was a complete stranger that had taken the place of the man who used to dote on me.
/> He took a few moments to reign himself in.
“I will not hear of that man in this house, ever again. Am I clear on that point?”
His eyes glittered with menace as he fixed me with a stare. It was all I could do not to avert my eyes, but I managed it.
I’m not a little girl anymore. You can’t intimidate me.
“Or what, dad?” I found myself saying, surprised at how steady and calm my voice was. “You can’t bully and threaten me like those poor people up in the mountains.”
He stood abruptly and came to stand near me, palms out in supplication.
“Lia,” he said, his voice soft. “Listen to me. There’s nothing good in that man. He saw an opportunity, and he took it. The amount of money he was asking for—”
“For medical bills and chemical cleanup,” I countered. “He showed me the figures. It all added up.”
For a second I thought he was going to explode in anger again, but he visibly restrained himself.
“He kidnapped you,” my father said. “He robbed you of your freedom, just to get at me. How can you even speak his name, let alone say those positive things about him? He’s a felon, and he should be locked away for everyone’s safety.”
I set my jaw stubbornly.
“What he did was wrong. But he did it for a noble reason, and for that I’m willing to forgive him. I don’t expect you to understand that, but you could at least try to see where I’m coming from. People’s lives were being ruined.”
Dad laughed, a hollow, bitter sound.
“Let me tell you about ruining people’s lives. That factory, that I’ve now had to close? Over three hundred people were employed there. People with families, with bills to pay. People who will now have to worry about where their next rent payment’s going to come from, about how to put food in their children’s bellies. And you want to preach to me?”
I stood, furious, practically shouting.
“You’re a fucking billionaire, dad! Why can’t you help them out, find them jobs elsewhere in one of your other businesses? Are you so heartless that you’ll just let them struggle when you could fix their problems with a stroke of a pen? Don’t try and moralize to me. The factory those people worked at was killing the locals. People are dying, damn you!”
To my complete and utter shock, he just laughed in my face.
“Do you think I got to where I am today by just giving money away when I don’t have to? Do you think your comfortable lifestyle would have been possible if I just wrote a check every time I heard some sob story? No, this isn’t my fault. Those people were employed, by me, to do a job. Your friend’s little stunt has cost them those jobs. The fault lies entirely with him. I feel no guilt, none whatsoever. My conscience is clean.”
I was shaking with fury, my fists clenched by my side. How could he be so heartless? He was a monster. There was no point in talking to him. There was no way I was ever going to reach him. How could I have been so blind all this time?
I pushed my chair away and made to leave. I couldn’t bear to be in the same room as my father, not any longer.
“You’ll come to see my way of thinking, Lia,” he said as I was leaving. “To succeed in business, you need to be willing to get your hands dirty sometimes. You have to be able to make difficult decisions. I won’t apologize for that. Now, there’s no need for us to be uncivilized. Come back and finish your meal, I’m sorry I lost my temper.”
I whirled, fire in my eyes.
“I’d rather starve.”
His eyes went flat then, dead like a shark’s.
“Fine. I see how it has to be. Understand, though, that you will never see that hick up in his cabin again. Ever.”
I pushed the door open and strode down the corridor, sobbing. My father’s voice carried down the corridor behind me.
“And for God’s sake, try to dress befitting someone of your breeding, girl! Fix your hair and find some clothes that don’t look like they’ve been lived in! It’s horrible what’s happened to you… Where has my beautiful little girl gone?”
She’s dead, you pig, and you killed her.
I went back to my room and threw myself onto my bed. Once I was alone, I unleashed the torrent of grief and anger and rage that had been building inside me for all these weeks. I cried for the loss of the man I once thought my father was, and for the loss of my innocence. I cried for my unborn baby and the father it might never have. But most of all, I cried for me. A prisoner once more... and this time I couldn’t see a way out.
After that dinner, I promised myself that I wouldn’t even consider spending any time alone with my father any more. He was a dangerous, selfish man. He only cared about me as far as I reflected on him. His words during that meal had been designed to hurt me—nothing more. How could he claim to love me and then talk to me like that? It was frightening. Like I’d spent my entire life only seeing one side of him. The side he’d decided to show me. But all this time, he’d been hiding this terrible darkness inside of him. I didn’t know how deep that darkness truly was, and I didn’t want to find out. Especially not now that I was pregnant.
My belly was growing now, and it was getting more and more difficult to hide the fact. I tried my best with baggy and loose-fitting clothes, but I knew my bodyguard and the maids suspected something, and I also knew that if that was the case, it was only a matter of time before dad found out.
I had no idea what his reaction would be, but I knew it wouldn’t be pleasant. I could be sure of that. There was also the issue of doctors. I knew that before long, I’d need to see one. But getting out of the house without dad knowing was going to be extremely difficult, and ever since I’d returned he was loathe to let me out of the house.
He told me that it was because he cared about me, that he didn’t want to risk anything else happening to me, but I knew the truth. He didn’t want word of his dirty dealings getting out. The social circles we ran in would just love to have that sort of dirt on my father. Secrets, and the value that they could have, was important currency.
No, if I wanted out, I was going to have to force it. Money wouldn’t be an issue. I still had the inheritance from my mother, held in a trust. Her family had been old money, and there was plenty left to me. Plenty enough for me to run away and live up in the mountains, for as long as I liked.
I just needed a way to get there. My bodyguard watched me like a hawk. I knew that he reported directly to my father, and I knew that he wasn’t on my side. He was paid for obedience and discretion. I knew that things could get much, much worse for me if I pushed my father.
Sometimes I would sit by the huge bay windows in my bedroom, looking out over the opulent, manicured lawns of our mansion. I’d stopped my yoga classes, my tennis, my swimming—it all felt tainted by association, and I just couldn’t summon the energy any more. I’d sit by the window and stare out, wondering what Logan was doing, wondering if he was able to help everyone that needed it.
I would often think back to that secret glade he’d made love to me in—the beauty of that spot, the echo of his touch on my skin... those memories kept me going and stopped me from going insane. I was a prisoner, my father considered me his property, and I couldn’t see a way out.
Just how long could things carry on like this? How long until he found out I was pregnant? How long for Logan to forget about me?
I sat there with my hands on my belly, and everything seemed so hopeless. I didn’t know where to turn, or what to do. Logan had opened my eyes to a whole new way of living, a new way to see the world, and it had been cruelly snatched from me.
I didn’t want my baby to grow up in this toxic environment, never knowing its father, but I couldn’t see a way out. I had to be strong though, for my sake and for the baby’s sake. There had to be a way out… I just needed to find it.
Chapter Thirteen
Logan
Losing her was the worst thing I’d ever felt—worse even than some of the hell I’d gone through in my younger days. It was li
ke a piece of me had been torn out and tossed away, and try as I may, there was just no finding it.
That part cut the hardest.
After Preston and I had signed the contracts and agreed to both uphold our sides of the deal, part of me was a little worried that he would renege on his side of the bargain and report the kidnapping to the police. I figured it would be easier for him just to have me arrested, and in the meantime go about covering up the evidence of what he had so brazenly done.
But as the time passed, I found myself still a free man. And even more to my surprise, funds had been transferred into an account I’d created for the huge cleanup operation I’d planned from the beginning. So, after a few days of worry and doubt, I set about planning my next move.
The most important thing in my mind was to get the sick people of the town to see the specialists they needed so they could be assessed and start treatment as soon as possible. I had files on all known residents who had fallen sick, which made it easy to contact them all and get things set in motion.
I chose the worst cases first and contacted them or their families discreetly to offer to help. Keeping to my side of the contract, I informed them that an extremely wealthy businessmen with local and state interests had been made aware of the health problems in the town and had basically written me a blank check to get the sick townsfolk seen to as quickly as possible.
It had taken a while for the first few families to believe that someone would be so generous, but after word spread of the help they were receiving, people were actively contacting me to see if they would be covered by this wealthy benefactor. All of those I’d spoken to had been on my records; not one of the townsfolk had tried to receive healthcare for an unrelated problem, and my heart had lifted at the honesty of the people in my hometown.