‘What are you going to do with me?’
A jolt of desire burned through her veins and pooled, molten, in her stomach. Why did he have to keep asking things that sounded so sexual? Perhaps she’d been wrong to send Adam away. Being alone with River was not working out how she’d planned. She had no idea what the hell was wrong with her all of a sudden. Although it wasn’t all of a sudden. She’d felt little flashes of it before. But it had never been this strong.
‘Bronwyn? What are you doing?’
His voice jolted her out of her thoughts, and she took in a deep breath. She could do this. She didn’t need someone else to be in here with them. This was a test of her willpower and her abilities and she was more than up to it.
She pressed her lips into a smile and said, ‘I’ve got to light some candles and get some oil prepared. Part of what I’m doing today is an old ritual of cleansing I read about in the diaries.’ Out of the corner of her eye, she saw River turn on his side. Her eyes were drawn to the dip in his waist, to the way his arm muscles stretched and bunched as he leaned on his elbow.
A rush of damp wet her underwear.
She clenched her muscles and turned back to the shelves, quickly lighting the nearest candle—lemongrass and sage—the pungent citrusy smell hopefully hiding any sign of her unwanted reaction. Gripping the edge of the shelves, she closed her eyes and breathed in the lemon scent she always used when she needed a pick-me-up. Although, if her reaction was anything to go by, she needed more than a pick-me-up. Something was very off inside her. She almost snorted out a laugh—well, she knew something was off. That was why she’d shut her business down and was doing these sessions with River to try to figure out how to deal with all the changes.
She’d learned so much from the other session and she tried to concentrate on that now. Studying the two different Were auras in such close detail had given her an idea about how they worked together and separately. The focused channelling through the pack bond had helped her to understand how the Were bond worked, how it was symbiotic, taking power, but giving it back tenfold. It had been the strength of those bonds that had kept the McVale Pack together when their Pack Warlock was murdered and their Pack Witch kidnapped and hidden from them for all those years. So much strength. It flowed off them in waves.
And yet, it hadn’t touched River in quite the same way. He was strong, and yet there was that darkness she’d noted before, wedged between his human and wolf auras, affecting the way the power syphoned from the pack and into them. The human aura was still strong, but the wolf one was sickening, the darkness threaded through it more deeply.
The dream she’d had last night had made her see she needed to try to heal the wolf aura, but she couldn’t do that through the pack bond, because it was somehow cut off. Also, she had to approach it in a different way than she’d ever approached healing before. She had to try to touch him first, dig in deeper and then activate her healing. Hopefully then, that darkness that had lashed out at her wouldn’t have time to respond.
But to do all that, she had to prepare herself and him. She’d been so confident when she’d woken up that morning, she’d not thought about her reaction to him and what that might do to her concentration.
The reality of him smiling at her, undressing before her, the muscles beneath his golden skin rippling over sinew and bone, those sinfully long lashes lowering over hooded hazel eyes with golden flicks of amber in their heart, the secrets hidden there in those pain-filled depths …
Heat seeped through her in a slow, delicious crawl.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. Stop thinking about him that way. He’s a patient. Heal him.
She began to pull other candles, some essential oils and a base oil off the shelves. Things to calm and centre—she needed those most of all. She was restless, her skin itchy, her nerves tightly strung so that she was far more jumpy than usual. She really needed to get back to work. Yes, that was the true problem here. She needed to settle into some normalcy.
Dripping a few drops of lavender, sandalwood, patchouli and tangerine into a petri dish, she mixed them together and then dabbed the mix on her temples, the seat of her third eye, her pulse points on neck and wrist and then a dab over her heart. She lit another candle—eucalyptus, spruce, rosewood and ravensara—for clarity and deep, calm breathing. As the scent lifted in the air, mixing with the lemongrass candle she’d lit in a hurry before, she felt a sense of calm come over her. Of hope. Of certainty.
She could do this. What had just happened was an anomaly caused by exhaustion, anxiety and fear. Her grandma was right. She needed to play to her strengths. Healing River was one of the ways she could do that, but it wasn’t the only one. Perhaps closing down her shop was a panicked reaction. Things weren’t really all that bad. She could open up her shop at least, maybe take some clients on—those who just needed her ‘creams and lotions and potions’ as Skye called them. She may not be able to use her reiki, given she’d always tapped into the borrowed power of her Goddess to do it, but she could give normal massage therapy to her stressed-out clients.
Yes. That should be okay. Nothing untoward could happen then.
Aware of River behind her, waiting, watching, she began to mix the oils she’d used on herself in a dish with some massage oil then added a drop of frankincense—men did seem to object to smelling of flowers. It smelled exotic, slightly spicy now—a scent no man could have an objection to. The mix would calm him, slow and deepen his breathing, allay his fears and inspire his trust and security. She needed him to trust her. It would help her to trust herself.
Happy with the mix and feeling far more settled than she’d been moments before, she turned and walked over to him. Tension still bristled between them, but the candles she’d lit and the massage oil she was about to ask River to rub on his chest would help with that.
‘Here.’ She held out the bowl of oil.
River hesitated. ‘What is that?’
‘It’s acid and will burn your skin off,’ she snapped. His startled expression made her turn and light another frankincense candle because she obviously needed a little more calming. Taking in a deep breath, she turned, plastered a smile to her face and said, ‘Take two.’ She held out the bowl. ‘This is just some essential oils that will help calm you and build a sense of wellbeing and trust between us.’
‘I trust you.’
‘Yes, but I don’t trust myself and that’s part of the problem. So, I need all the help I can get.’
‘Right.’ He reached for the bowl.
‘You need to rub it on your chest over your heart.’ He opened his mouth as if to say something, but then thought better of it and began to rub the oil into his skin.
‘What?’ she asked, curious to know what he had been about to say.
‘Stop questioning yourself.’
‘I’m not …’
‘Yes, you are. I can see the cogs winding in your head all the time. But you have to stop questioning and just trust what you know to be true. Nobody would be happy being only ever half of what they were meant to be, and you shouldn’t expect yourself to be happy with that either. You need to get back to work. Healing me is not enough.’
Bron looked at him, her heart in her throat, her breath caught as his words reached down and turned her inside out. ‘How did you know?’
He rubbed the last of the oil into his chest and lay back on the treatment table. ‘Because it’s how I feel.’ Then, before she could read the truth of his statement in his eyes, he closed them and said, ‘Can we just get on with this? I’ve got a delivery of plants arriving this afternoon and I want to get them in before dark.’
Swallowing hard, Bron nodded, then realised he couldn’t see her. ‘Yes. Let’s start. I’m going to place my hands on you.’
His eyes flickered open and he levered himself up on his elbow before she could touch him. ‘I don’t want you to get hurt.’
Her lips wobbled as she smiled down at him. ‘I won’t be this time,’ she lied. ‘I’m just goi
ng to touch you without using my powers, have a poke around a bit with my third eye. What burned me last time doesn’t seem to mind me doing that, it’s only when I try to touch you with active healing powers it seems to have a problem.’
His eyes narrowed. ‘But you are going to try to activate them, aren’t you?’
‘Yes,’ she said, unable to lie to him again. ‘But in my dream, it worked this way.’
‘But that was just a dream.’
‘You said you trusted me.’
The silence was long, her nerves screaming with tension as she waited for his response.
‘I do,’ he said, and closed his eyes.
Her knees wobbled and she had to lock them so as not to fall in a crumpled heap on the floor. She let out her breath. ‘Okay, here I go.’
He lay silent and still as she rubbed her hands together, then reached out and placed them over his chest as if she were about to do CPR. The warmth of his skin under her hands was an exotic glide on her senses. Her breath sped up. She pulled her hands away.
‘Bronwyn,’ he whispered.
‘Yes.’
‘You can do this.’
She nodded, inexplicably calmed by his trust in her. Closing her eyes, she breathed in deeply, allowing the scents wafting in the air around her and rising from his warm skin to centre her.
‘I can do this,’ she whispered and reached out to touch him again. Warmth surged forward and she let it fold around her, sliding into its depths. She felt the little jerk that signified the opening of the pathways to her inner senses. On an exhaled breath, she opened her eyes.
Colour and energy waves fluctuated around her. As always, she took a moment to enjoy the beauty of colour and sensation that could so easily overwhelm a person when they entered into this energy plane. Thanking the Goddess for allowing her the gift of seeing the world this way, she sank further into the sight that allowed her to see the colour of life all around her. It was like welcoming a friend.
River was right. The power was part of her. Now she just had to learn to claim that part so she wasn’t half of who she was meant to be. If she could get through this healing session without anything going awry, then she would open her business again and try to get back to normal.
River’s auras were beautiful even though they were fractured by the darkness wedged between them, keeping them from being truly one. She tilted her head, and moved sideways a bit to get a different perspective. Still keeping contact with one hand, she lifted the other to run her fingers along the outside of his human aura. It was thin. Thinner than it should be. But the wolf aura was even thinner.
‘I can feel that,’ River said, his voice tight, as if he was in pain.
‘Does it hurt?’
‘No. It just feels strange. Warm. Have you started the healing yet?’
‘No.’ She moved her hand, nearing the little tear of darkness. It roiled, like a wave nearing the beach, the oily surge of it moving towards her hand. Beneath her other hand, River stiffened.
‘What does that feel like to you?’ she asked.
‘It’s not painful as such. It’s more like something rising in me, something acidic.’
‘Do you feel nauseous?’
‘Yes, but that’s not it. It’s more like something burning in my head. And around my heart.’
She nodded. That made sense. The darkness had tentacles threaded throughout his auras, but the thickest parts were centred over his head and his heart, and in those places his auras were the furthest apart. ‘I’m just going to try something.’
‘Be careful,’ he said through gritted teeth. ‘I can feel the Beast at the back of my mind, stirring. It doesn’t like this.’
‘It can’t come out until the full moon. I want to try to make certain it never comes out again.’ She wasn’t certain yet how to do that, but there was something here. If only she could figure out how to …
She moved, swapping her hands over so that her right hand was now over his heart and her left could reach for his head. ‘Stay still. I’m just going to slip into a trance and then try to activate the healing powers and see what happens.’
‘Bronwyn. I don’t know if that …’
‘Shh. Just let me try, River. Please.’
He did as she asked, but she could feel his tension. It was seeping into her. She couldn’t let it. Closing her eyes again, she visualised the glowing colours of his aura, focusing on the glistening threads of bond tying him, whether he liked it or not, to his twin and to his pack. Her breathing evened, slowed, as she went deeper, following the pathways right into the centre of his auras. The wolf aura was still blocked from both bonds. She looked closer. But there was something there. Something so fine, she’d almost missed it. She reached towards it with her mind, touching the glistening thread, the lightest of caresses.
A howl sounded in her head, mournful and yearning. Power flared behind her eyes, golden and sparkling. Behind the howl she heard a growl and a hiss. Words, cold yet unintelligible, whispered across her mind, leaving a burn of despair in their wake. She cried out.
Beneath her hands, River jerked and swore, then rolled off the table, breaking the connection. ‘Bronwyn, are you all right?’
She blinked. Partially lost in her trance, she saw the colours surge around him, the darkness flaring out like a hissing whip, sinking deeper into his wolf aura, dulling the vibrant colours further. ‘Oh, Goddess, I’ve made it worse.’
‘No, you didn’t.’ River leaned against the other side of the table. ‘I felt that. You did something.’
She blinked, shook her head. ‘I don’t know what.’
‘You began to use your powers.’
‘I didn’t mean to. I wasn’t ready for it. I don’t know what happened.’ She blinked again, her vision still wavering. ‘Did I hurt you?’
‘Don’t worry about me. You look like hell. Adam, get in here. Something’s happened.’
The door opened and strong hands gripped her shoulders, turning her around ‘Bron. Come on, Bron. Come back to us.’
‘Adam. Don’t touch her.’
He let go of her and moved aside to make room for Shelley. ‘What? What are you doing here?’
‘I felt something fluctuate in the power. By the looks of it, you felt it too.’ Shelley reached out and began to rub Bron’s hands.
‘Is she safe?’ River’s tense voice snapped her the rest of the way out of the trance. He turned to look at Shelley. ‘You said you felt something. Was she pushing too hard? Is she about to pass out again?’
Shelley stopped and cocked her head. ‘No. It’s not coming from Bron. Harrison agrees.’
‘He’s with you again today?’ Adam asked.
‘Yes.’ Shelley looked to her left and rolled her eyes. ‘And no, you can’t “pop into my body” again. It hurts and this isn’t important enough.’
She stopped, frowned.
‘What’s he saying?’ Bron asked, stepping towards her friend, aware of River coming to stand behind her. She could feel his presence like a soothing hand stroking up and down her back.
‘He says it is important …’ She rolled her eyes again. ‘Yeah, I think you’re a little biased on this.’
‘What?’ all three of them barked at her, used to these strange conversations Shelley had that they couldn’t hear, but finding this one particularly frustrating.
Shelley winced and she touched her head. ‘Don’t shout at me. Everyone’s shouting at me.’ Adam put out his hand to touch her, but she shrank back. ‘I’m fine,’ she snapped. ‘It would be nice if everyone stopped shouting, that’s all.’ Turning back to Bron, she jerked her thumb towards the presence of Harrison Cantrae that only she could see. Although, as River stepped from behind her, she noticed his gaze was focused on the spot to Shelley’s left.
‘Can you see Harrison, River?’
He nodded briefly. ‘Sometimes. Less now than before. But that doesn’t matter. So you thinks it’s coming from Skye, Grandpa?’
‘What’s coming fro
m Skye?’ Bron asked.
Shelley looked at her as if she were daft. ‘The surge in our power. I know you can feel it.’ Her gaze flickered down. ‘Look at that.’
Bron glanced at her hands. ‘Holy crap!’ Licks of orange flame with a green heart sparked from the ends of them.
‘Fucking hell!’ River reached for her.
‘No.’ She held her hands behind her as she stepped away from him. ‘Don’t touch me. It might burn you.’
‘Is it burning you?’ His eyes were hot coals in his face, with licks of amber flame, his nostrils flaring as his breathing became faster, shallower, as if he’d been running.
‘What’s wrong with you?’ she asked, her focus suddenly entirely on him.
‘That’s not the question to ask right now,’ he said.
‘No? Then what is?’
‘Your hands are on fire. What do you think the question should be?’
‘It doesn’t hurt.’ But as she said the words, there was a lick of energy that raked along her nerve endings and she winced.
‘Right. That does it.’ River stepped towards her.
‘Stop, River. Don’t touch her.’ Skye appeared in the doorway.
River didn’t look at her, his gaze locked on Bron. ‘Why shouldn’t I touch my …’ He stumbled over the word, almost saying ‘mate’ in his haste to do what he felt was right by Bronwyn. Recovering, he said, ‘… my packmate?’
‘Because my power has been building and it surged a few minutes ago. Jason wasn’t nearby and I don’t know yet how to syphon it straight into the pack without needing physical touch.’ She clenched her fist by her side.
‘You can’t learn everything at once,’ Adam said.
Her gaze met his. ‘I need to. I’m not learning fast enough.’
River avoided her gaze as it landed on him. ‘You’d learn faster if you didn’t spend so much time trying to find a way to help me.’
Bron sucked in a breath. ‘River! That’s not very nice.’
‘Nice or not, it’s true. But it’s also beside the point right now. I want to know what happened and why it’s affecting Bronwyn … and Shelley.’
Moon Bound Page 8